


Bonds Of Descendants

by Haruhi02



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aka lots of kissing for plot purposes, Anxiety, Blood and Injury, Bonding, Ensemble Cast, Friendship, Gen, Kiss Kiss Fall in Love, Kissing, Long Ass chapter titles for people with a fetish for that sort of thing, Minor Violence, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Platonic Fantasy AU, Somewhat of a Kamisama Kiss AU, Swearing, The power of friendship, and fail, and very soft at times, eventually, fail very hard, how does one fail at kiss kiss fall in love you may ask?, how is that not already a tag, i don't know read and find out, kiss kiss fall in despair is what this fic should have been called, lots of first names, not a lot of romance, or at all at times, the plot is literally this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 05:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 98,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8389051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haruhi02/pseuds/Haruhi02
Summary: Kozume Kenma has been missing for six years, thirteen weeks and two days. When Kuroo Tetsurou finally gets a hold of a clue that should have lead him to Kenma, he gets sucked into a world of gods, deities and a whole lot of magic. He finds out that the story and disappearance of Kozume Kenma is far more complicated than any one could have ever expected.((Or: In which Kozume Kenma is missing, Kuroo Tetsurou is divine, Iwaizumi Hajime is not good with the mushy stuff, Oikawa Tooru is his own person, Ushijima Wakatoshi is misunderstood, and ??????? ???????? unwillingly ties them all together.))





	1. In which Kuroo Tetsurou and Iwaizumi Hajime learn the pros and cons of kitchen fires

**Author's Note:**

> i give up. here's a platonic fantasy au.

**Bonds of Descendants**

* * *

 

Chapter One: In which Kuroo Tetsurou and Iwaizumi Hajime learn the pros and cons of kitchen fires

* * *

 

It's been six years, thirteen weeks, and two days, and Tetsurou still can't bring himself to forget Kenma.

The police have long given up the search for the lost individual; they are simply standing by for the final days of his disappearance to become a year so they can officially declare Kozume Kenma dead. Tetsurou can say with one hundred percent confidence that he's still alive. He has no facts. No proof. Not one semblance of physical evidence. He just _knows_.

Because of this, Tetsurou still searches for him: on the bus; in the streets; in the mall when buying clothes; under the stupid, ever-changing cherry blossoms. He's seen them five times without Kenma; he has no desire for a sixth.

Tetsurou always feels like he missed something from the last time he had seen Kenma. A sign. A cryptic message; something Kenma had trusted him to figure out when Tetsurou had really only been left as in the dark as everyone else.

" _Kuro." Tetsurou is exhausted. His first year in college was shaping up to be even more exhausting than his last year of high school. He'd known all his relatives had been giving empty promises when they told him the worst of it was over. Tetsurou had flung himself on his mushy couch and is part delirious from lack of sleep. However, Kenma is asking for his attention even while Tetsurou's eyes are threatening to close so it must be important. He sits up and grunts a "hm?" as he braces his neck against the back of the couch._

_Instead of verbalizing whatever he had wanted to say that day, Kenma stays silent. Pursing his lips, Kenma's gaze shifts everywhere except where his best friend is. Tetsurou remembers thinking that it is weird how nervous Kenma had been. He's not used to Nervous Kenma; his best friend shouldn't have been that anxious around him._

_All of a sudden, Tetsurou feels a different type of sleepy, an I'm Actually Falling Asleep sleepy, and the moment before he closes his eyes, Kenma finally focuses on him. Tetsurou had sealed his eyes tight then so he can only rely on his other senses to recall what had happened afterwards. He remembers something light and feathery touch his forehead and the words: "Take care of everything Kuro."_

_Kenma disappears the very next day._

What had Kenma meant by 'everything'? Did he mean to take care of their friends? Of Kenma's possessions? Why couldn't Kenma take care of them? Why had he disappeared? Where had he disappeared to? Why hadn't he told Tetsurou where he was going? There must be some double meaning in his last words, something Tetsurou misses every single time he thinks about it, something Cryptic Kenma had left for him to figure out.

Not matter how long Tetsurou racks his brain about it, he can never find the right puzzle pieces.

Tetsurou sometimes scoffs when he remembers that he had been in advanced college classes, that he had been captain of the volleyball team, that people had called him observant and level-headed. What was the point of any of it if he couldn't use it to find his best friend? Was he just getting old or did the infinite amount of bad jokes Bokuto sent him on a daily basis ( _still_ sends him on a daily basis) destroy his rational side while cultivating his very useless pun-making and meme-ing skills to mastery?

The door to the apartment clicks open and Tetsurou leans back as far as he can against the couch to glimpse the sight of Iwaizumi carrying two bags of Chinese food. Tetsurou reaches for the bag lazily, like a child asking for sweets. "Give this starving man some food, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi holds the bag just out of reach. "Excuse me?"

"Oh great Iwaizumi-san, savior of the poor, prosecutor of the benevolent, bestow this piss-poor soul with the nutrients that is Chinese—" Tetsurou doesn't even finish his dramatic praise before Iwaizumi throws the bag at him.

"You make it sound like you're the only piss-poor person around here." Iwaizumi heaves a sigh and moves around the couch Tetsurou's thrown across to sit on the adjacent one. He sets his own bag of Chinese on the almond coffee table and instead of ripping open the paper bag and eating, he places his palms on his forehead.

Tetsurou only sees Iwaizumi like this once and it's when they're late on rent.

"Iwaizumi-kun," Tetsurou begins matter-of-factly. "I know you're worried about rent and stuff but starving yourself isn't going to help."

Iwaizumi scowls and glares. "Don't call me that." He opens up his own bag and takes out the container within. He pauses again, seems to have a whole conversation in his head while Tetsurou slurps his noodles and then agrees with whatever he was fighting over with himself with a swift nod. Tetsurou struggles to hide a snort at that.

"Kuroo," There's something weighty about the way Iwaizumi says his name, like he had meant to say _Kuroo_ not Kuroo, "I found something at the library today." Iwaizumi pulls what looks to be a piece of paper out of his pocket and gives Tetsurou a long, hard look before flinging it on the table between them. Tetsurou leans forward, mouth full of food, to examine this seemingly innocent piece of paper Iwaizumi found at the library.

Tetsurou nearly spits out his noodles when the glaring bold letters spelling **KOZUME SHRINE** stare back at him.

"Listen," Tetsurou can barely hear Iwaizumi over the pounding in his ears. A clue; a freaking clue. Finally: _something_. "I don't want to get our hopes up too high, ok? Kozume isn't really a common name so I just thought it was worth a shot."

"Yeah, ok, sure—" Tetsurou holds the postcard gingerly between his fingers. On the back there's an address and the pounding in Tetsurou's ears gets louder. He manages to say, "Can I—."

"Just go."

Even though Tetsurou on any other day would have taken more than twenty minutes to change out of pure laziness, today he grapples out of his pajamas and into his clothes in a minute flat.

After he flags down a bus and jimmies himself in a window seat, he has the world to think.

Tetsurou is beside himself with unadulterated excitement. Finally, a step forward; a step in the direction of finding Kenma. Maybe if he gets any luckier, he'll actually find him. Then Tetsurou can feel right again. The cords broken inside of him will right themselves if he can just see that Kenma is alive and living. That's all he needs to stop feeling broken. He _needs_ to find Kenma.

The bus halts at the most secluded, deserted bus-stop ever yet it does nothing to damper Tetsurou's spirits. Even when the man driving the automobile asks him if he's sure this is where he wants to stop, Tetsurou happily affirms it and thanks the old guy.

The Kozume Shrine stands at the end of a secluded staircase after numerous dead-ends and bush-trampling. He walks under a burnt, broken torii at the top. It feels ominous and unnerving because it's the only damaged construction. The shrine itself is made from a charred wooden structure, elevated off lush grass, supporting a crimson tiled roof that curves at the edges. For some odd reason, there are no ceremonial bells or future stands, no animal guardians or even living souls anywhere. It doesn't feel off to Tetsurou just yet. Just odd. There's not a single element of a normal shrine here but the shrine building itself.

 _And a beat-up, burned down torii…_ Tetsurou ignores the cynical voice inside of him that reminds of that. He ignores it along with the very Negative Tetsurou that tells him he's raising his hopes too high and that he should lower them before he gets hurt again. Instead of listening to the Negative Tetsurou, Tetsurou listens to the positive one, that one that tells him Kenma's been here, that he's lived here for a long time and that if he slides open the shrine door, he'll see a mop of onyx hair fussing over character customization and the best matchup for overpowered offspring exactly like he'd been six years, thirteen weeks and two days ago.

Tetsurou knows Kenma's going to be there when he opens the sliding door, and Tetsurou will be shocked and thrilled and mad to see him just standing there, waiting for Tetsurou—

" _Kenma!_ Where have you been?! You took such a long time, I was so very worried—"

The wooden panel slides open before Tetsurou can ride another train of thought and something big, white and furry jumps him.

Over the top of this gigantic-ass dog that's just leapt at Tetsurou, he spies one of the most odd looking women Tetsurou's ever seen in his twenty four years of living. She's maybe less than half a head shorter than him, donning a pristine white yukata dotted with rose-colored flowers. White hair tumbles down her shoulders, and as if her physical features can't get any more deviant, the glare she sends his startled face is coloured with vermillion hues. At least, he hopes it's only startled and not jaw-dropped stunned because even with the weird anime protagonist hair and the eye color that should not exist, she's really, _really_ pretty.

"You're… not Kenma." It's the woman who says this. Tetsurou had heard  her say Kenma's name the first time and hearing it again make his hopes skyrocket.

"You know Kenma? Is he here?" He hopes his voice didn't crack at that last bit. He needs to focus. He's found his lead from this beautiful albino woman and he's going to grasp at it like his life depends on it.

The woman doesn't answer. Instead, she reaches out and Tetsurou is startled to find her lift his bangs aside. Her hand is soft against his scalp and warm and… glowing? No, it's Tetsurou's _forehead_ that's glowing. It feels all fuzzy and weird and—why is his forehead _glowing_?

"I… I see." The woman states, still unresponsive to Tetsurou's question as she folds her hands back into the sleeves of her yukata. Tetsurou realizes that she isn't really glaring. It's sadness in her eyes. Suddenly, Tetsurou isn’t sure about Kenma being here at all.

Negative Tetsurou tells him the first two guesses don't count at the same time the woman gives a silent nod after he asks, "Kenma isn't here, is he?"

* * *

 

After fifteen minutes of staring at his old laptop screen, Hajime decides he's overdue for a break and a long walk. He scraps his chair against the floor, stuffs his hand in his pockets and makes his way out of the stuffiness of his and Kuroo's apartment.

Hajime actually needs to walk to the location he wants to take a stroll in but he doesn't mind the extra time to think.

Hajime frankly doesn't know if he's done the right thing. He knows if he hadn't given Kuroo the postcard, the guilt would've eaten him away until he _had_ given it to him. There are a few issues Hajime feels guilty about in the whole Disappearance of Kozume Kenma ordeal. He knows it's stupid but somewhere, deep inside, he can't help but think it's his fault.

Hajime had never been the type to ask for much. He had a nice family, good friends and even if he's semi-poor at the moment, he has enough food and clothes to sustain his needs. Hajime had never asked for more than he was given nor did he ever want more.

Sometimes though, Hajime had wished he had a best friend.

It's not that he doesn't have friends; he has a handful of very amazing friends (even if half of them act like asshats because they deem it _fun_ ) and Hajime is grateful for every single one of them. However, he has never felt that he had a best friend in any of them. He never feels that any of them understand him like the back of their hand the way he wants them to nor does he feel he does the same for them. He wants a friend the same way Kenma was a friend to Kuroo.

Hajime had wished for that and he feels, by some cruel spin of fate, some deity had taken hold of his wish and granted in the cruelest way possible; by making Kozume Kenma disappear off the face of the earth and forcing Kuroo to find a closer friend in Hajime.

Hajime knows it's stupid. There's no way that's the truth nor what really happened. He just feels that way sometimes.

Hajime finally arrives at the pathway near Natori riverbank and takes in the smell of the river. He shadows his typical path and lets the wind hit his face. Momentarily, Hajime closes his eyes and imagines what would happen if Kuroo really does find Kenma. Hajime would bash the idiot over the head first, reprimand him for being stupid, integrate every single detail out of him until Hajime knows where he's been exactly and then grab him in a one-arm hug and tell him never to scare Kuroo (or him) like that ever again.

Hajime opens his eyes, sees a naked man passed out on the riverbank, and sighs.

Hajime halts because _there is a naked man passed out on the riverbank._

Hajime jerks into action. He slides down the bank and his sneakers dig into the gravel as he runs to help the guy.

"Oi! Are you ok?!" He drops next to the man and lifts his face so it isn't stuck in the gravel and to make sure he'd breathing. He is, thank god, and Hajime sighs with relief. It doesn't last very long when he becomes conscious of the fact how roughed up the guy is. His body is littered with multi-colored bruises and splotches of blood. A breathe Hajime hadn't known he was holding releases.

He should call the police.

He fumbles with his phone, unbelieving he has a serious reason to call the cops; that he's going to press three numbers that will cause this riverbank to be swamped with police cars and just when he's about to press the last number, his phone rings and he jumps.

And the roughed up guy in his lap leaps up.

Hajime's baffled, caught between staring in disbelief at the man dusting himself off, mumbling to himself in a language Hajime doesn't know, and answering his phone call. Since Still Naked Guy is apparently able to walk even when Hajime was about to flag down an ambulance a moment ago, Hajime presses the green button on his phone and says, "H—hello?"

"Hey, Iwaizumi." It's his landlord.

Hajime omits the memory of Naked Guy immediately and suddenly holds his phone closer and more grimly. He knew this was going to happen eventually. Naoi has gotten sick of them and was now kicking them out. Hajime apologizes a million times over. Kuroo and him were too poor and three months late on rent and if Naoi could just— "—wait until I get my paycheck on Friday—"

"Iwaizumi." Hajime stops. Naoi is using his I'm Older Than You So You Need To Shut It voice and Hajime knows it's no use. They've strung this too far and now they need to deal with the consequences. Accepting his fate with a deep exhale (maybe this is what he got for wishing too), Hajime thinks about everything they have and need to get to live out until they find a new place. Maybe they should reenact Kuroo's and his first year college plan: special fruits basket edition—

"I'm not sure how to break this to you but… there _is_ no apartment for you to pay rent anymore. It just got burned down in a kitchen fire."

They can easily get the necessary camping items, and with the lowered living costs they can pay back the three month's rent they owe and maybe—

" _I'm not sure how to break this to you but there is no apartment for you to pay rent anymore. It burned down in a kitchen fire."_

"E— _Excuse me?_ " Was this a joke? Did Hajime accidently fall asleep? Is he dreaming? Is he in a greater nightmare than the ones he puts himself in? But Naoi isn't the type to joke about something as serious as the building seventeen people lived in had burned into the ground.

"There was a fire and the whole place was toasted in fifteen minutes flat. Thankfully, no one got hurt too badly. They were all mostly out."

Hajime doesn't think he's breathing.

"We were too late in calling the fire department. The whole place is gone—" Naoi sighs deeply. "Just like that."

" _Just like that."_ Just like that, Hajime's home is gone. Just like that, Hajime has nowhere to go back to. Just like that, Hajime has nothing left but the clothes on his back. Just like that, Kenma had disappeared. Just like that, Hajime has nothing.

" _Just like that."_

"Hey! _Hey!_ "

There is a naked man in front of him. No; the naked man Hajime had completely forgotten about is now in front of him. He stares Hajime in the eyes, holds him by the shoulders and gives him a good shake.

Some semblance of mind returns to Hajime with the gesture. He had never thought being actually shaken would help him return to a better mindset. It’s so strange being shaken and helped by a naked man he doesn’t even know. Hajime just about to comment in gratitude or thanks or _something_ just as he hears Naoi ask, "—do you and Kuroo have some place you can stay until we figure this out?"

They can no longer rely on anything but themselves and their capabilities. Hajime stares back at this man who shook him and finds himself nodding. Both to him, and to Naoi's question. "Me and Kuroo will figure something out."

Naoi goes silent on the other end and he's back with his stern adult voice a moment later. "If I find out you and Kuroo are back in tents again, I'm going to drag you back to old Nekomata's place by the scruffs of your necks, you got that?"

Hajime gives a nervous chuckle. "We were stupid freshmen back then."

" _You got that?"_

"I got it."

"Good. I gotta go make sure Kyoutani hasn't murdered Haiba yet. Talk to you later."

The line cuts off and Hajime lowers his phone. Naked Guy releases him and puts his hands at his hips in akimbo, "Now that you've gotten yourself sorted out, do you mind if I steal your clothing?"

And then, as if he had just wished for his day to get worse, Hajime has the most absurd experience of some strange man who had literally just helped steady Hajime to his feet a second ago try to rip his clothes off.

* * *

 

Kentarou has never been so close to committing a homicide.

He hadn't left Lev for an _hour_ ; he'd left the bastard for _twenty seven minutes_ and he comes back to the ashes of the apartment and a very soot-covered, excited Lev. Kentarou hadn't even known it was _possible_ to even burn down an entire apartment complex in under a half hour but he should've known Lev would find a way to do the impossible. Sure there may been some gas leak or something that had doomed them all when Lev had begun cooking but he still blames the idiot. Kentarou has not been this mad since Lev had nearly drowned Yahaba by throwing the non-swimmer into the Natori. And he doesn't even _like_ Yahaba.

"Don't worry, Kyo, we get to live in Nekomata-san's creepy house now! Isn't that awesome?!"

The only 'awesome' positive in this situation is if Kentarou can work out how to burn Lev's existence out of the world with the heat of his glare. Why is this bastard so fucking happy when he's the fuckard who just ruined seventeen different peoples' days?

Lev sets a hand on his shoulder and hounds him. "Kyo, you can't keep making that weird face. It's going to stick and then everyone will really think you're from the yakuza!"

Kentarou realizes that his bastard friend just ruined _Iwaizumi's_ day and he punches him.

Lev goes down with a squawk so damn infuriating that Kentarou is nearly on him again. He wants to shank this guy so bad. But he can't because Lev is his _friend_ and friends don't kill each other (which has never stopped him from pummeling the idiot before but he knows if he does, Yahaba will nag him until he finds a way for it to bother Kentarou.)

"Did you just— _punch_ me?" Lev asks in wonder. Why is Kentarou acquainted with this schlep? Why does Kentarou only know people who drive him up walls? Is he a fucking masochist?

"I should be the adult here and tell you that was wrong but we all know Lev was asking for it."

Naoi comes up behind them and places a hand on Kentarou's shoulder. "The idiot only gets one today though." He adds with a warning look.

Kentarou knows he's right but that doesn't stop him from thinking about it.

"It was an accident. Accidents happen all the time." Naoi grips Kentarou's shoulder a little tighter, "The important thing is we learn from them." Why was Naoi being all poetic and shit? Did he accidentally inhale some of the smoke? Screw Lev for that one too.

Lev shoots up and salutes. Kentarou is not joining him. "Yes sir!"

"Or some other shit proverb." Kentarou smirks. That was more like Naoi. "Please don't burn down Nekomata-san's place too, Lev."

Kentarou and Lev walk off to find a bus to Nekomata's. They have nothing but the clothes on their backs and the money in their banks. They could stay at Yahaba's (he's been asking them to move in since the first moon phase) but then he'd nag a lot. Any place without Yahaba's constant hovering and badgering is the better place.

Lev catches up to Kentarou after he'd lagged behind to say something to Naoi.

"Staying at Nekomata's place is going to be cool and everything," Lev blabbers. "But what are we going to do on Friday? There's a full moon."

Kentarou freezes. If he hadn't thought they were screwed before, they sure were now.

" _Shiro." Tetsurou sees Kenma slide open a door, "I'm back."_

" _Welcome back." Tetsurou finds himself saying. But it isn't his voice that comes out nor him who initiates the word, it's a feminine voice filled with something Tetsurou places as warmth. "What took you so long? The food is cold now."_

" _Sorry, I was at… Kuro's."That was true. Kenma had been at his house that day, hadn't he? Kenma stays in the doorway, nervous, exactly the way he'd been when he'd been at Tetsurou's. Tetsurou feels worry that isn't his well up in him. His Not-Voice doesn't get to say anything before Kenma perks up and states, "Shiro, there's a midnight release today…"_

" _Again?" Even though legs that aren't his walk through a corridor into a kitchen, and hands that aren't his stuff food in a bento box, a voice that isn't his says exasperatedly, "I never understand why you can't magic up these games of yours."_

_Tetsurou turns around in this body that isn't him and finds surprise expand with not his worry from earlier when Kenma wraps his hands around his not waist and buries his head in his not chest._

" _K-Kenma? What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?"_

_Tetsurou's not hand stills at his sides when Kenma shakes his head. A long minute passes, he feels the corners of his not lips turn up in a smile and a hand that isn't his pats Kenma's hair._

" _You are not yourself today."_

" _I'm sorry."_

_A chuckle. "You have nothing to apologize for."_

" _I'm sorry."_

_Here, Tetsurou feels confusion and more worry. Kenma releases him from the hug and takes the bento box. He looks him once in the eyes._

" _I'll be back." Kenma turns around and begins to walk away._

" _Kenma." Tetsurou sees through his not eyes Kenma's shoulders stop moving. "Are you sure you're alright?"_

_Kenma doesn't answer for a long time._

" _I'm ok."_

_Tetsurou's vision begins to fade and in his last moments of the memory that isn't his, he feels so much regret he almost screams._

Gods, deities, spirits and magic are real and Tetsurou has no idea what to think.

This woman, Shiro, had been Kenma's familiar and Kozume Kenma had been a…well, _a god_. It hadn't been something he was born with but something forced onto him by the previous deity. Kenma hadn't even known his last name. He'd just taken the name written on the shrine forced onto him when he was only five. Tetsurou doesn't know what's worse; Kenma's parents apparently burning to death in dragon fire when he was three or being forced to become a god at five.

Tetsurou is just grateful that Kenma had never been alone for that. Shiro had been the one who'd saved three-year old Kenma from the fire and had taken care of him ever since. She's Kenma's only family or; the only family Kenma had ever had in the first place.

"Magic… is real?" Tetsurou is reeling. There are so many new memories swirling in his head, it overwhelms him completely. Missing deities, missing gods, rising in human gods. Weakening borders between realms. Bad spirits, good spirits, ghosts. Werewolves, kitsune, dragons, ogres, goblins, dwarves, shamans, lawyers. Youkai, youkai market, youkai laughing, youkai existing. Kenma transferring his divine power to him; Kenma telling him to take care of everything; Kenma disappearing; Kenma leaving it all to Tetsurou—

" _Tetsurou."_ Cold palms smack his cheeks and Tetsurou is pulled back to reality by the piercing red gaze of Shiro.

"Calm yourself and breathe."

It takes extended shattering breathes for Tetsurou to right himself. The sting in his cheeks and the cool feel of the hands help. Shiro keeps looking at him even after he feels right again and her hands stay on his cheeks. Tetsurou's feel his stilling heartbeat quicken again for a different reason. Shiro is just… _really_ pretty.

"Um, I'm ok now." He says in a small voice that sounds anything but alright.

Shiro narrows her eyes and _glares_ at him from over her nose. "Are you? Or are you just telling me what I desire to hear?"

Tetsurou gulps. Her gaze is terrifyingly intense with the red hues and Tetsurou feels he has to say the right thing or she'll eat him alive.

"I'm fine. Really."

Shiro leans back and takes her palms off his cheeks. Tetsurou represses a shuttering breath. Even with all those memories; that had been a different experience entirely. Again, he feels a quickening in his pulse and a weird flappy feeling in his stomach.

"This is a responsibility to be taken with a pinch of salt." Shiro finally discloses. "You don't need to do all the things Kenma did," Shiro stops at that then corrects, "Actually, Kenma never did any of those things. I did a lot and we hired people for the rest, no, the most important thing here is if you still want all these memories."

The most important thing is if he wants these memories? Shiro can even take them all away with magic? Tetsurou can… forget about Kenma?

"No." Tetsurou clenches his fist. Kenma had told him to take care of everything and damn him if he wasn't going to do so. How will he ever find Kenma otherwise? "No, I'll take this responsibility."

Shiro assesses him, calculates how much truth and conviction there is to Tetsurou's words and then honest-to-god smiles. Tetsurou's stomach does a triple front straight. He finds himself thinking. _That's unfair._

The close-eyed smile doesn't reach her eyes though, "Then welcome home, new deity of Kozume Shrine."

And then she leans forward and kisses him right on the mouth.

* * *

 

If this guy hadn't helped him out, Hajime would've murdered him.

After squabbling for a good ten minutes, the asshat manages to remove Hajime's pants and puts them on with a triumphant mocking grin.

"Now, was that so hard?" The bastard looks down at his bare ankles, "These are a little breezy though."

Hajime pulls back his hand to punch the bastard but he dodges right. Hajime knees him in the gut. It connects and Hajime has never felt so great in his life.

He leaves the douchebag withering on the floor to answer a text from Kuroo telling him to come to the shrine ASAP with the address linked. Hajime would love to go to the shrine after such a message (maybe Kuroo had found something). However, his current state of Godzilla boxers deem otherwise.

Hajime has no idea how he's going to get his pants back. Even though the asshat is a bastard for stealing Hajime's pants, he'd been a strong bastard. The only compromise Hajime can come with to handle this situation is still going to leave Hajime pants-less for a longer period of time then he feels comfortable with.

So he grabs the asshat's arm and drags him to the nearest street, ignoring all the strange looks he's getting and trying to stammer down his red cheeks on will alone.

"I appreciate how you've come around and all but where exactly are we going? You can just give me your clothes here, " asks the bastard. Hajime glares at him after he flags down a taxi. This is going to be one the most awkward taxi rides Hajime's ever going to experience but he has absolutely no say in the matter.

"To get you some actual clothes." Shrines usually have offerings for the poor, right?

When the taxi ride is finally fucking over (Hajime had forgotten that along with being shirtless, the bastard was covered in blood and bruises too) and after getting lost several times and having to call Kuroo to clarify where the actual fuck he was, he finds his guffawing best friend near the end of a hidden staircase. He waits exactly five moments before smacking the back of Kuroo's stupid head.

"Stop laughing."

Now Half-Naked Man steps around Hajime. "Is this where we're going to find some clothes? I hope they have longer pants." Half-Naked Man bustles around Kuroo and they accidently touch shoulders. Out of absolutely nowhere, a light bursts out, blue sparks fly and Hajime is blinded temporarily. When he shimmies his eyelids again, Half-Naked Man is down with black kanji suddenly all over his neck and chest, reading as _restrict_ and _contain_ and _prevent_ and a bunch of other occulted sorts.

A moment passes in which the man down doesn't come back up and Hajime has no idea what just happened.

"What the actual fuck just happened?" Hajime exclaims. He wasn't dreaming was he? First the apartment burns down and now he's seeing nonexistent lights and kanji. Maybe he's late for a much needed check-up.

Kuroo eyes the fallen man and then looks at Haijme. "I'm not entirely sure but this might help." Kuroo reaches into his pocket and pulls out a freaking talisman and a black marker. He scribbles something on the paper and then moves toward Hajime.

"Trust me, this is going to explain a lot." And Hajime has no idea how he's supposed to trust his idiot friend with the when he still can't comprehend what the hell just happened. He has no say in the matter before Kuroo slaps the paper on his forehead and Hajime's mind explodes. He's suddenly remembering memories he's never had all surrounding one particular individual Hajime had never thought he'd ever hear of again.

"Kuroo—What the—Kenma was a _god_?"

Kuroo grins at him. "And I'm his legacy. Isn't it awesome? We even have a new place to stay at and it's _free_."

Despite every horrible experience that's happened to Hajime today, the assurance that he has a place to go back to after everything that's happened overrides every negative and Hajime exhales with much needed relief.

He still has a home and that's all that matters.


	2. In which Haiba Lev and Kyoutani Kentarou discover the pros and cons of burning their year's supply of wolfsbane

**Bonds of Descendants**

* * *

 

Chapter Two: In which Haiba Lev and Kyoutani Kentarou discover the pros and cons of burning their year's supply of wolfsbane

* * *

 

Living with a spirit two hundred years his senior, Hajime decides, is like moving in with his family all over again.

For the past week, Shiro has taken it upon herself to 1) wake them up in the morning 2) make breakfast for them 3) clean the entirety of the shrine _alone_ 4) make lunch for them 5) make dinner for them 6) do their laundry 7) ask about their day 8) ask about their lives 9) ask them about Kenma (which makes both him and Kuroo understandably squeamish) and 10) not waste a single opportunity for a well-timed roasting. Basically, it's like gaining a sister, mother and wife in one sass filled package and it's frankly driving Hajime completely _insane_.

Hajime had thought Kuroo would feel the same since he'd tried to wrestle some chores off Shiro's back yesterday but _no_ , he's actually _enjoying_ this. He's got this sort of soft puppy-dog look about him around the spirit and it turns wolfish when a clever quip leaves her lips. Hajime isn't entirely sure why it's bothering him so much. Hell, he's built up quite the immunity from years spent with the three stooges so it can't possibly be the sudden increase of sass in his life. It must be the sudden weightless he feels on his shoulder—the responsibilities he's become accustomed to abruptly taken out of his hands.

He's about to let it go because hell, if the spirit likes to clean then let the spirit clean. But then he finds her washing his underwear and yeah _nope_ , they need to talk about his dire need for personal space.

"Shiro." Hajime will bet a thousand bucks that isn't her real name or anywhere close to her last one. He's uncomfortable with the thought of addressing a stranger so closely, especially since they don't know each other that well. She, however, has no such qualms, addressing both him and Kuroo by first name like she's known them for years.

She doesn't look at him, busy cutting up some vegetable. The amusement in her tone, though, and the way she parrots his approach indicates she's listening. "Hajime."

Folding his arms to physically restrain himself from rubbing at the forthcoming headache, Hajime leans against the doorway of the kitchen as Shiro continues her prepping.

"Look, me and Kuroo are grown-ass—" He coughs into his fist to buffer the word before it fully leaves his mouth. The entertained curl that pops onto the sides of Shiro's smile sure doesn't indicate his success. " _Grown_ men. We don't need you to cook for us or provide anything. We're perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves."

He leans away from the doorframe and unfolds his arms before adding, "And I'd really appreciate it if you just called me 'Iwaizumi'."

Shiro hums a listless tone, unresponsive to his demands as she finishes up the last touches on breakfast. After she sets the last dish on the table, she peers at Hajime curiously. This reaction is different from what Hajime has been expecting, considering all previous spice, but maybe that means he'll get somewhere this time.

Her peerless gaze lasts another moment before she finally says, "I'm a two hundred year old spirit." Hajime nods. There isn't any counter-argument in that statement so far— "Any age you may be, be it toddler age, or grown ass man age," Hajime does not wince from that, "Is still a baby to me. I've never really thought of referring to a _baby_ by their last name."

There's the scowl-generating response. "Well you sure don't look like you're about to keel over from old age any time soon," Hajime snaps back a little too rushed. It's an obvious attempt to steer him away from the baby treatment conversation yet it's working like a charm. Having taken a seat at the foot of the table somewhere during the baby accusation, Shiro is currently scrutinizing Hajime while he tries to rack his brain for anything he could use to steer this situation in his favor. He's pretty sure there's a whole human years versus youkai years argument that he can use here. However, knowing Shiro, she probably has a dry answer for that too. So he sighs and tries to go for her sympathetic side which is just as nonexistent and sardonic as her girly one. "Look, I'm not used to anyone referring to me so... closely. I'd like it if you at least respected that. Even if you still act like I'm five."

He certainly hadn't expected the realization dancing in her eyes. There wasn't anything in what he had just said that warranted such expressive discovery. Maybe he really had reached Sympathetic Shiro through some act of god.

"Oh, I understand now."

"What do you…understand…" Staggering into the kitchen with and an inquiry and a ginormous yawn, Kuroo scratches a bare slab of skin near his belly while he trudges to the coffee machine.

Hajime's scowl deepens and his brow knots. This is another thing that Hajime thinks they need to talk about it: they've barely been here for six days and Kuroo acts like he's been living here for the past fifty years. Hajime thought that, be it begrudgingly, a pretty girl in the vicinity would make at least have some decency. But Hajime might be a little harsh. This _is_ Morning, Bedraggled, I Look Like I Haven't Slept In Fifty Years Kuroo right before his morning cup of coffee; Hajime can't really expect much of his friend in this state.

Of course, that isn't going to stop Hajime from talking to him later. After he's made sure Shiro is clear on his demands. Because the curved edge of her smirk does not give the impression he's going to like what she's understood from his plea.

"It seems that Hajime's afraid of the cooties."

Kuroo snorts so hard into his coffee he nearly drops the cup. Hajime doesn't find it nearly as funny and is one remark away from throwing something at Shiro. Chivalry be damned.

The melodramatic pity in her voice does not help, "Poor Hajime, no one's ever taught him that cooties don't exist."

Kuroo does the smart thing and puts the coffee cup down before curling an arm around his stomach and placing a hand on his mouth to try to quell the laughter. Hajime is _not_ standing for this nor does he have any desire to defend himself if he has to repeat the word _cooties_ , a word that should not be in a room containing three adults. Glaring passive-aggressively at the fiendish smile on Shiro, Hajime deadpans, "I'm not dignifying that with a response."

"Oh but you already have." Shiro switches her gaze to Kuroo who had taken a seat while all the mental daggers were being thrown and asks, "Are you afraid of the cooties as well? Do you also require last name basis for precautionary measures?"

"I'm good."

Hajime raises an eyebrow at the quick response just as Shiro's gigantic dog/wolf/fox thing pads through the door and places her titanic head in her owner's lap with a whine. Shiro strokes the fur between her ears.

"Don't worry, Yin, I'm positive Hajime's aggression to women only exists to those of us with a human form."

With the impression that Shiro was just trying to push his buttons, Hajime does not expect the monster dog to look his way with actual teary puppy eyes. The dagger in Shiro's voice does not match her closed-eyed smile. "Isn't that right, Hajime?"

The thing about this family jumbo pack that Shiro came in is that her Do As I Say Or There Will Be Consequences face is triply trigger-happy. Which finds Hajime reluctantly placating a dog the size of a bear at its effect.

How the fuck he had ever been happy about this arrangement was beyond him.

* * *

 

"So what's the verdict on Pretty Boy?"

Tetsurou files into the makeshift infirmary with Shiro's long sigh. She'd just switched the towel lying on Pretty Boy's head with a fresh one and replaced the now bloody-soaked tissues she'd stuffed up his nose. Shiro has done wonders with her magical healing and, compared to the state he'd been in when he and Iwaizumi had rushed him on, Pretty Boy looks to be in perfect health.

Yet a week has passed since those ominous black kanji inked their way onto his skin and he still hasn't woken even once.

"He's… breathing."

Tetsurou winces at that. That doesn't sound particularly good. "Yikes. Anything I can do to help?"

He does not expect his offer of help to be met with a snappish, "You could practice the talisman I gave you and exhibit some of the divine power you must have somewhere in that ozone layer of hair."

Ok, that was uncalled for and just plain mean. This hot potato divine-duty business had not been what Tetsurou had expected. Shiro had refused to let him do anything 'godly' until he had control over his supposedly divine store of magic. The farthest Tetsurou's gotten to unlocking the mage class within him is turning plain donuts into jelly-filled ones. That was still freaking awesome and Shiro could at least not be so prickly about it.

"I'm hurt. I _have_ been practicing, look—"

"Save it. I'm not especially fond of adding another invalid to my nursing duties if you faint from magical misuse."

This conversation is going nowhere Tetsurou would like. Maybe asking Shiro about whatever magic's keeping Pretty Boy from standing on his own two feet would placate her. Learning about curses is a bonus. He steps a little closer and asks, "So why exactly isn't he waking up?"

Shiro presses her lips together before pointing at the winding black kanji looping around Pretty Boy's neck and disappearing into his collarbone. "A curse was placed on him preventing the use of magic both from inside the body and outside of it. The words you see here—contract, bind, prevent— these are typical terms used in curses, hexes or otherwise."

That sounded like your typical magical MMORPG rulebook, and those always have ways of getting rid of the bad stuff. Hopefully, real world magic isn't that far off from the fictional one when it came to curse-removal.

Shiro goes on while Tetsurou collects his thoughts. "The problem with curses is that once they are activated, they are an enormous annoyance to remove. And the problem with this one in particular is that it... it isn't really a curse."

That baffles Tetsurou into his next response without much consequential thought. "What do you mean it's not really a curse? The dude has been knocked out for days."

Shiro shoots him a withering glare. "I could knock _you_ out in fifteen different ways without using magic and you wouldn't even register the fact." She adds something quieter under her breath, "This is why I despise newcomers."

Tetsurou just wants to be able to say one thing without needling Shiro in some way or another. He's usually so much more collected than this. This is just like Rattled High School Boy Kuroo Tetsurou reading Fruits Basket for the first time all over again. "Well _sorry_ for being such a muggle."

And to Tetsurou's greatest surprise, Shiro actually _laughs_ . There are somersaults in his stomach where no somersaults should reside. Shiro's laugh was so… so different. So _not_ the Shiro he's gotten used to these last few days. It's refreshing in a way, to see this normal side of her. Maybe even nice. He should reward himself for this marvelous achievement; a hundred points to Harry Potter Fanboy Kuroo Tetsurou.

"W-well, I suppose we must at least appreciate the fact that you are not a squib." Shiro chuckles at her own joke. Tetsurou deserves some more house points for that. Shiro points to the black kanji again. "Normally, in curses, you use word like 'constraint', 'bind', 'prevent', " She points at each curving word, "Those are the common ones, but here," She points to a kanji a little lighter than the rest, placed almost exactly on the center of Pretty Boy's chest, "You never see the word 'protect' in a curse now do you?"

Even Tetsurou, a muggle in magic, finds that strange. He puts two and two together even before Shiro finishes her explanation, "So I cannot remove it because—"

"You can't remove it because the protect part is preventing you from doing so, right?"

Their eyes meet and Tetsurou almost think he might have crossed a line by interrupting her. But then she smiles and Tetsurou swears he feels a hand clench at his heart.

"You're learning." It has to be illegal to smile that brightly. _Hold your horses, me, it has not even been a week since you've met the girl._

"S-so," Tetsurou coughs; he may be winning in Shiro Brownie Points today but he sure isn't winning anything in smoothness, "There isn't anything you can do?"

"There are." That's a relief. Tetsurou doesn't know this guy much but being in a coma for this long has got to feel horrible. "But I need... things."

Tetsurou blinks owlishly. "What type of things?"

"Things, Tetsurou, Ingredients. Magic things."

Now that sounds _fun_ , "Can I—"

"No," Dammit does Shiro really have to stomp all over his hopes like that? "Is what I would like to say." His head shoots up.

"So I _can_ —"

"Hush, Tetsurou." He shuts up rather quickly when Shiro places a finger over his mouth. "Yes, you may come. I want to acquaint you with some people. However," Shiro says 'however' the same way his mother would when he had to do some boring, studious task before he got what he wanted, "You must acquire Hajime's permission."

With a frown, Tetsurou removes the hand as delicately as possible. "Why do I need to get his permission? Contrary to popular belief, he's _not_ my _guardian_."

Shiro sighs, but this time it's a little less exasperated.

"Because if we go, I need from him to meet someone in my stead."

"So let me get this straight. You and Kuroo are leaving to get some magical voodoo shit and you want me to babysit?"

Tetsurou watches Shiro _melt_ with delight and happily pat Iwaizumi's cheek. "Truly, Hajime, your way with words is the light of my life. A form of demented poetry only you are capable of."

Oh god. Tetsurou is remembering Fourth Grade Iwaizumi's poetry's escapades. He's certainly got over those. The memory never fails to leave Tetsurou in stitches.

Iwaizumi swats Shiro's hand away and his gaze flits to Tetsurou. A moment passes before he breathes, "Can I talk to Kuroo for a minute? In private?"

Shiro smiles. "Of course, Hajime, I'll ready the things you'll need."

"I haven't agreed yet."

"Of course you haven't."

Tetsurou suddenly becomes aware of the tightness in Iwaizumi's frame. Even as Shiro's yukata sleeve disappears around the corner and out of the room Iwaizumi is housing, it isn't until a full minute passes does Iwaizumi speak.

"What the hell, Kuroo."

"What? What'd I do?" For the record, Tetsurou had not done a single wrong ever since they moved in. Before they moved in, however, was another story. He'd done quite a few things better left unknown to Iwaizumi, like draw on his face with magic marker while he was sleeping and send the pictures to Hanamaki. Better left unknown was an understatement in the face of Iwaizumi's fury.

This response does not sit well with Iwaizumi and the hunched shoulders rise a little more.

"Don't play dumb with me— you've been acting like a… a fucking high school girl ever since we moved in here. Have you not noticed?"

The thing is, Tetsurou has noticed. In fact, he's well on the way of admitting that he might have somewhat of a crush on Shiro. But it's just that; something fleeting that will soon disappear and never hinder neither him nor Iwaizumi in any way. It isn't something Tetsurou's going to pursue. However, Tetsurou did not, in any way, like the way Iwaizumi had phrased that.

Iwaizumi brushes off his own questions before Tetsurou can respond. "You know what? Forget that. Aren't you—aren't _we_ being a little too trusting of the spirit?"

Tetsurou gets a little mad from this statement. He's grateful that Iwaizumi didn't single him out but ungrateful for the way he referred to Shiro like some inanimate object. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Iwaizumi places a hand on Tetsurou's shoulder in an attempt to placate him. It doesn't really help. "Sorry, I just—what if she's lying about Kenma?" That took a turn Tetsurou wasn't prepared for. What was Iwaizumi trying to even get at? "What if she's making the whole thing up? We don't know shit about any of this, Kuroo, let alone her. Shouldn't we—"

"Stop." Tetsurou shoves Iwaizumi's hand away and grinds his teeth. The anger rolls off Tetsurou in waves. He's never been quite this mad at Iwaizumi in his life. Shiro, lying to them about Kenma? Lying about everything for some twisted reason Iwaizumi thinks exists? No, that's not it. Kuroo knows Iwaizumi. It's not that he thinks that Shiro is lying, that's not what he's getting at.

It's that he thinks Kenma is dead and he doesn't want Tetsurou to delude himself. Because, apparently, Iwaizumi thinks Tetsurou can't take it.

"Listen, I just think we should get to know the woman a little before we put our trust in her and make assumptions—"

"Six years, fourteen weeks and a day." Tetsurou fists his hand hard, nearly drawing blood. Iwaizumi eyes him with concern and confusion. "I haven't seen or heard anything about Kenma in six years, fourteen weeks and a day and when I finally, _finally_ get a fucking lead, when someone was kind enough to give me hope, to give me a clue that he might still be alive, the same exact person who gave us a place to stay in when our old one burned to the ground, the same person who is Kenma's only family—you want me to throw it all away because you think she might be untrustworthy and lying."

What would Shiro even gain from lying to them? Some twisted sort of humor of watching their hopes raise then crumble when she finally broke the news? Is that what Iwaiuzmi's afraid of? That not finding Kenma again will break him?

What Iwaizumi doesn't know is that Kuroo's already broken. He lost his best friend; his family; _his brother_. If that didn't break him, if that wasn't enough of a reason, wasn't worth tearing himself up into pieces on the inside, then what was?

Iwaizumi frowns. "I didn't say that, don't be stupid—"

"Oh you said enough, trust me." Tetsurou shoves his hands and exits Iwaizumi's room. He doesn't have time for this—he needs to learn more about magic and gods and power and maybe even ways to track lost deities. He ignores Iwaizumi calling his name and he has to will himself to ignore the last statement.

"I'm the one who fucking gave you the paper to find the shrine in the first place!"

* * *

 

Shiro gives Hajime all the necessary items and information he needs plus one unnecessary confused glance Kuroo's way and back before throwing a lavender backpack at said boy and leaving with his arm in tow.

Hajime gives himself exactly one moment of silence before he violently riffles his hair and groans. _Smooth, Hajime, real smooth._ How the hell did this even happen? One minute he's trying to remind his friend to exercise caution, just until they were sure Shiro could be trusted and the next Kuroo's furious and practically slamming the metaphorical door in Hajime's face.

Hajime swears he wants to find Kenma just as much as Kuroo. But he also wants to do it smartly, objectively. Finding Shiro just seemed too good to be true in Hajime's books. Sure it placed a few puzzle pieces into place and explained a lot but know they were playing with forces they had no idea if they could handle. He just wanted Kuroo to be more careful, more hesitant, just in case they don't find Kenma—in case Kenma is—

It occurs to Hajime that reasoning might have been why Kuroo slammed the door in his face. Kuroo had seen through him even before Hajime could see through himself. He wanted Kuroo to be prepared for the one thing that Kuroo kept away so he couldn't lose hope; he'd almost nearly told Kuroo, his best friend, to give up on his own best friend.

Hajime very nearly pulls his hair out if not for a ring from his phone.

He plops into a desk chair, remembers _'the same person who gave us a place to stay in when our old one burned to the ground_ ' and rests his face into his palms with another groan. A grope for his phone later, he reads the text notification and contemplates throwing the stupid device out the window.

**_Matuskawa Issei_ **

_Heads up. Suga and Yakkun coming for surprise visit next Friday. You've been warned._

* * *

 

The Youkai's Garble is the raddest market Tetsurou's ever been to. It's exactly like a piece right out of Medieval Japan slapped onto the earth in the most unorthodox way. Tetsurou's still not sure how he got here: one minute they were walking down the streets of Miyagi Center Mall and the next Shiro pushes him sideways and they're suddenly surrounded by stalls and gimmicks and unordinary folk. Tetsurou loves those the best. Shiro had shown him some magic before to prove her point but actually seeing two twin ogres haggling down a kitsune for a spiked club was a real deal-maker.

"You're staring. Don't be rude." Shiro unceremoniously dumps the backpack Tetsurou had unconsciously dropped into his arms and pulls at his sleeve to follow her. Tetsurou lets her drag around corners and stalls while his eyes shimmer and bulge with ever new addition to his magical dictionary. He very nearly walks up to a stall claiming to sell magic beans if Shiro hadn't pulled him away.

"Where are we going? You haven't stopped anywhere to buy anything yet." Tetsurou finally asks. He's not sure what's going to go into whatever potion or spell or charm Shiro thinks will cure the comatose guy but he really hopes it involves dragon parts.

"I want to make a stop somewhere first— there." Shiro drags Tetsurou through a crowd of people cheering on a dancing wyvern (Tetsurou wants one of those) to a plain looking stall with a very bored, round-faced, brown-haired woman sitting opposite the counter. She seems as bored as Tetsurou was during Japanese history class in high-school. Although, Tetsurou has never donned that much surprise at the prospect of a historical pop quiz in contrast to previously bored girl who's now shell-shocked at the sight of Shiro.

"Chi?"

 _Chi?_ Tetsurou looks between Shocked Girl and Shiro and sure enough Shocked Girl is addressing Shiro. Somewhere in his heart, there's a part of his subconscious squealing at the sound of Shiro's name. He's not sure if that's really her name or just another play on her real name but that doesn't really matter to him. The chime it leaves as he mouths the name is almost cute. That thought, though, is forgotten as Shocked Girl literally squeals and nearly tumbles into Tetsurou before embracing Shiro in a tight hug

"I haven't seen you in forever!" The girl exclaims, "Where have you been?!"

The next moment Tetsurou records into his heart because he has the great pleasure of seeing Shiro, Sassier Than Matsukawa On A Bad Day Shiro, _embarrassed_. He doesn't even just record it, he burns the image of her flushed face into his heartstrings. Man, he's never really crushed this fierce in his life. It's frankly embarrassing. Maybe he should talk to someone about it, definitely not Iwaizumi 'I think Kenma is dead' Hajime. Tetsurou knows he's being a little harsh and he's usually so much more open-minded than this but when it comes to Kenma he just—

"Tetsurou." A pinch at his side makes him yelp.

Shiro eyes him with disdain which flickers to concern for a moment then back to disdain as she says, "While you were frolicking in the great abyss that is your mind," _Ouch_ , "I was trying to introduce you to one of my acquaintances—"

" _Chi_ , we've known each other for years, we've already bypassed the level of acquaintances a million times!" Tetsurou really likes this new girl. She elicits really adoring reactions from Shiro that are actually nice and cute, unlike anything that he's ever tried to pull.

(Well, there was that time when he made her smile, but that was Shiny Vespiquen Ultra Rare.)

Shiro looks a little taken aback from this, a reaction you'd get from someone who wasn't used to calling people friends or someone who wasn't used to excitable people. It vanishes quickly, almost like it was never there. Tetsurou is left part confused and part saddened at that.

"Alright, this is my friend." Shiro shares a glance at her friend when she says this and said friend beams back. "Her name is Michimiya Yui." Shiro gestures to Tetsurou. "Yui, this is Kuroo Tetsurou." And this time, Shiro's expression really does fall, and Tetsurou is now concerned. "The new deity of Kozume Shrine."

Michimiya, who Tetsurou notes has been trading thousand watt smiles and simpers the entire exchange, the same person who looks like she hasn't seen a dull day in her life, frowns so fast Tetsurou doubts he'll ever see her smile again. Her expression just falls and drops and seems like it will never see the light of day ever again.

"Oh," she says. Michimiya looks absolutely torn, squeezing the hem of her hakama, not sure if she should say what's brewing behind her brows. In the end, she asks, "You... you never found him?"

Bells ring in Tetsurou's head. _Him_.

They're talking about Kenma.

Tetsurou, ever so slowly, glances in Shiro's direction. She doesn't look torn. She doesn't seem sad or worried or depressed. She doesn't appear heartbroken or hopeless or broken (like Tetsurou once upon a time had been, _still_ is).

Instead of all that, Shiro is the epitome of determination.

"No, I have not found him," Shiro announces. Tetsurou has never respected someone so much in his life; has never felt so grateful for someone who has no hesitation or doubt in their voice nor features. He likes this woman and with her next cinematic words, he's not sure he's ready to let her go just yet.

"But I _will_ find him."

* * *

 

The day just gets worse when two people who are supposed to be his stupid, ignorant, twenty five percent endearing and seventy percent pain in the ass kouhai show up in the shrine in place of the two werewolves who have supposedly lost their supply of wolfsbane that helps them control their wolf form which is otherwise untamable.

The day is the absolute worst when Hajime finds out that Haiba Lev and Kyoutani Kentarou are not only his stupid, ignorant, twenty five percent endearing and seventy percent pain in the asses' kouhai but they're stupid werewolves too.

If Hajime listens really hard, he's sure he can hear someone give karma a round of applause.

"Iwaizumi-san, you were actually a _god_ this whole time?" Stupid Werewolf Kouhai #1 asks in wonder.

Stupid Werewolf Kouhai #2 slaps the back of #1's head and says gruffly, "No stupid, does he fucking smell like a god to you?" Though by the contorted way Stupid Werewolf Kouhai #2's face crunches up, even _he's_ confused.

Hajime takes in a very deep breath then exhales. _Fuck_ Shiro.

"So," Hajime begins. This is going to be one hell of a pain in the ass to get to a workable point and Hajime, being the sensible senpai, is the only one here with the necessary skill set to do so. He leads his stupid kouhai through the long wooden corridor overseeing the side garden into the dining room, "You two... are werewolves."

After stating such, Hajime feels it's a little accusatory, but at this point in time, Hajime frankly doesn't give two fucks.

Kyoutani stiffens up a bit from where he's kneeling by the main wooden table and next to him Haiba answers with a cheer in his voice, "Yup!"

Hajime busies himself by making tea while he muses over his next question. What the hell is he even supposed to ask? Is he supposed to ask? Should he be asking questions? Hajime's brain is practically fried at this stage. One more bizarre encounter or coincidence is going to completely deplete whatever energy he has left in his I Can Deal With This Much Shit supply. Because his mind is in The Meme Team Are Reunited Take Cover mode, he asks the most irrelevant of questions.

"Gods have different— _smells?_ "

Oh how Hajime is spent. The possibly even worse thing than finding out his two stupid kouhai are magically involved is remembering that less than a fucking week ago, his biggest worry was how Kuroo and him were going to pay their monthly rent, which was possibly the only silver lining of the apartment's fiery demise.

Haiba answers his question with glee. Why was this kid always so damn energetic? "Yeah~! Each and every god has a unique smell! Kenma-san used to smell like pears!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Hajime sees Kyotani roughly shove Haiba in what was supposed to be a discreet elbowing but turned into a pile of Russian limbs on the wooden planks of floor. Hajime has gotten a little more used to mentions of Kenma these past few days in the paranormal world but there is an added grip to the spoon he's using stir the tea that is certainly not from shock. Mentions of Kenma these past few days leave a bitter taste in his mouth containing a dash of sorrow, a pinch of worry, some spicy anger and a whole lot of hurt. According to Kuroo, Kenma has been living this second life ever since he was a child, with not a single mention to one of his friends. Hajime partly understands why he hadn't said anything, it was a whole lot to take it but he still feels hurt. Kenma had kept this from them for years and if he hadn't found that postcard, they would have never known anything. They'd all have attended his funeral in a few months knowing _nothing_.

And where the actual fuck was he? The most important part of this whole entire equation is as undefined as an unsolvable math problem.

"So you don't know where Kenma is either, huh?" Hajime asks bitterly. He sets two cups of tea in front of his kouhai and plops down on the floor across from them, sipping his own cup.

Kyoutani shifts and thanks Hajime under his breath before taking a sip then saying, "No."

"But Shiro-san said she'll find him and she _never_ breaks her promises." Haiba chirps in, beaming at Hajime. His smile radiates so much confidence that's not even of himself that Hajime can't help but stare. He wants to think that that's a whole lot of bull. If the police couldn't find Kenma than how could some crazy woman ever hope to? If the same crazy woman who had magic and magic items and magic power couldn't find a trace of him in the past six years, fourteen weeks and a day, how could anyone find him?

Hajime wants to think that way. He wants to give up. He wants to stop worrying. He wants to stop _doubting_ . But more important than Hajime's selfish desire is his friendship with Kuroo. Hajime never, ever, _ever_ wants to lose anyone ever again.

Just as he's about to ask Kyoutani how long they had been acquainted with Magic Kenma, how long they've been werewolves, tell them when Shiro'd be back or whatever Hajime was planning to say, a literal bolt of lightning strikes the dining table.

Hajime's thrown backward onto his back. Haiba is 'ooing' and 'awing' excitedly and when Hajime lifts his aching head. There's a fourth person in the room that isn't a ruffled Kyoutani.

Correction: there is a douchebag who just broke the dining table and Hajime has never been so done in his life.

* * *

 

It's safe to say that Yui is excited.

She hasn't seen Chi ever since Kenma disappeared and, despite the depressing truth that led up to Chi's visit, Yui is just happy to see a female friend again.

Yui is quite literally surrounded by an abundance of masculine hormones that range from snarky, sarcastic assholes (read: her boss) to soppy, alcohol-addicted, wyvern betting morons (also read as: her boss). There are a few beautiful female friendships here that she's established over the years but they're never enough.

It's not that Yui hates the male species. She does have great male friendships from business and other transactions. She just prefers people who can relate to her and her problems which she finds more in female friendships than in the male ones.

So yes, despite literally everything, she's happy to be reunited with a good friend.

"So, Chi, tell me! How have you been these past few years? You never called or anything!" Yui lightly punches Chi's arm while simultaneously trying to hold in the urge to bombard her with a million and one questions. Maybe saying she is excited is a bit of an understatement; Yui is downright _ecstatic_. Although, that doesn't mean she isn't a little mad her friend has been outright ignoring her for the past six years so when her question causes a little twitch in Chi's brow and a mild-pause in her step, Yui considers her anger dealt with.

"I've been well." Is all she says. Yui's lips loosen up a bit from her previous face-splitting smile. They're still walking on the bare, feet-ridden road of the market distract, still a ways from the residential area and a surreptitious glance behind her tells Yui their awe-struck tag-a-long of a new god is keeping a respectable distance for privacy. Or he's too busy being gobsmacked with the peculiar market to notice how far they've walked without him. Either way, Yui can use this.

Before she asks anything more however, Chi asks her a question, "How is he?"

It takes a moment for it to click who Chi means by 'he'. A lot of things cross Yui's mind when thinking about the welfare of her boss, particularly his latest dab in alcoholism. Yui is beside herself with worry about him. He was already foul-mouthed and snarky to begin with. With the added addition of alcohol, he's started refusing customers. Yui has to admit that most of her excitement from seeing Chi wasn't only the release from melancholy of an old friend but also because Yui is sure that Chi is the only one left who can help the idiot out of the trench he's dug himself into.

"Bad." Yui finally replies. If Chi is the only who can help him, then Yui will do everything to get her there. Even if it means she has to play a little concealment spell on their oblivious tag-a-long—

"No." Chi's hand is on her wrist. Yui excepts to find a grim expression on her face but instead she finds determination, the same determination she'd seen on her face when Chi said she'd find Kenma. Yui feels a little bubble of happiness and relief at that. Chi walks back a few steps and snags Kuroo's wrist. She pulls him along until they stand beside Yui.

"While I go see Kenji, I need you to grab a few things for me. Take this one with you."

At that, Kuroo's head whips around to face Chi so fast, Yui is afraid his neck will break. "Wait, where are you going? And who's this _Kenji_ —"

"Hush." Yui finds it a little adorable how quickly Kuroo's mouth shuts closed when Chi places a finger to his lips. Chi turns to her. "I need some crushed dragon scales and a bottle of lethe water."

Yui quickly forgoes the urge to wink at Kuroo and _stares_ at Chi. "You need a _whole_ bottle of lethe water? What for?" A whole bottle could potentially wipe a person's entire memory, leaving a slate as clean a newborn baby's. Why did Chi need an entire bottle of the stuff?

Something rather terrible crosses Yui's mind at that.

"I don't need a whole bottle, I _want_ a whole bottle. You know how Kamasaki likes to scam the masses; claiming his intention for the greater good—" Chi scrunches up her nose in distaste. The terrible thought Yui had earlier has lodged itself in her throat. She wants to dismiss it, brush it off and remember Shiro's conviction from before. But what if... what if— "—which is a lot of absolute bull in my opinion; just a way for him to get more business is all it really is—Yui?"

Yui shakes her head to rid her thoughts. She's overthinking it, Futakuchi always said she overthought things. She smiles blithely at Chi's concern. "Of course! I totally agree with you on the Kamasaki thing too! He's such a gold digger you'd think he's actually half-leprechaun!" Yui turns to a confused Kuroo as Chi hides a chortle behind her hand. "Come on, Kuroo-kun, let's get moving."

"Wait." Kuroo stays rooted to the floor even as Yui tries to pull him away by the elbow. "I'm sure Michimiya-san can handle herself. And who's _Kenji_ —"

Now this is a time for Yui's secret specialty to shine. She's been undergoing Futakuchi's hard teaching in shamanism for the past ten years to perfect this skill. She pulls Kuroo down and whispers, "I'm an expert when it comes to fortune-telling, especially in love."

Kuroo eyes her, peers at Chi's already retreating form then sighs. "Ok you got me. But I still want to know who the hell this Kenji dude is."

Yui smiles. She likes this one.

* * *

 

"Ok, who the fuck are you?"

Well, Hajime's actually more concerned about the broken dining table than the foreign douchebag who broke it. He's not sure how Shiro deals with broken things but judging how his mom explodes when a plate is smashed, he's understandably worried. Maybe he should duke the guy. But then he'd have get out of the restraining hold Kyoutani has on his arms when he'd tried to punch the asshole before and he doesn't want to hurt the kid.

"Wow, _rude_." This Century #1 Asshole claims with a grin. The asshole is sitting in the ruins of the dining table like he owns the damn thing and completely disregards Hajime's question. Rude Hajime's ass.

Haiba appears even more ecstatic than usual (which is really something, considering the kid acts like he's in a sugar high on a regular basis). " _Yuuji-san!_ "

The asshole with a name now blinks up at the monstrosity that is Haiba Lev. It takes a second before Hajime sees realization fill Yuuji's features as his eyes flit between Haiba and Kyoutani a few times. "The wolf kids?" Terushima blinks even more owlishly at Haiba and points. " _Lev?_ "

That seems to break any self-control Haiba might have had as he leaps on Yuuji. Hajime allows himself a smirk at Yuuji's fearful face. If a two-metered man jumped at him, Hajime probably would have been scared too. After punching said two-metered man in the face though. The continued demolition of the dining table, however, was not on Hajime's revenge agenda.

After a few groans from the men on the floor, Kyoutani deems it appropriate to release Hajime. In turn, Hajime thanks him and Kyoutani grunts in reply.

"Jesus, Lev, what do you _eat_?" Yuuji asks with an 'oof' as Haiba gets off him.

A gasp leaves Haiba before he gets up, along with a protest of, "You can't say that Yuuji-san! You're way better than that Jesus guy any day!"

Yuuji grabs Haiba's outstretched hand, blinks and then explodes into a fit of laughter of his own and ruffles Haiba's hair. "Shit, sorry. The Americans got me talking their ways. How've you been, big guy?"

Hajime is not only astounded at the fact that this guy is potentially a god but also at the phenomenon of Kyoutani Kentarou smiling (even if it is minuscule and more of a smirk than a simper but _still_ ). Yuuji finishes reconciling with Haiba and turns on Kyoutani. "Ken! Kenny Boy! Ken the ten! How've you been?"

The smile disappears as fast as it appeared. "Don't fucking call me that." Even though there's malice in his face and his words, Kyoutani lets Yuuji hang off of him. Kyoutani _never_ lets anyone hang off of him. Who the fuck _is_ this guy?

Haiba seems to hear his inner turmoil as he takes the chance to introduce him. "Iwaizumi-san, this is the Narukami, Terushima Yuuji-san," Wow, Hajime almost pissed off a thunder god who could fry him on the spot. Joy. Haiba hasn't finished though and Hajime swears the kid is shaking with excitement. "He's the one who saved us when we were kids! Isn't he awesome?!"

Hajime not sure what Yu— Terushima saved Kyoutani and Haiba from but if he saved them that maybe he isn't as bad a guy as Hajime initially had thought. There's still the matter of the broken dining table.

"Ok, this reunion is nice and all but we need to fix this table before Shiro comes back and murders us all." Hajime points to Terushima. "You're a god right? Can you magic this back or something?"

"Iwaizumi-san, don't be rude!" Haiba gasps. Kyoutani grunts in affirmative. Hajime's sorry he didn't get the manual on How To Deal With Gods Asshole Edition but they still have to fix the table somehow.

Despite the supposed rudeness, Terushima brushes it off rather quickly. "Don't worry about it," He then turns to Hajime, "You're new, aren't you? And what did you mean by 'before Shiro comes back'? She ain't here?"

If she was here, Hajime would still be in bed, lamenting his and Kuroo's next plan of action, not stuck babysitting two werewolves and being called out for rudeness. "Yeah, I'm new. No, she isn't."

"Know when she's coming back?"

If Hajime knew Terushima better, he'd say there was something anxious in the way he stood, something impatient in his facial expression. But Hajime didn't know Terushima so he couldn't be sure. "I'm not sure. She said she'd be back in the afternoon. Don't know when exactly. You can come back then."

"No, you can stay here until she comes back!" Haiba pipes in. Hajime glares at him but Haiba doesn't seem notice. "And you can tell Iwaizumi-san about the dragon story!"

Hajime notices how Terushima looks a little caught off guard at Haiba's request before letting a fond smile grace his lips. "You still remember that?"

"Of course I do! It was so cool how you—"

Hajime actually gets a little interested in the story of grandeur. On a good day, he might have enjoyed listening to a story about dragons and fighting and magic and the truth of it all. But today was supposed to be his day off and Hajime is just suddenly so _tired_. Dragons are real and Terushima somehow blindsided one with the edge of a hammer. Kyoutani and Haiba are werewolves. Kuroo is supposedly god. Kenma is still missing. And Hajime is... Hajime isn't much of anything really. The only contribution he's made to any of this was finding the piece of paper at the library and that must have been just luck. He's not suited to deal with any of this stuff—magic, emotions or otherwise.

He yawns. The sleepiness has suddenly multiplied tenfold and he finds himself struggling to stay awake. He needs to clean the kitchen before Shiro comes back and commits a homicide. He can't fall asleep. There isn't anywhere he can just rest either with all the broken bits and pieces scattered across the wooden floorboards.

And yet Hajime finds himself falling to his knees and nodding off.


	3. Chapter Three: In which Futakuchi Kenji and Terushima Yuuji unknowingly find middle ground on the pros and cons of stealing first base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three guesses as to who didn't show up this chapter

**Bonds of Descendants**

* * *

 

Chapter Three: In which Futakuchi Kenji and Terushima Yuuji unknowingly find middle ground on the pros and cons of stealing first base

* * *

 

Kenji, with a mind sober enough to think himself into a way of making Shiro shut up, but not at all sober enough to think of the existential danger he would put himself in by exhibiting said idea, decides that the best way to stop Shiro from harping her head off is to physically stop her by any means necessary.

There may have been the slightest sadistic glee with the way her face went completely blank for a moment, but he'd already prepaid his trip on the train of regrettable decisions, and Shiro, being way too efficient in making various types of pies, would make sure he'd get there on time.

However, he does not, in the least degree, deserve both the rattling ache in his cheek from her cheap bitch-slap,  _ and _ the excruciating pain radiating from his skull when he'd gone flying from the force of her strike, hitting the back of his head on the coffee table. Maybe he hadn't exactly flown, but he'd at least glided momentarily.

"Never got the memo that I was demoted to personal whipping post," he groans. Sprawled in the space between the dark wooden coffee table and chocolate leather sofa, Kenji laces his fingers behind his head and presses in a feeble endeavor to assuage the torment there. Keyword here being feeble.

"I do not remotely comprehend how you are in this hangover state at this hour," Shiro implores, voice first far then closer with each word. With the end of her You Are More Worthless Than A Gae Bolg scorn, something freezing, wet, and disgusting splatters against Kenji's face and chest, and, while he's sputtering, he's sloshed with another round of bone-chilling water.

"Could you— _ stop _ ." It was already too humid for comfort, and being drenched just tallied the damp effect to an unbearable level. He can't even use the drunkenness to chase away the feeling because it's practically gone now. Shiro must have mixed some purifying salt in the water.

Kenji does not at all deserve any of this.

"I strongly feel you require more of this. However, for now, I will cease my efforts.  _ Up _ ." She unceremoniously tugs into a sitting position, then sits  _ behind _ him and takes a towel to his hair. Kenji has to slant forward so he isn't leaning against her legs. A moment of furious towel-drying passes.

"Could you stop pretending everything is normal?"

Despite the accusation, the fingers in his hair don't slow. Her response, however, is a beat slower than the usual Holier Than Thou Shiro he's used to.

"Will you finish feigning it is not?"

The hands on the side of his hand fight against the movement when Kenji strains to turn, so he settles for a sharp, incredulous tone of voice as he snaps, "You think I'm  _ pretending _ to mourn?"

Kenji doesn't understand if the pursuing silence is a wordless affirmation or a negating one. The pressuring fingers still haven't left his skull, but their movements have marginally slowed.

"I... wasn't speaking of Takanobu." The name is an ache in his chest more than the dumbstruck shock of Shiro actually hesitating . "I hadn't... I had thought—"

"Can you spit out whatever you want to say? Some people actually have work to do."

"I had thought if I shattered your heart completely, you would have more initiative to be better."

Kenji blinks about three thousand times. " _ Hunh? _ "

"It was a miscalculation on my part," Shiro immediately enunciates. Kenji is still blown over by the implications of what she seems to have revealed. Over his years of acquaintance with her, he'd become increasingly aware of the fact Shiro was— _ is _ —completely shit when it came to dealing with emotions. It's been years since they've known each other, and, to this day, he still gets thrown over by the datum.

She's saying other things ("I do not wish for acceptance. I merely desired of you to understand—"), but his mind is too stupefied to even begin to attempt to register anything she has to say on the matter.

"Are you—" _stupid?_ he almost says, but he catches himself, "No, wait, _you_ _are_." His head is thrown back into her lap as he bursts out laughing, much to her complete mortification. That only serves to throw him further into a giggle fit and push all her buttons. However, she must still count herself in apologizing mode since she doesn't try to strangle or move him.

He is still mad at her. Being shit at something isn't really much of an excuse for breaking someone's heart. However, he does have to concede that him not explicitly saying anything about her six years of supposedly giving him space was also stupid.

So they're both idiots. He can live with that.

* * *

 

Tetsurou is not at all prepared for the three tiny cat-eared children he'd been making weird faces at to be the, as Michimiya had helpfully put it, 'go-to for all dragon parts, inside and out'. Even after witnessing the twenty minute haggle session that had taken place between the three squirts and the grown woman, he'd still been incredulous about the whole affair when they'd cheerily handed over the sack of crushed dragon scales after Michimiya had promised playtime with Shiro's daimon and a petting session on top of the bag of gems she'd already given them.

"This lady sure knows her stuff, onii-chan!" one of them had told him with the cutesiest most adorable voice ever. Completely unconsciously, Tetsurou pats her head and grins something big. Before he can even try to remind himself that these probably aren't children, another one comes over and adamantly requests a pat too. Tetsurou is then laughing along with two giggling cat babies as their even tinier brother scolds them all for not upholding proper work etiquette.

After that's regrettably over, Tetsurou is back to walking side-by-side with Michimiya through the magical market district. Its novelty is not lost on him. He's still keeling from how this entire world existed right under all their noses. He's still isn't sure if his shock is spurred more from the  _ oh my god magic is real _ aspect or the  _ I can't believe Kozume Kenma was living a double life _ side of the spectrum. He's surprised at himself by how well he's taken all this in stride, enough even that he's already battling his own spectrophilia problem. Finding out the identity of the mysterious Kenji should not be higher priority than taking picture evidence back to Iwaizumi, yet his mind-to-mouth filter has other plans.

" _ So _ ," Tetsurou clears his throat and focuses on the almost inaudible sound of his steps against the earthy path between the stalls, "Michimiya—"

"Futakuchi Kenji is Chi's ex."

Tetsurou fucking knew it. He sighs heavily. It's just his luck for his crush to go running to her ex's side the moment Tetsurou considers pursuing her. He was barely recovered from the discovery that  _ he has a crus _ ' and now he has to give up before the starting line. He's  _ so _ blaming Iwaizumi for this one. He must have spited him somehow.

The light laugh at his side has him focused back on Michimiya. There's a big fat smile on her face like she's just learned the juiciest of secrets, and he feels a bit put on the spot when she says, "You don't have to look so defeated, Kuroo-kun. I think you have a good chance. Futakuchi's a real asshole."

He's getting a bit blushy at getting all this shoved in his face all at once. He's not used to people reading him so well. It's usually the other way around, and that's the way Tetsurou likes it best. As they wave through denser crowds, he tries a subtle topic change.

"So... love fortunes?"

Kaname is worried.

He recognizes that their best bet at helping Futakuchi is enlisting Shiro's help. Anything that could potentially help Futakuchi out of his rabbit hole (in less ways than others), including a Not So Delicate Sometimes Quite Cruel woman, is something Kaname is willing to try. He  _ hates _ seeing Futakuchi like this; broken and wasting away his life for something nobody could have prevented. Kaname is just as sad for Aone's death as Futakuchi is, but Kaname knows that Aone would never want them to waste away lamenting over what could have been done. Sometimes, even he can't stop thinking about it, and wants nothing barring a wallow in the sadness of it all. But then Kamachi smacks his back hard and shakes him out of it.

_ "He would have wanted us to move on. You know that." _ And that thought was always enough to keep Kaname going.

But Kaname is still worried. His hands are clammy as he wrings them together and his long ears twitch sporadically. Shiro isn't exactly the most subtle of people (or at all). And they both know quite a bit of magic. They could get hurt if things get out of hand.  _ And _ —

"I t-think I'll go check on them—"

" _ Moniwa _ ." Kamachi grabs his arm before he can rush off and seats him back down behind the booth. "Shiro can take care of this better than we ever could. Let her work her bitchy magic."

"I know she can handle it, it's just—" Kaname isn't in favor of talking about people behind their backs. He sometimes convinces himself it isn't really talking bad about someone when you're just stating facts. But he doesn't know how else to assuage his worries  _ without _ talking and he's never been really good at convincing people either. "Shiro isn't exactly the most—" He struggles with the proper word ''— _ gentle _ of people and—"

"Moniwa," Kamasaki interrupts him before he can finish his thought. Kaname doesn't take too much too interrupting either but he finds that sometimes letting his friends interrupt him is better than him stating something negative that will only increase his worries. "You've already  _ tried _ gentle. Just let Shiro play the bad cop for once."

That only helps Kaname become even more worried. He admits that Futakuchi might need some sort of tough love, but Shiro and Kamasaki's definition of 'tough love' isn't exactly just...  _ tough _ .

"I'll bet 10 human bucks Futakuchi's going to end up with a slap mark."

" _ Kamachi _ !"

"Hey, Kamasaki. Hello, Moniwa-san."

Kaname is halted in his process of reprimanding Kamasaki when Michimiya and a guy with a really bad case of bed hair hefting a purple backpack come marching up to their booth. Kamasaki clicks his tongue and scowls. "Dammit, the haggler's back."

Michimiya leans forward and punches Kamasaki in the arm. His friend winces and even he can tell that punch hadn't exactly been light. He also sees Bad Bed hair Guy wince. Kaname is safe to assume he'd been on the receiving end of one of those punches once upon a time.

"It's great to see you too, Kamasaki." Michimiya grins, teeth shining. "I need a whole bottle of lethe water."

For the first time this evening, Kaname forgets about Futakuchi and dragons. He's never heard of someone needing an entire  _ bottle _ of lethe water. Those waters are dangerous to have lying around. Even just a small flask can be dangerous at times. Why would anyone, especially Michimiya, need a whole bottle of such a thing?

Kamachi voices his thoughts for him, albeit less delicately, "Why the fuck do you need a whole bottle of hell water? You tryin' to forget a boyfriend?"

"It's not  _ me _ who needs it." Michimiya twists her knuckles into Kamachii's arm. Kaname is sure that hurt. Michimiya retracts her fist and Kamasaki is left clicking his tongue and rubbing his poor arm. "Chi's the one who needs the bottle."

"Why the ever loving fuck does she…" Kamasaki stops mid-sentence and stares at Crazy Bed head. He sniffs the air and goes as far as walking around the booth and sniffing the confused man. Kaname doesn't have the same sense of smell gozu have, and it's making him increasingly worried.

Kamasaki gives the Poor Continuously Confused man a few more whiffs before straightening up suddenly, alarmed and rounding on Michimiya.

"She never found the kid?" Kamasaki asks, his voice gruff, astonished,  _ alarmed _ and suddenly Kaname understands.

Michimiya shakes her head. She gestures to Crazy Bedhead and this time Kaname can see the sadness of understanding in the hard lines of his face. Kaname can barely believe that Shiro, whose skill in magical dowsing is second to none, couldn't even find a trace of Kozume Kenma.

"This is Kuroo Tetsurou, the new deity of Kozume Shrine," Michimiya declares before facing Kamasaki. "And I need you to give me the most watered down bottle of lethe water you have."

Tetsurou might be new to all this but there are some things any boy with Internet connection knows.

Tetsurou's dabbed quite a bit in different mythologies on Wikipedia and read as fair share of fantasy novels. He'd never actually thought that all the information he had learnt from his lost nights of sleep would ever be useful to him in finding Kenma or learning more about Shiro and now he's never been this glad in his life he has helpful information.

In other words, Tetsurou knows exactly what lethe water is and he's also given himself three guesses (the first two don't count) as to why Michimiya, Kamasaki and Moniwa are worried.

The unexpected emotion he comes to associate with the situation though, is anger. He's known Shiro for a week and, if Tetsurou speculations are true, these people have known her for years. In Tetsurou's week-long acquaintanceship, he knows for a fact that Shiro would never, in a million years, use lethe water to forget about Kenma. He's seen how much she cares about him and the type of caring is not the type who would grieve; it's the type that will take Shiro to the ends of the earth to find Kenma.

And god _ damn _ does Tetsurou admire it.

When Kamasaki pulls out a bunch of different water bottles and a bowl and Moniwa frets over him to be careful and Michimiya watches with a stealthy eye, Tetsurou says, "I don't think this is necessary."

"Yeah and I don't think a newbie's opinion is necessary either so back off, kid." Kamasaki snaps, pouring liquid in the silver bowl.

Michimiya sends him a worried glance. "Kuroo-kun, you don't understand. Lethe water is—"

"And it's what people use to erase their memories, right?" Michimiya turns away from Kamasaki's pouring and gives a him a good long look before nodding. Tetsurou feels that acquiring her attention gives him more courage. "Do you really think Shiro is going to use this to forget about Kenma?"

"Listen, kid." Kamasaki puts down the water bottle he was holding with a slam. Moniwa's face is etched with worry but Tetsurou is going to hold his ground. Even if those horns could probably impale him in a split second, "If Shiro hasn't found Kenma yet then that means he's probably dead."

"Kamasaki!" Moniwa gapes in horror. Michimiya also glares heatedly at him. Tetsurou is grateful that they expressed his opinion for him. However Kamasaki goes on, "What? Listen Shiro has been looking for the kid for the past seven years,"  _ Six years, fourteen weeks and a day,  _ Tetsurou corrects in his head. "If she hasn't found him yet and she's asking for a who bottle of something that can make you forget a big fucking chunk of your life, I think it's safe to say she's given up."

Tetsurou knows Kamasaki hadn't seen Shiro when she'd declared she find Kenma; he knows but he's still angry. That was not the voice of someone giving up; that was not the face of someone losing hope; that was certainly not the person who would rather forget than to fight. But Tetsurou remembers something else—a stronger argument.

"Shiro needs this to remove a curse." And, rather abruptly, all eyes are on him.

"A curse?" Moniwa asks. Tetsurou looks at him and nods. He seems the most sensible person here and maybe if Tetsurou had him on his side, he'd be able to win this argument and help Shiro out. "She said she needed some things to cure it because it wasn't a normal curse."

"Oh really?" Kamasaki crosses his arms. "And what kind of curse is this?"

Tetsurou has no idea there were  _ types _ of curses. He's a thread away from making anything up when the person in question herself voices dramatically, "Oh look, Kenji. Kamasaki isn't even being subtle anymore. He's watering down my lethe water for all the public to see. How scandalous."

"Kamasaki-san, we get that you're desperate, but this is not how you impress the ladies."

Tetsurou is prepared to turn around and stare down  _ Futakuchi Kenji  _ into submission, but when he does turn around all he sees is a tall, brown-tufted guy with a slap mark on his right cheek and red puffed up eyes like the poor dude's been crying.

And Tetsurou wants to hate him but then Kamasaki and Michimiya burst out laughing and Tetsurou just feels sorry for the guy.

"Oh my god, look at his eyes!" Kamasaki is slapping his thighs and chortling. Michimiya bursts into a new fit of giggles at that. Moniwa seems to be the only one actively concerned, fretting over the shmuck like a newborn babe.

"Are you alright? Do you need water? Ice? God, look at your face.  _ Shiro _ , what did you do to him?"

"The necessary." Shiro side eyes Futakuchi and raises her eyebrows. "Don't you have something you need to say, Kenji?"

And Tetsurou really can't bring himself to hate this dude at all when he bows low to Moniwa and apologizes. Sure Tetsurou doesn't know what exactly he's apologizing for but giving the way Moniwa is fretting and trying to hold back a smile and tears, Tetsurou sure it's meaningful.

As Futakuchi switches his bowing to Kamasaki, Shiro snatches away one of the bottles on the white table cloth. "I'll be taking this." And then she proceeds to walk away as Kamasaki shouts after her.

"Hey! You didn't pay for that!"

Tetsurou is about to follow her when someone grabs his wrist. It's Michimiya.

"Kuroo-kun." Michimiya gives a brief glance Shiro's way before turning it on him. There's somewhat of a spark of warning and trust in them. "Watch over her, ok? Remember what I said and make sure she doesn't use the water for…" Michimiya's voice goes whisperingly low."…anything else."

"Got it." This is one responsibility Tetsurou will never allow himself to fail.

* * *

 

Hajime is going to lose his fucking mind.

He had woken up over an hour later to find the kitchen a complete wreck. There's flour on every single surface, the floor is stark white with it, he can barely breathe because it's in the air too and he's furious. Completely forgetting the fact he'd just passed out on the kitchen floor, he stands up with murderous purpose.

"What the actual—godforsaken— _ fuck _ happened here?" He yells, coughing up a storm from flour inhalation and dragging a hand through the air to try to clear it up. Hajime makes the mistake of looking in the direction of the stove to find Haiba and Terushima dosed in water; the former bright-eyed cheering and whooping and edging on the later who has his hand on the burner—

"You ready to prove Ken wrong, Lev?"

"I was  _ born _ ready, Yuuji-san."

Hajime says, "Oh fuck no—" The exact same moment water is dumped on his head and Terushima turns the dial.

A blinding explosion erupts that throws Hajime back into who he can only assume is Kyoutani. His kouhai doesn't even budge under his weight (Hajime's impressed; he isn't exactly the lightest of people) and when Hajime is done hacking and can finally see again; Terushima and Haiba are laughing manically; covered head to toe in flour with matching spiked hairdos. Terushima's holding some sort of rock in his hand and waving it around in his direction.

"See, Ken?! Instant drain!" Terushima laughs and Hajime has never hated a sound so much in his life. Who the fuck thinks it's alright to do experiments like these in other people's houses? Hajime examines all the flour covered surfaces of the kitchen and the still broken dining table. Shiro is going to go genocide on all their asses if she comes back to see any of this— _ Hajime's _ going to slay his own ass if he has to stand with this mess any longer. He isn't sure how much he can hold back the clench of his grinding jaw muscles before he lashes at someone; mainly Terushima.

"Fucking hell, Terushima, Shiro's gonna slaughter you." Hajime's glad he has another sensible person in the room with him but he also wonders how sensible Kyoutani really is if he let this happen in the first place. He'd expect this from Haiba but from Kyoutani? Hajime guesses Terushima brings out the worst in people.

The bastard in question blows Kyoutani off with an off-handed gesture. "Please, the house is totally fine. I haven't even broken anything yet."

Hajime snaps at that, "You broke the fucking table, didn't you?!" He is going to find a way to murder this fucker even if it kills, even if the bastard is sort of a god.

Terushima tries to placate him by holding up his hands in defeat, "Ok you need a chill pill dude... what was your name again?"

Hajime breaks.

"I don't give two flying fucks if you're a god or some celestial being. Get out of this kitchen before I fucking kick your godforsaken ass you—"

"Technically Iwaizumi-san, Yuuji-san can't really forsake his own ass— " Haiba points out, "Maybe some other god could but Yuuji-san could just—"

" _ OUT _ ."

And with that Hajime literally throws Terushima and Haiba's flour-covered asses out of the kitchen. Kyoutani has enough dignity to walk out on his own and Hajime gets to lathering down the entire place before Shiro comes back and commits a homicide.

* * *

 

"What ails you, Tetsurou?"

Startled right out of his thoughts, Tetsurou is left not unlike a deer in headlights. They're out of youkaiville and in a bus back to the closest stop within walking distance to the shrine. Shiro patiently waits, locks of silver hair falling off her shoulder as she leans forward to meet his eyes. "Was the land of youkai not up to par with your expectations?"

Despite his morbid ailment, Tetsurou grins. "That certainly exceeded any expectations my meager human brain may have had by far." Even though there weren't really any compliments thrown Shiro's way, she preens under the observation while folding her hands into her sleeves.

Practically hauntingly and with a nose way to up in the air, she responds, "But of course, Tetsurou. I am glad to rid another human of their delusions about the youkai kind. We are more than mere monstrosities of the mind."

His cheer doesn't last long as his turmoil returns. Whether or not he should ask Shiro is a fork in the road he's undecided on. It doesn't seem right to question such a thing. And yet, with Shiro being the only one who could provide him with an answer, or really, the only one who can ground him with some of her conviction, he needs to ask.

"Something Michimiya said is bothering me," he begins unsure.

"Oh?" A tiny knot forms between her light brows. "I don't recall Yui speaking of anything ill."

"When you went to see Ke—Futakuchi." Tetsurou tries really hard for the name to leave a bitter taste in his mouth and fails. "Me and Michimiya were talking about, well, Kenma and—"

It's excruciatingly difficult to even say. Tetsurou has to swallow the lump in his throat several times before he can try to continue.

"She..." He's already come this far. He might us well get over with it. "We were talking about dousing magic, and how you tried a bunch of different spells to try to find Kenma. And then she said..."

Come to think of this, should Tetsurou be passing on what Shiro's close friend told him in confidence? Won't it affect their relationship negatively? Michimiya seemed to care about Shiro enough to do things that may anger her just to protect her. Wouldn't it make a dent in their friendship? But Shiro has to have overcome this, has to have known this. She doesn't strike him as the type of person to ignore a complication as large as this one.

So he lifts his head up and holds her gaze, only to find her smiling at him.

"You're very kind, Tetsurou." Shiro reaches out and pats her hair and, holy shit, that is one too many palpitations in his chest. She continues to graze his scalp with her fingertips for a few silent moments.

"I think of it this way," she begins, and Tetsurou isn't sure if his clammy hands are from nerves or embarrassment. "Whether Kenma is still with us or not," he's very glad Shiro doesn't opt for the d-word. Michimiya hadn't been so kind. "He is still out there somewhere. He remains lost and in need of finding."

She tilts her head, and, somehow, the smile grows warmer. "Is that not true, Tetsurou?"

It isn't completely the answer Tetsurou had wanted. It also isn't completely the answer he didn't want. Shiro is right. Kenma remains missing either way, and they still have to find him. Of course, he wants to find the idiot still kicking but... if he isn't… then they need to look even harder for him. Tetsurou doesn't know enough about magic to further dwell on Michimiya's words, and even if he did, he's sticking on the Find Kozume Kenma team with Shiro until the end.

_ "It's weird, Kuroo-kun. Even if... Even if Kenma-kun was  _ dead _ , she still would have found him by now with all the magic she's been using. It's really weird." _

Tetsurou will not dwell on those words any longer.

* * *

 

Kentarou knows he isn't exactly the smartest tool in the shed but he also knows better than to ignore the feeling in his gut telling him Terushima isn't himself.

Lev and him haven't seen Terushima since Christmas last year when he'd nearly blown off Naoi's roof with his stupid flying carriage. Kentarou is forever grateful for his help when he'd saved them from further casualties during the werewolf attack so he hadn't punched his daylights out then or ever for the matter. If he hadn't found them when he did and taken them to Shiro, Kentarou can into imagine how many people would have gotten hurt with two new uncontrollable werewolves on the loose. Since then, Lev and him take special wolfsbane potion brewed by Shiro so they can rest easy during the full moon and they'd only seen Terushima and his flying carriage on rare occasions. Still, Kentarou had been young when it'd happened, so in his biased childhood mind, Terushima is still somewhat of a hero in his eyes.

That, of course, doesn't justify him ignoring all the fidgeting Terushima's been doing. Lev, also of fucking course, is blissfully obvious, too busy hooking up his iPhone to the smart tv in the living room to show Terushima some British YouTuber he swears up and down is hysterical. The only quality Kentarou finds hilarious about the situation is Lev's comedic sense.

The two idiots howl with laughter at every little analogy the foreigner comes up with. Kentarou is part amused and part perturbed at how Lev sucks at everything related to speaking English but can understand just about everything like he's been living in the states his whole life.  _ Fucking American weeb _ .

Half way through the video, Terushima excuses himself to the bathroom and Kentarou has a half a second of decision-making before he stealthily peeks through the open sliding door Terushima had just exited.

From Kentarou's brief experience with Kozume Shrine, he knows for a fact that the bathroom is through the side door, down the hall and right at end.

Terushima had just gone left.

Kentarou allows himself a few moments of doubt, to see if Terushima will double back. When he checks his phone and finds five minutes have elapsed, he stealthy dogs Terushima's footsteps, leaving behind a Howling With Too Much Fucking Laughter Lev.

When Kentarou reaches the dead end of the wooden hallway, he peeks out. He knows for another fact that Terushima should not be searching through those closets because not only will Shiro string him alive for touching anything in the shrine without permission but also because those are  _ Kenma's _ closets.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Terushima jumps a foot in the air and nearly sears Kentarou's eyebrows off with a bolt of lightning magic. Kentarou doesn't really care if his tone comes off as accusatory. This man may have saved his life but that doesn't mean Kentarou will ignore his snooping—especially when it's concerning the other people who saved his life.

Terushima chuckles a little and rubs the back of his neck, "Jeez, Ken, make some noise. 'Don't want to go around accidentally making werewolf shishkebobs."

Kentarou stays silent towards this accusation and waits in glaring silence for Terushima to explain himself. In turn, Terushima rubs his neck a few more times and looks away when he says, "I was just looking for this thing Shiro-chan borrowed from me. You know, a big brown mallet just like the one from Mario. I really need it back before the upcoming meet at Izumo's."

Here Terushima shows off some skills in magic. He makes a three balls of lightening and juggles them before grinning at Kentarou. "I'm gonna knock all down with my mad skills. See?"

Kentarou gives the god a long look. On one hand, he could continue with his accusations, say something like 'Those are Kenma's closets.' And 'Why couldn't you wait until Shiro-san came back?' And also 'That sounds like a whole lot of bull.' On the other hand, Kentarou can't think of a reason why Terushima would lie to him. Terushima had always been open to all godly questions, even when he and Lev were young and ignorant. Kentarou isn't sure he want to accuse someone he respects of... of trespassing?

If Kentarou doesn't even know what he's accusing Terushima of doing then he isn't going to take this action even further than this.

"Whatever." Kentarou walks away.

* * *

 

Shiro and Kuroo get back when Hajime's sleeves and pants are rolled up and he's scrubbing the last bit of flour off the ground. He doesn't even greet then, just continues wiping so he can fucking finish cleaning the stupid kitchen while cursing Terushima under his breath.

"It seems that I've gained a housewife." Shiro says, amusement dancing with her words. Hajime is far from amused himself but he doesn't think he has the right to say anything when he's the one who let Terushima and Haiba destroy the kitchen.

He does, however, snap his head up when Shiro asks, "Did Yuuji do his flour trick again?"

"He's done this  _ before _ ?"  _ And you still let him in here? The fuck is wrong with all you magic folk? _ Hajime will never understand these people.

Shiro appears to have something to say but then realization strikes her and she laughs at Hajime; full-blown out laughter that has her clutching her sides to settle herself.

"W-wait, you mean to tell me you actually  _ scoured  _ the entire kitchen?" It takes a few confused moments for Hajime to realize what Shiro is implying and he swears to every deity in existence (that isn't Terushima. Or Kenma) that he's going to find a way to fucking  _ murder _ the god.

Shiro steps around him and rummages through one of the cupboards. She pulls out a something that looks like a crystal (it probably is) and comes back over to kneel next to him. Hajime scoots over a bit because do these people not believe in personal space and watches as Shiro holds out the jewel to the last piece of floor covered in flour and—he has to run his eyes to makes sure that this is actually real—it glows and sucks up all the flour in a heartbeat.

Hajime so tired of this damned mess that he's not even mad anymore.

He jumps a little when Shiro rests her hand on his shoulder. She smiles at him, "Thank you for your hard, albeit unnecessary, work, Iwaizumi-san."

Hajime is surprised and in his surprise he remembers—  _ "—you want me to throw it all away because you think she might be untrustworthy and lying." _

Needless to say, Hajime feels horrible.

"You don't have to—" Hajime grips the cloth in his hand tighter, "You don't need to—"

"No?" Shiro happily sighs dramatically, "Thank goodness. The short-lived wall of formality between us nearly shattered my heart."

Hajime frowns. "I take it bac—"

"Now that that is over with," Shiro straightens up and starts walking out of the kitchen towards the living room. She stops at the door to peer at him. "If I'm not being too nosey, it's been a long day and I'm sure you're exhausted from dealing with both Yuuji and Lev for the entire day."

Hajime is beyond the point of exhaustion, he feels like he's only going off adrenaline at this point. This magic stuff is just too much for him.

Shiro is still by the door, shifting between leaving and saying something. Hajime's about to ask her when she says with a little hope in her voice, "Maybe you could make up with Tetsurou and go to bed?"

Hajime stiffens slightly. That's something he really does need to do before throwing himself on a bed and sleeping for the next three days. So he sighs and stands up.

"Yeah," he mutters, "I'll do that."

* * *

 

"So like, "Tetsurou begins, "if you're a god, can I pray to you?"

Supposedly, Tetsurou himself is a god, but no matter how many times he prayed to himself nothing happened. What's the point of being a god if he can't get any free stuff?

"Sure man! Knock yourself out!" Tetsurou likes this guy; he's fun and down to earth. There's a growing bruise on his cheek from when Shiro had smacked him earlier for breaking the dining table but other than that, he's social and more fun to be around. Unlike some other people he knows.

Tetsurou claps his hands together in prayer. "I want a jelly doughnut."

"Dude I'm a god, not a delivery man." Terushima laughs when Tetsurou deflates with a " _ boo _ ."

It was hilarious to find out that Lev and Kyoutani had been the werewolves Shiro had made Iwaizumi babysit for the day. She'd sent them off earlier with some sort of potion to help them control their werewolf-ness with the stern words, " _ Don't _ stay at Shigeru's this time. He will know something is different and then he'll get all naggy and passive-aggressive. Please spare us all."

Tetsurou wants to meet this person who even Shiro finds naggy and passive-aggressive. But right now he wants to milk Terushima's storage of information for all its worth.

"So Terushima, what's Shiro's full name?"

Terushima grins cheekily at him. "No clue."

"Worth a try." Tetsurou sinks into the living room couch. He knows that it has to be some play on 'Shiro' and 'Chi' but other than that he's stooped. He doesn't even know which part is her first name and which part is her last name. He might as well move onto the next question.

"Did you know Kenma?" Tetsurou has reached the conclusion that most of the people he'd met knew Shiro and then Kenma by association. The only ones who seemed to know Kenma personally were Lev and Kyoutani, though. Tetsurou's just glad Kenma had some cross-worlds friends to help him out if he ever needed it.

"Barely. Kid didn't get around much." That sounded like the Kenma he knew. A coil Tetsurou didn't know he had uncurls itself in his chest. He's a little relieved that the Kenma he knew was just as real as the one he didn't—that even with all the magic and the gods and the youkai, Kenma was still just Kenma in the end.

Shiro comes in before Tetsurou can ask anything else. She sits down on the 'L' part of the couch away from Tetsurou right next to Terushima. Tetsurou doesn't get why she had to go out of her way to walk all the way over there when she could have easily sat down next to him. The bitterness in his thoughts surprises him for a moment. He really needs to talk to someone about this crush dilemma.

"Now, Yuuji." Shiro folds her hands in her lap and turns her head to face the culprit. "Would you mind telling me what reason you decided to demolish my table and grace us with your presence?"

Tetsurou grins a little at The Shiro Smile of Fury. He'd been on the receiving end of one of those earlier and damn did he sweat from it. Tetsurou doesn't think that even Suga could beat her in the Angelic Smiles Which Cause You To Regret Every Life Decision You've Ever Made department.

Terushima—props to him for not bulking under the weight of the smile—grins wider and says, "You see Waka needs this thing from The Crows and you're the only one left who has any connections with them so could you—"

"A moment." Shiro holds up a finger to stop Terushima from further explanation. "Who is this 'Waka' persona?"

"Waka. Wakatoshi. Ushiwaka. Ushijima. Whatever you wanna call him." Shiro raises an eyebrow while Tetsurou tries to figure out which one's Waka's name. What was up with all these people and name butchering?

Terushima continues his earlier note with quite a grin. "The one and only best dragon hunter the world's ever seen."

Tetsurou hears 'dragon' and 'hunter ' in the same sentence and he's sold. He wonders if he can somehow convince Shiro to get them one. They can't be that expensive, can they?

"I have questions, Yuuji." Tetsurou hopes they're on the lines of 'how can we meet this Dragon Hunter dude and where can we sign up?' but Shiro pummels his hopes after Terushima tells her to— "Shoot."

"Question one: does Ushijima-san know that his brother was attacked and placed under a curse?"

Tetsurou sees Terushima frown for the first time. It looks so out of place on his face, "'course he does!  _ But _ he also knows that his brother can take care of himself." Terushima scratches his nose. "I don't see the point you're making here."

"I'm not. I'm merely asking a question," Shiro holds up two fingers this time, "Question Two: What exactly does Ushijima-san need from the Tengu and why does he need it?"

"Ok that was two question but alright," Terushima folds his arms and hums a thoughtful tune. Ever since the first question Shiro asked, Tetsurou's been thrown a little off. Would it kill the guy to come and check on his brother who's currently invalid? That seems very strange to Tetsurou. Even if he was confident his brother could 'handle it' (Tetsurou doesn't think lying unconscious in bed for the past two weeks is exactly handling it) is he not worried? Hell, Tetsurou is worried about the guy and he hasn't spoken two cents to him. He imagines how his brother must feel. Or how it feels to be in Pretty Boy's shoes, practically in a coma, knowing your family won't even come visit you. It's a rough thought for Tetsurou, someone who has lost people dear to him, "Waka needs a tengu fan to catch some vesperaldus. You know how fast those buggers are. There all like 'whoooosh' and 'poof' and then they're gone."

Shiro does not seem at all amused by the exaggerated hand gestures and crosses her arms humorlessly. Tetsurou has been on the other end of those too. "And your 'Waka' couldn't get this fan from—oh I don't know— _ the hundreds of stands _ in The Garble that sell authentic tengu fans?"

Terushima doesn't miss a beat even when Shiro lays it on so thick. "There ain't anything authentic about those in The Garble. They're all made of fatsia. We need one with real feathers."

"What do you mean by 'we'?" Shiro must lose all the patience she has because she erupts into an interrogation of back-to-back inquiries. "Why are you helping Wakatoshi? Since when have you even been acquainted with him? How does he even stand you? Since when has hunting vesperaldus even become legal? And what is that  _ horrid _ object you have on your tongue?" Tetsurou is mildly amused to not be at the other side of Exasperated Shiro. It's kind of funny how he's seen so many other faces of Shiro in the short time since he's known her. Tetsurou hadn't even noticed the silver stud until Shiro had pointed it out and he finds it magically amusing how it seemed like she couldn't focus because of it.  _ Pros and cons of Japanese heritage _ , he muses with a grin.

"Sheesh, calm your tits, woman," Terushima beams loftily, shuffling slightly away to bring his legs up in a pretzel. Tetsurou is amazed how nothing seems to faze this guy. "You make it sound like I've been ignoring you for the past year."

"Coincidentally,  _ you have _ ." Shiro hisses. If Tetsurou hadn't known better, he'd think he was watching a lovers' quarrel. It's not that he knows better though—it's that he has something of a minuscule crush on one side of the spat so he'd pretending the whole thought never crossed his mind.

"Whatever. To answer your…" Terushima counts on his fingers. "six lovely questions. One: Me and The Swan Guild. Two: Favor for a favor. Three: Since forever. Four: Waka doesn't need to stand me. I'm awesome. Five: Since Shirabu won the lawsuit and Six," Terushima sticks out his tongue to reveal the piercing inside. "This is an awesome invention the Americans made called a stud. Cool right?"

Tetsurou gives the guy an internal clap for catching all that. His mind races at the words 'guild' and 'lawsuit'. Guilds were real? There were lawsuits for legalizing dragon hunting? Magic lawyers existed? Can he get one to get him a dragon? What is this madness? Why does Shiro not tell him anything?

As usual, Shiro isn't confused by the same troubles Tetsurou is as she drags a hand down her face and asks, "How does that even feel?"

Terushima grins wickedly and in a move The Meme Team would have described as the poster child for the phrase 'smooth as fuck', the dipshit leans forward and places a wet one on Shiro after saying, "Like  _ this _ ."

In theory, Tetsurou isn't the type to get angry using his fists. He's the type who will hurt with his words. It's something he isn't really proud of since people only have one heart and when it breaks, it will remain broken until you find the necessary glue to stick the pieces back together and even then it will never be the same. Tetsurou likes people like Iwaizumi whose motto in life is: 'don't break people's hearts since they only have one. Break their bones; they have two hundred and six of those suckers.'

In practice though, sometimes he does get angry enough for it reach his knuckles. He would've punched Terushima, knocked his jaw out even (He's sure of that—Iwaizumi the Behemoth with The Monster Arms is the one who taught him how to throw a punch) if Iwaizumi the Behemoth with The Monster Arms hadn't held him back.

" _ Kuroo _ ." Iwaizumi hisses, struggling to hold Tetsurou back. " _ Wait _ . Shiro can handle it."

A few things happen following The Kiss: Terushima pulls back, victory smile yanking at his lips and he taunts, "Now Shiro-chan, tell me where you hid the mallet."

Tetsurou doesn't understand want the means nor does he understand why Shiro smiles like she's just won the lottery, remarking, "I don't think I will, Yuuji."

If Tetsurou had wanted to get any more enraged than he was at the fact that Shiro had just ignored what just happened, he couldn't have. All his anger disappears with the color in Terushima's face when moments pass and no one in the room makes a move.

Tetsurou almost feels sorry for the asshole when he whips his head around to gawk at him. Tetsurou's never seen someone so shaken before.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me, Yuuji?"

"I—I gotta go."

With that sputtering goodbye, Terushima pulls out a pearl, crushes it and disappears in a swirl of smoke.

* * *

 

"Are we just going to ignore what just happened?" Kuroo laments indignantly, pacing the kitchen. Shiro pulls on a pair of white gloves and dumps a Pocari Sweat bottle into a brass bowl, ignoring Kuroo while adding a bunch of different powders to the concoction. Kuroo stops pacing and exclaims, "What the fuck even happened?"

Hajime sits in a chair at the end of the kitchen. He folds his arms and waits for Shiro to say something about Terushima's disappearing act. He sighs. This day is just never going to end, is it?

Shiro remains silent, stirring the mixture with a spoon. Hajime gets a little spooked when it starts to smoke. This magic issue creeps him out. It might be useful in ways he doesn't know but it just gets under his skin to see something so unusual. After a few more whisks, the mixture sparkles and becomes dotted with emerald flacks. Shiro clicks her tongue at that.

"Even the authentic ones are toyed with…" Shiro turns to Just About To Implode Kuroo and instructs, "Get me the orange filter from under the cupboard and I'll answer your inquiry."

Hajime's never seen Kuroo move so fast. He presents the filter to Shiro who then uses it to filter out the green flicks from her concoction, leaving only clear water. She puts the filter in the sink.

"Kenma and I were sometimes tasked to guard objects," Shiro explains, sprinkling even more stuff on the now clear water. This time it glows purple and Hajime gets a little queasy from looking at the unnatural hue of it. Shiro thinks for a moment, "Not really guard but keep safe. Like you humans and your banks."

"Magic people don't have banks?" Hajime asks skeptically. He'd think people with magic would have something to safeguard their valuables. You know, goblins and shit. Hajime muses that maybe the magic gets to their heads and they're too arrogant to have other people guard their valuables when they can turn anyone who touches them into a frog. His smirk transitions into a frown as soon as he thinks that. Can Shiro turn them into amphibians? Maybe magic sorts aren't as arrogant as he believes if they can actually do shit like that.

"Not really. They still participate in trade. It's much easier and more satisfactory than slaving after paper and metals." She says. Hajime doesn't really like the way she had put that but, admittedly, it is mildly true.

Kuroo has other questions. "What does that have to do with Terushima looking like he just shit a brick?" Hajime scowls. Does Kuroo not know how to censor his words around girls? Sure Hajime wasn't really buffering much around Shiro himself but that's different. And didn't Kuroo...  _ like _ her? Hajime's not sure. He's never really seen Kuroo like this nor has he ever thought one could come to like someone so quickly. What Hajime is worried about most is the whole 'she's a hundred year old spirit and you're a twenty three year old human' issue. Should he talk to Kuroo about it? Hajime doesn't get why he's stuck with all this mushy feeling stuff when he's so bad at it.

"He was going to force me to tell him where one of the items we have was." Shiro laughs with one hand on her mouth while the other stirs. "And you saw how well that worked out, didn't you?"

Hajime doesn't get what Shiro means by Terushima forcing her to do anything. He'd been there for that part and all that had happened was Terushima asking Shiro to tell him where the... mallet was? The important thing is, he doesn't remember any unwillingness involved.

"What do you mean he was going to force you? All he did was tell you to tell him where the mallet thing was." Kuroo verbalizes Hajime's thoughts and then Hajime has the surprising experience of witnessing Shiro stiffen. It's the same observation as watching Matsukawa or Hanamaki be serious for once in their lives far away from the their usual mix of what they call their 'dastardly astounding sense for great memes.'

"Oh um—" Hajime didn't even know Shiro was  _ capable _ of mumbling, stuttering or any other human conjecture besides whipping the floor with their collective asses daily. You learn something new every day. "I didn't say that—"

"Yes you did." Kuroo claims and Hajime nods in agreement, "You did."

Shiro looks between the two of them and then sighs. She pours the now pink (seriously, what was that shit?) liquid into a bottle and closes it with a cork. "Can we talk about this after I help the cursed one?"

Hajime doesn't really care. It's Kuroo's decision and one peek at him tell Hajime's that even if Kuroo is dying for information, he'll never let himself get in the way of someone needing help.

"Ok, but we're  _ going _ to talk about this."

Shiro leaves and then Hajime is reminded of the awkward foot he and Kuroo had left on and he curses. Knowing that it's his fault potentially multiples the awkward by five. Hajime is not good with silence. He never has been great at dealing with nor does he think he'll ever be. He doesn't like that he can't deal with something so simple when silence itself is sometimes golden. Yaku tells him it's better to know how to speak your mind even if there are times you should shut your mouth. Hajime is straying from the main topic, however, and long moments of equally awkward silence pass.

Hajime breaks a second later.

"I'm sorry."

Hajime can see the way Kuroo visibly relaxes even when he tries to hide it. Hajime's grateful Kuroo hates fighting just as much as Hajime hates quiet.

"Apology accepted. Let's go see an exorcism."

For once, Hajime is glad that Kuroo hates fighting. Hajime isn't great with the mushy stuff and Kuroo isn't great with the fighting part and together they make one hell of an awkward puzzle. But it works and Hajime is happy about it.

Just before they exit the kitchen, Shiro comes back with a: "Oh and before I forget." and kisses Kuroo.

She leaves with a, "It's just a precaution," and Hajime is left with a Dumbfounded Kuroo and one million and one ' _ what the actual fuck? _ 's.

Hajime lets it settle in, just to make sure that really just happened, before remarking, "Why the fuck did she just kiss you?" What the fuck does 'it's just a precaution' mean?  _ What the fuck? _

Kuroo clenches his shirt where his heart is and Hajime pretends he doesn't see the pink on his ears.  _ This definitely isn't even more awkward. _

"It's a god thing."

* * *

 

The exorcism turns out to be the most boring thing Tetsurou's ever witnessed. All Shiro does is fill the pink liquid into an eye drop bottle and drop three drops of it in each eye. It finishes before he can blink and Tetsurou feels cheated.

Iwaizumi declares he's going to sleep for the next century and disappears into his room. Shiro says she's going to watch over 'the cursed one' just to make sure nothing goes wrong and after much argument, Tetsurou retires to his room.

He's pretty sure she's just delaying all the explanation she needs to give him, but just in case she isn't and really does need to watch Pretty Boy for any side effects, Tetsurou will leave it until tomorrow.

Tetsurou is tired but it isn't only from walking around Youkai Garble all day. He needs to talk to someone about his 'situation' before he promptly implodes on the spot. After much indecision on who to call (definitely not any members of The Meme team or I'll Bash You Over The Head For Being Stupid Yaku), he lays stomach down on his bed, hugs a pillow and proceeds to video call his one true bro.

"KUROOOOO! HEY HEY  _ HEY _ !" And then Tetsurou regrets it because Bokuto's loud voice is eardrum-shattering. He loves the dude to pieces but Tetsurou's confident he would never pass down an opportunity for a remote control that could lower the volume of Bokuto's monstrous voice.

"Fuck, your voice is loud." Tetsurou discreetly uses the sound control to knock the tone down a few notches. He's sure Bokuto won't mind even if he sees him do it but he still feels the need to keep it quiet. (Which, ironically, Bokuto isn't.)

"Don't swear in front of the children!" Bokuto exclaims and Tetsurou catches a glimpse of one very done middle schooler and another oblivious looking little girl deadpanning before Bokuto apparently rushes up into another room with a 'be right back!' thrown over his shoulder.

Tetsurou laughs and already feels much lighter.

"You're babysitting?" Tetsurou asks.

"Yeah, sis went to dinner with her hubby, so I offered my awesome babysitting skills." Tetsurou lets out another laugh when he hears one of the kids say, "But I heard you beg mom to let you stay here for tonight. You shouldn't lie to your friends, jiisan"

"I'm not sure who's doing the 'sitting part." Tetsurou says and has to hide a snicker with his pillow when both of them confirm that they are the babysitters. Tetsurou smiles a bit. He hasn't talked to Bokuto in a little under a month and he feels bad about it. He knows Bokuto doesn't mind and that they're both working adults but Tetsurou still wishes he could make more time to do something he actually likes. It just feels wrong to him to put so much time in working his ass off when he doesn't even like his job. One way or another he's going to find a way live the way he wants. Maybe after he finds Kenma, he'll revamp his life.

"—Ok,  _ fine _ ! I'm going upstairs to talk to someone who actually  _ wants _ to have fun! ‘See if I’ll ever teach  _ you  _ how to spike a ball properly, Yumeko-chan!" Bokuto squawks madly in a direction Kuroo can't see and sticks his tongue out. He then turns to Kuroo with a grin. "Give me a sec."

Tetsurou lets out a cheery "sure" after Bokuto starts apparently walking up some stairs and Tetsurou is left alone in the silence of his room for a minute. He wonders if Shiro is still watching Pretty Boy or if she's gone to bed. He can't help but think about all the craziness he's learned today: Shiro having a friend that calls her 'Chi-chan.' Lethe water existing and dangerous. Shiro having an ex-boyfriend she's on good terms with. Shiro making potions to help Lev and Kyoutani monthly. Kenma being a god. Him being a god. Iwaizumi nearly punching a god. Said god stealing a kiss from Shiro. Shiro kissing him...

_ "It's just a precaution." _

"Ok bro what's up—Kuroo?"

Tetsurou shakes his head to rid his thoughts and focuses on Bokuto's concerned face while swallowing the lump that has formed in his throat and ignoring the sound of his heartbeat in his ears, "Yeah?"

"Are you ok?" Bokuto's face gets all up in the screen as if to get a better look at Tetsurou. "You look real down."

And now Tetsurou feels double bad because he's not even calling Bokuto to just talk to him and catch up with his friend; he's calling to use him and talk to him about  _ Tetsurou's _ life and  _ Tetsurou's _ worries. He's going to make the friend he hasn't talked to in over a month worry over Tetsurou when Tetsurou hasn't even cared enough to call him. Tetsurou doesn't deserve all this concern Bokuto is showing him. How can Tetsurou even be so selfish to ask for anything when he's being such a —

"I'm fine," Tetsurou tries to say, "It's nothing—"

"You don't sound fine." Bokuto declares, making exaggerated hand gestures to confirm his point. "Your voice sounds all wrong. It's all blubbery and stuff."

"It is not." Tetsurou's voice is not all 'blubbery and stuff', thank you very much. What does blubbery even mean? Bokuto leans forward a little more so all that occupies the screen are his eyes. "Seriously, Kuroo, tell me what's up." He quickly adds with emphasis, "I know I can be really oblivious so I won't know what's wrong if you just sit there and don't say anything." And then adds firmly, "Please say something."

Tetsurou has all his previous thoughts run a marathon through his mind again. This time, he remembers something Suga always says—he tells himself to look at it through Bokuto's perspective. All Bokuto sees is a friend that isn't himself and wants to help because that's the type of bro he is. He doesn't see what Tetsurou is feeling. Despite himself, Tetsurou feels a smile ghost over his lips. Sometimes, he thinks he doesn't deserve a friend like Bokuto. Or like Suga. Or even Iwaizumi. They're all just amazing and he, he isn't really anything special like they are.

Is he?

Tetsurou takes a deep breathe. No one can see what you're feeling unless you tell them, "There's this girl—"

" _ A girl? _ " Bokuto makes excited hooting noises and pushes the screen even further into his face. Tetsurou isn't sure how that doesn't hurt nor why Bokuto is suddenly shaking excitedly. "Kuroo Tetsurou-kun is crying over a  _ girl _ ?"

Tetsurou exasperatedly deadpans that he is not, in fact: "I'm not crying over anything, Bokuto."

"You look like you are—"

" _ I'm not _ ."

"Ok, fine," Here, Bokuto gets really excited, like some old woman with a new topic to gossip over. " _ So _ , there's a  _ girl _ ."

Tetsurou runs a hand down his face and realizes this is going to be a long night. "Yes, Bokuto, we've already established that there is, in fact," Tetsurou wait a moment for exasperated dramatic effect and then says the word the same way Bokuto does, "a  _ girl _ ."

Bokuto gasps zealously like he's just won the lottery and Tetsurou is almost tricked into believing that Bokuto's the one with the crush. He didn't even know Bokuto was into this stuff. Tetsurou think that maybe he should have told one of his more level-head friends but he guess he'll let this Excited High School Girl Bokuto have a go.

"Tell me about this," This time, Bokuto pauses for even more dramatic effect, " _ girl _ ."

"Ok, can we stop saying it like that? You make me sound like a hermit who's never talked to a female in his life." Tetsurou asks and then he swears Bokuto, the legal adult,  _ pouts _ . Seriously, he picked this guy over Iwaizumi, Yaku  _ and _ Suga? Maybe this crush feature stole his brain too.

"You're no fun, Kuroo-kun."

"Don't call me 'Kuroo-kun' either."

"Tetsurou-kun?"

" _ Stop _ ."

Bokuto belts out a laugh that lets Tetsurou be relieved that this part of the conversation is over. 'Tetsurou' is something special between him and Shiro, after all.

The thought makes him realize just how soft he's gone. He's so  _ done _ .

"So." Bokuto repositions himself at the other side of the screen so he's lying down and has his face in hands staring at the camera. Tetsurou doesn't get why Bokuto is so happy when the only thing they've establish is there's a woman. "Does this girl have a name?"

Why is the first question Bokuto ask be the only one he can't answer properly? Tetsurou contemplates it for a moment and he end he just goes with: "Shiro."

Tetsurou is confused when Bokuto laughs again. When the idiot finally settles down, Tetsurou isn't even sure he wants to know why Bokuto was in stitches with the stupid look he has on his face.

"Ok, what was so funny?" Tetsurou knows, he just knows he's going to regret asking. He can feel his Bokuto Is About To Say Something Stupid And I'm Still Going To Laugh senses tingling.

Bokuto doesn't miss a single beat. "So she's  _ Shiro _ and you're  _ Kuro _ ." Bokuto makes a dramatic pose and points upwards. " _ Clearly _ a match made in heaven!"

Tetsurou swears it's the stupidest observation anyone could ever make about the situation and he  _ still _ laughs. He doesn't even feel sad after hearing Kenma's old nickname for him. He holds the pillow a little closer to hide his simper.

"Yeah, I guess."

Silence follows in which Tetsurou realizes Bokuto is waiting for him to say something. Tetsurou isn't sure what he can say about the whole god, familiar, and magic ordeal (or if he can say anything at all) and he's completely stumped on how he's ever going to explain to Bokuto how they even met so instead he begins with explaining to both himself and Bokuto who Shiro is.

"She's... really mean sometimes," He starts, looking away because fuck this is embarrassing. And he's talking to Mister I Make An Embarrassment Of Myself Minutely himself. That gives him a little courage to continue, "And she can really knock you down an inch if you make her mad." Hell, she still whips the floor with him even when she's not mad. "And sometimes she has these looks that make you feel so incompetent." Tetsurou sneaks a peek at Bokuto just to see if he's actually listening to this crap. He's a little surprised to see his bro listening so intently and it gives a little more courage to continue. "And I'm always being stupid around her and I just can't help it. But then sometimes I feel like all that stepping out of line was worth it when she smiles. And she's so determined and, like, driven. It's been so long and she still hasn't given up and I—"

"Bro, Bro, Bro." Tetsurou stops his speech and looks back at the camera to see Bokuto's face squished into the screen. "Are you  _ blushing _ ?"

Screw Mister Embarrassment himself. This is ten times worse than anything Bokuto could've done to himself. Tetsurou has to cover his hand with his face to try to hide the all the heat he's feeling. Why didn't he call Suga instead? Sure Suga would tease him but anything would be better than this.

"It's just—" Tetsurou realizes this is the first time he's going to say it out loud and he takes a deep breath.

"I just really like her, ok?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three guesses as to who the entire next chapter will be dedicated to. also have a [tumblr](http://haruhi02.tumblr.com/)


	4. In which Sugawara Koushi convinces Yaku Morisuke of the pros and cons of being a trigger happy tsundere

**Bonds of Descendants**

* * *

 

Chapter Four: In which Sugawara Koushi convinces Yaku Morisuke of the pros and cons of being a trigger happy tsundere

* * *

 

Hajime wakes up from a shouting match.

Checking his phone informs him it's eight fucking o'clock on a Sunday so this argument better be worth his time.

Hajime leaves his room and doesn't even have time to register the whole damn hallway is covered, floor to wall to ceiling, in ice before he slips and falls. He hits his head on the wood bottom of the sliding door to his room.

He lets out a string of curses. There's a pounding in his head an pounding need in his fists to pummel whoever decided to practice their ice skating skills at eight fucking o'clock in the goddamned morning. He peers down the hall and hears the fight before he can really see it.

"I am trying to help you!" Shiro screams. She's absolutely soaked in water and her fists are shaking at her sides. Her feet are incased in ice, sticking them to the floor. This is the first time he's actually seen ice magic (or any magic) in action and also the first time he's seen Shiro angry. Or is it desperate? A look to the left tells him Mister I Have Been In A Comma For The Past Two Weeks is finally up. And from the looks of it, he's the one _attacking_ Shiro.

"Oh now you're trying to help me, are you?" The guy Shiro's screaming at says this loftily. He isn't covered in ice nor soaked in water and is simply seemingly harmless in a doorway. Hajime can't see much of his face from where he is but he does see the way the curves of his mouth turn from cheery to hostile in under a second. A hand made of water shoots out and grabs Shiro by the neck and Hajime realizes that this guy is serious.

"You think I'm gullible enough to believe your good intentions? Is that what you tell all the naive simpletons you've tricked into here?" He says and Shiro grabs for the watery hand as if it's tightening. No, because it _is_ trying to wring her neck. Hajime has to do something. He searches around frantically, looking for anything he can throw at the asshole. "Just tell me where my pelt is before I cut your throat out."

Hajime is stricken with the realization that he has nothing but himself to work with and it only takes a split-second to decide that fuck it he needs to do _anything_. He somehow manages to stand up and brace himself against the sliding door without alerting any of the two of his presence. He has a suspicion Shiro knows he's there but isn't looking his way so Comatose Asshole doesn't notice.

"Have nothing to say?" Bastard in the shredded clothing challenges. He holds his own arm up in the same position of his watery one and makes a squeezing gesture. Shiro grabs for the water-made fingers around her neck to no avail. "Ok, I guess I'll just have to look for it myself after I—"

Hajime thinks _This is going to hurt_ right before he uses the door to fling himself through the corridor, using the ice to gain enough momentum to slide right into the asshole. Hajime swears he can hear Matsukawa's surprise motherfucker meme in the background.

Hajime smacks into him ( _Fuck_ did that _hurt_ ) and the watery hand disappears with a splash. What Hajime hadn't thought of was how the bloody hell they were going to stop and all he can really say when both he and the asshole crash into the wall is _ow_.

"Get off me, you brute!" The man under him struggles. Hajime manages to pin him down after much contest.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" Hajime practically screams. Does this asshole not know the meaning of asking questions? Who the fuck wakes up from a comma and starts attacking the first person he sees? A sarcastic voice answers back _The same guy who nearly stripped you in public_ ' The asshole struggles under him and even though he seems taller and leaner than Hajime himself, Hajime manages to keep him down.

Shiro appears next to him and Hajime can see her rubbing at the forming bruises at her neck. He's mad at that. Shiro had helped nurse this douchebag back to health and the first action he takes after waking up is to give her a necklace of bruises? Fuck this guy to hell and back.

"Ushijma Tooru," Even when the asshole has done nothing but attack her, Shiro still plays her polite cards. "Would you please calm down for a moment so I can explain—"

"First of all—" Ushijima Tooru interrupts, thoroughly livid. Hajime comes to the consensus this guy really needs a good hard strike to the head, if only so he can calm down. Or maybe Hajime should physically try to shake some sense in him. That might work too. "—it's _Oikawa_ , _don't_ forget that. And second of all—"

Hajime doesn't the same skills in provocation Kuroo has but he does have his own arsenal of creative comebacks. He snorts out, "More like Assikawa." It's stupid but the incredulous look on Oikawa's face makes it worth it.

Assikawa gasps. No, he _gasps_ , exactly like Hajime has just offended every single one of his ancestors personally. If Hajime hadn't just seen the guy try to kill Shiro, his first impression probably would have been that this guy could make one hell of an actor.

"How _dare_ you—" Shiro does them all a great favor and places a hand on Oikawa's mouth. He smirks and allows himself a peek behind to see how Shiro had managed to come all the way over here with all the ice only to find it (surprise, surprise) all gone. Hajime scoffs mentally. Magic assholes.

"Oikawa Tooru-san," Some of the color Shiro had lost returns to her face. Her voice is a little raspy but she continues speaking with drive and civility, "I apologize for anything I have done that may have been out of line and anything this man may have said to offend you but please understand I am only trying to help."

"Why the hell are you apologizing to this ass—" Shiro uses her other hand to cut off Hajime and takes the hand she had on Oikawa's mouth off. He does not at all appreciate getting the same treatment as the man who could be convicted for attempted murder. She side-eyes and even though Hajime doesn't understand why they're being polite to the would-be killer, he decides he'll let Shiro handle it.

Oikawa scans Shiro's face. It's a long moment before he seems to find something he and he scoffs, "It's not like I have much of a choice now do I? I guess I'll hear what you have to say."

Hajime doesn't think this guy could sound anymore condescending.

* * *

 

The last memory Tooru has is of him swimming down The Natori, talking to the stupid lizard about Wakatoshi of all topics. (What part of Wakatoshi was no brother of his had the lizard not understood?) His mind goes completely blank after that. He doesn't remember when or how he'd gotten out of water. He has no idea who any of these people are. All he knows is that his pelt is gone and he feels completely horrible.

"You're telling me," Tooru begins. He can't believe these people believe he's childish enough to trust any of the nonsense coming out of their mouths, "that you just happened to come across my beaten up, gorgeous body," Without swooning he mentally adds, "supposedly naked," he scrunches up his nose at that and at the remembrance of the ghastly clothes he's wearing now, "and decided to help out of the goodness of your hearts?"

Tooru doesn't know if he can lay it on any thicker how unbelieving he is of their fairytales, but then again, he's Oikawa Tooru, he can do anything. He hauntingly chuckles and looks at them from over his nose "Are we playing liar because I call bullshit."

"The only damn thing that's bullshit here is your memory." The Oaf growls, the fist he has on the table contracting. Tooru spares him a glance to see what this Oaf is going on about.

"I found you," the Oaf proposes, "passed out on the bank, looking like hell just passed you over, tried to call the cops right before you _attacked_ me and tried to take my _clothes_ —"

Tooru scoffs. Like hell he was going to steal this brute's excuse of clothing. He'd take Semisemi's vogue sense of fashion from the sixteen hundreds over these scrubs any day. "If I ever am in need of stealing clothing, I'm sure I'd steal them from someone who isn't dressed by their grandmother." He smirks at the way the brute practically growls.

Tooru racks his brain for anything that could help him here. He's always had a stellar memory but for some reason he can't remember anything after Ten-chan's self-imposed 'words of wisdom' _"Wakatoshi loves you man, but not the way you think he should. Come on! He's your brother! Give him a chance, why don't ya?"_

He has no idea what he said to Ten-chan at that, no reminisces of feelings he had felt either. If Ten-chan had said the same statement now, Tooru knows he would have said, _"If Ushiwaka-chan had ever thought of me as his brother, then he wouldn't have insisted on berating me every single day of my life. He would've let me grow and make mistakes like everyone else and not remind every single minute of all the failures I have committed. If that's Ushiwaka-chan's definition of love, then I don't want it."_

Tooru's sure that's what exactly he would have said but he has no memory of _saying_ it. None of these stories he's being told are matching up in his head and he wants to hold on to his belief that they're lying to him but one particular controversial fact has him hesitating: the protect kanji bolded over the center of his chest

Why would his kidnappers place a protect spell on him? Does it have to do with the reason they stole his pelt? It has to. But why protect? Why not confine or conceal or anything that would turn him invalid? And why had that woman let him attack her the way she had? Tooru could sense she was magically-capable but she hadn't even so much of used a protect spell of her own against Tooru's attack.

Tooru's doubting himself and that is never a good sign.

"It's no use, Hajime," The More Sensible One, now with tea, comes over and places a tray on the table. She offers him a cup. Tooru takes it but he isn't stupid enough to actually drink it. After giving a cup to Hajime, she sits down next to the brute. "It isn't that he doesn't remember; it's that he cannot."

Hajime seems confused but Tooru knows better. It takes a moment for it to click and Tooru is struck so dumb he could've been knocked down with a feather. "You used _lethe_ water on me?!"

Not only are his kidnappers stupid but they're stupid kidnappers with lethe water. He could— "I can sue you for unauthorized, non-consensual use of magical items!" Tooru even has the best lawyer. Well, provided he could convince said best lawyer to take his case. He might need to apologize to Ushiwaka-chan a million times over and even that may not be enough to convince Shira-chin to help him.

Stupid Kidnapper #1 (he can't believe he thought this was the sensible one too) deadpans in utter annoyance at _him_. "I can't get your permission when you've been unconscious for the past two week and your brother, your only known family, informs me and I quote 'he can take care of himself'?" She clicks her tongue, distaste marring her face. "I'm supposed to leave you thrown next to a river for dead, under the effects of a curse because Ushijima Wakatoshi thinks you are capable of taking care of yourself? Excuse me for unauthorized, non-consensual use of magic but I was _desperate_."

Tooru is taken a back at the outburst in more ways than one. He was cursed too? Wakatoshi knew about this? Tooru expects his brother to say something like that but to just leave him in the hands of people who deemed it necessary to use the last possible resort of lethe water on him to remove a curse? He had thought... that even Wakatoshi would at least...

Tooru grabs the cup of tea. He feels the need to hold onto something, anything to settle himself. These people… they were telling the truth, weren't they? They had helped him when his brother had not and he had attacked one of them. He has to apologize. He has to thank them. He has to be the better person. He has to be the something that his brother never was to him.

" _Wakatoshi loves you man, but not the way you think he should."_

Tooru scraps the chair against the floor, stands and bows low at the waist.

" _He's your brother! Give him a chance, why don't ya?"_

"I apologize for my behavior." Tooru has never gotten an apology from Wakatoshi, "Thank you for helping me." Tooru has never been helped by Wakatoshi nor has Wakatoshi ever thanked him for anything.

Tooru has never had a brother in Ushijima Wakatoshi.

* * *

 

After tapping his foot for approximately one hundred and twenty three times, Shiro gets so fed up she throws him out of the kitchen.

Hajime wants to go back to sleep and catch a few more z's before he officially starts his day, but there's a heat under his collar that won't go away with time.

There's a lot of firsts Hajime's came to experience in these last two weeks. The first time he's heard of Kenma the past six years; the first time he's met a spirit; the first time he's seen magic; the first time he nearly punched a god; and the first time Hajime sees someone break.

There's something inside of him that's driving him up the wall ever since he saw all the emotions leave Oikawa's face. It just felt so wrong to see someone barred so raw, especially someone he doesn't even know, and the thought of anyone Hajime is acquainted with ever having to bare their soul like that…

It hurts.

Hajime isn't exactly sure which page Oikawa and Shiro were on when they were arguing (too much magical terms for him) but he does know that it has to do with Oikawa's brother. Hajime really doesn't want to stick his nose in something so personal but if even Oikawa's brother refuses to help him then... who will?

Oikawa... had helped Hajime. He'd seen Hajime, someone he barely knew, almost lose their barring and he'd take it upon himself to shake some literal sense in him. If Oikawa, a complete stranger, had helped him, shouldn't Hajime, a complete stranger to Oikawa himself, do the same?

Hajime knows this is going to be ugly and he knows he's going to regret this. However, he knows for a fact he'll regret not doing it so much more than he'll regret doing so.

Hajime leaves his room and walks down the corridor to the room Oikawa is occupying. He's not sure if he just knock or just open the damn thing but then the decision is taken out of this hands when Oikawa himself slides open the door.

He seems surprise to see Hajime standing there but hostility soon appears on his face. "Yes? Is there something you want?"

Fuck. Hajime has not thought this through. What was he expecting to happen? For him to say a few empty words and ask this stranger to bare his heart even more than he had? Hajime just wants to do something but he's just _so bad with the mushy stuff_.

Something else occurs to him while he's standing there.

"Where are you going?" Hajime asks. He doesn't mean to sound accusatory or anything. He just hopes this guy isn't going to say what he thinks—

"I'm leaving." Oikawa declares. He raises an eyebrow at Hajime. "Or am I not allowed to?"

Hajime doesn't know what to do. He can't stop him and even if he did he'd have to give him a reason. This stuff is just not his expertise. If Suga was here, he'd know exactly what to say. But he isn't, the only ones here are him and Oikawa.

"If you have nothing to say, I would like to go now." Hajime has to move. He lets Oikawa pit-pat around and into the boarded hallway. Oikawa starts walking away, toward the kitchen and is Hajime really going to let him go just like that? Is he going to just let this broken guy leave in more broken pieces just to potential get more broken? Is Hajime really going to let that happen when he can prevent it?

"Fuck— Stop, wait, don't go." Hajime has just recreated Kuroo's favorite shoujo manga trope. fucking fantastic.

Oikawa actually listens to him and turns around, eyebrow still raised, "If you have something you'd like to say, could you spit it out—"

"You don't have to leave." Where the actual fuck is Hajime going with this? His mouth seems to have its own plan even while his mind continues to explode. "You can stay here." This isn't even his house. Hajime can't just offer for some random stranger to stay at a house that isn't even his. But he's already said so he might as well see how Oikawa reacts.

Oikawa's astonishment causes both his eyebrows to recede into his hairline. It's a long, awkward moment afterwards. Hajime isn't sure if he should say something. He thinks it's Oikawa's turn to talk now. That's how it works in shows, right? He says something then Oikawa responds and then Hajime says something else and then the previous hostility in Oikawa's face returns. Wait that isn't how it works.

"Is this pity?" Oikawa grinds out, "If this is pity then—"

"It's not." That's the only factor Hajime is sure of. "It's not pity." _It's redemption_. He doesn't say. _It's to thank you_.

Another long awkward moment passes.

"I guess I'll take you up on our offer then." Oikawa walks back into his room and, as he passes Hajime, he side-eyes him with a confused look, before entering the room and closing the door behind him.

Hajime doesn't know how the fuck he just did that but he did. He's sure he's finished his Social Interaction quota for the day and this time, Hajime really is going to sleep for a century.

When he walks back to his room, he passes Shiro and remembers. _Fuck I just told a stranger he could stay and this house isn't even mine._

"Listen, Shiro—"

"I cook for four then?" she asks and it takes a second for Hajime to register her smile.

He rubs the back of his neck, "Yeah, I guess."

When Hajime's head hits his pillow the last thought he has is that he doesn't deserve any of this.

* * *

 

It's three p.m. and Tetsurou feels accomplished. This is exactly how weekends should be spent. Sleeping well into the afternoon and waking up just shy of the rush. All he needs now is to hail his ass out of bed and get some coffee.

He surfs the web for an hour before he finally has the will to stand and get to the kitchen.

In said kitchen, he stumbles on Shiro and blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind, "Tell me about the Terushima forcing you thing." Looks likes today is not Smooth Kuroo Tetsurou's time to shine.

Shiro pauses in the middle of wrapping plastic around a dish and deadpans, "Good afternoon, Tetsurou. I was questioning if you were waiting for the apocalypse to begin to wake but it appears as if were merely gathering more resources to add to your blunt stupidity act."

Ouch. Tetsurou grins; he can't help but appreciate a good burn, especially when he's in a good mood. "'Morning."

Shiro sighs and unwraps the dish. "Eat while I explain."

Tetsurou happily sits and stabs his fork into his omurice (Shiro makes this a lot; maybe Kenma actually liked something besides apple pie). Shiro sits across from him and intertwines her fingers together.

"You recall the contract between us, the bond tying me as a familiar to your divinity?" Shiro reminds. Tetsurou forgets sometimes that he's supposed to be a god but it's not like he does any god-like things (besides being divinely good-looking that is). Tetsurou also forgets that Kenma was a god and the thought of Kozume Kenma doing anything god-like besides beat the fastest speed run in Pokemon FireRed is extremely laughable.

"Yeah." Tetsurou says with a mouth full of food. Shiro stares at him and his heart quickens a little and he thinks that maybe he should eat more... mannerly or something, but Shiro doesn't comment and merely continues.

"Well, this contract has its... merits." Tetsurou muses that a contract that's initiated by kissing having benefits even more than that is cheating in some way. Who made these rules up? Maybe the gods of old had some sense of humor.

"What kind of merits?" Tetsurou asks, shoveling more omurice into his mouth. Shiro stares at him again and Tetsurou swears there must be something on his face but Shiro continues to be silent on that subject.

"The kind were I am unable to disobey orders from my chosen god." She says in a breathe. Tetsurou lets that sink again until... it sinks in.

"Wait— you mean— I can tell you to do anything and you have to do it?" At Shiro's nod and clarification that it has to be an order, Tetsurou says, "Stand up."

Shiro does a minute later and sends him warning glance. "Tetsurou."

"Spin around." Shiro does after a long interval (so she can resist it a little, he writes that off in his brain as something to remember) and her face gives off more warnings every time it reappears into view. "Tetsurou."

"Stop." Tetsurou might be having a tiny bit of fun from this. Well, a whole lot. "Tell me your full name."

" _Tetsurou._ " Shiro smacks the back of his head as soon as she comes to a halt. He might have deserved that. But he also thinks Shiro deserves the spinning thing for not telling him anything so they're even now.

"Do not take this lightly. Some people can take advantage of this. _Yuuji_ was trying to take advantage of this." Shiro sits back down with a sigh.

Tetsurou waits to see how long Shiro can resist his orders and he eats four more bites of omurice before Shiro breaks.

"Kokkuri Chishiro."

Tetsurou drops his spoon. Shiro is— _Chishiro_ — What—

"Before you ask and I know you are going to ask." Shiro holds out a finger and rolls her eyes. "No, I am not the real Kokkuri-san. It is merely my family name."

Tetsurou has so many other questions though, "Wait, does that mean you're an animal spirit? Where are your ears and tail?"

Because if she doesn't have any Tetsurou will feel absolutely cheated from this magic world. He needs the cat girls; fox girls; dog girls; and all the animal girls to be real. They baby cat children from the market still hold a high place in his heart. That name though — Chishiro — when he mouths the letter, they feel nice on his tongue. He likes it a lot.

"I can hold this form just well without my ears and tail showing."

Tetsurou still feels completely robbed.

"What kind of animal spirit are you then?" He asks, mood ruined. Would it kill Shiro to not have control over something?

Shiro smiles at him, the same exact smile Michimiya had worn when she'd figured out Tetsurou's secret.

"A bitchy one."

* * *

 

Friday comes and Hajime doesn't see the broken side of Oikawa Tooru again.

For some weird, rather disastrous spin of fate, Oikawa and Kuroo got along like a house on fire. Their friendship consists of both of them trying to one-up the other in roasting somehow resembling caring. Hajime finds it simultaneously annoying and amusing. The highlights of the day have been Oikawa's lofty _'did you wake up like that or did you spend an hour staring in the mirror trying to look like a goddamned rooster?_ ' to which Kuroo's response had been smirkingly _'At least I actually looked in a mirror unlike some other bastard who's trying to one-up every tanuki in Japan with the circles under his eyes_.'

Kuroo had been right though. The bags under Oikawa's eyes have bags. Hajime, the illiterate magic type, even asks Shiro if they are any sleeping spells or potions they can give the guy.

_"There are. But Tooru says he doesn't want any."_

Hajime doesn't understand why Oikawa's torturing himself. He knows that he's hurt for his own reasons but he doesn't comprehend why Oikawa would hurt himself even more. Hajime isn't sure why he cares so much but he just doesn't like it.

Hajime is sitting alone in the living room with a man he'd seen break once. He isn't sure if that had been a onetime thing; if Oikawa just healed quickly; or if he's hiding it. Hajime had asked Kuroo about it; someone who'd experienced something of the like and he had said that if Hajime really wanted to help then the best course of action was to stay in the vicinity and wait for Oikawa to open up.

Oikawa doesn't really talk to Hajime though. He speaks to Kuroo and annoys the hell out of Shiro but towards Hajime he's silent. Whether it's because Hajime had witnessed something he shouldn't have or if he has no common areas to speak with Hajime about; he'll never know.

When Shiro comes back and Oikawa begins a monumental speech about the wonders of milk-bread and— "if only Shiro-can get make some, I'd be so grateful." To which Shiro had fumed at Oikawa to go ask his rooster friend to magic some up, Hajime gets a phone call.

It's from Yaku of all people. Hajime has the distinct feeling there's something he's forgotten.

When he answers and the word "hello?" slips out from between his lips he remembers.

_Heads up. Suga and Yakkun coming for surprise visit Friday. You've been warned._

"Iwaizumi where in the seven holy heavens are you? I swear to god if I find out you and Kuroo are in a tent again, I'm going to murder the both of you in cold blood. How can you be so—! I can't believe you didn't— I can't even—!"

Yaku's disbelieving voice is replaced by Suga's cherry yet concerned one. "Please tell me you're under a roof before I have to take Mori to a hospital for hyperventilating."

Hajime responds immediately, "We're under a roof." Well, as much as a roof as a shrine ceiling can be. How the hell is Hajime going to explain to Suga and Yaku they're living in a shrine? They'll find some way to become his legal guardians and force him to leave before he can convince them that Kenma has been a god (with many benefits). Hell, he barely believes it half the time.

"Are you going to send us your address or do we have to hire some hit-men after you?" Hajime isn't sure what's worse; Yaku's brutal bluntness or Suga's brutally happy sarcasm. They both pack a package that's hard to stomach.

"Uh—" Hajime's stuttering and stuttering is never a go in Suga's books. He has to find a way to gain some time to sort this out with Shiro before he can even let Yaku and Suga within a hundred meters of this place. And how where they even going to explain Shiro? The landlord? There were so many cover stories to be written Hajime isn't sure how they're going to do this.

"I'll send Kuroo your way. It's hard to find this place." Is what Hajime ends up with.

Thank every deity in existence that Suga buys his time-buying bluff and doesn't question it.

"We're giving prayer to your old place so tell him to find us there. See you later, Iwaizumi."

All Hajime hopes is the later comes as late as it can get.

* * *

 

"Why is the muscly one so jumpy?" Tooru asks, hand on his cheek as he watches Iwaizumi walk in and out of view of the kitchen like he's practicing his pin-needle walking act. Tooru rips a part of his milk-bread and throws it into his mouth. Weird. He'd thought it would take more to turn the guy's face into a wet weekend.

"The same reason I'm on the verge of an aneurysm," Shiro slams downs a cup of milk on the table right where Tooru's leaning. "You've eaten your share of milk-bread to last you a life time. I would appreciate if you could leave."

"But, _Shiro-chan_." Tooru replaces his hand with the edge of the wooden table as he melts into the chair. Tooru is bored as hell and depressed after several locating spells ending in failure. If he can't even find it with the bloodhound blood he'd kept for desperate calls, then the only way he's ever going to find out where his pelt is by getting back his erased memory. Which had been erased with the most powerful forgetting item to ever exist. What joy his life is. "Why would I leave? I thought you loved me."

"What part of my annoyed demeanor screams love for you?!" She points to the living room. " _Out._ "

Tooru pouts and rips more of his milk-bread to place in his mouth. "If I stay quiet, can I stay here?" Because if he can't stay here, then he's going to have to stay alone in his room. Or in vicinity of Iwaizumi. He doesn't mind the brute much; he just doesn't understand why Iwaizumi had wanted him to stay. Tooru can't think of a single reason no matter how much he racks his brain about. If Iwaizumi had known about Tooru's history then maybe Tooru would have thought Iwaizumi would do it for the benefits. But Iwaizumi's a human so he can't possibly have that knowledge or even profit.

Shiro deadpans, her face more unbelievable than Tooru's when he'd still thought they were lying to him. "Can you really? Do you think it's possible for you to stay silent for more than a moment?"

"Of course!"

A pause.

Tooru watches as Iwaizumi comes back into view. Why had he wanted him to stay if not of pity? It makes no sense.

"What do you think he thinks of me?"

"You stayed very quiet for a moment there. I thought you were finally going to keep your word." Shiro sighs. She follows Tooru's sight, "Who, Hajime? He thinks you need help and he's offering his services. His very awful, awkward services but his services nonetheless."

Tooru could've figured that one out. Iwaizumi wanted to help him; he understands that but— "Yes but why?" Why would anyone help someone he'd glimpsed the real side of? The part of him under the mask that people never see coming? Tooru had always thought if people knew of how weak he could be; of how petty he really is, they'd all scoff, make fun of him and leave. Sure Tooru doesn't care at all about those hypocrites, but if Iwaizumi's first impression of him had been that; why was he still around? Why did he want Tooru around?

"Because he wants to help you."

Tooru switches gazes to address Shiro. _Because he wants to help you_. What kind of naive reasoning was that? There was no reason in that actually; just childish instinct. Maybe it was a human trait? But that still doesn't explain it. "Why does he want to help me? I'm nothing to him." He's nothing to everyone. He's nothing to Ten-chan; nothing to Shira-chin, nothing to Shiro-chan; nothing to Iwaizumi. And absolutely, totally, definitely nothing to Ushijima Wakatoshi.

"You're someone he wants to help. That's something and probably enough for him." Tooru feels like Shiro is just looping around the same answer, like she's trying to force him to find the answer on his own. It's something Wakatoshi had never allowed. Thinking for oneself. He'd always reprimand Tooru for not thinking yet he'd never given Tooru the opportunity to do so. How was he supposed to listen to him? Listen to something so controversial and hypocritical? How could Ten-chan still believe _Wakatoshi loves ya. But not the way ya think he should_. What way was Wakatoshi's twisted love? Tooru doesn't want to think about it.

"You truly left the Sainetto Society, didn't you?"

Tooru allows himself a proud smile at that. He can always think about Iwaizumi's reasoning after he boasts about the decision that was his pride and joy. "Of course." He swishes his hand loftily through the air. "Best decision of my life."

"Not many people think so." Shiro begins. Tooru nearly grimaces. Shiro-chan was one of those? Another stranger planning to reprimand him and thinking they could convince him to go back to the guild in some hopes of gaining favor to get invited themselves? Tooru hated those peoples. If they wanted to join the guild, why couldn't they practice their skills instead of badgering a previous guild member?

Shiro; however, continues a different thought. "I'm not one of them. Congratulations."

Tooru never thought he'd find someone who'd congratulate his quitting. He'd been surrounded by people who only purpose in life seemed to convince him to go back. It's nice to hear someone agree with him for once.

A simper appears on his lips. "Thank you, Shiro-chan."

Shiro begins to cook up some vegetables in a skillet. Tooru is just about to get up and leave to test another finding spell he'd just remembered when Shiro says, "May I ask a favor of you?"

That was strange. A favor from Kokkuri-san herself? Tooru is intrigued. He isn't much of a people-pleaser anymore as he is a slave-driver but that doesn't stop him from being curious. What could Shiro-chan possible want from an ex-Swan Guild Member?

"State your favor, Shiro-chan."

"The swans," Tooru remembers something else, something important about the Kozume Shrine. The earlier God of this shrine had gone missing. Was Shiro-chan going to ask about him? "Did they ever... Talk about... The previous Kozume deity?" Tooru feels like he's looking in a mirror. Seeing someone with the same pain he sees in himself. Same cracks, same rough edges. He wants to help so badly. He knows how that feels; he knows. He thinks. Did any of the swans ever speak about Kozume Kenma?

"I don't recall them ever speaking about him specifically, "he begins slowly, putting pieces of puzzles together, " _but_ ," he emphasizes that a lot, "I remember Shira-chin giving a fortune, and the fortune had the explicit mention of the deity of a dog shrine."

He sees Shiro clenches the fabric around her chest "Shirabu Kenjirou? The lawyer?"

Tooru nods. "Yes, the lawyer."

The fist encloses into a tighter ball. "Thank you."

* * *

 

If there was ever a time Morisuke wanted to murder someone, it was now.

What kind of 'friend' in their right state of mind would carelessly neglect to tell his friends that their apartment had burned to the ground? If Morisuke was in his right mind, he would hunt down the idiot who had caused the fire and pummel him. But he wasn't, so when one Kuroo Tetsurou appears in his vicinity, he punches him.

"Ok, ow. Not sure what I did to deserve that but it's great to know you're still in good form, Yaku."

"For being stupid and not telling us your apartment had burned the fuck down." Dammit he was cursing again. He was doing so well too.

"Long time no see, Tetsu," Suga grinds his knuckle into Kuroo's stomach with a toothy grin and the idiot _oof_ '. Morisuke smirks. At least the jerk was getting what he deserved. "How've you been?"

"Good. Great. I'd be better if I could get rid of this new punching-bag status." Yaku scoffs. Same Old Kuroo. Well, Same Old Kuroo plus one burned down apartment.

"What's the story with the apartment? How'd it collapse?" Suga asks, chuckling after getting out of a hug Kuroo had forced him into, then eyeing the construction site that has been Kuroo's apartment. Kuroo looks to Morisuke and Morisuke musters up the greatest 'not happening' expression he can. Kuroo frowns.

"Three guesses to whose kitchen fire caused it," Kuroo quizzes grinningly and while Suga laughs at the split-second realization, Morisuke is suddenly ten times more exasperated as he demands incredulously, "It was Lev?!" A deadly expression crosses Morisuke's face as he cracks his knuckles, "I'm gonna kill him." No, Morisuke's going to destroy some sense into his stupid, fire-starting kouhai. What was Kyoutani thinking, leaving him alone? Morisuke can't blame Kyoutani though, it's the Russian idiot's fault and _Morisuke is going to kill him_.

"So where'd they put the pyromaniac?" Suga whips a tear from his eye. That was a good question. Hopefully, they'd placed him somewhere far away from civilization, maybe a cabin out in the woods where Lev didn't have anything to destroy. Morisuke has fears; however, that even in somewhere so remote, Lev could probably single-handedly increase the risk of global warming by ten percent. Morisuke's glad when Suga retracts his question and asks a different one. Morisuke had nearly turned Lev into an urban legend.

"Actually, no, where are our captain and his vice staying? I mean, if you had to come escort us then this place must be really remote." Suga raises an eyebrow. Morisuke is on the same train of thought. If Kuroo and Iwaizumi were in a tent again...

"It's, well—" Kuroo rubs the back of his head. Morisuke does not take that as a good sign.

"It's what, Kuroo? Spit it out."

Kuroo doesn't spit it out. In fact, He leaves it to their imaginations and delusions with the words: "—you'll see it when you get there."

* * *

 

This is exactly why Kenjirou hates working with gods. They take too much initiative because they think everyone else is beneath them and their godly reasons (which is a bunch of bull in Kenjirou's opinion). Everyone knew the familiar of Kozume Shrine was anything but stupid and Terushima had just unleashed her on their trail.

Stupid-ass gods and their stupid-ass personalities.

"That's it, I swear, she just knows I was looking for the mallet. She doesn't know anything about the guild." Terushima informs Wakatoshi for the nth time. Kenjirou promptly blows a fuse.

"She shouldn't even know that you were even looking for the mallet!" The last thing they need is a powerful spirit on their trail, especially considering particular secrets they have hidden from that particular spirit. Who knows how she'd ever react if she found out any of those bones in the wrong order. Probably mass murder of anyone with so much as half an association with anyone related to the guild.

"I believe you." Kenjirou sends a threatening deadpan look over to Wakatoshi who can't really see it from where he's sitting across from Kenjirou at the round table.

Terushima sighs in relief as Kenjirou states, "Wakatoshi-san, I don't think this is a matter of believing the god but rather having to deal with the repercussions the god may have put us in." Like setting a daughter of Kokkuri, one of the greatest spirits in the last centuries, on their tail, just because Terushima thought it was a good idea to fucking kiss the bitch. Kenjirou respects Wakatoshi greatly, but this is not something to be taken lightly.

"If what Terushima says is true, we have no reason to worry." Wakatoshi turns to Kenjirou, who, frankly, is about to boil over in rage at the stupid-ass God who's blowing him a silent raspberry from across the table. Maybe the bigger problem was the deity who entrusted their shrine to Terushima of all people. However, Kenjirou's isn't sure what to expect much from beings who thought kissing was the appropriate transaction to initiate a familiar contract. He should take that case to court next.

"Is there any word on Tooru?" Wakatoshi asks solemnly and it takes everything Kenjirou has in him not to scrap a hand down his face in exasperation. If every problem Ushijima Wakatoshi ever had could be traced back to one source, it would all double back to his brother Tooru. Kenjirou is not a family guy; he doesn't get all these bonds and relationships that come with blood. How can one go so far for someone who just threw it all away just because they were their brother? How can Wakatoshi go so far for someone who threw away his name and took another one just so no one could tie them together anymore? How long will it take for Wakatoshi to realize Tooru— _Oikawa_ will never understand anything he's done for him?

"No." Kenjirou pinches the bridge of his nose. He still has a case to get to after this and it's already giving him a headache. He doesn't even give a fuck about the appeal for draconic rights but more work is more money so he shouldn't be complaining. "Tendou-san took his pelt, but other than that, we don't know where—"

"Oh, Oikawa's at the Kozume Shrine if you're wondering." Kenjirou snaps his head so quickly he feels like his neck might snap. He levels Terushima's stupid grin a glare hot enough to melt steel. Did this stupid god have any other purpose in life other than to further ruin their plans?

" _Excuse me?_ " Kenjirou has had it with this asshole. First Terushima had nearly spilled their plans to the number one person they absolutely did not want to find out. Then he'd just left the only other person who could actually piece together their plans with Kozume Kenma's murderous dead man switch? Did this guy's divinity get to his head? Was he mental? Kenjirou stands up, nearly closing his hand around the wand in his pocket before Wakatoshi asks, "Is he alright?"

Terushima waves a hand nonchalantly. "He'll be fine. She had to use lethe water to remove the curse so it's a win-win situation for us."

Kenjirou pauses mid-wand grab and peeks at Wakatoshi as he nods. "That's understandable." Kenjirou gives himself another minute and then sighs and sits down. He'd thought Wakatoshi would disapprove of their methods to get their hands on Oikawa's pelt but it looks like, despite his feelings, he'd deemed it necessary.

"We still require the mallet." Ushijima reminds and Kenjirou realizes this is going to be one long, long weekend.

* * *

 

"Good afternoon. My name is Shiro. I'm the local shrine maiden and landlord of this establishment. This is my brother, Tooru. It's such a wonderful opportunity to meet Tetsurou and Hajime's friends. However, I have duties I must attend. I'm terribly sorry. Please enjoy this tea and have a nice stay." Iwaizumi and Tetsu's landlord deadpans with the most emotionless tone ever before promptly exiting stage left.

Koushi is part impressed, part amused, part suspicious and part concerned. He's impressed with the wonderful living arrangements Tetsu and Iwaizumi have found. They deserve something like this; an authentic Japanese shrine turned inn where they can fulfill their needs and enjoy the quiet of the forest at the same time.

His amusement comes from the added shine in Tetsu's eyes and the looks he sends the shrine maiden when he thinks no one is looking. Koushi isn't so sure how he feels about his friend pursing a woman of god, but he's never seen his friend this alive and happy ever since Kenma disappeared. Koushi is happy for him. Mori might disagree with that one thought with the glares he sendsTetsu's way.

He's suspicious because it all seems a little too good to be true. He's happy Iwaizumi and Tetsu have found such a nice, cheap, affordable place to stay in, but because it's so nice, cheap and affordable in such a convenient time space, Koushi has his growing doubts.

The last part he feels, the concern, is surprisingly not for Tetsu nor Iwaizumi (or Mori whose about to blow his top) but for the landlord's brother. He seems a little... off to Koushi and he isn't sure why. Maybe he'll chat him up later.

When the shrine maiden leaves with her brother in tow, Koushi believes it's safe to say that Mori loses it.

"Can someone please explain to me," Mori begins and Koushi gives him props for staying so calm during those entire introductions (even if Koushi could nearly hear him grind his teeth trying to stay polite), "Why Kuroo was making eyes at the shrine maiden."

"Because she was cute?" Koushi supplies with a grin and an eyebrow. Mori whirls on him.

" _Excuse me_ —"

"You're always excused, Mori." Koushi comments grinningly.

"—But did you forget she's an — oh I don't know — a _shrine maiden_?!"

"A pretty shrine maiden." Tetsu supplies, helpfully to Koushi but unhelpfully to Mori, who's on the verge of an aneurysm.

"She's a fucking shrine maiden!"

"But she's a shrine maiden, Mori. She doesn't do the first part." Koushi blinks innocently at Mori. Mori glares at him from where he'd stood up during the conversation and then lets out a breath and plunkss back down.

"You know what? Have it your way. But if any of you come crying to me because of shrine maiden rejection and chastity, I'm gonna laugh and say 'I told you so.'"

Koushi laughs. "Well, now that that's over." Koushi turns to Tetsu and Iwaizumi. There's a few interesting questions he'd like answers to and Koushi will gauge how suspicious this arrangement really is from their answers. He repositions himself so he's more comfortable on the floor is the spacious living room. "How exactly did you and Tetsu find this place? It's really cozy."

Iwaizumi and Tetsu exchange a glance that has Koushi worried. Even when it looks like Tetsu's the one who's going to explain, it's Iwaizumi that drops the bomb.

"This used to be… Kenma used to live here."

A pin drop can be heard in the brief silence that issues. Koushi finds his first reason to frown this evening. Kenma... used to live here? Is that why he'd never let them visit? Because he was — Koushi doesn't even know what word to use to expect— embarrassed that he was living in a shrine? Why was Kenma even living in a shrine in the first place? Where were— _where were his parents?_

It's last question that unsettles Koushi the most. Sure there'd been a lot of mystery surrounding one Kozume Kenma, but to know his friend has been shrouded in so much more questionable than he'd originally believed? A prick of pain in his heart agrees with him that it hurts.

"How did you find this place, Kuroo?" It's Mori who recovers first. Koushi sends a glance his way. Mori had addressed Tetsu even when Iwaizumi was the one who's spoken. Koushi can't blame him there— Tetsu had been the one who'd never known how to give up. Koushi still feels the pain in his chest. He rubs a little at the area, trying unsuccessfully to sooth the hurt there. _Why Kenma? Why couldn't you trust us enough to tell us? What were you afraid of?_

The Kenma in Koushi's mind he addresses doesn't look at him and walks away.

"Well—" Tetsu begins but Iwaizumi answers again.

"This place found us." Iwaizumi explains, the hard lines of his face telling no lies. "The previously landlord, Shi— Oikawa's mother, she was Kenma's caretaker. She died and then when Kenma disappeared, her daughter didn't know what to do with Kenma's stuff until eventually she found us when she dug through some of his things."

"And she let you stay here instead?" Mori questions. Iwaizumi nods. Koushi doesn't find anything suspicious in the explanation nor does he find anything in it that might raise suspicion. All he finds is sadness because even the Kenma they had known; even he hadn't been the complete one.

"So Kenma was an orphan this whole time..."

Koushi doesn't realize his slip up until Tetsu says, " _Is_ an orphan." Koushi raises his eyes from where they'd met the floor to look at Tetsu. He lets himself smile at the never-ending determination he sees in the lines of Tetsu's face. "He's still an orphan and now he's lost to boot." "

"I'm gonna kill him." Mori declares, startlingly everyone in the living room. Koushi believes that hope is contiguous; a fire which burns everything in its path. He sees it not only in Tetsu but in Mori and Iwaizumi too. Koushi sees the candle relight in Mori's face and a firmness he hasn't seen in a while. "When we find Kenma, I'm going to kill him."

 _When_. Koushi had always liked the word 'when' even when it was so much more of an 'if' situation. But if his friends say they are going to find Kenma then Koushi will believe them.

"Is that one of those tsundere 'if you die I'll kill you' behavioral traits?"

Koushi blinks as the shrine maiden comes in with a tray of tea and places it on the table. When he registers her comment he lets out a laugh and then laughs a little harder when Mori's face floods with red after she says, "It's rather adorable."

While wiping a year from his eye, Koushi lets himself peek at Tetsu and stifles another chortle with a toothy grin when, sure enough, there's a bit of a frown tugging at Tetsu's lips.

Koushi helps her out with the tea distribution and insists on carrying back the tray to the kitchen. She lets him after much an argument and then Koushi finds himself in a shrine maiden's kitchen with another bewildered occupant stuffing his face with milk-bread while doing a science experiment.

"Is that safe?" Koushi knows eating and experimenting is not something that should be mixed but maybe this man — did Shiro call him Tooru? — knew more than he did. At least he thinks it's a science experiment. There are a lot of flasks with weirdly colored liquids involved. One of them even sparkles.

Tooru eyes him warily, swallowing down the bread. Then he smirks. "Not really. Are you going to tell on me?"

Koushi grins back. He knows exactly how to get under this type's shell. His teaching profession was nothing to laugh at. "Nope! I'll just stay over here and make sure you don't kill yourself."

Tooru blinks owlishly and Koushi chuckles. Two blinks later, Tooru let out a humph and goes back to his weird experiment. "I'm not going to kill myself doing something so simple."

Koushi feels that there are words left unsaid after that. That Tooru had wanted to add something at the end; to tell Koushi what would kill him but had decided last second not to say anything. Koushi finds a frown on his lips thinking that.

"Hey, um, Tooru, was it?"

"Oikawa." Tooru—Oikawa interrupts.

Koushi simpers. "Oikawa." If Koushi remembers correctly, 'Oikawa' means 'reaching the river' and Tooru means 'to go through'. Koushi likes that name. He feels it could steady one's feet when they were shaken with its powerful meanings like 'to go through' and 'to reach.' He wonders if Oikawa's mother had thought it would help him with life she'd come up with it.

"I know we're strangers and all." Koushi begins. They're a little less than strangers with the connections Oikawa has with both Tetsu and Iwaizumi (and maybe even Kenma) but strangers nonetheless. "But you look like you might need someone to talk to." Koushi quickly raises his hands up in defense as Oikawa's eyes narrow in suspicion. "I'm not saying you have to talk about it or anything! Or even if you actual have something you need to get off your chest but..."

Maybe Koushi had come on a little too strong with his helping a stranger act. He chuckles nervously and rubs the back of his head. His occupational disease gets to him sometimes before he can think properly. "If you want you can talk to me," Koushi backtracks a bit. Too strong is an understatement. "I mean, I'm sure you could talk to your sister and all but if you'd like you I could lend you an ear or even give you advice and—

"Why?"

Koushi stops and looks back at Oikawa. Why? Why wouldn't he want to help someone in need? Who would just walk away when someone looked like the needed help? How could anyone be so cruel?

"Because I want to help?" Even Koushi's answer comes off as a questioning statement. He's just stunned that someone would ask why he wanted to help them rather than how or even refuse. The expression on Oikawa's face turns into something disbelieving but his disbelief doesn't travel into his words as he cheerily declares, "I appreciate your heart-warming gesture Refreshing-kun however as you can see," Oikawa gestures to his sparkle-coated self with a smirk, "I'm right as rain and don't really like nosey people much."

Koushi represses quite a few emotions behind a nervous smile, like a grimace, a deadpan, an annoyed frown. "I'm sorry for—"

"Oh but see, you're really _not_ so I suggest you leave. Maybe now." Oikawa says with a sophisticated finger and a smirking glare. "Unless you'd like a boot in a more forceful way."

Koushi holds up his hands in defeat. You win some, you lose some. "I'm leaving."

Oikawa waves him off just as Koushi adds, "I'm Suga, by the way."

"And you're leaving. Isn't that convenient?"

Koushi thinks he started off on the very wrong foot with such a disagreeable guy.

* * *

 

It had been perfect. They'd been able to keep the magic secret under wraps all throughout Friday, Saturday and half of Sunday. Sure Suga and Yaku had been very skeptical with Shiro's over-bearing need to take care of them but they'd pass it off when Kuroo had said, "She hasn't had guests in a while. You know… since Kenma."

And even the few instances when Shiro or Oikawa had used magic, Hajime had been able to steer clear of all the rooms Shiro had been folding clothes with branches (again, for fuck's sake, can that woman let him deal with his own underwear?) and all the other rooms Oikawa had turned into ice-skating rings. Hajime has no idea what Suga did to piss the guy off (he didn't even know Suga was capable of making people mad) but Oikawa seems to take every opportunity to make Suga slip on some ice. Suga had been bewildered with all the falling he'd been doing but passed it off as his own clumsiness.

" _Oikawa._ " Hajime stomps into the bastard's room after shutting the door behind him, "I swear to god if they find out about this whole magic thing because of you, I'm going to—"

"You're going to what exactly? I can turn you into a popsicle with a swish of my hand." Oikawa yawns mockingly. Hajime is going to find a way to pummel him, icicle or not. He doesn't get what this guy's problem is. Suga had been nothing but civil and polite to him. He'd get it if Oikawa was doing this to Kuroo or him but Suga? Sometimes, Hajime can't believe he wanted to help this guy.

Hajime takes a deep breathe. He needs to stay calm and collected so he can handle this bastard. _Kill them with kindness_. Suga had said once. Seriously, how could anyone not like Suga?

"Listen, can you please just stop being an asshole for one day?" Hajime can't say he didn't try. At least he got the 'please' part right. How do people do this fake politeness thing? It hurts his soul. But Suga doesn't fake it, he's generally nice and polite (and quite sarcastic) and why would anyone— "Why do you even have against Suga in the first place?"

"I don't have anything against him. I just don't like him very much." Oikawa points out.

He then lays down on his bed and squishes his head into a pillow as Hajime deadpans, "What are you, five? Get over yourself."

Oikawa straightens up quickly after that, "Why doesn't he get over his niceties and tell me what he really thinks?" Here Oikawa makes a very bad imitation of Suga, "'You look like you need help.' Of course I need to get over this! I don't need him to remind of that! Let alone offer it."

Hajime is left very, very confused after that as Oikawa buries his head in a pillow again. "You're mad at Suga because he wanted to help you?" Then anger boils into Hajime because what kind of fucked up reasoning is that? Oikawa is mad because Suga wanted to help him? How the fuck could he be mad about something like that?

Hajime hears a scoff from the pillow. "You wouldn't understand."

Hajime sees some red at this point. What the hell is he not going to understand? That Oikawa is some stuck-up prick who doesn't want help from anyone because it might hurt his pride? Does Hajime even want to understand something so stupid? What the fuck was this guy's problem?

Hajime finds his fist in Oikawa's shirt before he can stop himself and he lifts Oikawa's surprised face to meet his own. "No, I don't fucking understand. I'll never understand because you never say anything. How the hell are we supposed to understand anything if you don't say anything? How the hell is anyone supposed to know what you want when you're always quiet?"

Oikawa doesn't look at him. "I want you to leave."

Hajime's boiling rage thins as he wrenches his hand away from Oikawa's shirt and stomps out of the room. "Fine. Keep screwing yourself over for all I care. See if that changes anything."

Hajime never sees the wide crack he'd left in Oikawa's mask.

* * *

 

Tetsurou is in a pickle.

On one hand, Suga and Yaku are leaving in the afternoon so they'll finally be able to breathe without fear of slipping up on the magic side of things. On the other hand, Oikawa seems to have picked a fight with everyone in the household and none of them seem to be resolving themselves.

He'd expected this from Iwaizumi. Those two don't seem like the type that would mesh well. He hadn't really expected Oikawa to have a problem with Suga of all people, but from what Suga had told him, that seemed to all Oikawa. Yaku had never been the type to warm to people quickly so he doesn't really count and Shiro doesn't really count either since Oikawa just bugs her with his presence.

Tetsurou hates fighting and he hates when it's between his friends the most. Sure he hasn't known Oikawa for long but he likes the guy and thinks he'd make a great addition to their group. If only they could do something about that personality of his.

Tetsurou finds himself at Oikawa's door just as it slides opens and Shiro comes out.

"Took you long enough. Please knock some sense into that disastrous head of his. Iwaizumi's tapping gives me a headache."

Tetsurou grins and salutes. "Roger that."

"Please make it quick as well. I'd like you to come with me for some shopping."

Tetsurou finds his heart quicken a beat at the mention of shopping with Shiro. He really needs to get to screwing Oikawa's head back on so he has time to screw his own back into place because he should not be this ecstatic at the prospect of shopping. "Got it."

Shiro leaves and Tetsurou steps into the room. "Oikawa? You in here?"

"Yes, I'm in here. This is my room last time I checked." Comes the exasperated response. "That doesn't seem to stop anyone from barging in here."

"Sorry. Want a due over?"

"Just come in." A mumble comes after that that Tetsurou nearly misses, "You're the only one I actually tolerate in this place."

"Aw, I'm touched man. Do we have a heartwarming, man on man hug now?"

Oikawa chuckles. He's sitting at the front of the bed with his arms around his pulled up knees. Tetsurou always finds that that position not a good one to be in.

Tetsurou crosses over until he reaches the foot of the bed and opens up his arms. Oikawa raises a confused eyebrow.

"Where's my hug?" Tetsurou shakes his arms and Oikawa scoffs at him, "Don't leave me hanging here."

"You can't be serious." Oikawa curls up a little more after he says that. Tetsurou would normally take that as a sign to pounce but he knows that some people don't do hugs so he's stops there.

"Well, only if you want to." Tetsurou drags a chair over and sits on it backwards facing Oikawa. "Ok, what gives? I know you don't like beating around the bush even though it is your favorite pastime but whatever. What's up?"

"Your wit astounds me." Oikawa deadpans in dead cheer. He looks away from Tetsurou and further wraps his arms around his knees. "Aren't your friends leaving today? Shouldn't you be spending time with them?"

"Well, I should, but one of them is worried sick about being so rude and the other one is one step away from going off the deep end and the third one," Tetsurou thinks about the best way to describe Yaku's — as Shiro is poetically put it— _tsundere_ antics, "He's always like that so he doesn't count."

"Well, forgive me for being the wet blanket to your wonderful parade of friendship, but I have some issues." Oikawa grimaces at his own words. "Did I really just say that?"

"Yup." Tetsurou supplies. This is the first time Oikawa's said anything or given any hints about his problems and Tetsurou's going to milk this chances for all their worth. "So what kind of 'issues' do you have?"

Oikawa stiffens even more than he had been and Tetsurou feels like he just poked a landmine.

"Family issues." Tetsurou can physically see the pain in Oikawa's face. If it's from calling them 'family issues' or confirming to himself that yes, they are 'family issues', Tetsurou isn't sure. All he knows is that Oikawa needs to do something about this before it continues to hurt him further.

"Listen, Oikawa," Tetsurou just hopes he doesn't cross too many lines with the someone who can turn him into a snowman, "I get that you don't want to talk about it and that you really want to deal with it yourself. I really, _really_ do." Tetsurou had his own family issues but the steamed from outside causes more than inner ones. Either way, they really hurt. "But sometimes, you just gotta tell someone about it. It's a real load off and it helps you to think better. And maybe that someone can help you out and give you a new perception on the matter."

Oikawa looks at him for the first time that evening with a sharp glare at the edge of his gaze. "And why exactly should I accept this 'help'? Doesn't that mean that I'm... that I'm," Tetsurou waits until Oikawa whispers, "that I'm weak?"

Tetsurou can't help the grin that spreads on his face. That's what Oikawa was worried about? Being weak? He can almost feel a laugh bubble up. It's funny how something Tetsurou himself used to agonize over gets thrown back in his face all the time. It must be fate's way of reminding him how stupid he had been.

"Asking for help doesn't make you weak, Oikawa," Tetsurou remembers these words so clearly. He can still see Iwaizumi screaming them at him, "Asking for help means that you're strong enough to know your boundaries and what you need to overtake them. It takes courage to ask for help and that's what makes you strong."

Oikawa blinks at him. It's a long, long minute before he says anything. "I hadn't thought about it that way."

"Most people don't. That's why they have friends to remind them of that," Tetsurou says and then remembers that Iwaizumi didn't really tell him. He, more like, beat it in to him but it's the thought that counts.

"I," Oikawa begins, "I don't really have friends."

"Dude, come on, I'm your friend," Tetsurou can't believe he's doing this But You're Not Really My Friend Thing thing at twenty-three. "Shiro's your friend. Iwaizumi's your friend. Suga wants to be your friend. I'm sure, deep down, Yaku doesn't mind you as much as he lets on."

Another long pause and Tetsurou swears he sees Oikawa's eyes shine. Maybe it's time Tetsurou leaves him alone for a bit.

"I'll think about it." Is Oikawa's final statement.

* * *

 

This place is as fishy as the sashimi Morisuke ate for breakfast. No pun intended. He's not Matsukawa.

Besides Iwaizumi's and Kuroo's constant need to tour him around the shrine and Suga's sudden clumsiness, it's just plain weird.

The weirdest thing by far is the shrine maiden. She had insisted for them to stay here instead of the hotel he and Suga had been planning to book and had cooked them three meals a day and fussed over them so much. But then there is no end to her sass, snide remarks and teasing. Morisuke is really confused and plain frustrated as to why she call all of them by first name but there's no way he's going to ask her. She just doesn't act like a shrine maiden in Morisuke's books. Shouldn't a shrine maiden be more, maidenly? Smiley and always breaking plates while sweeping away at the same spot every morning?

Morisuke concedes that he might just be stereotyping. Of course shrine maidens have their own personalities. He blames it all on the anime Yukie makes him watch.

Morisuke isn't one to snoop, he really isn't but when he sees Kuroo and the Shrine maiden leave he takes this as an opportunity to 'accidentally' wonder around the shrine.

It's a pretty big place. There's an entire corridor separating the living room, kitchen and other things from the rooms and Morisuke always feels like he's actually worked a bit when he walks the length of the corridor. At both ends they spilt up both ways. If you turn left there are some bathrooms and if you turn right, they are are more rooms.

Morisuke's been in the entire right side of the shrine. He hasn't really explored the left one because Shiro goes that way at night and doesn't want to intrude on her privacy. But it isn't really intruding if she isn't here, right?

Before he reaches the end of the corridor there is one room he's never been into. It's right next to the living room and when Morisuke slides open the door he isn't really sure if he should laugh or cry.

The room is filled with shelf upon shelf of gaming and anime merchandise. The right wall is made up of figures on one part and loads and loads of manga on the other. The left side has a huge TV in the middle and either side of it are baskets full of games for every console Morisuke's ever heard of.

He doesn't really want to explore this room (which screams Kenma's and every single inch of it) but he has the sudden urge to check something so he steps in momentarily.

There's a PS3 hooked up to the system and Morisuke hesitates before he slides open the CD part.

A bitter huff escapes him. There's a game in there. Kenma had left a game in his PS3. The only mundane problem that could have ever made Kenma mad before was leaving a game in a system. He'd always fought with Kuroo and Bokuto when they'd done it and Kenma had left a game in there... meaning...

Kenma hadn't planned on a long leave.

Morisuke quickly slams it shut and leaves the room. He's done enough exploring for the day.

* * *

 

_Calm down, me. It's shopping. Just shopping. Not a date. Not a date._

Tetsurou peeks at Shiro and then lowers his gaze and then quickly turns away when the heat in his face becomes too much.

For some odd reason Tetsurou is secretly grateful for even if he doesn't want to admit it, Shiro is in a dress.

It's not anything short. It's a long white flowery fabric dotted with yellow floral that just touches her ankles. She isn't wearing any sort of straw hat to compliment it (thank god) but she has hair bundled in a side ponytail which more or less is having the same effect on Tetsurou's crushing heart.

"Is there something you'd like to stay or are you just going to stand there slack-jawed idiot?" Shiro asks sweet as honey and sharp as a dagger. Tetsurou coughs into his fist. Shiro is still Shiro no matter what she wears.

"I, uh, was wondering why you were wearing a dress." _Dammit, me._ Why can't he be smooth and collected around Shiro? It's throwing off his game so much. Though, some of his friends would argue that he had no game in the first place. Damn Yaku for destroying his confidence. And Iwaizumi. And Suga. And the meme team. Damn basically all of them at least a little and their collective need to use him as a verbal whipping post.

Shiro turns away from him and tries to do something with her hands and then seems to realize she can't and leaves them at her sides and why, oh why, does Tetsurou find that cute? He's so far gone it's not even funny.

"Some people find it odd when others were traditional Japanese clothing nowadays. I do not like to raise suspicion." And then she unknowingly attacks him with her next statement by asking, "Why are asking? Does it look strange?" She peers down at her own dress "I haven't bought anything new in a while. Have the fashion trends changed?"

"No, I just— No it doesn't— I mean, it's really pretty— They haven't changed— ah, it's fine." Any attempts Tetsurou may have had at being suave promptly vanish.

Shiro takes a minute to assess his face and Tetsurou is praying to every God in existence to end his suffering before he does something even more stupid. But then, instead of it ending, he's blessed with the miracle that is Shiro smiling and he should buy himself a present.

"Thank you, Tetsurou."

"Don't mention it." Tetsurou has the palm is his hand covering his entire face and realizes this trip is going to kill him.

They're in a supermarket soon after that and Shiro wrings out of him Suga and Yaku's favorite foods. Tetsurou hasn't been a supermarket since forever and all the times he'd gone had been to buy instant ramen. It's nice and real domestic to be in one and get some actual food.

"So Koushi likes these," Shiro laments, holding up a bag is frozen tofu and Tetsurou halts mid-step. Koushi? He doesn't have time to ask about first name basis before Shiro states, "You haven't told me what you like yet, Tetsurou."

"Oh, it's ok," Shiro is already making so much. He can't ask her to make even more. "You don't have to—"

"Tetsurou." Shiro smiles at him dangerously. "What do you like?"

Tetsurou gulps. Why does his heart skip faster when she does that? Is Tetsurou a glutton for punishment? Wait, he's the god here, he can just order her to not ask him. But then she'll get mad and…

Tetsurou kind of wants to see that.

"Don't ask me what my favorite food is." He orders and Shiro's smile drops into a frown instantaneously. Shit. This isn't what he wanted.

"Oh... Forgive me, Tetsurou." No, Tetsurou doesn't want her to apologize to him when he was the one being the asshole. He feels a bit horrible now. "I hadn't intended to be forceful—"

"No, you weren't, I was just—" He was just what? Abusing his powers to see if Shiro would… if Shiro would force it out of him? He's such an asshole.

"Don't apologize, I was just…testing something out." Like that might it sound so much better. Dammit, what is wrong with him?

Instead of being mad or pissed, Shiro sets him up with a rather confused look. "Why do you do that?"

Tetsurou isn't sure what she means by 'that'. Is she talking about him trying out the order thing or— "Do what?"

"That." She pokes his forehead. "Why do you suddenly turn docile and self-loathing as soon as the situation turns serious? People may take advantage of that."

Docile and self-loathing? Tetsurou doesn't really do that, does he? He doesn't— "I don't hate myself." Well, sometimes he doesn't like himself but it isn't something as strong as loathing.

"I didn't imply you did," Shiro explains, walking down the aisle and picking up a bag of frozen vegetables. She peers at him sideways. "But that is what you appear like."

Tetsurou can look like that? This conversation has taken a weird turn. He isn't sure what to say or how to respond with that. They walk down a few more aisles in silence before Shiro says, "I'm not a big believer in loving yourself."

Tetsurou doesn't get to say anything before he laughs after she adds with a sophisticated finger, "Or pants for that matter."

Tetsurou doesn't really see it until later but there's a sad smile on Shiro's lips. "I find it difficult for someone to love themselves when they're the most privy to all their faults and mistakes. I do not believe it impossible or wrong to love someone with faults, every being has faults, but when it is someone so close, when it's yourself, it proves… difficult."

Tetsurou had never thought about it that way. He's not sure he agrees nor if what those words indicate sit well with him. Isn't it painful not to love yourself? Especially since you have to live with yourself every single second of your life like she had said. How could you hate someone so close?

"But," Shiro stresses and doesn't look away from him when she continues, "I find that loving someone else, giving a part of your heart to the people who deserve it, makes you forget how much you may loathe yourself."

There's nothing Tetsurou can add or comment on that. All he's left with is the dire need to have this one question answered.

"Do you," Tetsurou gulps, "Do you hate yourself?"

Shiro smiles at him and it's so empty Tetsurou almost wants to cry.

"Sometimes."

* * *

 

When Oikawa comes into his room, Hajime isn't sure what to think.

Oikawa walks in very carefully with a blanket wrapped around himself, glancing at Hajime every few moments as if waiting for him to say something. He sits down on the bed as Hajime crosses his arms and asses him from the desk chair he's sitting in himself.

"Well? Is there something you want to say?" Hajime demands. He's sick and tired of this guy and frankly, Hajime wouldn't mind if he really did pack and take a hike.

"I apologized," Oikawa begins, "to Suga-kun."

Hajime raises an eyebrow. What was with the sudden change of mind? Did someone else speak to him? Hajime still isn't going to be nice to him.

"If apologies fixed everything, then we wouldn't need a police force and prison." Is Hajime's firm reply. Hajime tries to ignore the wince in Oikawa's expression as hard as he can. He's in the right here. He can't back down because he feels bad for Oikawa now. Hajime shifts into a more comfortable position in the desk chair he's occupying.

"I have never tried to speak with the people around me about myself before," Oikawa says and then pulls out a paper from under the blanket. "I… I know I seem like an elitist but I'm actually not... the greatest with words." Oikawa hesitates before he presents the paper to Hajime and then eyes him with desperate courage. "I would appreciate if you could read this."

Hajime feels like he's reliving his middle school love letter ordeal all over again. Does this guy have to be so embarrassing? This is not how these things work and he can't believe this is actually happening the way it is. He can't say no when Oikawa's so genuine and raw and desperate in front of him. Hajime kind of put himself into this mess ever since he decided to help the guy so he has to see this through to the end.

Hajime clears his throat with a cough and takes the letter. "I'll look at it."

A lengthy silence occurs in which Hajime struggles with the realization that Oikawa wants him to read it _now_.

Why is he always stuck with all the embarrassing ones?

Hajime flips open the letter and begins to read.

**My name has not always been Oikawa Tooru.**

**I had a different last name before some incidents that changed the course of my wonderful life and am very glad I've gotten rid of it. Before the incidents, my name had been Ushijima Tooru. Horrible name, I know, but that had been my name.**

**I have a brother you see, his name is Ushijima Wakatoshi. Once upon a time I used to call him onii-chan but now he's stuck being the ever hilarious Ushiwaka-chan.**

**Anyway, my brother (here there are a lot of crossed out things and Hajime finally finds his place again after a moment) He was never really good at being a brother. His definition of love had been a constant need to scold me, point out my faults and embarrass me in public. You may think these things petty, I know most people do, but little by little, every twinge of agitation and pain I felt from these 'petty remarks' build up ever so slowly. Suddenly, I'd find myself ecstatic at the prospect of being away from my brother for elongated periods of time. I used to constantly avoid him even when he was in the house.**

**I didn't notice this for a long time, how much I'd unconsciously avoided him that is, until someone pointed it out. My brother's friend, Ten-chan, was speaking to me one day and as soon as my brother stepped into the room, I stepped out to go to the bathroom. When I returned, my brother was still speaking with Ten-chan and I waited until he left to re-enter the room. I still remember what Ten-chan said to me that day. He looked at me, with that weird face of his (Here Oikawa had drawn a rather crude drawing of this Ten-chan's face and Hajime hides a laugh at how bad it is) and he said:**

**"Funny how you and Wakatoshi are never in the same room at the same time. It's like you're avoiding him or something! It's kind of hilarious!"**

**I remember that he laughed at his own observation and I was stuck with the sudden realization that yes I do avoid my brother like the plague and yes we are almost never in the same room together.**

**For the lack of better word, lets says I was devastated at this realization. I had no idea why I did this nor when I started to do it. When I realized it, I felt so wrong and ashamed and shocked. What shook me the most was that I was doing this with my brother. Why would I avoid my brother? He's my** **brother** **.**

**And after a very long night I realized it. All those small remarks, all those scolds, all those harsh words, they hurt me so much that I avoided my brother so he wouldn't ever have the opportunity to say them. I had never realized this until now. I truly hadn't. After that night though, I was frustrated. I was furious. How could this happen? How could my brother do this to me? How can he live with himself knowing how much pain he's caused his own brother?**

**I need you to understand something. The hurt I felt is not the normal type. It wasn't that I was sad or embarrassed from his words. It's that I felt a physical pain in my heart, like a chain was being wrapped around it and tightened every time he said anything about me. It just pained me. I couldn't believe that my brother was doing this to me. He's my brother. How can my own brother cause me so much pain?**

**And so, after I gave Ushiwaka-chan a piece of my mind, I left. I left the house, the guild we were in, anything and everything just so I could never associate with someone who caused me so much pain again.**

**I'm (more crossed our words) I'm sorry I treated you like I did. My brother has always told me to not tell other people my secrets because it would make me weak. I hadn't realized that these weren't really secrets but problems I needed to get off my chest and issues I needed to talk about it with someone. I hadn't realized that asking for help was a sign of courage and not of weakness.**

**I apologize for causing trouble for you. Sometimes my brother's words work subconsciously.**

**So! What do you think of my miserable sob story? Are you tearing up? Do you feel sorry for all the harsh words you say to me? I hope you are because the great Oikawa-san doesn't forgive easily! And when this is and said and done and your friends leave, I think you and I need to go shopping to fix your horrid wardrobe. That's what (more crossed our words) friends do, right?**

**By the way, can I call you Iwa-chan?**

Hajime folds up the letter, takes in a deep breathe, realizes once again that this world is so big and yet so small at the very same time and peeks at Oikawa's expectant (and nervous) face.

"You can call me whatever the hell you want. Friends don't ask for permission for stuff like that. And I do _not_ have a 'horrid wardrobe.' Get over yourself."

And, for the second time, Oikawa gapes, jaw-dropped, like Hajime has just created an entire diss-track offending each and every one of Oikawa's ancestors individually, and Hajime smiles a little to himself. " _That's_ all you have to say?!"

* * *

 

Shiro makes all their favorites foods and by the time they're done eating it's time for Yaku and Suga to leave.

Tetsurou is kind of sad he won't be seeing them for a while but he's glad for the time he spent with them. He's a little jumpy with the whole loving/hating yourself ordeal he had with Shiro but he can figure it out after they see Yaku and Suga off at the train station.

Miraculously, the whole spirit-magic-god thing had yet to leak and Tetsurou thinks his luck has gotten a little better with all this.

Just as Suga and Yaku say their goodbyes to Shiro and Oikawa and step out, something huge, black, feathery and orange falls at their feet from the sky.

Everyone is star-struck for a moment. There is an orange-haired child on the floor, covered in blood and black feathers and weird protrusions out of back— no, Tetsurou realizes, not weird protrusions but wings. The word 'shit' runs a marathon in his mind.

Yaku's the first one to exclaim, "Is that— a kid?" He looks up. "Did he just, fall out of the freaking _sky_?"

Suga wonders over to the lump of limbs and rubs his eyes once before peers curiously at the new development. "Are those... wings?"

Shiro steps out, sprinkles some dust on both Yaku and Suga causing them both to cripple to the floor before Tetsurou can even move.

He's still staring at the lump of bird and human on the earthy ground. He's seen one of these before, a lot actually and it hits him at the same time Iwaizumi smacks his forehead in exasperation and says, "Fuck the tengu."

* * *

 

After the drama that is an unconscious redhead tengu and they somehow manage to get Yaku and Suga on the last train to Tokyo (with a little memory erasing courtesy of Shiro), Tetsurou opens his phone and finds that he's been added to a conversation with a lenny face as the title.

The other two people is the group are Matsukawa and Hanamaki, who've already taken the initiative and nicknamed themselves Mattsun and Makki respectively. Though for some reason, he's VirginRoadWalker69 and it only takes him a minute to catch up on the unread messages to figure out why. This must be Yaku's idea of revenge and Tetsurou isn't sure if it's worked or not.

**( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**Mattsun:** so u wanna fuck a shrine maiden?

 **Makki:** no mattsun he can't, with kuroo's luck she'll want to walk down the path of virginity.

 **Mattsun:** so no action for kuroo until wedding night?

 **Makki:** no action for kuroo until wedding night

 **Mattsun:** think he'll survive?

 **Makki:** betcha he'll make one of those 'do it for her' posters and stick to his wall

 **Mattsun:** more like 'do her'

 **Makki:** lol

 **Makki:** i have a perfect plan for when he walks down the aisle

 **Mattsun:** spill

 **Makki:** when he walk in i'll say 'here he comes'

 **Mattsun:** and i'll say 'dat boi' ?

 **Makki:** 'dat virgin boi'

 **Mattsun :** ' dat poor virgin boi'

 **Makki:** 'dat poor virgin pussy boi'

 **Mattsun:** ' dat boi who saw himself in between the shrine maiden's legs'

 **Makki :** NICE.

 **Makki:** that was a really good one

 **Makki:** i'll even forgive you for breaking the streak

 **Mattsun:** thanks

Tetsurou sometimes questions his sanity. And the sanity of his friends. And the sanity that brought them together in a weird, awkward knot. There isn't anything sane about it. He picked these guys over Dumped By His Girlfriend For Being Too Obsessed With Volleyball Daishou. Maybe he should rethink his life choices after he wipes the floor with their collective asses.

 **VirginRoadWalker69:** you two are disgusting

 **Makki:** HE LIVES!

 **Mattsun:** i'd like a rough estimate at how disgusting we are

 **Mattsun:** on a scale from zero to Daishou

Considering his high-school rival was cut from the same cloth that reminded Tetsurou of sickly sweet suck ups, Daishou's a pretty accurate measurement for how disgusting they both are. However, after some of the YouTube videos he's seen them both in, Matsukawa and Hanamaki are in a league of their own.

VirginRoadWalker69: you surpass him of course

(And what the fuck was up with his nickname?)

 **Makki:** how dare u compare us with that motherfucker

 **Mattsun:** we're way more disgusting than him.

 **Mattsun:** he's pure next to us

 **Makki:** too pure

These are his friends. Well at least he did good Iwaizumi, Yaku and Suga's way. Tetsurou is forgetting about the injured tengu they now have but it's not like he can do much to help Shiro. He really needs to practice his talisman or get Shiro to teach him some sort of magic so he won't feel so useless all the time. For now, though, he's stuck in his desk chair talking to the losers that are his friends.

 **VirginRoadWalker69:** I'm leaving the both of you

 **Makki:** no kuroo-kun come back

 **Mattsun:** kuroo-kun forgive us

 **Mattsun:** you know, for being actual pussy fuckers

 **Makki:** you slaying him so bad today Mattsun, I'm so proud

 **Mattsun:** I try

Or maybe he should go see some hands-on magic happening because he sure isn't getting anywhere with this conversation besides a loss of pride.

 **VirginRoadWalker69:** LEAVING

 **Makki:** ok before u go tell us one thing

Tetsurou's Meme Team Rader is going off. He's going to regret this. He's going to regret asking what Hanamaki wants; what they both want. He's going to regret this just as much as he regretted drinking that spoiled strawberry milk back in first year college to prove a point to Iwaizumi. He's never really drunk milk after that and if he already feels what's about to come is worse than his milk boycott then damn him if isn't going to face it head on.

 **VirginRoadWalker69:** fine what?

 **Makki:** what does she call you? kuroo-kun?

 **Mattsun:** kuroo-sama? Kuroo-dono?

Is it really a good idea to tell his YouTuber friends that the 'shrine maiden' calls him by first name? Probably not. He's still going to anyway. Maybe that will shut them up and prove to them he's got more luck with the ladies the both of them combined. Not considering that his lady is sort of a spirit, might be part animal and kind of a couple hundred years his senior. She's still down right crushing material in Tetsurou's books in every other aspect.

 **VirginRoadWalker69:** Tetsurou. Just Tetsurou

 **Mattsun:** the fucking shrine maiden calls you by first name? Is she trying to kill you?

 **Makki:** fuck mattsun calm down

 **Mattsun :** makki, she calls him by first name in the shrine maiden robes while sweeping and smiling and the sun hits her face in all the right places

 **Makki:** shit my heart skipped a beat

 **Mattsun :** exactly

Tetsurou grins. He feels powerful, like he's just won the lottery. The bickering continues and Tetsurou would've exercised more of his bragging rights if the stupid tengu didn't fly into his room in one hell of a feathery panic.

"W-who are you?! Why are you here?!" The tengu demands, albeit in a very shaken voice with an arm curled around his stomach. Both his knees knock together as he glares down Tetsurou though so Tetsurou takes it as a sign to fight back.

"And who are you?" Tetsurou leans over the tengu and the quivering increases. "It isn't very polite to start asking questions when you're the one who barged in here."

Tetsurou is sort of enjoying himself but not as much as he would if the tengu's arm wasn't in a cast and his coal wings didn't look like they had their feathers scraped off them.

The tengu seems to find some of his strength (still quivering) as he demands. "W-where's Kenma?! What d-did you do to him?!"

Tetsurou's grin turns back into a frown fast. Who was this kid and how long had he been away from this shrine if he doesn't even know Kenma's disappeared?

" _Shouyou._ " Shiro steps in and grabs 'Shouyou's' good arm. "Where do you think you are going with that arm and those wings?" Shiro drags him behind her and Tetsurou follows behind them to see where this conversation goes.

"What did you even think you were doing, flying in the storm like that?" Shiro forces Shouyou to sit down on a kitchen chair as she rummages through the cabinets.

Shouyou doesn't look like he's going to do much sitting as he jumps out of the chair with sudden exclamation. "We don't have time for this, Shiro-san! The mountain is in super big trouble and Ukai-san is sick and the other Ukai-san wants to close off the mountain and someone stole Ukai-san's, the old man, tengu feathers and I really need to get back so—"

The only thing Tetsurou caught from that was 'Ukai-san' and 'stolen' before Shouyou abruptly stops talking. Tetsurou feels a chill run down his spine at the sudden tension in Shouyou's face as he locks eyes on Shiro. Tetsurou is impressed how, in the face of such seriousness, Shiro keeps an unfazed front on as she dabs away at Shouyou's face with a piece of cotton.

"Shiro-san." That look is creepily chilling. Tetsurou feels choked just being in proximity of it. And Shiro is on the receiving end of it. "Where's Kenma?"

A beat passes with silence so suffocating Tetsurou feels the needs to ease the muscles of his neck to make it easier to breath.

"I haven't found him yet, Shouyou," And, before Shiro can say anything else, Shouyou explodes.

"You _promised_ Shiro-san! You promised you'd find him! _You promised!_ " Tetsurou places a hand on Shouyou's hand so he doesn't step any closer to Shiro. The way Shouyou says the word 'promised' is so weighty Tetsurou can feel it in his own shoulders. Something like regret pierces Shiro's face and even Tetsurou is hurt by it.

"Hey." He never wants to see Shiro like this. "You need to calm down—."

"You're just sitting here doing _nothing_!" Shouyou shoves Tetsurou's hand off and declares all broken, nearly featherless outstretched wings with molten fire in his eyes, "I'm going to go find him!" And then he runs off, brushing past Tetsurou rather roughly.

The word 'nothing' seems to be the final blow but even after that Shiro stays strong. She reaches out and says panicky, "Shouyou, wait!" She rushes after the feathered youkai and Tetsurou is left dumbfounded in a room littered with black feathers and red blood.

* * *

 

"Shouyou!"

Shiro has promised him. She'd given him her word. Shouyou had never found anything stronger than Shiro's word. She told him she'd find Kenma and she'd failed him.

Everything hurts. Shouyou feels pain from every inch of his body; from the tips of his feathers, across his bloody arms and legs and right where his heart is. Despite it being in the safest place imaginable, it hurts there the most. All the strain he's putting on his legs as he runs towards something unknown, all the energy he's wasting in flapping his wings, all the branches and twigs and prickly grass he rushes, none of it hurts like the stab the earlier revelation had taken at his heart.

She had promised. Shiro had promised.

"Bind!"

A bunch of vines shoot out and Shouyou's fingers turn into black pointed claws to slash through them. He cuts and rips and pushes and shrivels them up. He needs to do something to find Kenma. He can't leave it to Shiro anymore. She broke her promise.

The vines turn out to be only a distraction to slow him down and Shiro takes the opportunity to slap something on his back and suddenly, Shouyou feels calm.

With nothing to anchor his energy, his strength is sapped from him and he trips back, his bloody black wings splaying behind him.

Shiro catches him and eases him down so his head fits neatly in her lap. Shouyou can feel roots wrap gently around his legs and wrists and running carefully across his wings. With a whispered command from Shiro, a soft emerald glow emits from the brambles and Shouyou eventually starts to feel better and less hurt.

Though it doesn't too much to ease the ache he feels on the inside.

"Shiro-san, I don't get it," Shouyou eventually says, locking gazes with the woman, "Where did he go? Why did he leave? Why can't we find him? I don't get it!" He doesn't understand it in the slightest. Sure they were issues here that may bother Kenma from time to time, but nothing Shouyou would have thought would make him leave the only place Kenma had felt comfortable in; the only people who Kenma actually cared about. Or at least, Shouyou thinks Kenma cared about them. He can't think of any other reason as to why he'd disappear and Shouyou absolutely loathes doubting his friends.

It's a lengthy minute before Shiro answers, "I wish I had the ability to provide you with an answer, Shouyou, I truly wish I could." She brushes twigs out of his hair and her hand emits the same emerald green light the roots do. Shouyou feels immensely better already, but the better he gets physically, the worse he gets mentally.

"This sucks! A lot! Like so much!" Shouyou exclaims, trying to throw his hands out in some animated gesture but realizing he can't with all the roots holding him down. He pouts, "Why couldn't Kenma take me with him? I'm sure I could've helped him! Like if he was in trouble, I would fly down super-fast like 'whooosh' and then 'wham!', bad guy down! Or whatever the threat was! It'd be gone! Poof!"

"Shouyou, stop wiggling." Shiro chastises, heaving a very large sigh. To Shouyou's surprise (and sort of horror) Shiro competes with his thought by saying, "Kenma wouldn't even have left if I had known something was bothering him because I would have destroyed it. Or them."

Shouyou gulps nervously just thinking about all the horrors Shiro could do with how over powered her grasp on earth magic was. He really needs to practice more of his own wind magic to get on her level. And to get his hands on Tracking Magic: Special Wind Edition so maybe he can find Kenma.

"Shouyou."

Shouyou looks Shiro in the eyes again. There's something unsure in the red hues of them. That has him slightly worried because there aren't many issues Shiro is unsure about.

"I want to share something with you," She says and his curiosity is immediately peaked when she adds, "but you have to promise not to act rashly."

Shouyou is the type to keep his promises in the face of anything and even though Shiro hadn't really kept her promise to him, he isn't the type to fight inability with more inability. Plus he's dying to know if Shiro already using the Make Him Promise tactic he knows she learned from Keiji-nii. Or maybe Keiji-nii learned it from her. Either way, it usually worked like a charm.

"I promise!"

Shiro gives him a look.

"I-I promise I'll try!" It's his own go-to tactic to challenge Keiji's. It works ninety percent of the time especially if there's someone else guilty by association with him when Keiji's about to start one of his lectures about responsibility.

Shiro asses him until she deems his promise resolute enough for whatever she wants to share with him.

Shouyou nearly breaks through all the roots wrapped around him trying to spin himself right up to take a proper look at Shiro and make sure she's one hundred percent serious when she says, "I may have found a lead towards finding Kenma."

"Are you for real Shiro-san?! For real?!" He grapples again with the greenery until Shiro threatens to erase his memory of this whole setting if he doesn't stop. He does so immediately after that but that doesn't stop his question firing. "Where is it?! What is it?! Why haven't you done anything yet?! Where's Kenma?! Where'd he go?! Tell me, Shiro-san!" he's nearly whining in the end just to get her to answer anything.

"Shouyou, this maybe be in vane but please try to calm yourself while I explain."

Without hesitation, Shouyou becomes as still as a leaf. He's staring at Shiro so hard, all his sense burning with the desire just to know a single piece of information that may lead him to his lost friend. There's heat behind his orange hues enough to burn a hole into Shiro if he isn't careful.

Shiro seems a bit taken about by this; however, it seems to give her the right push to give Shouyou exactly what he needs; a lead.

"I was using a new tracking spell to find traces of Kenma's aura." She begins and she holds all Shouyou's attention as he hangs on her every word. "It was very hard to get a hold on a sample of his aura but after a few months of gathering pieces of spells he used around the shrine I had enough to use for tracking."

She breathes and Shouyou can hardly contain himself. "Go on! Go on!"

Shiro smiles softly at him. "Of course, almost all of it lead to places Kenma frequently visited, the shrine, the game store, the tengu mountain, his school, his friends' house, the market," Those are exactly the places Kenma was usually found at. However, if Shouyou was being completely honest, Kenma was probably at two of those places all year round while he may have visited the other maybe twice a month. Kenma was just more an indoor person. Which means Shouyou didn't have much opportunity to show him all the amazing places and stuff he found along his 'trips' away from the mountain but that doesn't matter now.

"And?! What did you find?"

Shiro looks away from him and looks towards an unseen point to the right. He can't tell if there's anything that way but he's sure they need to go that way to reach Youkai Garble.

"Sometimes the spell pulsed. I'd get close to something and it would start to pulse in a way and lead me somewhere. It would never take me somewhere specific and sometimes it would just stop pulling me altogether but after a few more months I was able a circle around the area it always pulsed at."

"And Shiro-san?! Where did it lead you to?!"

Shouyou tries to spin around in the roots to catch Shiro's eyes. He needs eye contact when she tells him this. He must look her in the pupils. Eye contact is very important to Shouyou especially when taking about very important things; direct eye contact is honest and the importance of honesty has always been drilled into him ever since he first peeked out of his egg.

Shiro spares him further work when she finally glances back at him and catches his eye.

"It was a big area, Shouyou, it took me two more months just to get through it all. There were so many houses and shops and guilds I searched. I didn't discover anything new nor did the spell ever pulse again it the places I did visit... But I didn't give up, Shouyou, I could never give up until I brought Kenma home."

There's a dark look in Shiro's eyes, something that prickles Shouyou's spine with bone chilling fear and makes him glad Shiro is on the same side of him. She seems to notice this and shakes her head a bit until her features soften.

"There was one building I couldn't visit or enter no matter how many times I tried." Here Shiro gets a very deadpan look and Shouyou blushes his cheeks when she mumbles, "Nor could I seduce any of their members to let me in. I sometimes miss the old days when men used to throw themselves at my feet without thinking of all the horrible atrocities I could make of them if they irked me."

Shouyou gulps and feels second hand gratitude for the fact that Tanaka and Nishinoya haven't yet met Shiro. And for the fact that even if they did and Shiro decided to kill them, they were both too undead to actually die.

(It would still hurt them though but Shouyou's pretty sure they'd accept it gladly.)

"Shiro-san... Which place were these m-men you couldn't... s-seduce?!" He can practically feel the glare on the back of his neck even though Keiji isn't anywhere near here. The words of a previous lecture ring in Shouyou's ears about the unholiness of human reincarnation.

Shiro must see something on his face because she laughs.

"I forget that tengu engage in celibacy." She chuckles more to herself. "Keiji would have a fit if he learned I used the word 'seduce' around you."

All Shouyou really wants is to learn the name of the place Kenma last used magic so he can tear it down or something. He doesn't want to relive another of Keiji's horribly boring lectures about tengu pride and celibacy and responsibility when Keiji isn't even _here_.

"Shiro-san—"

"Shouyou, you need to promise me you won't act carelessly," Shiro asks him again, and Shouyou will promise her a million times over he won't if she'll just tell him. "Neither you or I need a murderous Akaashi Keiji on our tails. Or the Sainetto Society for that matter."

Sainetto Society?

Oh.

The blood under Shouyou's skin goes impossibly dry. He opens and closes his mouth numerous times and just stares at Shiro. The last place, the very last place Kenma has used magic had been at... Goshiki's guild?

"That can't be true! I-it _can't!_ "

Shiro seems very alarmed by his outburst before she collects herself and raises an eyebrow at him with the simple question as to: "Why?"

"B-because! _Because!_ "

Because Shouyou's been to the guild hundreds of times and he's made really good friends with almost all of their members. And even the ones he isn't close to treat him kindly. And Goshiki is one of his best friends and there's no why he'd ever hide from Shouyou information about his other best friend. Because Shouyou knows Goshiki and he knows he isn't the type of cruel person. Because Shouyou has so many wonderful, amazing experiences at the guild and with members of the guild and there's no way they'd hide something as important as Kenma to him.

But Shiro doesn't have that. All Shiro had had was Kenma.

"Shouyou, unless you give me a valid reason as to why you are so devastated at the thought of the Sainetto Society having anything to do with Kenma, then I will not stop any drastic majors I may or may not take in future time," Shiro states this clear as day and Shouyou feels terrified of all the horrible things she could do to his friends with the purpose of finding Kenma. His fear increases even more drastically after she adds, "In the very _near_ future."

In a desperate attempt to save Goshiki and the other members from the fury of Shiro if they do have anything on Kenma, Shouyou blurts out, "I-I'll go scope out the Swan Guild for you!"

Shiro blinks owlishly. Then she smiles and pats his hair down, "I appreciate your kind gesture, Shouyou, however I'd like to check this out myself since it is the first lead I've found in... in years."

A horrible twists of feelings sit in Shouyou's gut. He wants to find Kenma so bad and he so badly wants to help Shiro. He knows how important family is and he himself would go to the ends of the earth for his own. But he also knows how bad things if he ever found out anyone had hurt his family, let alone someone with enough prowess in earth magic like Shiro to figure out something like that happening to Kenma.

Which brings him back to why he flew through a storm and nearly lost his wings to get here.

"K-Kurama Mountain is in danger!" The roots around Shouyou finally loosen and all his strength is back. He stands to his full height (which isn't very much but at least he has something to work on) and stretches out his wings frantically to get some feeling back into them.

"...What?"

"That's why I came here! There's something wrong with the old Ukai and the whole mountain is sick now!" Shouyou exclaims, doing elaborate hand gestures to describe the whole situation, "Keiji said he could handle it but his feathers are falling out! W-which means he can't!"

Shouyou places his hands on Shiro's shoulders. "You have to help, Shiro-san!"

There's a very long pause between Shouyou's last statement and Shiro's answer, which further stresses Shiro's almost treacherous words. "If it were anyone else, Shouyou, I'd think it was rather convenient how much your cry of help is," Shiro heaves a large sigh, "but, alas, it is you Shouyou and I know how much of a scattered brain you can be at times."

If ever Shouyou is caught between saving friends and saving family, he will always chose the path that will save both. Even if there isn't, he'll carve it out himself.

Shiro tells him she can be there and back more in a solid seven days. She assures him it's enough time for him to scope out the Swan Guild and use his 'connections' to find any lead on Kenma's magical traces. Shouyou's only hope is the it will take less than that to prove the Swan Guild innocent and clean-handed of any dealings they may have had with Kozume Kenma.

* * *

 

"You're shitting me." Iwaizumi holds out the rock Tetsurou had stuck a talisman on. It reads in bold black the kanji for 'suction' and he holds it out to another pile of feathers and blood. It's all gone within a moment and Iwaizumi is left staring at the impeccable clean stone. There's a big, fat grin on Tetsurou's face as he eats up Iwaizumi's deadpan reaction.

"And again, Iwaizumi, I certainly _am not_ shitting you." There's another rock in Tetsurou's hand with the same talisman and Tetsurou repeats the gesture on the last pile of red-stained blades. The deadpan in Iwaizumi's face somehow increases and Tetsurou bursts out laughing.

It turns into a mock frown when Iwaizumi quips, "So you're practically the god of smelly garbage men?"

"How dare you mock the hand that feeds you, Iwaizumi! I curse you with whatever curse I have at my disposable!"

Iwaizumi is very un-cursed despite the time given waiting for something to activate.

"What exactly are you feeding me? Your shitty attempt at being a shounen manga antagonist?" Iwaizumi puts he stone down on the nearest table and deflates. "Shouldn't we go check up on them or something?"

"I'm sure Shiro can handle one injured baby tengu," Tetsurou states, waving a hand nonchalantly Iwaizumi's way as he stares at his rock, "I mean, just look at how she handled Terushima. And he was supposed to be a god."

Iwaizumi scoffs. "I could be a better god than that clown."

"The god of holy biceps?"

Iwaizumi is about to retort on that, as Tetsurou can see him open his mouth, but he seems to change his mind at last second and Tetsurou really wishes he'd said whatever he was going to say in the first place instead of, "You really like her, don't you?"

"I thought you weren't good with the mushy stuff and loathed everything filled with emotion." Tetsurou bites back a little too quickly. Iwaizumi winces at the same time Tetsurou does.

"Are we talking about Roocchi's very obvious and very gross crush on Shiro-chan? Because if we are, I want in."

Oikawa pops into Tetsurou's room and is very proud of himself when Tetsurou groans. At least with Iwaizumi, he probably just had to answer a question or two to sate his curiosity on the matter but mixing Oikawa turned into a stereotypical old women's gathering.

"First of all, there's nothing gross about my crush on Shiro. It's perfectly normal for an adult male like myself to be attracted to a beautiful female specimen like Shiro. It also doesn't help very much how much her smiles make me feel butterflies," Tetsurou did not just say that out-loud. He did not just admit to Shiro giving him butterflies to Iwaizumi and Oikawa. He did not.

Oikawa stares at him with the glee of the cat who caught a canary and Iwaizumi is smiling at him. He seems to very much have said that out-loud so he'll just continue his little rant of defense that was supposed to show Oikawa's flawed logic yet somehow got him to show how effective it really was. Tetsurou clears his throat, "Second of all—"

"I hadn't known that we'd already bypassed the admitting stage and we're already in the gross pining stage. What a wondrous development~."

Oikawa is in the room and places himself on Tetsurou's bed faster than Tetsurou can bite back a retort. Iwaizumi sits next to him with his own smug expression of amusement.

"You know he's only known her for less than a month?"

" _Get out_ , Iwa-chan." Oikawa laughs loftily. "And he's that far strung?"

Crossing his arms, Iwaizumi spares a glance at Tetsurou before answering, "That's what I was wondering."

"Care for a bet, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi side-eyes Oikawa. "I'm listening."

Oikawa's toothy grin turns impossibly larger as he leans in, locking eyes with the incredulous Tetsurou, "Five thousand human yen on whether or not Shiro-chan knows. My very limited human resources is on her knowledge of this disgusting crush."

Iwaizumi glances at Oikawa, the mischievous grin on the latter's face ever apparent. Iwaizumi uncrosses his arms and sticks out his hand. "You're on."

" _I'm_ _right_ _here_." Tetsurou announces exasperatedly, throwing his hands up. Actually, never mind the fact his friends were betting against him while he stood as some twisted elephant in the room, Tetsurou was more surprised at the exchanged banter between these two who Tetsurou thought would never get along. It was almost like they were— "And since when were the two of you _friends_?"

There's a slight widening in Iwaizumi's eyes at that but Oikawa doesn't miss a beat as he straightens up primly and says rather snobbishly, "Since he unlocked my tragic, heartbreaking sob story."

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow Oikawa's way and Tetsurou exasperates his next point with more hand gestures, "How come I didn't get this?" Or in other words, how did Iwaizumi, Denser Than A Piece Of Wood Iwaizumi, get anyone to tell him their tragic backstory? Get Oikawa, Stingier Than A Miser Oikawa, to open up?

"And why can _he_ call you _Iwa-chan_?"

"Tut tut, Roocchi. Jealous doesn't suit you very well."

"Stop calling me 'Roocchi'. You make me sound like a stripper."

"Well, Tetsurou, you have been stripped of most of your... pride these last few weeks with all you're attempts at being competent so I think it's quite accurate."

Oikawa and Iwaizumi burst out laughing at Shiro's sudden intervention and despite it being quite a sick burn, Tetsurou turns red.

The tengu from before — Shouyou?— walks on behind her, looking like he's taken a road trip to heaven and back with the sudden healthiness back in his form and looks rather confused.

"Shiro-san," He stage-whispers, with a hand close to his mouth, "W-what's a stripper?"

Shiro doesn't mean a beat. "A prostitute, Shouyou."

And Shouyou does justice to the phrase red as a tomato as his face goes fifty different shades of red in under a minute. He's behind Shiro in an instant, staring bug-eyed at him Tetsurou.

It takes a moment for it to click and Tetsurou's face just gets worse as he shouts, " _I'm not a prostitute!"_

Oikawa and Iwaizumi are both in various states of death by laughter. Oikawa is laying back on the bed, his arm wrapped around his stomach while he guffaws and Iwaizumi is on his knees banging the floor with one fist, shaking uncontrollably from his chuckle fit.

Tetsurou sort of wants to strangle all of them but Shiro is smiling again so Tetsurou lets them have their fun just this once.

But he's so getting back at them as soon as he gets a better grip on this magic stuff. Sweet revenge isn't that far out of his reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit me up on the [tumblr](http://haruhi02.tumblr.com/)


	5. In which Bokuto Koutarou and Hinata Shouyou cannot learn the pros and cons of taking advantage of the situation to save their lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which everyone, their grandma, their grandma's estranged lover, and their grandma's estranged lover's cat makes an appearance

**Bonds of descendants**

* * *

Chapter Five: In which Bokuto Koutarou and Hinata Shouyou cannot learn the pros and cons of taking advantage of the situation to save their lives

* * *

Kenjirou jolts forward and smacks his noggin into something hard. It doesn't initially hurt but it makes his head vibrate and the previously lush blades of grass ticking his palms turn into something softer and much smoother. When he jimmies open his eyes through the ringing in his brain, he's met with a landscape of mattress toppers and one very smug Kawanishi Taichi.

"Told you I'd find a way in here," Kawanishi says rather apathetically yet somehow still complacent, further emphasized by the almost excitable swish of his black serpentine tail. He grabs Kenjirou's arm and pulls him up into a stiff embrace Kenjirou is certainly not reciprocating because _goddamnit_ , his mind is supposed to be fortified enough to prevent a demon from roaming into his dreams. The magic beginning to pool out of him at the points Kawanishi is touching him feels unnaturally happy and it irks Kenjirou like an itch at his back. His warning 'get off me' is muffled as he's pressed into the stupid demon's chest and it's another moment of squirming before Kawanishi relents.

"Uh, this'll only take a minute," Kawanishi explains, holding Kenjirou at arm's length so his fingers are the only area draining Kenjirou's magic. Kawanishi gives him a once over and shrugs, "Well, I guess this could work too... So, what's up?"

Kenjirou's jaw is clenched tight while he tries to prevent everything that was certainly _not_ up get to him all over again. Not only does he have to deal with the never ending stack of cases his profession as a lawyer require him to defend/fight for and the all the other clusterfuck of complications caused by Terushima, Ushijima and Oikawa in the past month, not forgetting to include the whole descendant problem.

Not only is all the bullshit been tossed haphazardly onto his shoulders, but he also needs to deal with all their stupid coping methods. Kenjirou swears to whatever god that isn't Terushima, Previous Kozume or Current Kozume that if Semi fusses over him one more bloody time, he is going to lose it.

"Never mind, it's sort of written all over your face now." Kawanishi chuckles a bit. "You look like you just swallowed a lemon. It's kinda funny."

"Are done leeching off my soul yet?" Kenjirou snaps. He's starting to feel the drain and Kawanishi quickly removes his hands. Kenjirou's relief is rather short-lived, because he immediately starts feeling bad for snapping at the only person he actually tolerates in this stupid guild. He bites the inside of his cheek to reel himself in before he says anything else as a sort of half-ass apology. He knows Kawanishi wouldn't care if he did apologize nor would he actually understand why he was apologetic so, instead, Kenjirou's changes the subject to more pressing matters.

"Why are you here?" _Obviously not just to ask about my stupid life_ is what Kenjirou was going to add before he decided that he was still sort of apologizing by not sassing as much.

Kawanishi raises an eyebrow, snake-like tail poised. "To check up on my brother?"

Despite himself, Kenjirou blushes a few shades of red and his face contorts like he really has swallowed the world's zestiest lemon. The only thing Kenjirou probably doesn't understand more than bloodline bonds is friendship ones. Especially friendships like the one he has with Kawanishi where the stupid demon insists that what they have is a bloodless blood bond. It's... _weird_. To have someone care about him just for the sake of caring about him. Just because they're... _friends_.

"I'm _not_ your _brother_."Kenjirou grinds out, his face still warm in spite of all his attempts to cast a silent cooling spell. This is stupid. Why does Kawanishi have to be stupid?

"Well you're the closet thing I'll ever have to one." Kawanishi admits. The demon is pushing all his buttons just to get some sort of rise out of him but he has no idea why. The smart thing would be to ignore him and maybe even leave this stupid dream but Kenjirou's agitated nerves don't really give a tinker's damn what the smart thing to do is.

"Are you just here for a free meal like the stupid freeloader you are or do you actually have something important to tell me?"

At this outburst from Kenjirou, Kawanishi's lip turn up into the smallest of smiles and he ruffles Kenjirou's hair.

"That's more like it. I got a little worried when the sass disappeared for a minute there."

"I'm leaving."

Kawanishi grabs Kenjirou's elbow, "Yeah, just give me a minute."

Kenjirou nearly stumbles when they're suddenly on the slanted tiled roof of some house from Federal Japan. The grip on his arm, however, holds him firm. From their new aerial position, Kenjirou has clear view of all the dust covered streets and paths intertwining between the many other ancient houses. He thinks this must be one of the more residential areas of Youkai Garble, but he never been to this area before nor has he ever seen a path this wide without a thousand and one different shop set up. Something rumbles at the end of the street and even though Kenjirou squints, he can't tell what the looming black shape in the distance in.

But it's getting much louder and much, _much_ closer.

"Kawanishi, what—"

"You know how I can't tell you things directly in these dreams." Kawanishi states, cutting Kenjirou off. The grip on his arm is even tighter and Kenjirou's just about to ask who the fuck made all these stupid rules in the first place when a loud crack resonates through the street.

The shape in the distance that had been unidentifiable before is now in clear sight. It's some sort of boarded up cardboard box shaped cart with gigantic wooden wheels. It's four sides sides and spherical top are covered in dark canvas. The two headless horses pulling the cart rather madly through the street are being egged on by the whip in an equally headless man's grip.

It's a fucking dullahan pulling a bandwagon and the fact that the entire goddamn mess of a thing is black sets Kenjirou on edge like no tomorrow.

"Kawanishi, it's a _dullahan_ —"

"Get ready to jump."

Kenjirou's neck snap so fast to stare it Kawanishi, it's a miracle his head doesn't go flying. "Are you _mental_?"

Kawanishi grips his arm impossibly tighter and gives Kenjirou a look that rather bluntly says _'this isn't what it looks like, you know how this works_.'

The whiney of the horse sets Kenjirou's eyes back on the approaching bandwagon and it's nearly on them. The force on his arm becomes more comforting.

Kenjirou readies himself as he asks, "Why can't we just fly?"

Kawanishi takes a pouncing stance next to him as well, wings pressed closed to his back and tail whipping out. Yet the seriousness of the situation doesn't stop him from saying, "You won't remember what happened and I'll lose my meal."

The bandwagon is under them.

They both leap from the rooftop and Kenjirou's vertigo slants. It almost feels like time has stopped in the moment before their feet touch the ceiling of the wagon. They land right on the top of the spherical roof and it crashes under their combined weight. Kenjirou only has the time to say "fuck this" before his whole world turns right side up and he's sitting in his bed with one hell of a hammering in his chest.

Even though he's awake and back in his room, Kenjirou swears he hears a whisper of _'good luck, little brother_ ' in his ears as his mind registers that he's safe and not dying or hopping on bandwagons.

His blanket is thrown off his lap as he rushes out of his bed and straight to the Sainetto Society's common room.

They're going to need a lot more than some luck to do this right.

* * *

_"You'll be fine. I put up a barrier around the shrine, Tetsurou, and you have Tooru. If there's one thing the imbecile is good for, it's his magic prowess. He'll be able to keep Yuuji out. And just in case he does get overwhelmed, I've taught you how to complete a simple offensive spell with your talisman. You have nothing to worry over, Tetsurou."_

Tetsurou is worried sick.

Shiro had left with Hinata this morning right after taking precautions to keep unwanted persona out of the shrine and had assured him they'd be absolutely fine in the week she'd be gone. She had shown him how she'd put up the barrier, where its strength and weaknesses were, the best stones for best magic conduction and the right kanji to use to turn it on and off. Shiro had made it specifically to keep Terushima out and for them to be able to go in and out pertaining to their needs. She'd even shown him how to use a binding spell, a protection spell and a small offensive one just in case Terushima was able to get past her barrier and Oikawa.

"I'm the best ice mage to ever live. You think I couldn't handle a measly god?"

Sure Oikawa could kick his godly ass if he ever wanted but Terushima has been a god longer than he has and he's sure to have learned a thing two about divine power.

Oikawa waves him off with a hand. " _Please_ , Shiro-chan could give _me_ I run for my moneyif she wanted to. And from what she's told me, even if he does steal this mallet thing, no harm is going to come from him doing so." Tetsurou is leveled with a haughty laugh and a glare. "Stop worrying, Roocchi. It doesn't suit you very well."

Tetsurou stares at him in a deadpan. "You're pretty confident for someone who just said he could get his ass kicked that easily."

"I did _no_ —"

"Just because neither of you has any work to do, that doesn't mean it applies to everyone, would you keep it down?" Iwaizumi snaps agitatedly from where his nose is glued to his paperwork. He spares a glance Tetsurou's way. "I thought you were confident Shiro could handle herself. Or are you just whining because you can't see her for a week?" He deadpans, shuffling through the papers in his hand.

Tetsurou frowns. "I'm not whining."

"That's what it sounds like to me."

"Are you his mom, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa laughs at this exchange, completely oblivious to the sudden, knife-cuttable tension in the room. Tetsurou has got to get his shit together if one mention is his mom is all it takes to throw him off.

"Yeah, r-right," Tetsurou's nervous laugh turns out to be way more desperate of a subject changer than expected.

Oikawa seems to notice something in both that and Iwaizumi's clenched jaw and his eyes travel between both of them before he asks curiously, "Is something wrong?"

Tetsurou wants to say no and he wants to say yes and maybe even divulge this matter to Oikawa but his heart beat quickens and he's starts to feel off. His eyes are downcast as he tries to rub away the new discomfort in his chest.

"Kuroo just finds it hard to believe you're good for anything besides making an ass of yourself." Iwaizumi gripes out, shuffling through his papers as Oikawa's squawk's in disbelief. Though the grateful look Tetsurou surreptitiously sends Iwaizumi doesn't seem to go unnoticed by Oikawa.

Tetsurou takes a deep breath, four seconds of inhalation. He holds it for two seconds and then exhales for another six. Four in. Hold Two. Six out. He repeats this gesture five more times, just until the discomfort diminishes and he's able to send a cheeky smirk Iwaizumi's way.

"Finally noticing my dashing good looks, huh, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi scoffs and returns to shuffling through more of his papers. "Don't flatter yourself. And don't call me Iwa-chan, either."

Tetsurou frowns and point a childish finger Oikawa's way with something he's going to pretend is not jealousy. "Why can _he_ call you Iwa-chan? I've known you way longer!"

Oikawa preens and sits up a little straighter. "Because I am _special_."

Iwaizumi lets out a snort, his eyes never leaving his paperwork. "I'd rather he call me that than remind me of my AV stage name."

Iwaizumi smirks as Tetsurou gently reminds him that he is not living a scandalous double life behind their backs and even if his handsome features are the subject to many acclaims from modeling agencies, Iwaizumi should never fret because Tetsurou will never leave him.

Oikawa falls over from laughing when Iwaizumi looks him dead in the eye and drones completely straight-faced, "Honey, I'm touched."

"You know what, _fine_. I'd rather marry Shi- _someone_ _else_ anyway."

"What was that, Roocchi?" Oikawa cuffs a hand around his ear and leans forward, a picture of childish innocence. "I could have _sworn_ I heard you stutter over that someone else for a moment there." He digs his chin into his palm and Tetsurou really wants to wipe the close-eyed smile off his face with a rake.

"Must have been my imagination."

Before Tetsurou can even begin to think of a response, Iwaizumi has the audacity to sigh and say, "I heard it too."

Tetsurou already misses Shiro, if only for her ability to keep both Oikawa and _Iwaizumi_ (he _still_ has trouble reconciling this one) in check.

Tetsurou leaps in Oikawa's direction but knocks into a wall of ice. Rubbing his forehead, he looks up just to see it curl over him into some pseudo icy flying carpet, carting off the smirking bastard as he continues to hurl childish insults Tetsurou's way about his 'disgusting' crush.

There's no way he's going to try _Iwaizumi_ , so Tetsurou bolts after Oikawa's evil laughter after the idiot starts singing K-I-S-S-I-N-G with a, "Come back here, you tanuki bastard!"

* * *

Koutarou really, really, _really_ had not meant to get lost.

He'd thought running off and ahead of his teammates on the mountain trail would motivate them to train harder. They'd see their super awesome captain training with as much vigor as a newly recruited squirt and they'd all be touched and pumped up and ready to _go go go_.

But as Koutarou scratches his head and swears that this pine tree is different than the fifteen thousand other pine trees he'd already passed, he thinks he maybe should have at least listened to Komori's warning not to wander off just the tiniest bit.

And his mood promptly takes a one eighty degree turn with the thought is _this sucks_.

His face drops and his shoulders droop and he trudges through the earthy overgrowth to a moss covered tree before he plops down and groans, messing up his hair with frustrated fingers to join his emo circus act.

This sucks. Everything about this sucks. He doesn't want to die in a forest. That's so lame and unheroic and stupid. He at least hoped his death would be volleyball related. He doesn't know how a volleyball could kill him but at least that would be better than headlines like 'Top Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou Gets Lost In Forest And Dies'.

And then his team will be too sad to play properly without him and then they'll lose nationals and then they won't be able to represent Japan and then his ghost will be super mega ultra sad and—

Something rustles and Koutarou's head immediately shoots up. His teammates have found him! He knew there was no way they we're going to give up on him! He's so happy he could kiss this tree he's been leaning on! He has the best team in the world!

Koutarou jumps up and looks around impatiently. They might not be able to see him from here with all the trees so he walks in the direction he heard the sound. Or he runs full force in that direction and doesn't stop when the silhouette of a woman appears in his vision. It's Miyanoshita! She found him! Sure he doesn't remember her having long white hair nor does he recall her wearing a yukata either but he's probably just delirious from the forest essence or something!

"Miyanoshita!"

Probably Miyanoshita stops and turns around and Koutarou bulldozes into her so hard they both fall over.

Koutarou's landing is very, very soft and it's after that thought does he realize this isn't Miyanoshita and blinks down on this mysterious forest woman.

It's a freaking angel.

Well, she doesn't have any white wings and he doesn't think angel have red eyes _and_ she looks super surprised to see him. It's then Koutarou realizes that _an angel has come to take his soul and he just fell into the angel's boobs_.

But this is like an anime he once watched with Yukie and Yakkun so maybe this is how it actually goes? Koutarou has no idea.

The angel peers at him in astonishment and it's a moment later does she reach over his shoulder and pluck him off of her like Koutarou weighs absolutely nothing.

He didn't know angels were that strong.

The angel stands up and pats the dust off her lap. Koutarou wants to do the same but he also wants to apologize but he also isn't sure how manners work in the afterlife. He pinches himself and yelps.

Wait, he was still on earth?

"I'm sorry! Like totally sorry! Super sorry! I thought you were someone else! Not that it makes what I did any better! I didn't mean to fall on your boobs! I mean like, not because they were bad boobs or anything! They were ok! Good boobs! Great even! Probably! I'm really, really, really _sorry_!"

Oh no, Koutarou probably didn't apologize to the angel's boobs enough and now he was going to go to hell for sexual harassment of a freaking angel. This was the worst. Worse than Dying By Looking At Too Many Trees. He's the worst. His head is down and his face is scrunched up and he kind of wants to cry.

"Are you... lost?"

Koutarou nods his slowly, hands scrubbing his eyes furiously so he doesn't start to actually sob. He just really wants to go home now. He wants to see all his friends and laugh and have fun like they used too. All this adult and responsibility stuff stinks; and it isn't at all fun. Sure playing volleyball professionally is super fun and all that but playing with his friends is the best.

Which is why he wishes he could've at least played with them one more time before he freaking died.

The angel places a hand on his arm and pulls him along and it's a while before he asks confusedly, "Where are we going?"

"I have business up in the mountains at the moment, and these forests aren't safe for humans." The angel stops and peers over her shoulder with something akin to amusement in her features. "I'm sure Keiji won't mind extra company."

Koutarou's eyes light up. Does that mean she'll resurrect him and give him another chance at life? This was exactly like the anime! Take that Yakkun! Yukie was right all along! He was right! This was awesome! Angels were awesome! He's awesome!

Koutarou whoops and cheers and practically dances in victory while the angel's light laugh fills the clearing.

This is the best day ever. Well, not the _best_ best. That best would be when he gets to play volleyball with his friends all over again.

* * *

Kentarou had exhausted every single method imaginable trying to forget about Terushima's snooping. He'd attempted to block it out by jogging, exercising, running, walking dogs, fighting, hunting, fighting with dogs, hunting with dogs, cuddling with dogs and even going as far as willingly spending time with people from his clan. The look of shock on Yahaba's face when Kentarou had knocked on his door and offered to throw him some bones had been slightly worth it but quickly lost its novelty when Yahaba's eyes twinkled stupidly from an offhand remark on Kentarou's part and had promptly decided that the next theme would be fucking _Power Rangers_.

Sometimes, he doesn't know what he's still doing in this cringey as fuck environment with all these idiots. He's then reminded, however, that it's the only place he can actually call home and these idiots are the only ones he can really call family. The only people who can understand what he's going through, really, and Kentarou needs that. He needs that comfort and understanding and belonging to feel ok. Terushima had been the one who brought him here and he's forever grateful but why the fuck had he been snooping around Kenma's stuff like it was nobody's business?

A grunt escapes him as he drags his mattress off his bed and drops it on the floor with a loud thump. He plops down onto it, arms thrown to his sides as he stares up at the ceiling with a glare. The shadows dance across the surface from the nightlight he'd left on and Kentarou can't be bothered to get up and turn it off after he's already gotten comfy. He knows, _damn_ does he know, that he'll get nothing sprawled out on the floor like this, not even a small piece of mind. Yet he's still doing this thinking shit just to try to get some idea why Terushima would be snooping.

Maybe Kenma had taken something from Terushima before he disappeared and Terushima wanted it returned? But why did the Americanized idiot just wait for Shiro to come back before he went sniffing around? Why did it have to be when she was out of the shrine? What even did Kenma have that Terushima needed? The kid's been gone for like seven years and what, had Terushima had suddenly remembered _'oh right Kenma took that thing from me and I really need it back now_ ' one day and went straight to the shrine while Shiro was coincidentally not there? Ha he remembered an I.O.U from years past when he hadn't even recalled to pay a visit to those two kids whose lives he's saved one winter's eve?

Oh _hell_ no. Kentarou did not just have a bittersweet monologue like a fucking _tsundere_. He's better than that.

"Kyo-kun! Shigeru-kun is asking for you— why are you on the floor?"

Kentarou groans. It _had_ to be Shibayama who found him thrown on the floor. If it had been Lev or Kanji, he could've deflected them with grunt and a cold shoulder. But no, it had to be the Master Of Puppy Eyes And Soul Barring himself. It's like Yahaba is training the kid to be his apprentice or something.

Shibayama slips in quietly and closes the door slowly until it clicks. Then he immediately turns on Kentarou with enough concern to heal starved children. He even starts losing his form as blackish feline ears pop out from where they were seemingly hidden in his hair.

Great. _Just_ great.

"Are you ok—"

"I'm fine." Kentarou snaps and dammit there's hurt in Shibayama's eyes. The pads of Kentarou's fingers meet his forehead and he sighs/groans as the regret starts bubbling in his stomach. Seriously, he would've taken literally anybody else, maybe someone he could actually cuss in front of without feeling like some alien redneck. "I didn't— It's not _like_ that."

Shibayama perks up instantly and he's sitting in seiza at Kentarou's side with expectant eyes, perked up ears and a tail swishing with something Kentarou has no choice but to call excitement.

"Not like what?" Shibayama inquires, tail twitching with every second Kentarou takes to contemplate what to say.

Kentarou knows he's not the smartass brainy know-it-all type like Yahaba, nor is he the sensible thoughtful thinking type like Shibayama and he's especially not the idiotic unfeeling dumbass type like Lev. However, if Kentarou had even if those attributes, then maybe he would never have gotten himself in a situation where he needed a subjective thinking cap on and all he had to work with was a crumpled, broken helmet which was good for absorbing emotion but horrible at guessing.

At least it's Wouldn't Judge A Fly Shibayama who he's deciding to confide in with the lamest of lame excuse starting something like, "If you had a friend—"

Kentarou can practically _feel_ the judging, disgusted Stop Bullshitting Me look Yabaha would've thrown him by now if it had been him kneeling in front of him and not Shibayama. But it is the kinder and smaller and less passive aggressive werecat in front of him and if Kentarou isn't mistaken he looks... excited. If the increased speed of his tail swishing is anything to go by.

"You have friends other than us, Kyo-kun?"

That elicits a frown from Kentarou because 1) no, not really, don't be a dumbass and 2) was Yahaba teaching the kid salt and sassiness because even though Shibayama looked as much like Yabaha as Kentarou did, he swears they could almost be the twins if one put their cheeky, permanent smiles next to each other. Kentarou wants to call bullshit but this is _Shibayama_. Surely he'd meant something else by his innocent jab.

The way Yahaba's image flickers in his smile, however; is making Kentarou doubt it. Fuck, he can't believe Yahaba was _contagious_.

"...yeah." Terushima is a little more than just a passing friend in Kentarou's books, though, and that's why he's conflicted.

Two owlish blinks later on Shibayama's side, the werecat is suddenly in his face with his doe-like eyes somehow filled with both excited awe and worried concern.

"Really?! Is something wrong with your friend, Kyo-kun? Is he hurt?! Oh, Kyo-kun." Kentarou pushes a hand in Shibayama's face before the kid starts crying or worse, _comforts_ him.

" _No_. He's fine." After Shibayama, nearly teary-eyed, searches Kentarou's face for deception and as expected finds nothing, he cocks his head, confusion etched into his face.

Kentarou sighs and begins to try to explain what exactly is bothering him.

"My friend, he... he's stupid. And he was being extra stupid the other day and I don't know why—" Fucking hell, is Kentarou a five year old? He groans and slaps a hand to his face. "Never mind—"

"Your friend did something weird and it's bothering you because you don't understand why he did it." Kentarou blinks. How did Shibayama even get that? Also, why is he being extra smiley? Kentarou barely understood it and he is the one who explained it. "Is that it, Kyo-kun?"

Baffled as he is, he manages a nod and Shibayama goes full Yahaba on him and laughs. He's going to punch the bastard as soon as Kentarou and Shibayama finish this conversation.

Shibayama begins to freaking _chastise_ him and Kentarou is still too baffled to respond. "You're overthinking it! I can tell! If you want to know why your friend did what he did, you have to ask him. That's the only way. Remember what Shi-kun always says," Here Shibayama clears his throat and actually _tries_ to imitate Yahaba's You're Actual Gum Under My Shoe face. It's disgusting on Yahaba and adorable on Shibayama. "Misunderstandings are an overrated shoujo troupe! We must always strive to avoid them at all costs! Even at the risk of losing customers!"

The amount of passion and earnest in Shibayama's face as he preaches death to overused troupes drives Kentarou out of his surprised stupor. He chuckles despite himself. The sheer awe that follows in Shibayama's eyes makes him shut up immediately but it's too late.

"Ken-kun _laughed_."

Kentarou grunts. "I didn't. You imagined it."

Shibayama bolts out the room before Kentarou can stop him.

"Guys! _Guys!_ Ken-kun is _laughing_!"

Kentarou would rather deal with thirty thousand suspicious Terushimas than all of his clan at once.

* * *

Keiji tries to ignore the fact that Shiro had brought with her a human to one of the most sacred, holy places in all of Japan. A very enthusiastic, very touchy feely human whose touched everything Keiji had ordered him not to touch at least five different times and only one had actually been intentional.

He doesn't try very hard.

"Shiro-san, please contain your… _pet_ ," Keiji urges, his fingers wringing together as frown endeavors to etch permanently onto his face. Keiji doesn't think he's heard the entire tengu clan crow in their entire lives as much as the amount of noises Bokuto had singlehandedly made in the past half hour.

Bokuto whips his head from where he was lifting some of the tengu children with his arms (which gave Keiji some pause because he not only was independently lifting three winged children but also single mindedly destroying all the poise and great teachings of the tengu by simply existing) and _pouts_ at Keiji.

" _Akaashi_ , I'm not a pet!"

"Koutarou-dono! Lift me!"

"No, no, me!"

"Koutarou-dono said he'd lift me next!"

How had Bokuto already diminished all those hours of mediating the children undertook daily for the sake of gaining but a piece of patience, tranquility and selflessness in a single setting?

A laugh escapes Shiro and Keiji settles himself once again. This was just a trying test of his character. An obstacle to overcome and further develop him in his conquest to perfection. Certainly he couldn't be swayed into admitting defeat by a single man.

"Shiro-san, I understand Shouyou might it out to seem that we were in grave danger but I assure you that the problem is completely under control," Keiji states diplomatically, posture unyielding in its perfect seiza. Another problem of course is Shouyou's panicky mannerisms and complete disregard of anything and everything around him. Keiji had tried to control his constant need to visit every realm from Kurama Mountain to Youkai Garble and failed rather spectacularly.

"Oh? Is that so?" Shiro smiles blithely at him and Keiji merely allows himself the thought of scrubbing it off her face with a rake. Her eyes flit around the open garden in mock wonder and one of her hand leave her folded yukata sleeves to swish through the black and gooey miasma settling like an oblique fog around the entire tengu settlement. Her hand comes away black and she shakes it to remove the access miasma before returning her hand to its previous hidden state. The smile on her lips hasn't so much as dropped a tick.

"This is a very interesting definition of under control. Do explain to me, Keiji, how you can even _breathe_ with all this?"

Bokuto gasps and smacks two hands over his entire face, not even blocking his airways properly as four tengu dangle from his arms. His muffled "Wait, we can't breathe this stuff? I've been breathing this shit in this whole time!" Is met with four startled gasps and a chuckle from Shiro.

"Koutarou-dono, please don't die!" The children are teary eyed and Keiji hasn't never seen any of them shed a tear for anyone before. He blinks as Bokuto suddenly takes them all in his arms and starts to sniffle along with them.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to die either and leave you guys."

Keiji sends a very stern look to Shiro who seems rather content to let this misunderstanding come to pass as she watches on with amusement. She lets it go on for another moment where the children promise never to forget the literal half hour of acquaintance they had with this impudent human before she says, "Oh you have nothing to worry about, Koutarou. I cast a spell to assure your safety."

Bokuto blinks away tears and stares at Shiro rather owl-like while the children continue to sob in his arms.

"You put a _spell_ on me?" Suddenly, Bokuto stands up and all the tengu dangle from his arms as he asks in wonder, " _You can use magic_?"

The children finally seem to register that Bokuto will live the same moment Keiji registers that Shiro had brought along a human with no previous knowledge of tengu, magic or otherwise. Which means he has no magic. Which means he's an unholy, filthy human.

He's on his feet in an instant, wings flaring dangerously behind as he glares murder at her.

"You brought a _human_ here?"

Shiro just smiles at him and Keiji seethes.

"If you hadn't noticed, dear Keiji, We've already established that." Keiji's positive there's a rake in the shed. "We were discussing your other problem. The one involving a rather deathly looking chieftain."

Keiji stiffens. Shiro shouldn't know about that yet. But then Keiji remembers she'd heard this from Shouyou whose very likely to have told half the world about all the skeletons the clan have hidden in their closets. However, Keiji is being led away from the main subject.

"Shiro-san—"

"Keiji," She cuts him off before he can voice anything more, "As much as I would love to hear about your continued suffering, I don't think we have the luxury to do so."

Shiro rises and begins to walk toward the inner corridors without bothering to wait for Keiji to escort her there. He's quick to get to his feet and follow after her. Letting a female spirit walk around Kurama Mountain alone and unescorted is asking for trouble. (For the tengu, of course. Shiro would rather enjoy being bowed to and treated like the celestial maiden they'd mistakenly think she was. If Keiji had the opportunity to choose the right adjective, he'd pick demonic.)

That's about the point where he remembers they left a human with all the children and Keiji's just about to turn back when Shiro snatches his sleeve.

"Where are you going, Keiji?" She asks. Keiji tries to rip his sleeve away but he finds it stuck between Shiro's fingers like they're made out of iron. "Ikkei-san's room is this way, is it not?"

It is that way. Keiji isn't surprised Shiro remembers despite her brief visits to the shrine. But Keiji isn't about to leave the strange looking human with all the little ones. He'd sooner trust the suicidal, godforsaken heathen who had put Ikkei on bedrest and nearly kidnapped his family than trust Mr. I Look Like An Owl Because Owl's Are Cool. Crows were cut from a far more superior cloth than owls anyway—

Oh dear, Keiji has already started to stoop to Bokuto's level of intelligence and childish mannerisms and it hasn't been an _hour_. He can't possibly leave him with the children or any member for the clan for that matter.

"Koutarou, be a dear and entertain the little ones. I need to solve this little problem for poor Keiji before all his feathers fall out."

Keiji snaps his attention back to the problem at hand at that but Shiro's already dragging him away, "Shiro-san, I am not leaving that impudent, foolish, non-magic human alone—"

" _Keiji_ , that is rather superfluously rude of you," Shiro tots, nearly waggling a finger in his face. She points back at Bokuto. "Especially when he's paid you the highest of compliment despite having no prior knowledge of tengu etiquette or magic."

That ruffles Keiji's feathers the wrong way. Admittedly, it is true but not the point. Bokuto had exclaimed about how all the 'totally sick and absolutely amazing angels' with the first step he'd taken into the tengu sanctuary. It had begrudgingly tugged Keiji's heart slightly, being compared to his end goal, especially after such a short acquaintance, but that didn't mean he was going to trust Bokuto with the lives of children just because he was _touched_.

It's too late to do anything about it though because Shiro has already dragged him away.

Truly she is a demon spawn.

* * *

Koutarou remembers what Shiro had told him about an hour later when Daidaimaru, the tiniest tengu, loses a feather as he attempts to lift Koutarou. It's whirling down in the wind and Koutarou is watching at as something dejavu-like turn the metal gears in his brain.

_"Do me a favor and ask the little ones if anyone or anything suspicious had happened as of late. Explicitly concerning tengu feathers. I'm don't think I'll be able to get anything out of Stingy-sama."_

Akaashi does seem like the stingy type. Though he also looks like one of those super smart geniuses who go to college at sixteen and can cure global warming. He's just missing the glasses and maybe he should get rid of the wings too if he wants to be a normal genius. But then he'd stop being a tengu and that's _boring_.

He should ask about those feathers though.

"Hey hey hey guys!" They're all at attention in an instant. "Has anything weird happened at the shrine lately?"

His answer is four head tilts. Koutarou tilts his own head and crosses his arms. He doesn't want to outright ask because it's rude and he's worse than Yumeko playing volleyball when it comes to beating around the bush. These _were_ all little squirts though, so maybe it isn't as rude?

"Shiro-chan wanted to know if anyone took any, uh, tengu feathers? But I don't know if I can just ask because it might be rude and I don't want to be rude to you guys because than Akaashi probably won't let me play with you anymore and I'm trying really really hard _not_ to be but I don't know if human rude is the same as tengu rude and I really like it here and I _really_ like you guys but UGH!"

His hair is roughly tousled by his frustrated fingers as he sinks to his knees and groans. He's the worst. He's never going to be able to convince Akaashi he's a good human influence for the little ones. Why does Akaashi have to be so stingy about humans in the first place?

A tug at his sleeve momentarily pulls him out of his grove and he's yanked completely out of it when he notices the downtrodden, maybe even _scared_ , shaking of all four tengu.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Both Botanmaru and Hiroki have tight fists at their sides. Yu scrubs furiously at his eyes and Daidaimaru buries his head in Koutarou's side. Koutarou wraps a strong arm around the tiny tengu and his brow knots even further. "Why are you all sad all of a sudden?

"Ikkei-sama…" Hiroki starts but Botanmaru cuts him off.

"Keiji-nii said not to say anything!"

"We couldn't do anything!" Yu professes, a few tears down his face.

Koutarou is thrown in an even more complicated loop as the three of them start to argue. It goes on for at least a few minutes and he's just about to implode and stop the fighting himself when one quiet word halts them all.

"A snake," Daidaimaru whispers, blobs of tears threatening to fall off his cheeks. The other three tengu wear matching faces of silent distress. "Ikkei-sama was bit by a snake."

And an in even lower whisper Koutarou isn't sure he was meant to hear, Daidaimaru adds, "Snakes _eat_ birds."

"Hey hey hey!" Koutarou isn't going to let four fearsome tengu fear something like a snake. "You guys shouldn't be afraid of some big giant worm! You're all big and strong youkai! Nothing can beat that!"

"But Ikkei-sama is the strongest!" Botanmaru cries. Yu and Hiroki nod turbulently in agreement. They become sad again when Botanmaru adds, "And the snake got him…"

"Then you guys have to be stronger!" They all eye him like he's grown a second head. Koutarou will not be deterred. "Snakes are nothing to be afraid of! My jii-chan used to wrestle _bears._ Now those are _scary_!"

" _Bears?_ " Daidaimaru gasps. The others are too shocked to comment.

Koutarou grins big and wide, and begins to spin the tale of the great Bokuto Kyo to his bright-eyed audience, entirely failing to recall Shiro's request.

* * *

So Satori had tried hinting to Tooru a _lot_ of things.

However, with the lethe water now involved and the red colored lens Tooru chose to look at Wakatoshi through (and only Wakatoshi, mind you), Tooru's vision is now understandably clouded. Sure the bakeneko is pretty deep within the bag. (Ok, a _lot_ deep. It probably has its own hideout within the bag), but Tooru could have at least gotten _something_. Satori is frankly sick of this Brooding Wakatoshi and wants the one who contracted him in the ashes of his old shrine back.

"Wakatossshi-kun~" In his snake form, Satori slithers around Wakatoshi's arm until he perches happily on the man's shoulder. "You need to sssmile."

Wakatoshi, with a face less brooding yet not at all smiley, addresses Satori with his professional business voice. "Tendou, it was very reckless of you to go after the clan leader. It would have sufficed if you had just poisoned when of Kokkuri's closer acquaintances."

"Wakatossshi-kuuuun," Satori whines. This is _exactly_ what Satori had meant when he told Tooru Wakatoshi didn't care the way Tooru thought he should. Point in case. "Didn't I do a good job?"

"You took unnecessary risks and endangered yourself in the process."

"But I didn't." And just because Satori actually cares about the goofball and certainly not because he's an asshole fishing for compliments, he adds, "Thisss isss why Tooru-kun left."

Wakatoshi actually stiffens at that. He eyes Satori with something akin to pain (or sadness) before heaving a heavy sigh.

"You did well, Tendou, despite the unnecessary risks to your safety." And, unsurely, he gives Satori two tiny bobs on his scaly head.

Satori expands and coils happily around Wakatoshi's torso. Despite having a boa constrictor wrapped around him, Wakatoshi doesn't dally in his step even for an instant. Satori could transform back into human form and just walk, but it's too fun being carried around like he's weightless. He also doesn't want to remove himself from the warmth underneath his scales. He doesn't get to do this often and it gives him time to think; his oh so favorite pastime.

And he comes to the same conclusion he's come to the last seventeen times he's thought on this issue: Tooru is a _major_ idiot.

Granted, Satori does not get Tooru's side of things. He understands that Wakatoshi doesn't exactly have the word 'subtle' in his dictionary when it comes to certain complications, and that he can even come off as rude and reprimanding at times, but he cares too much for Tooru to just leave like that. Satori doesn't comprehend how Tooru hasn't figured out how to translate Wakatoshi after the almost century of living with each other.

Take now as an example. Satori _knows_ Wakatoshi, so he recognizes that when Wakatoshi starts reprimanding and scolding as soon as Satori comes back is just his way of saying 'I was worried.' It's a really sweet sentiment but being the absolute square that Wakatoshi is, he doesn't get that he can just say it that way. Satori has been trying his _damnedest_ to enlighten Wakatoshi with the better way to show his emotions but it's really, really, _really_ difficult when Wakatoshi doesn't even comprehend he's doing something. Sure the Mention Tooru card does wonders each and every time it's used, but it's useless if Wakatoshi doesn't get why it works, nor if Tooru comes back and Wakatoshi just reverts back to his old ways. Satori thinks Wakatoshi realizes something is amiss by now, but it's still going to take a long time before he can be the brother Tooru wants.

Satori wishes he could sigh about now. He has to go talk to Tooru again, doesn't he? He doesn't want to deal with that puffy-haired tushytantrum at all.

"Goshiki and Hinata seem to be arguing."

The frown in Wakatoshi's voice and the context involved have Satori searching the courtyard for this peculiar phenomenon. Sure enough, feathers are being ruffled right in front of the curved entrance of the main tavern, and Satori slithers off Wakatoshi onto his own two feet to get a better look.

"M-maybe he came here when you were out on a quest!"

"I would still know if he was ever here! I've _asked_ Shirabu-san and Semi-san. He's never stepped foot in the guild!"

"Maybe he came when they weren't here!"

"You know we have barriers up at all times! We would still know if he ever showed up unannounced!"

"I don't want—"

It's at this point Chibiko catches sight of one Ushijima Wakatoshi and immediately thwacks a hand across his mouth as his eyes bug out. He flaps his wings twice before taking off into the air. He manages a, "I-I'll talk to you later, Goshiki!" before promptly flying off into the sky.

Satori would eat his entire left foot raw to know what that was about.

"Is something amiss, Goshiki?" Of course Wakatoshi's first impulse is to check the wellbeing of his guild members, and Tsutomu, being the kouhai who would bend over backwards before he dare trouble Wakatoshi with his 'trivial troubles', shakes his head sharply.

"Nothing for you to worry about, Ushijma-san! Now if you'll excuse me—"

Tsutomu walks past the both of them and both Satori and Wakatoshi watch him leave, Wakatoshi with mild confusion and Satori will the readiness to eat both feet to know what that was about.

Maybe he'll extend his tengu distraction mission _just_ a bit to include this.

* * *

After Tooru begs Iwaizumi to take a day off from work to no avail and even Roocchi leaves him to handle some human-ish affairs, Tooru is left alone and lonely for the day. Well, he's not completely on his own. Shiro's fox daemon never leaves his side and nips at his hand whenever his thoughts wander, as if sensing the change of moods Tooru's mind tends to take when he's alone. It's a really slimy and at times painful comfort but Tooru is grateful for the company.

When Yin suddenly wraps around him , however, and growls, Tooru is a bit perplexed.

"What's the matter, YinYin?" Tooru pats the fox's head and grins, "Cat got your tongue?"

Yin nips Tooru's fingers with a little more force than usual and Tooru yelps. It's just about when Tooru's about to go crocodile tears to try let the fox feel some sort of sympathy is when he feels a disturbance of magic that must be the source of YinYin's irritation.

The presence doesn't belong to any of the residents at Kozume Shrine but it's definitely familiar.

Tooru pads out of the shrine and onto the soft grass surrounding the area. YinYin is right beside him, close enough to keep brushing against Tooru's calves. He's a bit embarrassed at how bubbly happy it makes him on the inside from those small gestures of protectiveness.

His small happiness gets thrown out the window when he finds one Sawamura Daichi at the edge of Shiro's barrier. There's someone else with him who Tooru assumes is Terushima. He's the only supposed new member of the Swan Guild Tooru doesn't know and that hairstyle and piercings are a giveaway to the description Shiro gave him.

Sawamura blinks in surprise when Tooru emerges from between the trees before a disarming sort of smile pulls his lips. Tooru's dislike for both the smile and it's bearer wells up all over again. There are very few members of the Swan Guild Tooru actually likes as people and Sawamura Daichi is not one of them.

"Why hello, Sawamura-chan. I didn't think your much too humble self would pay me a visit so soon."

The smile of Sawamura's could power an entire city with how bright it is. "So it is true that you're living at the Kozume Shrine, Oikawa." Sawamura's hand moves as if to place a hand on Tooru's shoulder but the barrier sparks when he tries to move through it and he pulls back his hand immediately, his smile now strained. Tooru might have smirked a little too wide at that, especially when he shakes his hands lightly as if to get rid of the the shock. "I'm glad to see you doing so well but wish there didn't have to be a barrier between us."

Tooru is very glad there's a wall between them. Both figuratively and literally.

Terushima whistles low when Sawamura is still trying to shake some feeling back into his hand.

"Shiro sure went balls out with this." He tries to touch it himself before he yank back his hand a yelp, his fingertips sizzling and burnt.

" _Jeez_ , Sawamura! You made it look like it was nothing." Terushima pulls out a vial from some inside pocket hidden in the hakama near his chest and gnaws the cork out with his teeth before he dumps the substance on his hand. The skin is perfect again almost instantaneous and Tooru narrows his eyes. They were probably both equipped with a number of those vials if his acquaintance with Semisemi was anything to go by.

Tooru starts to shake a bit with anticipation at the thought of a fight and is restless with giddy at the thought of being able to bash Sawamura's face in without repercussions. Sure Shiro had said to let them take the mallet if they did come but she had said nothing about handing it to them on a silver platter.

YinYin whimpers and licks his hand once before rushing off into the forest behind them. Sawamura grimaces at that and looks between Tooru and Terushima before addressing the former.

"Listen, Oikawa, Kozume borrowed something from Terushima a long time ago and never gave it back. He's been gone for a while now and Terushima can't wait any more for him to come back anymore. Now if he could just get it back, we could be on our way and—"

Tooru can't help himself. He laughs and laughs and laughs and even when he can't breathe he laughs some more.

"Y-you think—" Tooru is gasping gulps of oxygen between light chuckles. "— that I'll give up the opportunity to beat you into a pulp just because I _can_?" Tooru grins at Sawamura rather constipated look before his eyes grow dark and his grin goes vicious and wild.

"I thought you knew be better than that, Sawamura-chan."

The temperature drops drastically and an icy wind dances between Tooru's fingers. A sudden fog settles around the trees and turns quiet gentle forestry into dark menacing shadows in the mist. It ends with the barrier and curls up to cover the whole extent of the spherical dome. The grass beneath his feet is wet with dew drops, sliding off the blades of grass and onto Tooru's socked feet as he watches Sawamura's reaction. Tooru can see through the fog perfectly that Sawamura is alarmed but also quite resigned to having to play the bad cop and what overjoys him even more is when Sawamura pulls out a wooden pencil from his pocket.

"Oikawa, we don't have to do this. It doesn't have to be this way," Sawamura shouts through the fog, sending a look to quite a bemused Terushima before twirling the pencil in his hand. It's spins rapidly, forming a glowing circle in its aftermath and then it's a behemoth club in Sawamura's hand. He encloses his other hand around the handle and again tries to persuade Tooru with the worst possible tactic ever.

"If you just spoke to Ushjima, I'm sure he'd understand—"

" _Don't you_ _ **dare**_ _say his name around me_ ," Tooru seethes, his voice traveling through the fog and bellowing like it's coming from everywhere. The vines in Sawamura's hand bulge with his tighter grip and Terushima, who has not stopped for even a second this entire time, unsheathes a _bow_ from his back. Does he think Tooru is weak enough to fall from a bloody magical _arrow_? Or is it just a mimicry of some hero worship of Robin Hood sort of thing?

Though from what Iwaizumi and Shiro have described of this particular individual, he's just and idiot with a great tendency to over romanticize everything and Tooru isn't sure if that should worry him or not.

He doesn't want to have time to think about the cupid wannabe when all he wants is to relish of severely bashing Sawamura's face in.

"Oikawa, this is your last chance." Sawamura's gone full bad cop and is in the dictionary definition of a ready to lunge stance. Terushima is still nonchalant, not even holding his bow properly and if he doesn't decide to take this seriously than Tooru will ignore him until he does.

Tooru scoffs, "That's where you're wrong, Sawamura-chan." Tooru raises his hand, his fingers itching to unleash the magic between them and he grins with desperate glee and anticipation even when Sawamura can't see it.

"This is your last chance to pick a god and pray they'll save you from me."

Tooru is off like a bullet even when Terushima is laughing and telling Sawamura and quote 'don't worry, the great namukari will save your ass'. Ice forms rapidly under his feet, creating an icy pathway that curves and dips according to his will. He slides toward the barrier, his floating bridge ending with the barrier, hidden with the fog just above Sawamura's head.

Sawamura, for his part, pivots off his foot with the club held high above his head as he prepares to smash the barrier.

Tooru's floating ice slide creates a u-turn around Sawamura and Tooru slides smoothly through just as the barrier vanishes. The surprise and shock on Sawamura's face with both inability to stop his forward moment and his mistake of giving Tooru his back is the last thing he sees before he slides off the end of the u-turn and, with a fist frosted over with the hardest ice Tooru has ever created, socks Sawamura right in the face.

The crunch under Tooru's knuckles is euphoric to his ears.

Tooru whips around, ready to blast Terushima away with a gust of wind, when Terushima jerks and heaves the bow at him.

Bows are not meant to be thrown. They don't do any damage and throwing your only weapon is a death wish. Yet the shape and size of the bow and the lack of actually force behind the projectile and the fact that Terushima chucked his only weapon, a bow, a long range weapon, a weapon meant to keep the enemy at bay, throws Tooru off for a brief moment.

The thrown bow doesn't even reach him before Terushima is in front of him, wrenching Tooru's wrist with the shittest of shit-eating grins and smacks a kiss on Tooru's mouth.

It's the _tongue_ that makes Tooru jerk back, revolted and appalled, ready to tear Terushima a new one without even wanting an explanation of why the bastard just bloody kissed him in the middle of a fight, but he doesn't even get to lift a finger before Terushima says smirkingly, "Sit down." And Tooru is sprawled on the ground.

It clicks rather anticlimactically after that.

"This is _not_ happening." Terushima shouldn't be able to form a _contract_ with him. God-familiar contracts shouldn't work on shapeshifters. The old magic is only supposed to work solely on pure animal youkai like Shiro. Tooru is part animal but it shouldn't be enough to get the old magic rear its ugly head. Technically. He can practically hear the rumbling voice of his brother if he had been there, privy to Tooru's thoughts.

 _"Old magic doesn't follow logic, Tooru. You have learned that._ "

_Stupid brother and his stupid way of speaking._

Tooru sounds like a child and the thought pisses him off even more. At least a child would be begrudgingly adorable at times and didn't cause Tooru to spiral into another foul mood with nothing but a few simple words.

"Denial isn't gonna get ya anywhere, pretty boy." True or not, Terushima's only told him to sit down and hasn't yet ordered him to seize fighting—

"Stop fighting us," Terushima immediately states like he's reading

Tooru's thoughts. "Sit there and don't move."

Tooru pouts.

" _Shima-chin_ ," He whines from the ground as Terushima goes to pull up a dazed Sawamura, "At least let me punch him one more time."

"I don't think there's anything left to punch." Terushima muses. "Sawamura, buddy, that's not how noses work."

Tooru erupts into laughter at the slanted edge Sawamura's nose takes. Blue and black bruises are already starting to form and Tooru is at least grateful he got that one off his list before he became handicapped. Now all that was left was get a punch off Wakatoshi and then Tooru's revengeful streak will end. Probably.

'Ushijima.' Tooru reminds himself. First names were for people who were close. Not for brothers who were never home and never there and never said the right things. Not for brothers who always looked for faults and always reprimanding and always said the wrong things.

"Jeez, Sawamura, do you feel nothing?" Terushima's laughs pulls Tooru away from his thoughts. Sawamura had taken it upon himself to right his nose and now all there was to show for Tooru's handiwork of his face were the bruises. It was nice while it lasted.

"Terushima," Sawamura pinches the bridge of his nose and Tooru isn't sure if it's to check the bone or in exasperation, "Did you even know that would work?"

"Nope!" He answers immediately and Tooru can't believe this is the stupid idiot who bested him, "But it _did_ so it doesn't matter, does it?"

Sawamura just sighs and Tooru is almost sympathetic. Almost.

"Just make him tell us where the mallet is."

"On it!" Terushima throws a thumbs up Sawamura's way and turns to Tooru whose trying really hard to look intimidating while also pouting. Terushima is undeterred. "So, Oikawa, mind telling me where... Huh?"

YinYin the traitor trots into the clearing from between the trees with what can only be the infamous mallet between her teeth. She stops at Terushima's feet and places it on the grass before rushing back and intertwining herself around Tooru.

Everyone stares at the mallet for the pregnant-ist of pauses. YinYin yawns and places her giant head in Tooru's lap.

Sawamura shakes his head and Terushima chuckles. It's the first time Tooru's seen Terushima express any other sort of emotion besides cheer. It's a bit peculiar of a sight to see him look nostalgic melancholic on his face.

"That's a great girl," Terushima says. He grabs the mallet, his face back to its usual smug cheerfulness and holds it up to the sky. Lightening shimmers and pirouettes around the hammer and crack of thunder erupts before a bolt of lightning escapes and strikes the sky.

Terushima grins as dark clouds form and Sawamura cuffs the back of his head.

"This was supposed to be a discreet thing," Sawamura deadpans. Terushima massages the back of his head and grins.

"Couldn't help myself. It's been awhile."

Sawamura sighs.

Rains starts to drip from the sky and Tooru wrinkles his nose as a droplet of water hits his face. He doesn't want to be stuck on the ground as it rains over his head but it seems like that's how it's going to be. Sawamura and Terushima exchange some words and the latter leaves with an added step before the former turns to him.

"I would have hoped to bring you back with us so you and Ushijima could talk stuff out but it doesn't look like it's a good day for you."

"Do I need to break your nose again to make you understand that there's nothing I want to speak about with that... _that man_." Tooru tells himself to take a breathe and ignore the sympathetic look on Sawamura's face. "I don't want anything to do with him."

Sawamura watches his face for the longest time. He exhales.

After placing a firm hand on Tooru's shoulder, which Tooru desperately tries to shrug off to no avail, Sawamura squeezes his shoulder and tells him to—,"—take care of yourself, Oikawa."

That catches Tooru off guard. He certainly hadn't been expecting that.

Terushima interjects before Tooru has time to think about it, "So do we just leave him here or do I try to see if I can un-kiss him or something?"

Tooru tries to look as constipated as humanly possible. "I'd rather not have to wash my mouth out with lethe water twice, thank you very much."

Terushima frowns the tiniest bit. "Dude, I'm an _amazing_ kisser. You should be like, _honored_."

Tooru meets his frown with a smile. "If that was what's considered 'amazing' by human standards, I would have rather been kissed by old man Sawamura-chan over there. That was _disgraceful_ , Shima-chin."

"Sawamura, are listening to this slander?" Terushima asks his not very amused companion. Sawamura ignores that question in favor of answering Terushima's earlier one.

"I think Oikawa is smart enough to get out of this on his own." Sawamura has the gall to smile at Tooru and Tooru just _wishes_ he could punch him one more time.

Sawamura starts walking away. "We're leaving, Terushima."

"Wait, Sawamura, I need to prove to Oikawa how blessed he is to get a kiss from _me_ —"

Sawamura turns back with the most gut-wrenching of innocent smiles on his lips.

"We're leaving. Now."

They're out of site rather quickly after that.

Tooru pouts as it starts to actually rain. He's under a tree so he's sheltered from the chilly perspiration but he's still outside and unable to move much from his spot on the grass. YinYin is warm and soft behind him and he could maybe nap here just until the command wears off, with all the relaxing natural sounds and comfortable position and all, but he still can't get over the fact he got bested by a guy whose only weapon after he'd thrown away his actual firearm was a pair of lips.

He finds a more comfortable position against YinYin and resolves to sleep off his frustration.

* * *

Tetsurou had genuinely had faith that Oikawa stood an actual chance of defending the shrine. He'd believed that someone with enough magic to freeze a lake with a swish of his hand would be able to keep one bloody hammer from being stolen.

_"Have a little faith, Roocchi! Do you really think the great Oikawa-san can't handle the safeguarding of a single hammer?"_

Exasperated, Tetsurou swishes his arm in a long arc, not unlike a presenter before a big reveal, and pretends that his audience of wayward trees are silent because of hyped up awe and not because of some inability of speech. Oikawa watches him rather coolly from where his butt is stuck to the ground with Shiro's gigantic white fox supporting his back as Tetsurou announces bitterly, "Ladies and gents, I present the great Oikawa-san."

"Har har. Truly, Roocchi, you are a _delight_." Oikawa lifts a finger in a tut-tut sort of way before pointing at Tetsurou to emphasize his next point. "And just so you know, I let this happen of my own accord," he adds primly.

Tetsurou tries very hard to resist the urge to bend down and smack Oikawa but he loses. The resounding sound makes him feel just a tiny bit better. The remainder that Shiro will probably string Oikawa alive also brings him satisfactory justice. He just hopes this won't effect finding Kenma in any way.

"That doesn't make it any better," he articulates. "That just makes you out as more of an asshole than I had originally thought you were."

" _Roocchi!_ " Oikawa rubs the back of his head, aghast and astonished that Tetsurou would dare hit him. But then he turns his I'll Forgive You Because I Am The Great Oikawa-san face on and Tetsurou prepares himself for the bullshitery about to spew from the idiot in five four three two one—

"—That is very rude of you. But the great Oikawa-san has a big enough heart to forgive you if you do him this small favor."

"Why should I be doing you any favors? You sure didn't think about anyone else when you let your ass get handed to you by a tree."

"I _did not_ get bested by a _tree_." Oikawa seethes, and then he's back to prim and proper a moment later. "I need you to kiss me."

"What." Tetsurou begs for Oikawa not to mean what Tetsurou's seventy percent sure he's implying.

Oikawa _pouts_ and Tetsurou's hopes go out the window. "I don't want to be that bastard Terushima's slave for the rest of my life."

It takes a moment for him to get it. Tetsurou only relents and doesn't ask more because Oikawa looks two seconds away from batting his eyes and _seducing_ him into it. He drags a hand down his face. "Is there no other way to break this contract whatsoever?"

"Not really."

Tetsurou sighs, long and exasperated, before placing two hands on Oikawa's shoulders. Way too close for comfort. He can see the browns of Oikawa's eyes. "This reaches no one."

"You should feel _blessed_ to kiss me—"

"Oikawa."

"Fine. _Okay_ , have it your way." Tetsurou wants to smack a hand across his face when the bastard puckers up. He's really glad Yin's asleep and doesn't have to see any of the tragedy he's going through.

"Stop doing that."

The bastard is even confused by it. "Doing what?"

"That…" This is not some Facebook selfie for Oikawa to try his hardest to perfect. "That duck face."

"It's not a duck face! It's my kissing face!"

"You don't _need_ to have a kissing face right now. We're not really kissing." Why does Tetsurou even have to explain this? "Do you want to break this contract or not?"

It just now occurs to him that Oikawa having been placed under a contract means that he's an animal spirit. He'll have to ask him about that after this ordeal.

"Of course I do!"

"Ok, uh," his eyes are still too bright, "close your eyes."

"I thought we weren't kissing. Make up your mind, Roochi!"

It's at this point that Tetsurou breaks out. "You keep making this weird!"

Also at this point where Oikawa takes matters into his own hands. He rushes forward, lips on Tetsurou and before Tetsurou can register what's happening. He pulls away and shoots Tetsurou a look of disdain which makes him feel like a gum under a shoe.

"Was that so hard?

"You know what? _Shut up_." Tetsurou buries his face in his hands with a groan. "Why do people keep forcing kisses on me?"

Oikawa stands up, and Tetsurou is grateful that the kiss actually worked. A growl catches his attention and Tetsurou is startled to find Yin glaring daggers at him.

He doesn't understand why until Oikawa takes her snout between both his hands and coos at the dog. "You're the only one for me, YinYin."

The amount of tail-wagging that statement causes is _illegal_. The only reason Tetsurou doesn't try to rectify the fox is because it does him the great favor of licking Oikawa's face off.

He laughs. _That's what you get for being such a jackass._

* * *

"Whatcha up to, Chibiko?"

 _Eep_ may have been too simple of sound to describe the noise Chibiko had just made. It was more like a _bwah_. Even after flurry of frantic wing beats, Satori can still feel the increased palpitations underneath his scales as he curls up the tengu's arm. It's common knowledge the birdbrains aren't too fond of reptiles but Satori had spent a day and half trying to find the brat so he's reaping his revenge. Even without that delayed dilemma, he'd probably still have snuck up on him.

"T-Tendou-san?!" Chibiko finally seems to have recognized him after flying a good ten meters upward. Satori pretends he coils a little tighter out of further spite and not because of the height. Snakes and high places aren't the best mix, either.

"The one and only!" he chirps. "Mind sssetting me down?"

"S-sure!" They're back on solid ground with his request and Satori flies off Hinata's arm and lands into his human form. He wants to kick himself the tiniest bit because Chibiko is still shaking, but he also doesn't care all that much either.

"So," Satori begins, hands on his hips as he rolls on the balls of his feet, "you gonna tell me why you were snooping around like it's nobody's business?"

"I-I—! I-I was looking for G-Goshiki!" Oh, Chibiko trying to dodge the subject? Satori's never seen the day.

"From the window of the third floor?" he quizzes, absolutely delighted when Hinata starts shaking even more uncontrollably. _Catch ya there, didn't I?_

Hinata opens and closes his mouth, no words coming out and Satori guesses he'll spare him just the tiniest bit.

"And just so ya know, out little Tsutomu-kun's out on a quest." Satori holds up a delicate finger. "Probably won't be back until next week, too." _Means you won't have any excuses to be sneaking around here until then. Whatcha ya gonna say to that, huh?_

Chibiko is still speechless and shaking. He's wringing his hands together in a way that seems awfully familiar to Satori. He's still contemplating whether or not he should play his last trick. Semisemi and Kenjirou might string him alive if there are repercussions. Hell, even Wakatoshi will be angry with him.

But Satori's got the perfect line and he's _dying_ to say it. He's never been very good at resisting temptation. It's probably why Tadashi ceased to exist and how he'd gotten booted out of his old home. Aw, _now_ he's _sad_. Why'd he have to start thinking about _that_?

There's only one way to cheer himself up.

"Kenma-kun, was it? The deity of the dog shrine?" Satori narrows his eyes and smirks as Hinata jolts and stares up at him. Satori's blood tingles with anticipation. _This was_ so _worth it~!_

"You know, Kenjirou-kun was real good friends with him." Chibiko is eating up every single word. He was more attached to this than Satori had expected. "They used to go on quests. Didn't really get how they clicked, but they did."

"Kenma…" Satori halts. It's the first time Chibiko's spoken since Satori called him out. "…used to go on quests?"

"'Course! All the time!" Although, the way Chibiko said that made it seem like he was more surprised that Kenma went on quests than the fact he went on quests with Kenjirou. Satori's a little thrown off by that. How antisocial was the kid if his friends didn't even know what he'd been doing half the time? Quests weren't exactly a short half-hour journey. They sometimes took days.

Back to the subject.

"The last one they went on, though, hm," Satori puts a finger to his chin and tilts his head in thought. He then smirks at Hinata, "I remember it being pretty bloody."

Satori immediately frowns when Chibiko's eyes goes dark and stormy. It's that creepy no-fun face he gets when he's serious. He's stopped shaking and is now eye-to-eye with Satori.

"What happened to Kenma?"

This is not fun at all.

"Kenma? Who said anything about a Kenma? I sure didn't!" Hinata is having none of his bullshit as his eyes go even harder.

"Tendou-san—"

"Whoops, look at the time!" Satori eyes an imaginary watch strapped around his wrist. "I promised Wakatoshi-kun I'd meet up with him right about now! Can't keep the big boss waiting!"

He's back to being a snake and slithering out of there before Hinata can catch him.

"Sssmell ya later, Chibiko!"

* * *

"You have got to be shitting me."

Terushima grins good naturally despite the slightest exasperation in his voice. "Eita, bro, I definitely ain't shitting with this. Either one of ya gets a sudden efficiency for lightening magic or we're gonna have to wait until I can charge this baby up even more—" He pats his newly acquired mallet rather happily, "—and boom, you have your descendant."

The deadpanned exasperation on Eita's face has reached maximum levels and still Terushima is grinning.

"Wait," Eita repeats, just to make sure Terushima can hear himself. "Wait even more so the the bratty shit god will have even more time resurrect himself."

"We don't really know that for sure—"

"Terushima." Daichi turns the megawatt innocent Regret Every Decision In Your Life Or I'll Make You Regret Them smile on the stupid 'lightening' god before his face scowls dark enough to block out what small rays of sunshine and hope they still have at doing this. Eita really appreciates it right now. "Are you telling me we did all that for nothing?"

Terushima immediately backtracks, hands held defensively and pushed back as far as he can in his wooden chair, as far away from Daichi as possible.

"'Course not! You really think I willingly want Miss Nothing Will Stop Me But Death breathing down my neck just for _fun_?"

"That's what it seems like." Daichi grinds out, back it again with the regret-inducing smiles. Eita would really appreciate just letting Daichi handle this (and maybe even punch the stupid god) but they frankly don't have time for this.

"Why can't you charge it faster?" Eita implores and of course, being the bitter mofo Satori always says he is, can't help but add, "Being a fucking _lightening_ god and all."

"Bitter much?" Terushima actually has the gale to _sigh_ like he's the one with the world on his shoulders. "I don't have enough power."

Eita blinks long and slow, his mind reeling with the fact that Terushima's actually saying something sensible.

"I'd like to know why we had to get your mallet and risk both Oikawa and Kokkuri finding out about everything if we can't even use it," Daichi questions quite levelly, arms crossed over his chest. Eita has to give him props for the restraint he manages to string together in the inquiry while simultaneously sounding like he was half a second away from biting Terushima's head off.

"That one ain't on me, I didn't make that plan. But I made the next _better_ one which is so much more fun."

As much as Eita wants to put the blame on Terushima for wasting their time on a plan that wasn't even plan A, it was Kenjirou that had insisted they needed the hammer and he'd never proved them wrong yet.

So Eita groans and Daichi sighs and Terushima grins.

"Guess whose Divine Assembly is just around the corner?"

* * *

"Absolutely not."

However much debt they currently owed Shiro for her helpful contributions did not justify her free rein of the mountain. She may have stabilized Ikkei's condition, dispelled the foul miasma, re-purified the sacred grounds, rejuvenated their wards, and given a physical and magical examination to nearly every tengu presently taking abode on Kurama Mountain, but that did not mean he would allow her to throw a _party_ with _Bokuto_ as head-honcho.

An irritated exhale escapes Shiro. She prods his wing until he reluctantly expands it fully. When Keiji had meant by nearly every tengu, was to exclude himself. He'd done the impossible to avoid this — he could take care of himself splendidly without her guidance, thank you very much — but he'd been entrapped in the end. He'll forever hold a grudge against Haruki for that one.

"Keiji dear, have you even given a moment's thought as to the reason I guided Koutarou here?" Her eyes scan his feathers meticulously. She nods to herself and gestures for him to unfurl the other one. "Do you truly take me as that spiteful?"

The arising silence speaks for itself as her glare catches the meager sunlight peeking in from the wooden rafters.

"Have any of you journeyed outside the residents as of late?"

Keiji shifts on his feet. He can talk technical. "We feared what negative effects the foul miasma may have had—"

" _Keiji_ ," she interrupts him sharply. He does not appreciate how their corresponding heights make it impossible for him to break eye contact surreptitiously, "You are fully aware of how fearful humans can be of the unknown. They strive meticulously to insure none of their own succumbs to the shadows. Did you not think it strange of Koutarou to become lost with surely the hundreds of signs the humans have placed? With all the wards the tengu themselves have cast? With the tengu posing as human rangers to insure no human takes foot on their grounds?"

Keiji does not respect being lectured. He concedes to the points Shiro has specified to rationalize her spiriting away Bokuto, but she holds no right to accuse him and his family of being lax. If something ominous lurks within the mountain, then the tengu must always protect themselves before anyone else. Surely the blood of one human weighs little against the lives of an entire murder of tengu.

"I appreciate your concern, Shiro-san, but it is unwarranted," he accuses levelly, folding his wings back and straightening up primly. "We have already informed the humans of Bokuto-san's safety. The both of you may reside here until the rest of the miasma is dispelled, after which you are highly encouraged to leave."

Surprisingly, Keiji informing her of how unwelcomed she is simply produces a smile. "How generous of you, Keiji. I had never dreamed of ever being invited to a tengu celebration by you of all beings."

Keiji's just about to remind her that he had not permitted her little idea in the least degree when the sound of cheering catches his ears. Ikkei is still resting from his illness, so no one should be making such a ruckus. Keiji takes three steps to the sliding door and throws it open for half his clan to fall through into the room. The other half continues their whooping and excited flapping in the garden. One quick scan is enough for him to find Bokuto. He's with the group who fall within in the room, on top of Akinori.

His opening of the sliding door only serves to make the cheering louder.

"What is the meaning of this?" he asks abruptly. Yes, they all have to allow Ikkei some quiet peace for him to rest, but Keiji has never seen his brethren so… happy.

"Party! Party!" The little ones are flapping about and doing cartwheels excitedly. It warms Keiji's heart a little to seem them so joyful after that snake scare.

"Did you really say yes, Keiji?!" Haruki hoots. He's leaning on his palms which are supported by Akinori's back. The both of them then go flying as Bokuto shoots up.

Fiddling with his fingers, Keiji finds it suffocatingly hard to confess his disagreement on the matter. He despises being played like this by the she-devil smirking in the corner, and he has an infinite amount of dilemmas with them tengu parodying human-like celebrations because their own are seen as _old-fashioned_ and _stingy_. There's also the nightmare of Bokuto's hand in the matter. That alone is a con big enough to scrap the entire tribulation under a carpet.

But he's never seen any of them so _happy_ before.

Two large hands clasp his, and he scrunches up his face both at not only being touched by a human, but also being looked at with such sparkly eyes.

"I promise this will be the greatest, coolest, most awesome party ever to go down in tengu history! It will be so great, Akaashi!"

And really, that should have been his cue to cut off their dreams then and there, had Shiro not added, "I will cook."

The only redeeming quality in the she-devil is her astounding catering ability.

Keiji pretends he's stronger than letting all thoughts of negating the party fly out the window with the remembrance of _Shiro's cooking_ as he sighs and asks, "How shall we go about the preparations, Bokuto-san?"

Despite the nature of the residents of Kurama Mountain, Bokuto's screech is the loudest of them all.

* * *

Since he now has no reason to stay cooped up in the shrine, Oikawa Tooru sets out on a journey.

Journey is much too strong a word, however. He's going on something of a vacation for the afternoon. Shiro has informed of him of a rather quaint little youkai-friendly cafe situated somewhere in this little town. Tooru's sure to find it if he walks around a bit.

Roocchi had deemed it necessary to provide Tooru with the ground rules for passing off as human. Naturally, Tooru had no need for them. An hour of meticulous observation on a bench as the human go to and fro is all he requires to pass off as more human than even the humans themselves. It's fun in a way Tooru's never known. Here, he's the strongest. He's number one on every agenda. He's able to live in a way he's never known existed. Wear a sheep skin among the sheep. It's hilarious. And it is satisfying.

Tooru locates The Bakeneko's Retreat after his third flirtation, and enters the establishment with the air of someone who might own the place.

A cute, round-faced, raven-haired boy dressed it what appears to be butler attire greets him with a bow and a warm smile.

"Welcome back, master—"

"I accept."

The boy, dazzled, blinks twice at him. "Sir?"

Tooru flicks his bangs and places a hand to his hip. "I accept whatever job offer you have for me."

The boy brings up a dish he'd been holding closer to his face, like some impromptu shield, and peers at Tooru over it, the resemblance to that of a frightened kitten uncanny.

He probably is one.

"We... we don't have any job offers at the moment—"

"Of course you don't." Tooru scans the inside of The Bakeneko's Retreat with a lazy smirk. From his observations, at this particular time of day, the cafe should be packed with teenage humans. The white and pink round tables, and red sofas are empty of customers. The glass display cases are lined perfectly with lines of untouched delights. The cafe currently houses no more than three people: himself, Butler Boy, and another boy at a silver register behind the counter with an uncanny resemblance to a yellow koala. "Which is why I so selflessly offer my services."

Yellow Koala Boy vaults over the counter. Yes, this cafe definitely needed revamping.

"Master Sir-sama!" One too many titles, but Tooru can't deny he doesn't enjoy being addressed to so highly. "We really don't need more staff!"

"That's where you are right, Koala-kun," Tooru touts, waggling a finger. They are wrong and they are blessed. To have Oikawa Tooru himself offer to help get their little abode booming again. "You don't need more staff, you just need _me_."

Tooru snaps his fingers. He's going to need to talk someone with more of a pull. "Where is your boss?"

Both of them immediately pale and exclaim in complete frightened unison. "B-boss?"

"What is going on out there!"

Butler Boy squeaks and Koala Boy jumps a foot in air. Someone with an air of authority stomps over, eyes narrowed and livid. Tooru likes him already.

"Manager-kun! Just the person I wanted to see!" Tooru exclaims, moving around the two frightened boys who are ogling like he's suddenly grow a second head.

The manager's anger decreases astonishingly, and he only shows the slightest confusion before equipping a terrifyingly dazzled smile.

"Who is this?"

Butler Boy and Koala Boy shake their head rapidly from behind the manager, probably trying to tell him something. Tooru ignores them.

"Your very own knight in shining armor!"

* * *

Morisuke sighs.

"What is it this time."

Morisuke catches Yukie's eyes with a confused look. "What?"

Yukie sets down her chopsticks, a feat Morisuke didn't think capable for one Shirofuku Yukie with her double major in foodie-ism and gourmand-ing. What strikes him with even more alarm is when she places her chin in the palm of her hand, her elbow supported by the table, and sighs.

" _What_." Does she not like the food? But she _always_ likes the food. Yukie has never _not_ liked his food. There are times he questions if she's dating him or his cooking ability. Is this a sign from the universe for him to start thinking about their long term relationship again? Suga and the dynamic idiots had already had a riot the last time they'd found out he'd had what they'd dubbed an 'existential crisis'. He didn't want live through that embarrassment again.

"This is what you've been doing for the past ten minutes."

Oh thank god. She was just parroting him—

"I have?"

"Yes." She picks up her chopsticks again. That relieves him more than it possibly should. She munches on some rice before continuing.

" _So_ … what's wrong?"

Morisuke almost tries to lie and say nothing is wrong, but Yukie narrows her eyes before he does. An expression informing him that he won't be able to play it off as tired when she's already caught him red-handed in the act.

"I..." He has more than one reason for wanting to avoid this subject, though. Not lying to Yukie is just another one of the points in the PowerPoint presentation titled Why Yaku Morisuke Does Not Want To Talk About It. He continues to brood it over while Yukie scoops up another spoonful of rice to replace the first one.

"Two heads are better than one," she insists, and that almost makes him want to groan and pull his hair out. He hates it when his friends use his own logic against him.

"I'm worried..." he begins, the lines of his face tight like his curled fingers. "I'm worried about... about Kuroo."

He doesn't have to elaborate or say anything more than that for her to understand. 'Worried about Kuroo' only has one meaning these days. It's very rare Morisuke is worried about Kuroo in anything that isn't related to Kozume Kenma.

"This year," he doesn't want to say that it's their last year because he wants to believe that word last connotes to the ending of their quest; their recovery of Kenma. However, Morisuke has never made a habit of lying to himself.

"If we don't find Kenma this year, he'll be proclaimed officially dead." Even if it is just a government thing, the fact is already a hurtful backlash to the heart. "I don't want... I don't want Kuroo to go back to the way he was first year of college when... when Kenma had just disappeared."

Too many awful events had happened to Kuroo that year. It had taken all of them to get him back to the way he was in high school. Seeing his previous volleyball captain so broken was a horrible experience. Even when they'd lost nationals in their third year of high school, he'd at least cried and whined and moaned about not being able to keep up their youthful days. With Kenma disappearing, with his mother _dying_ , Kuroo Tetsurou had been as silent as the grave they'd lowered his mother in.

He never wants to see that Kuroo again.

"I _know_ we don't have to let the... _officialness_ of it stop us, but... " _it's going to hurt_ , he acknowledges. _It's going to hurt Kuroo a lot_ , he recognizes. _It's going to hurt all of them a whole lot_ , he's been made painfully aware of. More than the fact that they'd failed, the act of having to attend Kozume Kenma's funeral with an empty casket will hurt more than anything.

"I don't know how we'll ever convince Kuroo to go to his funeral."

His silent plea is early and maybe even mean in a way, but Morisuke can't take not being prepared anymore.

Perhaps that's why Yukie's response is just a quiet. She doesn't say anything; no comment or retort or argument. She stands from her chair and walks around the table to his side, squats down until she's on her knees and wraps her arms around his stomach.

He's a whole lot embarrassed that's all it takes to make him feel better.

"You idiots should play volleyball again," she recommends after a bit. "None of you have even touched a volleyball after graduation. Nekomata-sensei would be furious."

Morisuke chuckles the tiniest degree at that. God only knows if the old man is still kicking now. The thought of playing volleyball all over again with his friends is a bigger tickle to his fancy than he expects. It would be fun to get the gang all together again and host a mock match. He'd fight his way on a team with both Iwaizumi and Suga, and maybe they'd be able to bribe Bokuto on their team too with some food. That would leave the terrible three against them on the other team. They'd have a much better defense, but Morisuke is confident in his block follows.

Bokuto would spike the ball right into their wall, and Morisuke would be quick to follow up. Bokuto would whine and growl at Kuroo while running back to position. The ball he'd received would go to Suga, who'd in turn set it to Iwaizumi. He'd strike a powerful serve, but Kuroo would receive in flawlessly and with a mad grin. It would have a perfect arc, and it would fall into the perfect place for Kenma to—

_We don't have Kenma anymore._

As much as Morisuke strives to prepare for the inevitable, he allows himself this one moment to lose himself in Yukie's embrace and just not think about it.

* * *

"How long are you planning on hiding down there, huh?"

Kenji answers Kamasaki's query with an anguished groan. The pillow under his head doesn't do much to soften the earth underneath the booth. He's just glad Kamasaki hasn't deemed him annoying enough to step on his face.

"Maybe if my oh so kind senpai would smuggle me some alcohol, I _might_ be grateful enough to—"

"And get Michimiya Strongarm on my case? Yeah, _no fucking thanks_."

Kenji smothers another groan in his pillow. He'd barely been able to snag the thing before he had to bolt. With Michimiya hunting him down and forcing him on a _schedule_ , he'd had no choice but to beg Kamasaki of all people to shield him away for a piece of mind.

Not that it would take her long to figure it out.

"So what's up with you and Shiro?"

Stop. Rewind. Play. Did Kamasaki just inquire about his _love life_?

"What do you mean, 'what's up with me and Shiro?'" He mimics Kamasaki's voice, a little too shocked to come up with a spicier remark. "Nothing is up between me and Shiro."

"You're still fighting?"

"We'renot _fighting._ " Why did it sound like he was actually interested in Kenji's wellbeing? This was getting creepier and more awkward within the minute. He almost prefers The Schedule of Michimiya's. Just almost. "Why do you suddenly _care_?"

"You're more tolerable for the rest of us when she's around."

" _Gee_ , thanks a bunch, Kamasaki-san—"

"I'm serious. Both of you go full asshole mode on each other, leave the rest of us alone, and then somehow end up happier every time." Kenji doesn't know if the slack-jawed moronic expression painted across his face is for that stupid sappy remark, or from Kamasaki adding, "Kinda shipped it."

" _You shipped us_ —"

"There you are!"

Michimiya Yui's face appears upside-down in his line of sight. Kenji jerks back and slams fully into the hard end of the booth. It wobbles dangerously before Kamasaki manages to wrap his arms around it and hold it down.

"Dammit, Michimiya! Give us a warning next time!" Kenji's head had already been promoted to CEO of the headache department, and the hard strike he'd just taken only intensified the pain.

This is all Shiro's fault. She'd been the one who introduced him to Michimiya. She'd been a third of the reason he'd gotten so bad. She'd been the one who—

His vision blurs.

There is a crow on a branch.

A familiar man grins madly at him.

Too familiar.

The familiar man turns into a crow.

There are two crows on a branch.

"—Futakuchi! Can you hear me?! _Futakuchi!_ "

His vision is rough around the edges. Where is he? Who… That's Kamasaki's ugly mug. Why does he look so alarmed? Michimiya's round face is next to Kamasaki's. Her eyes are large and worried ones. Why are they both staring at him like hell has just ran him over?

Did he have a vision?

_Shiro._

The panic finally starts to set in. He bolts up right. There's sweat pouring down his brow. His breathes are too quick.

"What…" It comes back to him slowly. "What do you call two crows on a branch?"

* * *

It wasn't like Eita had been counting out the possibility of someone storming the guild out of arrogance. He'd taken into account their fearsome reputation and the intruder's own sense of self-preservation when setting up wards. He'd also counted his fellow guild member's strength into the equation, and really, only a suicidal maniac would even think about doing something stupid like sneak into the most powerful guild in the youkai realm.

He hadn't considered the idiots, or Satori's big fat mouth and torch for trouble.

He tugs Shouyou fluttering and shouting into one of the empty rooms and clicks the door shut.

It's awhile before Eita can get him talking normally.

"We've been _over_ this, Shouyou, you can't just barge in here however you like!"

"But Tendou-san—"

"I don't _care_ what Satori said! We have _rules_ , and if you're going to keep acting like some unofficial member, then you're going to have to respect them!"

"Tell me what happened to Kenma!"

Eita smacks his face into his hands with a long groan. Satori just _had_ to go and tell Shouyou. They hadn't informed anyone to avoid serious consequences, especially anything consisting of this information reaching a certain fox which it would most certainly will if he didn't clear this up.

Eita was so going to rat the snake out to Wakatoshi the first chance he got.

"Sit down, Shouyou." His younger clan member stubbornly stays standing. Eita is not that far a ways from slamming his head against the nearest wall. "Sit and then we'll talk."

That certainly sends him fumbling for a chair rather quickly. Eita takes a deep breath.

"Kenma and Kenjirou were going to go on a quest right before he disappeared."

Surprisingly, Shouyou stays silent with this revelation. Eita can't place the expression on his face either, so he goes on as carefully as he can and as vaguely as he can possibly go.

"Something happened—" Understatement of the fucking year, "—and Kenjirou had to…"

Memories of a trembling Kenjirou covered in blood both too black and too red assault his mind. Eita can't quit when he has already revealed this much. He's going to have to tell Shouyou enough to get him on their side or else he'll go running off with all the wrong information right back to someone with the potential to kill them all.

"Kenjirou had to banish Kenma because he was possessed."

A second passes. Then five. Then ten more. Then an entire minute passes.

Then tears well up in Shouyou's eyes and begin cascading down his cheeks.

Eita is struck as dumb as a deer in headlights. He thought Shouyou would lash out, shout, complain, accuse them, or blame them. He'd been prepared for that. He'd had a million different ways to go about reasoning with him and making him understand; a million different ways to go about that conversation.

"K-Kenma… is Kenma r-really—"

"What— _No_ ," Eita wraps an arm around Shouyou's head, pushing him against his chest while his wings envelop the younger tengu. "No, Shouyou, _no_. He isn't— He isn't dead. Kenma isn't… dead."

Shouyou's shaking doesn't subside much by that statement.

"We know he's alive. We just… don't know where he is." Eita smooths down Shouyou's cowlicks to calm him. "We're looking for him. We _will_ to find him—"

"W-what do I tell S-Shiro-san..?"

Eita freezes. The word _shit_ purses an Olympic gold medal for running in his mind.

"S-she, she s-said—" Shouyou blabbers through words and Eita hears not a single one through the war drum in his ears. He has to rationalize the facts with himself to gain some semblance of calm.

Kokkuri still has no knowledge of their involvement with Kenma. Shouyou is merely asking because of his involvement and friendship with both her and Kenma. Eita just has to insure no word of this reaches Kokkuri through Shouyou and then they'll all be back in safe mode.

Except Satori. Eita is going to have a lot of choice words with that snake when this is over.

"Shouyou." Eita grasps his shoulders and that stops anything the young tengu may have been saying. "You... We can't tell Kokkuri."

Eita finally gets the outburst he was expecting, and it does nothing to relive him in the least.

"B-but Kenma is important to her too!" He scrubs his eyes furiously with the garb of his sleeve, his other fist white against his side. The motion doesn't help halt the tears in the least, and coped with the tight guilt in the lines of his scrunched up face, Eita's heart is not spared any of his previous resolve. "She's still... s-she's still looking for him! And I—! I said I'd help h-her..."

"Shouyou." Eita has only to use his last resort as he vocalizes Shouyou's name with a resolved desperation. Eita loves this guild. They've become a sort of extended family to him and he'd do anything to protect them all. Wakatoshi, _Tooru_ , Tsutomu, Kenjirou, Daichi, Kei, Reon, Hayato... He'd probably even lay down his life for that bastard Satori if it ever came to that. He needs to keep them all safe.

Shouyou tremblingly peers at him through red-rimmed eyes. His mouth quivers as he tries to hold back more waterworks and his hand is clawed around the fabric of his heart like it hurts him. It probably does. Just like Eita's does. Shouyou's his family too. Eita never wanted to hurt him like this either.

"If you tell her she'll... she'll kill Kenjirou. And that would be the least of what she would do."

Predictably, Shouyou has nothing to say to that because he knows, and Eita knows, and they all _know..._ they all know that Kokkuri Chishiro is a dead man's switch with murder as the first order.

* * *

Kentarou knocks the door down.

"Where the fuck is Terushima?"

Kurokawa doesn't even bat an eye.

He's stretched across some fancy schmancy couch like spoiled overgrown bear popping popcorn in his mouth and watching some anime. It's after another mouthful of popcorn in which Kentarou nearly blows his top does he say, "We've been over this."

"I don't give a fuck! I've been looking for him for three fucking days! Where the fuck is he?"

Kurokawa ignores Kentarou and continues to watch his anime. Kentarou knows he can't take him in a fight but that doesn't stop him from wanting to punch him.

"Kurokawa! Tell me where he is!"

Silence.

The only reason Kentarou walks back out the ruins of the door and knocks on the hardwood is because this is Terushima's house. He won't destroy anything in here (well, besides the door), and Kurokawa has proven his stubbornness for these sorts of situations in the past.

Kurokawa clambers off the couch and languidly strolls towards the broken door, his thin tail swishing lazily. "Yes?"

"Where the fuck is Terushima?"

Kurokawa scratches his scalp. "I honestly have no idea."

Kentarou throws the first punch, consequences be damned. He's on his back in two seconds flat. The bastard even has the gale to sit on him.

He struggles to remove the jerk. "Get the fuck off me, you —"

"I think there's a quest in Tokyo he wants to go on," he drawls, not even budging from all Kentarou's squirming. "No idea why. Probably some girl involved."

Kentarou pauses. A quest? Tokyo? Kentarou hadn't even known, " Terushima is in a guild?" to begin with.

"I don't think he's actually a member. He's probably just fooling around for shits and giggles. I think it was called… Sainetto? The Sainetto Society? Something like that."

Terushima was in _Ushjima's_ guild for shits and giggles?

Kurokawa knows just as much as Kentarou does and he scowls at that. If Kentarou wants answers, he's going to have to ask someone else.

Someone he truly despises to his very core. Even just thinking about asking Yahaba for information sends him in a foul mood. He _could_ always ask Shiro, but she always had the potential of being a cold-hearted bitch when it came to information, especially when it affiliates her with Terushima.

His scowl deepens when naggy pretentious smart aleck Yahaba Shigeru is the better stool between the two.

* * *

Everything is chaotic, too colorful, plain out vile, and extremely _Bokuto_.

There are technicolored ribbons lassoed around every single possible object in the residents. Plastic contraptions filled with air and tied with more ribbons dot the gardens. Something Bokuto christened glitter is on everything, including Keiji's feathers (he's still endeavoring to remove the disgusting sparkles). The horrendous screams of what Bokuto swears is music coming from his phone are grating on the ears. What food not made by Shiro and bought on Bokuto's instruction is a sugary assault on the taste buds. Keiji hasn't even touched the neon colored treats.

From Keiji's calculations, a week and counting is required to purify the shrine of Bokuto's influences. Ikkei still hadn't awoken from his slumber. Shouyou is still out and about. Eita hasn't visited in a while. Topping the clean-up of an entire mountain is an artistic work towards pushing Keiji's nerves. Excluding of course whatever ominous presence Shiro hints may have taken abode on their precious land.

Forgoing all that, Keiji regretfully concedes to the fact that he's having fun.

Naturally, Bokuto doesn't believe him.

"Come on, A- _kaashi_! You've eaten like fifty of those onigiri alone! They're not going anywhere! Come out and have some fun!" he whines, trying to move Keiji away from where the platter of onigiri rests in front of him. Keiji ignores him and swallows the rice ball in his hands while reaching for another.

Bokuto then tries the stupid move of taking the dish away.

"If you so much as move the platter a centimeter from its original position, you will be in a world of pain."

Bokuto snatches his hand away with the other one, ridiculous eyebrows ascending. Then his shoulders droop and his entire demeanor turns into that of a pouting child's.

"Why don't you like the party, 'Kaashi?"

Keiji pauses before he chugs another onigiri. "I indicated no such thing."

"But you aren't having fun!"

"A personal assumption on your end."

"You've been sitting there the whole time looking grumpy!"

Akinori comes to either potentially save him, or make it worse. He slips an arm around Keiji's shoulders. "That's just how Keiji always looks. What did you human's call it? Resting bitch face?"

Definitely the second one. " _Akinori_. Such language is—"

"Aki! _Aki_!" Haruki comes flying over and tumbles into Bokuto. Keiji swiftly lifts the platter and saves his precious onigiri. Haruki steadies himself on Bokuto's shoulders before whipping back around to Akinori. "Shiro's doing the kagura dance!"

" _No way_." Akinori exclaims, at the same time Keiji deadpans lividly and Bokuto quizzes confusedly with a, "what?"

The both of them flap off. Bokuto rushes after them a moment later, with Keiji on his tail. Keiji halts momentarily, has a moment of contemplation, goes back for the plate of onigiri, places exactly one rice ball on a smaller plate to the side of the humongous one, then heaves the entire platter in his arms, and trudges after Bokuto.

The chime of a bell meets his ears before anything else. His eyes flicker owlishly not only from red and white kimono Shiro has adorned, but from the silent tengu seated on the grounds of the gardens. Shiro tiptoes languidly from position to position on a raised wooden platform, sleeves of a kimono swishing like a flow of water. The golden bells suspended by the red wood in her hands twinkle and ring with all her calculated movements. Had he been a lesser being, he'd be enraptured with her masquerade. However, he is more impressed with how still Bokuto has gone. Keiji had not thought him capable of such a thing as quiet and tranquility.

He'll give that one to the demon woman.

Shiro ends with a languid twirl. Keiji is slightly taken aback by the amount of whooping, whistling, and hooting following the end of the dance. He sets his face back into something neutral and grabs for another onigiri. Clean up aside, the reeducation required to cleanse them all and remind his fellow brethren of their prestigious tengu roots alone will take ages. He places the rice ball in in mouth and chews tiredly. For once, Keiji is not in the mood to think about future duties.

He nearly chokes when Ikkei stalks out of his room with a frown to his face.

"What's all this ruckus?" he asks. A pin drop could be heard with the pursing silence enveloping the entire residence.

Swallowing the entire onigiri whole and leaving a bad burn in his throat, Keiji rushes to his side.

"Ikkei-sama, are you well? Shall I fetch you anything?" Then Keiji remembers the multi-colored disaster the mountain is in. His eyes flicker towards Bokuto.

"I can explain—"

"'Can't believe ya barely hatched fledglings decided to knock an old man out just to throw a party," Ikkei criticizes, arms folded and grayish wings poised intimidatingly.

Keiji had feared this, but nothing had prepared him for Ikkei accusing them of attacking him. He feels a bit light headed, and the onigiri don't sit as well in his stomach anymore.

"Y'all think just 'cuz I'm old I don't know how to enjoy a celebration!" he barks. Keiji doesn't even know where to begin to correct him. He's suddenly feeling very cold.

But then Ikkei surprises them all when his frown transforms into a mad grin. "Let's see which one of ya can party harder than me, eh?"

The cheering is back to stentorian in a moment. Perhaps the only thing that could compete with the sheer magnitude of such a sound would be the relief washing over Keiji. He's had one too many heart attacks today. He goes back to his humongous plate of rice balls and proceeds to stuff himself silly.

* * *

Mornings without Shiro go a little like this:

Tetsurou's alarm wakes up Iwaizumi in the adjacent room while Tetsurou himself continues to snore. Iwaizumi trudges in with a scowl dark enough to cull even the greatest of men and a cup of water. He dumps the liquid all over Tetsurou's face, yanks the blanket off, throws it into a corner, and then marches off back to his own bed to sleep for another hour.

At this point, Tetsurou gains enough awareness to slog his way into the kitchen and turn on the coffee machine. With a cup in hand, he heads into the living room and curls up on a couch to file through social media while he drinks the much needed sustenance. He still hasn't figured out how Shiro even has Wifi with how remote the shrine is, but he guesses Kenma probably had something to do with it.

He'll watch whatever video Hanamaki's uploaded, smiling and chuckling to himself. He'll also respond to any messages his friend may have sent. Matsukawa for some reason wants to know where Daishou ended up. Tetsurou responds with something about how he's sent the jerk fifteen messages and still hasn't gotten a single reply. He's both exasperated and slightly worried. He understands the jerk's a mean bean to the very core but would it kill him to at least send anything just to confirm his existence?

Once he empties his mug, he'll brush his teeth, fight with his hair, get dressed, and head off to work.

Today is no exception. Except that it _is_ , because Oikawa got a job, and anything involving Oikawa Tooru becomes chaotic, including mornings.

"You've been in there for _twenty minutes,_ " Tetsurou accuses, banging on the door for the nth time. " _Logically_ , you should be done by now. I don't even know what you're doing in there but _get out_."

"You simply can't rush perfection, Roocchi," comes the muffled reply. Tetsurou has been hearing modified reiterations of that same exact statement for the past twenty minutes, too. "Besides, there _are_ other bathrooms, you know."

"All my stuff is in this one." Tetsurou wearily rubs his eyes. Oikawa should know that, but _of course_ he had to go and lock himself in Tetsurou's bathroom, because _supposedly_ , it has the best lighting. Tetsurou doesn't even understand why Oikawa even needs good lighting. It's not like he's making a YouTube tutorial of his morning makeup routine but he just hopes he'll hurry up and haul ass out of there.

Three more minutes elapse of this bickering and Tetsurou has had enough.

He stalks off to his room, rummages around his drawer until he finds a talisman and a market, messily writes the kanji for _unlock_ , and then heads off back to the bathroom.

The resounding click is music to his ears.

Steam rolls out as Oikawa Tooru stands in the most ridiculous shirt and boxers at the center of the washroom. Toothbrush in hand, face mask in place, hair held back by clips, and an expression to make anyone feel like gun under a shoe, Oikawa drawls out a, "yes?"

Tetsurou doesn't even comment. "Move."

They're both stuck passive aggressively brushing their teeth side by side with the occasional rough hip check. Predictably, Oikawa is the first one to break the silence.

"I was almost done."

Tetsurou side-eyes what Oikawa calls 'almost done'. "Sure you were."

"Just because you allow yourself to go out with that disastrous rat's nest you call hair, doesn't mean that rest of us have to follow suit."

"Believe it or not, this is me trying." Tetsurou deadpans around a toothbrush while gesturing a hand to his hair. The other hand is still busy brushing his teeth. "Also, last time I checked, you weren't exactly working on your hair."

"A host must always strive to look his best, Roocchi," Oikawa remarks primly, replacing his toothbrush into its original position and then preceding to peel off the face mask. "Not that I'd expect you to understand."

Tetsurou pauses for several reasons, and none of them involve the not so surprising realization that Oikawa Tooru managed to haggle a job as a 'professional ladykiller'.

Number one: what host club opens up at eight in the morning? Surely that stereotype can't be wrong, right?

Number two: Oikawa gets a job as a host after all that hard time he gave Tetsurou for being the stripper he really isn't? So not only does the jerk insist on being an asshole but a hypocrite too?

Number three: is Oikawa even a legal citizen? Tetsurou knows he isn't human, and he's not entirely sure how youkai go about human legalities. Shiro would know, wouldn't she? She had probably been the one to enroll Kenma in school. He guesses they'll have to wait until she comes back to figure out how to deal with that one.

"Come to think of it, what are you?"

"You're going to have to be more specific for me to understand what goes on in your nonexistent brain."

Tetsurou does not even try to dignify that with a response. "What kind of spirit are you?"

Oikawa, with a face now shiny enough to even give Shiro a run for her money, narrows his eyes and the corners of his mouth twitch into a smirk. "Now why would you want to know that, Roocchi?"

"Do you really have to start so early in the morning?"

"I have absolutely _no_ clue what you're talking about~"

Oikawa takes the clip out of his hair and gives it a good toss. Despite Tetsurou seeing it will his own eyes, he still has trouble believing that's all it took for Oikawa to get his perfectly tousled do.

He's mega jealous.

"Why do all of you get defensive when I ask about youkai?" Tetsurou mumbles. His own toothbrush is back in place and he gives a sad look to his hairbrush. Should he even try today?

Oikawa's cryptic response to this takes Tetsurou unaware. "It's in our nature." There's a look in his eyes Tetsurou can't place. It causes him to frown.

Something huge, white, and furry pushes its way into the bathroom before Tetsurou can comment further. Yin knocks his knees out from under him and he flips off her back onto the boarded floor. She snakes around Oikawa's waist once before nipping his hand.

The look disappears almost immediately.

Tetsurou would care more if his back and head didn't ache something fierce from tripping over the monster fox.

"Don't worry, YinYin," Oikawa coos while holding her muzzle between his hands. Tetsurou warily stands up and pretends to gag at the display. "I'll be back soon."

The smirk Oikawa throws his way after that is devious.

"Don't you have somewhere to go, Roocchi?"

Tetsurou fumbles for his phone with a " _shit_ " and exits the bathroom faster than ever. It's after he's out of shrine and flagging down a bus that he realizes Oikawa had changed the subject.

* * *

Barely three day pass since Oikawa Tooru's surprise appearance, and business couldn't have been better.

While Shigeru is grateful something is finally looking up for his cafe, he isn't entirely sure if Oikawa's way of shamelessly flirting with half their customers is reflecting positively with the rest of his staff. Yuuki is already reciprocating Oikawa's method, taking advantage of his young boyish looks because, "Oikawa-san said I should use my appeal to its full potential!" Shigeru had no idea that Yuuki could play teary-eyed that easily, and he's even a little more flabbergasted that it works just as well with his male patriots as their female ones.

Shigeru honestly doesn't even want to know what Oikawa told Lev, but he did something with the hair, and now, not only does Haiba Lev look like some well brought up, handsome lovechild of a CEO and their foreign mistress, but he also leaves at least one person at just about every table he serves a stammering blushy mess.

Kanji, well, he'd thought that even Oikawa couldn't do anything about Kanji, but he'd shoved the kid in a tux and a pair of dark sunglasses, and Shigeru still has not received a single weary or relived expression he's accustomed to seeing for everyone who's just had to deal with Kanji's over exuberance. Oikawa had said something about the contrast between interior and exterior proving an appealing factor, but Shigeru really doesn't care.

Too long; didn't read, Oikawa Tooru had turned their cafe into a pseudo host club.

Understandably, Shigeru is more than a little worried about Kyotani's reaction. The werewolf had been out the past couple days, and he's not sure anything could begin to prepare him for losing his Oikawa virginity.

Or maybe Shigeru should be more worried about the fact that Oikawa Tooru, Ex Sainetto Society Member, brother of Ushijima Wakatoshi, and all the baggage that followed these titles was now more or less his responsibility. Shigeru knows Oikawa must be staying somewhere, he's just not entirely sure _where_ , and that bothers him.

"Oikawa-san," Shigeru calls before the man heads off to serve another table, small disarming smile taut, the accumulating stress of having to deal with customers _and_ his own staff for a while. "I need to know some of your information so I can fill out these forms."

Which isn't much of a lie at all, to be honest. They might need to do it at this exact moment, but they'll need to officially write him down as a staff member eventually.

As per usual, at any attempt to get Oikawa to talk about himself, he puffs up like a peacock and leans way too into Shigeru's personal space for comfort. " _Oho_? Yahabacchi wants to know more about me?"

Shigeru does not even attempt to surreptitiously lean away from those leering eyes. "I already told you, I need I fill these out to make this all official. Humans needs documentation of just about everything that goes on, so—"

"So you _did_ know. Aren't you the smart one, eh, Yahaba-kun?" And really, Oikawa should not wrap his arms around Yahaba's shoulders and start playing with his hair under any circumstance. Some guests are already staring, and Yahaba is having trouble getting out of Oikawa's grip.

"Oikawa-san—"

"How do you make your hair so puffy, Yahaba-kun?" And then he tugs a little too hard on Shigeru's hair. "It annoys me."

Shigeru forcibly removes Oikawa probing hand before he yanks anything else. There's now one too many pairs of eyes boring holes their way, and Shigeru really isn't sure if he should be more or less worried about the half of them that look... excited.

"Oikawa-san, you can't do this—" Shigeru almost says 'in public' but then he thinks a bit about the implications of that statement and decides otherwise. "It isn't proper for a _human_ in this society to initiate so much physical contact."

Oikawa's eyes flicker over their audience. Shigeru can physically see all the attention get to his head, making it impossible for Shigeru's warning to penetrate his thick skull. Or rather, maybe it's because of him telling Oikawa what not to do that he exhibits a reverse psychological action.

"Your words are my command, Yahabacchi," he mocks, manic grin smeared across his face as he leans forward and snags a kiss from Shigeru's cheek before dashing off to serve another customer.

Shigeru is going to pretend he did not hear the barely contained squeals erupting from a rather large number of the tables. He's still unsure if they're better off with or without Oikawa and his tendency to take advantage of everything, but Shigeru supposes that anything is better than shutting down the cafe.

* * *

"You can't just expect us to fucking drop this!"

" _Please_ , if it has to do with Chi, I want to help—"

"I have _no_ idea what the two of you are on about," Kenji taunts, continuing on his merry way like he has no care in the world. On the outside at least. On the inside, well, his blood isn't that cold. He's more annoyed with the how fast his heart did jump in his mouth with what happened. He's been doing this does decades. He should be used to the occasional fainting premonition.

Some traitorous part of him cheerfully reminds him of the true reason he'd temporarily turned into a bundle of nerves. He ignores that part rather blatantly.

Kamasaki grabs his arm. "Where the hell are you even going?"

"Me? Who said I was going anywhere? I'm not going anywhere. Where are _you_ going?" Kenji asks mockingly. Kamasaki downright growls at him. Michimiya continues trying to guilt him into breaking with her worried eyebrows. He's become an expert at snubbing her efforts through years of experience.

"Tell us what the sight was about." Kamasaki insists, his grip on Kenji's arm iron. If Kenji wants to get to his destination without both of them sticking to him like leeches, then he's going to have to improvise.

Probably only advantage he ever got out of romancing a fox spirit was the meager hands-on magical experience. He's still shit at magic, but he's capable of making a diversion.

And bullshitting. He's great at bullshitting.

"Hey, Kamasaki-san, I think your favorite cop is back again."

That immediately has Kamasaki whipping around and bolting for his stall. He's got one down and one to go.

The only reason Kenji doesn't want Michimiya knowing is because he doesn't want her getting ideas about him again. So he lies.

"I'm going to request a quest from the Swans. It's _not_ about Shiro."

Michimiya gives him a long, betrayed look. Then she sighs.

"Ok."

Well that worked better than he expected.

What definitely isn't going to work is Kenji pretending he hasn't been avoiding the Sainetto Society Guild for years and waltzing through the arc made of two marbled swans like he owns the place. The only saving grace of the sudden ball of anxiety he's rolled himself in is the possibility of snagging a picture of Aone from the guild's bulletin board.

The Sainetto Society is known for many ventures, and honoring their fallen is one of them.

* * *

It was bad enough that Shibayama was turning into his own miniature version of Yahaba. Kentarou leaves the cafe for a few days and suddenly, they now have another taller, more pretentious, more annoying copy of Yahaba Shigeru.

He should've had thought this through more when he'd faced the consequences of leaving Lev. He'd believed nothing was worse than having one's apartment burn to the ground, but Oikawa Tooru certainly took the Worst Person To Ever Acquaint With In Your Life Since Kuroo Tetsurou cake completely.

"If he ever tries to fucking _kiss_ me again, I swear I'll—"

"Yes, we've heard all the death threats. Sit down."

Kentarou bites back a retort with a grumble and plunks down on the desk chair in Yahaba's office. Oikawa hadn't taken kindly to Kentarou attempting to punch the living daylights out of him, and had surreptitiously cast a chill over him. Usually, the cold doesn't at all bother him thanks to the werewolf blood coursing through his veins, but that magic had been cold enough to lock his limbs and even make him shiver. Yahaba had come to save face and haul his ass out of that situation and was now preceding to wrap him in enough aluminum foil to make him look like a shiny mummified pharaoh.

Kentarou tries very hard to be on his 'best behavior'. Not enough to be a kiss-ass but just enough to insure Yahaba's doesn't give him a hard time if Kentarou's going to ask for favors.

"This is stupid." The keyword had been tried, which could also be read as failed in this situation.

And there is the original Yahaba Shigeru trademark glare, complete with all the snark and sass one expects from Yahaba.

"I'll have you know, that while you were off frolicking after Terushima like an idiot, Oikawa-san has done more to help this cafe in the past _day_ then you have in your entire life."

Kentarou frowns, the implications of that statement flying entirely over his head as soon as he heard Terushima's name. "How'd you know I was looking for Terushima?"

Yahaba rips off the last of the aluminum foil and gives an appreciative nod to his own handiwork. Kentarou is already feeling warmer, but he finds the crinkle and crumple every time he moves very irritating.

"Yuuki told me about your... _plight_ ," he reveals with an amused lit to his tone. "I put two and two together."

"Where is he then," Kentarou demands. He's become sick and tired of having to deal with the damned hulder, and if he has to stay in the vicinity of one Oikawa Tooru for any longer than strictly necessary, he's going to end his own life.

Of course, he'd forgotten just how stubborn and annoying Yahaba is when his buttons are pushed the wrong way.

"If you're going to continue living here then you're going to have start doing your part you know," Yahaba grinds out through a tight-lipped mouth, arms crossed over his chest.

That statement is just plain provoking to Kentarou. _Yahaba_ had been the one who insisted they live here. Kentarou had never had the desire to do so. He's actually actively looking for another apartment so he can move out of here. And, contrarily to Yahaba's 'profound' beliefs, Kentarou _is_ playing his part by _not_ being around the cafe.

Cafes need friendly looking people to man them; people with good graces and customer service feature built in. Kentarou doesn't have any of that. He isn't cute and patient like Shibayama; he isn't hard-working and strong-willed like Lev; he isn't passionate and exuberant like Kogenegawa; and he definitely isn't level-headed and calculating like Yahaba.

Kentarou is rude and aggressive and mean and scary-looking. What does Yahaba expect from him to do in a place where he's supposed to smile and be nice as a default?

But before Kentarou can snap at him, a miracle happens. Yahaba sighs and _lets the argument go._

If that hadn't been enough to bushwhack Kentarou to the moon and back, then Yahaba placing two firm hands on his aluminum foil-covered shoulders and regarding him with _earnest_ and _worry_ certainly flung him into a doozie.

"Kyoutani, I need you to listen to me for a second," The aluminum foil crinkles as the pressure on Kentarou's shoulders increases, "The fire it— it wasn't entirely Lev's fault."

Kentarou is not at all sure what _that's_ supposed to imply. "Are you saying Terushima—"

" _No_ , you dolt." The newly found scowl eclipsing Yahaba's face gives Kentarou more relief then he'll ever admit. "Shiro-san went to see if she could scavenge any of the wolfsbane you hadn't thought to save—"

Well, they had at least tried to hide it.

"—and she said the bad energy surrounding the place was _suffocating_."

"What the fuck does that have to do with Terushima?" Ok, so a bad spirit was haunting their apartment building, and may have added a hand to the fire Lev wasn't supposed to cause. None of that was anything new and nobody has gotten hurt. Why was Yahaba so antsy?

Yahaba clicks his tongue and moves his hands to fist them into the aluminum covering Kentarou's shirt. " _Something_ wanted _someone_ in the building hurt _very_ badly, and until I find out what it was and who it was after, I _don't_ want you out and about, _especially_ alone."

Kentarou unceremoniously removes the hands with a dark scowl to match Yabaha's. "You're not the boss of me."

And then, to absolutely no one's surprise, Yahaba and Kentarou start arguing.

* * *

Strange happenings on the job aren't something Tetsurou is foreign to.

With the wide variety of jobs that fall under his jurisdiction as unofficial assistant librarian, from revamping the library's website to customer service to the occasional book locator, there's a lot of room to wiggle in the weird. Ranging from the trolls and flirts he has to deal with on occasion, the pre-patrons who've never been in a library before, the amount of foreign dignities passing through on an almost daily basis, and his bosses who endeavor to coddle him like a long lost son, Tetsurou has gotten accustomed to what most people would seem unordinary, especially for a Japanese citizen.

Even with all that, however, screaming in the library is new.

Tetsurou volts over his desk at the first shrill cry and charges past the twirling bookcases to the source. Three young girls, probably in high school judging from their matching uniforms, quiver at the foot of one of library's dark wooden tables. Their backpacks are all still placed on the backs of the chairs, probably for whatever reason they were screaming about. Tetsurou does not immediately see what caused all the commotion until one of the girls notices him and points a shaky finger in the general direction of one of the chairs.

"T-there's a snake."

 _A snake?_ Snakes aren't even common in Miyagi. How would a snake even be found slithering around these parts? And how did it even get in the library? Maybe they mistook it for something else? But Tetsurou has no idea what you can incorrectly place as a snake. Maybe they'd just panicked after they saw a worm or something?

"It's under the chair!" another one shrieks, and that puts Tetsurou in his customer service mode.

He gives them a few reassuring words and a "I've dealt with a snake before." Granted, watching a YouTuber hold a snake for the first time under a professional's eye doesn't really count as having dealing with it before, but he doubts it's an actual snake.

Maybe it was a furless cat or something. But he doesn't think those are common either.

He folds at the knee and peeks under the chair.

A crimson snake peers back at him. It sticks its forked tongue out once, tasting the air. Then it lunges.

Tetsurou pulls back abruptly with alarm, startling the three high school girl badly, if the second coming to their shrill screams is anything to go by. There's now a coil around the skin of his forearm, indicating something scarlet and scaly just dove under his sleeve.

So long as it doesn't bite him, Tetsurou can play this off.

He fakes a chuckle, careful not to move his arm with the snake around it. The three girls are all knotty around the eyebrows. "I'm just messing with you. There's nothing there."

"B- _but_! We _saw_ it! We _saw_ a _snake_! Are you sure?"

Tetsurou makes a show of checking again. "Yup. Nothing there."

Two of the girls breathe easier and giggle. The taller of the two, with an appearance like a stereotypical yankee, clamps on the back with the strength of one. It takes him a strenuous effort not to 'oof'. "Don't play us like that, onii-san! You gave us a real fright!"

The third one, the one with the auburn hair, piercings, and model-worthy makeup levels him with a look capable of peeling paint. Tetsurou meets it with a grin.

"You sure did," affirms the model girl. She lets go of whatever challenge left in her eyes and smiles at her friends. "I changed my mind. Let's go get ramen."

That leaves the yankee girl and the third quiet one more shocked than they could have ever been about the snake.

And in tears. Tetsurou can't say he's ever seen somebody happy enough to cry over ramen.

"Well, enjoy your ramen. Please feel free to stop by the library anytime."

He waves them off with a smile. As soon as they're out of sight, he walks, _very_ quickly, back to and around the counter, straight to the hidden door in the back. There's a gold-rimmed wooden plaque bolted to the front with the words **MANAGER** in bolded gold letters. Tetsurou pushes through it without pause.

"Hey, boss," he calls upon entering. He gets a blur of feet propped up on an office desk, phone in hand, and a very goofy sounding... _something_. He blinks once and Tashiro Hidemi sits properly in a chair with steepled fingers hiding half his face.

"Y-yes, Kuroo? Anything I can do for you?"

Tetsurou finds it excruciatingly difficult to hold back a smirk. It does come out in the end, but only after he's raised his arm and carefully dragged down the sleeve to reveal his scaly friend.

"A little help please."

Tashiro's jaw drops and drops and keeps dropping. In literally any other situation, Tetsurou would be rolling on the floor laughing horribly by now. He's about to break and do so, actually, but the snake does something which leaves Tetsurou just as jaw dropped as Tashiro.

It uncoils from his arm and _leaps_.

There's a wide window on the right opened just a crack. It slither furiously from where it had landed on the ground and curls up the wall and outdoors. It's red tail disappears from sight before either man can move.

"What just—Kuroo! Y-your _arm_!"

The arm the snake had been wrapped around had a twirling red bruise-like mark around it. There's something else obscured in the arc around his wrist. Tetsurou lifts his wrist closer to inspect it, but he never gets the chance when Tashiro goes hysterical.

"Oh my god. Did it bite you? Was it poisonous?! D-don't panic, Kuroo!"

"I'm not the one panicking," Tetsurou begins but Tashiro doesn't hear him.

"It's o-ok! It'll be ok! I'll take you to the h-hospital! The doctors will save you! I hope..." Tetsurou tries to explain to his boss that it's probably just a bruise while Tashiro pushes him out the door, but the man seems to have an entirely different agenda.

"My dad will k- _kill_ me if anything happens to you! I'll never be able to find _anyone_ who can do what you do! _Please_ don't die on me, Kuroo!"

"Tashiro-san, really. It's just a bruise—"

"Shush! Don't waste whatever oxygen supplies you have left! My car's right outside!"

And Tetsurou finds himself shipped to a hospital.

* * *

If anybody every asked why Suguru went into nursing, he'd answer something like, " _Oh, you know, helping other people, isn't that what it's all about?_ "

If you ever asked someone who personally knew Suguru even just a little, they'd laughingly inform you that Daishou Suguru is a fucking liar.

And, if you were the 'requires medical attention immediately, very urgent!' person Tashiro-san's son had yelled about on the phone and named Kuroo Tetsurou, you could find out every single detail of the past six years Suguru spent avoiding practically everyone he'd associated with in high school. Except Mika, of course.

Mika was the whole reason he'd done everything in the first place.

"Let me tell ya, your face? Your face when I walked in here? _Priceless_."

"Sure you weren't just looking in a mirror back there?" Suguru bites back. He's already checked all the vitals and applied a cold compress to the bruise around Kuroo's arm. He's clear on all aspects. But he still hasn't left.

"I mean, I always thought you were a scrub. But I never thought I'd actually _see_ you in scrubs—"

"How sweet. We _both_ never wanted to see each other. Isn't that amazing?" He's replaced just about everything. The examining room is almost ready for the next patient. All that's left for him to do is get rid of the old one.

"I'm really glad that these six years have done absolutely nothing to that nasty side of yours—"

Kuroo wants nasty then? Suguru will show him nasty.

"By the way, how's Kozume-kun?" he asks, with a smile like evil dipped in white chocolate. He's just the slightest bit taken aback by how fast that makes Kuroo shut up, but that's about as far as his concern lies.

"Oh? Never found him, eh? Guess he's dead then. My deepest condolences," he says with a small little bow. Man oh man. He hasn't done this in forever. He hasn't poured so much salt in someone's wound since _high school_. Six _years_ ago. Why'd he ever stop? "Must really sting, huh? Your best friend disappears on you without even a _word_. Speaks _wonders_ about your friendship if you ask me."

Suguru has not felt this good in so long. It's amazing. How one accidental afternoon is all it takes to drive his stress away. It's not that he regrets his decisions, no, but he misses the volleyball he used to play in high school. The way he and his team used to play, at least.

"Oh, but you still had hope, didn't you! That he'd show up one day and everything would be back to normal. But no, he never did, did he? Really, you gotta tell me, how does it feel? It's been about six years since he's disappeared, right? Another one and he'll be officially declared dead. Tell me how it feels to never know if someone you cared about so much is alive or dead. Just _imagining_ it is giving me nightmares."

His cheeks _hurt_ from how hard he's grinning. Really, he's shown enough of his nasty side to make up for the last six years. And now he just can't stop.

"Must really _suck_ to be you."

What really would be the double chocolate fudge icing on the cake would be to see Kuroo Tetsurou downtrodden, heartbroken, ruined, or anything to that affect. For him to storm out in a rage or tears or anything that could complete the cycle. Except...

Except Kuroo Tetsurou has a grin to rival his own and give him one hell of run for his money.

"Done?"

"What?"

"You done? Anything else you want to add? Another jab you didn't get in as much as you'd like?"

Suguru frowns. That's it? That's all he was going to say? No quick-witted quip? No backhanded jab of his own? No anger or tears or sadness of anything? _That was it?_

"I'm done."

"Good." Kuroo stands to his full height. The grin has yet to leave his face. Now that Suguru thinks about it, it probably had never left at all this entire time. He trots over and clamps him on the shoulder. Suguru is really starting to get creeped out by this entire situation and he just really wants it to end.

"Can't believe I'm saying this but _man_ have I missed you. This meeting has been really refreshing."

Suguru wants to throw up. He'd shy away from the hand but Kuroo grabs his other shoulder before he can do so. The only thing he can is scrunch up his face in disgust. And horror.

"Really though. I think little Mika-chan would appreciate this side of you too."

Suguru splutters like a kindergartner. "H-how did you—?!"

" _Someone_ wasn't answering any of my messages. I had to make sure you were still alive somehow."

Oh god, Kuroo and Mika had _talked_ about _him_? Kuroo and Mika had _talked_? Kuroo had Mika's contact information? Was this a nightmare Suguru had forgotten to wake up from?

"So anyway, I gotta get going. Got to go tell the boss I'm still alive." He holds up the arm Suguru had examined. "So I just put ice on this whenever?"

"Y-yes."

"Ok, got it, doc." Kuroo finally releases him and Suguru tries not to sigh in relief. "You better start answering my messages. If you don't, I'll give Mika-chan Iwaizumi's number."

That certainly has Suguru swearing buckets. "O-okay, _fine_. I'll stop ignoring them."

"Good." Kuroo starts walking out of the room but halts mid-step. "Oh, one more thing."

He whirls around, pulls back his elbow, and punches Suguru right in the face.

"Don't ever talk bad about Kenma in front of me again, ok?"

There are stars where no stars would be and the pain Suguru holds is throbbing and painful. The curses following are heavy and completely heartfelt.

" _Fuck_ you."

"You too, asshat." Tetsurou's back is to him as the jerk waves. "Don't forget to call!"

* * *

Bokuto is bawling.

It wasn't something Keiji hadn't been expecting. The sheer magnitude of the waterworks startled him at first, but he'd quickly written it off as a Bokuto quirk.

What surprises him though, are all the other tengu in tears.

Predictably if distastefully, the children are latched onto his legs with globs upon globs of tears rolling down their faces. Already Keiji is accumulating a headache from the prospect of trying to detach them. It doesn't stop at them, however.

Akinori and Haruki are failing rather spectacularly at rubbing away their watery eyes while taking jabs at each other.

"T-this isn't how m-men are supposed to say g-goodbye. Stop c-crying, Aki," Haruki stutters, with a weak punch to his friend's arm.

"W-we're not men, idiot. We're t-tengu," Akinori replies with a shaky breathe. Both their wings drop impossibly low. Bokuto somehow manages to move through his blurry vision and loaded legs to throw his arms around both of them.

"Don't be s-stupid! Crying is for e-everyone!"

And the waterworks increase all around.

"You've known each other for a week," Keiji deadpans, which, in Keiji's book, does not make the farewell as much as of a sob fest they're all making it out to be. His statement does absolutely nothing to dissuade the situation, however.

Ikkei clamps him on the back, causing Keiji to stumble. "Don't make yourself out to be such a spoil sport, Keiji!" There's a strange fondness in his clan leader's eyes while he watches the farewell. He throws a wide grin Keiji's way. "It don't matter how short or how long, goodbyes are always a wrench to the heart."

Keiji looks away from the emotions in his clan leader's face. He hadn't meant to remind Ikkei of his son who'd descended the mountain in favor of living in the human world. Maybe there is a wisdom in the old man's words. Hasn't Keiji experienced the same in Eita?

The sob fest tips over.

No, this is not the same thing. This is ridiculous.

"There you are, Kokkuri. Been wondering where you disappeared off to."

Keiji's face immediately sours like he's just swallowed a lemon whole.

"I go by 'Shiro' these days, Ikkei-san. If you could be so kind as to abide by that name, I'd truly appreciate the gesture," she announces, padding towards the two of them with arms hidden in her sleeves. Her eyes travel back to the path she'd just arrived by before she reaches them. "It seems Koutarou's influence has worked. The mountain is much lively with the throng of positive energy."

Ikkei belts a hearty laugh at that. Both he and Shiro eye the tengu boss with surprise. It's a few breathy chuckles later before he elaborates.

"That boy can turn an entire mountain upside down but still can't pull a single laugh out of our Keiji." He chuckles some more. "Magic is truly a trickster."

Keiji does not dignify that with a response. Contrary to all their beliefs, he is not opposed to laughter. He has just never come across something he'd deemed appropriate of a chuckle. Maybe if a mishap where to befall Shiro, he'd find it in himself to laugh.

"A-aghashii!"

Keiji's eyes widen impossibly as Bokuto attempts to remove himself from the pile. He somehow succeeds and wobbly begins to approach Keiji.

Keiji takes a rather huge step back.

"I-I... I'll miss you too! Even i-if... you were r-really mean to me sometimes!"

If Bokuto comes within a ten meter radius of him, if he even thinks about embracing him, Keiji will kill him.

"Touch me and die."

"This was what I w-was talking about!" Bokuto cries, rubbing his arm over his eyes once before peering at Keiji with a red-rimmed gaze. "B-but! I'll still miss you!"

Bokuto takes a running start at him with arms outstretched, eyes blurred with tears, and a cry of "Akaaashiiiii!"

Keiji is just about to fly off into the sky when Shiro trips him.

His wings spread out and flap reflexively to balance him, and that's all the time Bokuto requires to tackle him.

Except Bokuto _himself_ trips and falls into Shiro.

Keiji had caught a glimpse for her face right before she'd been bulldozed. He'd never seen her eyes get big like they had at the moment Bokuto had crashed into her. She's now on the floor with Bokuto's arms around her waist crying at her lap. He wails an, "Akaashi!" that sounds more like "Aghashee!" as Shiro stares at him humorless and says something like, "He's standing next to you, Koutarou. Over there. You have the wrong person, Koutarou."

Keiji places a hand on his mouth as his shoulders starts to shake. Her face. He can't get her face out his head right before Bokuto. Calm, dignified, holier than thou, daughter of Kokkuri Shiro, with a face not unlike a fish.

It was _comical_.

The snorts begin to escape his hands. Shiro stops trying to reprimand Bokuto and stares at him, aghast.

It reminds him of the face she'd just made and that's when he breaks.

His piggish chortles escape his nose more and more until he's outright laughing. It's a laugh like a broken record, all snorts and pig noises and not at all Keiji. His body practically convulses while he tries to hold it in, but he's failing rather spectacularly.

Just about everyone stops and stares at him, including Bokuto with his red-rimmed eyes and blinking and shocker surprise, and all it does is further remind Keiji of Shiro's face.

Ikkei begins to chuckle himself.

"Well, I'll be."

The tears which had been shared between everyone in the district are neutralized by Keiji's laugh, replaced by a guffaw just about everyone shares. Even Shiro and Ikkei join in on the new laugh fest, and it's generally a better development than the previous sob one.

Keiji thinks that maybe he was a little 'mean' as Bokuto had put it. Bokuto had destroyed many things with his sudden appearance, but it wasn't as bad as Keiji had made it out it be.

Maybe he was just a human, but Keiji guesses he had his human highlight reels at times.

* * *

Yui had not been prepared for Iwaizumi Hajime.

She'd obviously ignored Futakuchi's obscure warning not to get involved in favor of making sure Kuroo was alright. He was really sweet and kind and cute, and Chi needed someone like him around, romantically involved or not. Neither of them really needed to know she'd been at the shrine until after her visit, and then she'd be a happy camper through any repercussions.

She finds her way to the shrine after many magical miscoordinations(she shouldn't haven't trusted any of the underworld items Kamasaki sold). She's barely a foot in the shrine when a gigantic white fox daemon bulldozes into her.

"Hahaha! It's good to see you too, Yin!" Yui caresses the fox's head in her palm and nuzzles her forehead. "Who's a good girl!"

After she properly imparts the fox with a proper pet down, ear scratching session, and very incriminatingly embarrassing altercations to 'who's a good girl? you are!', Yui trots further into down the hall into the shrine, rounding a corner while calling out to land god.

"Kuroo-kun! I dropped by for a visit! Are you— _Eeep_!"

A shorter, musclier, more angry looking Kuroo Tetsurou missing the rooster hair stands arms crossed at the bend in the wall. His sudden appearance had caused Yui to jump a foot in the air, and for her heart to take to a deafening kind of palpitations.

She'd also instinctively tried to punch the Not Kuroo guy in face. However, Not Kuroo had swiftly raised an arm and her fist had collided into his palm.

She's never met anyone who could take one of her punches.

"Are you one of Shiro's friends?"

Yui swings out her leg to kick him. He stops it with a swift hand to her knee. "Oi—"

He also manages to duck under her other leg when she jumps and twirls through the air. He somehow continues to dodge and parry the barrage of attacks that follow and Yui is just left stupefied.

"Hey—Would you—Could you stop—with all the— _stop_." He catches her wrists and Yui completely halts. Now that she's getting a closer look at his face... she realizes she's never met this _handsome_ who could take her attacks.

Her face instantly heats up like the bottom of a hot pan and before she can think on it any further, she pulls back her head and whacks it into Not Kuroo's face.

" _Ow_ —what the fuck is wrong with you?!" he yells, clutching his throbbing nose in one hand.

Good, she can still beat him.

She then realizes she'd partially beaten up someone who was probably friends with both Chi and Kuroo.

"Oh, I—! _I'm so sorry_!" She flails around with her hands, looking back and forth for something that could help assuage the situation. "Chi will have some healing salve! I'll be right back!"

Yui rushes to the kitchen, pretending very hard she isn't running away from the situation.

After rummaging through the cupboards and acquiring a jar of healing salve and some paper towels, she rushes back to the hallway.

Not Kuroo winces as he pokes at his red nose. He notices her coming with healing supplies and immediately takes gigantic steps back.

"No. No magic stuff."

Yui droops, her hands with the healing supplies go limb at her sides. She resists the urge to try her puppy eyes on him.

Not Kuroo gingerly pats his nose once more before sighing.

"Listen, I don't know you are, and I don't understand why you just fucking attacked me or why you're acting like it didn't happen, but Shiro isn't here, so could you please just leave."

"I was just—" What is she supposed to say? 'Oh, I haven't met someone who could take my punches since Aone and you're really cute to boot so could I have your number?' Yeah that would go over spectacularly. "I t-thought you were a malicious youkai. Or a thief. A thieving malicious youkai? I'm _really_ sorry."

Half the truth. He'd sort of stolen a piece of her heart with the smolder.

Not Kuroo pinches the bridge of his nose and puffs out another sigh.

"Shiro isn't here."

"Oh! That's ok! I'm not here to see her today."

Proceeding awkward silence is _awkward_.

Yui rubs her arm with a nervous laugh and tries not to implode. This is ridiculous. She's probably been alive long enough for Not Kuroo to have lived three lifetimes. Sure she hasn't dealt with humans much the past few decades sans Kenma, but the shouldn't mean she immediately loses motor and social functions as soon as one appears. Even if he is handsome.

"S-so," she tugs a strand of hair behind her ear with absolutely no idea what's she's going to say. The only example she can think of at the moment to copy is Futakuchi and everyone knows where that got him. "Do you— _come here often_ —"

"Hey, Iwaizumi. I'm back early— "

With possibly either the best or worse timing in the world, the real Kuroo Tetsurou and his infamous rooster hair appear in the doorway. Yui perks up immediately.

"Kuroo-kun!"

"Michimiya?" Kuroo's eyes flick between them with a glint in his eyes and a tug to his mouth. "Something here I shouldn't know about?"

"Why are you back." 'Iwaizumi' inquires in a grumbled deadpan. Something else has distracted Yui though. There's another scent mixed with Kuroo's godly one. A disturbance in his aura somewhere at his wrist.

"Oh, Tashiro-san was just being a worrywart because— _ow_." Yui snatches his wrist with weird magic and scans it. Symbols glow faintly in the red strip like bruise traveling around his arm.

"Kuroo-kun, where did you get this?" The three glowing circles with a line slashed through them is not something he had last time nor could have acquired since the last time she'd seen him. Unless of course, he was actually seeing someone.

"Uh, there was this snake—"

"A _snake_?" Iwaizumi asks incredulously.

Kuroo rolls his eyes. "Yes, a snake. It was in the library and it kind of got attached to my hand for a minute—"

"What."

The ding of a doorbell rings out and all three of them jump. None of them say anything until it rings out again a second time.

It's Iwaizumi who asks in complete confusion, "We have a doorbell?"

"Go inside," Yui answers, yanking Kuroo's wrist and pushing him further into the shrine. "Go! In! Now!" Her hair whips as she peers Iwaizumi's way. "You too! Everyone inside!"

The bell continues to cause a cacophonous racket as Yui pushes the two men inside despite their many, many questions.

"Michimiya—what is that?" Kuroo questions as she shoves him into the kitchen. She tugs in a very annoyed Iwaizumi.

"Tell me what magical bullshit is going on or I'm going out there to see for myself," Iwaizumi tries, sounding very, very tired.

The doorbell continues to ring out like an annoying school fire alarm and Yui quickly straightens out the very confused men's clothes.

"Ok. You both look smart enough."

"Michimiya—"

"It's your fiancée."

"My _what_?" At the same time Iwaiuzmi goes "His _what_?"

Yui runs her fingers through her hair and throws them both a cheeky grin. "Exactly. Let's hope we can run them off."

* * *

Koutarou is sad.

His sniffles have died down as Shiro leads him through the trees down the expanse of the mountains. His feet crunch against the fallen leaves and twigs and he's almost slipped a few times if it weren't for the hand Shiro's clasped around his.

"It will be alright, Koutarou," she tries again, her silver hair the only thing he can see in his blurry vision, her hand tight in his. "Keiji gave you a number you may call in the end, didn't he? You may come up here whenever your heart desires."

"It's not the same," he whines. Yes, Koutarou has only known of magic and mountains and tengu for less than a week's time, but the time he's spent with them and memories he's made where fun and warm and memorable enough for him to remember for the next life time. Yes, Akaashi said he could come back anytime he wanted in the end, but he'd been living with them for a week, and he'd begun to feel a bond and connection with all of them. He's really going to miss Haruki, Daidamaru, Botanmaru, Yuu, Aki, Akaashi…

"I'm just— _really_ —gonna miss them!" he wails for the nth time, the globs of tears trailing lines down his cheeks. _This sucks a lot_ , he thinks.

"Yes, Koutarou, you will." Shiro agrees, and the fingers she had around his hand tighten. Koutarou scans the back of her head again in confusion. She looks back at him suddenly, and he sees something that reminds Koutarou of Kuroo in her eyes. "Being able to see them again however, dear Koutarou, is a virtue some do not have, is it not?"

And Koutarou now feels doubly sad because now he's made _her_ sad. "I'm sorry, Shiro-chan."

"Your sadness is nothing for you to apologize for, Koutarou," she insists, and continues weaving between the large pines of the forest.

A thought that distracts Koutarou from his sadder one appears, and slowly, a gear begins to shift in his mind.

He doesn't know a lot of girls named Shiro, none in fact. The only girl he'd ever heard of whose name was Shiro was from—

He squawks in realization at the same time Shiro shoves his back into a tree, her hand on his mouth.

"Hush, Koutarou." Her eyes scan the surrounding area as Koutarou struggles very hard not to gasp the epiphany he'd just came across. The leaves of the trees wrestle with a wind. It smells like the rain that had assaulted the mountain the last week Koutarou had resided with tengu, but there's also something else mixed in with it that has Koutarou crumpling his nose. It's foul, and kind of reeks of old garbage smell or rotten food, and also something like… smoke?

"Something is amiss." Shiro removes her hand and looks around more frantically, her body turning and covering Koutarou's.

He's starting to get a little scared. "Shiro-chan? What's that smell—"

A broken, horrible laugh like dying animals filters between the trees. Koutarou suddenly doesn't feel that weird to be behind Shiro. His body twitches uncontrollably and he suddenly really wants to hold Shiro's hand again.

The broken voice that howls throughout the forest is worse than the laugh. The rotten smoky smell intensifies. Black fog rolls from seemingly nowhere in between the trees and towards them. Koutarou unashamedly leans onto Shiro's back.

"W-what's that?"

Shiro doesn't answer him in favor of pulling out a white paper from the sleeve of her yukata and slapping it right onto his forehead without turning his way. Suddenly, there's a bubble of bluish light surrounding them. Koutarou stares in awe at the no doubt magic barrier encasing them. The black smoke reaches the outside of the barrier and curls up and away from it. That makes Koutarou feel a lot better.

"… _. Daughter….of…. Kokkuri…."_ The jarring words in horrible broken Japanese pierce Koutarou's ears like the feedback of a microphone and Koutarou practically whimpers as he covers his ears. He can't see Shiro's expression as she stands in front of him, but he thinks she winces as well.

" _A…. interesting… opponent…. how… long… will …. you … stand… in…my...way?"_

The smell, which had previously been blocked off by the magic barrier, strengthens tenfold. Koutarou throws a hand over his mouth and nose to prevent it from assaulting his nostrils but the hand does little in doing so. The smoke surrounds the entirety of the barrier and soon Koutarou is unable to see the greens, yellows, browns of the forest anymore. His heart pounds a mile a minute, and he has to let go of his nose to cover his ears in a weak attempt to block out the ear-scrapping sounds. Something wet and sticky splatters against his palms as he weakly groans.

" _You… may…last… but…what…of…the…boy…?"_

Shiro whips around, her hair hitting his face before her crimson eyes meet his. Barely opened silver, he glimpses something change in her expression before she turns fully to him.

"Koutarou," she grasps his shoulders and smiles at him. Her hair grows in two triangles on top of her head. He barely places the protrusions as animal ears before he's forced to shut his eyes from the pain in his ears. He manages to squint one eye open and notices a reassuring smile on her lips as the white fox ears perk up.

"It will be alright, Koutarou. I will not let a single hair on your head be harmed," she announces. And then she kisses him.

Koutarou's mind goes something like ' _oh my god, Shiro-chan just kissed me, Kuroo is going to kill me!_ ' before Shiro leaps out of the magic barrier. It immediately closes up again before any of the black fog can roll in, and then Koutarou is left alone in the darkness.

It only lasts for a moment.

A branch or a root or some part of a tree wraps around the magic bubble he's in and heaves it (the bubble and him) off the ground and into the trees. The bubbles pops just as Koutarou lands on one of the high tree branches which Shiro, who is now not only sprouting ears but a bushy white tail too, stands on. Her tail is poised and her arm is outstretched, her fingers frozen in a gesture like she's grabbed the air. There's a mad grin in her face. It's animal-like in nature, and suddenly, Koutarou isn't sure if he should be scared of the monstrous black fog or of the fox girl.

Her hands squeezes and Koutarou throws his arms around a tree to steady himself as the ground shakes.

Leaves and twigs fall from the trees as the earth the black smoke has curled around splits in two. The fog falls ever so slowly seeps in, and, little by little, Koutarou feels like he can breathe easier. His ears pop and stop hurting, and when the last of the screaming fog falls into the abyss, they stop hurting completely.

There's a laughing rasp like, " _Until… next… we…. meet…_ " before the earth swallows up all the smoke and joins sides again like the entire situation never happened.

He starts cheering just as a human-shaped blur swoops down from the sky and snatches Shiro from the branch like some rip-off Tarzan.

"Shiro-chan!"

There's a floating carriage in the sky.

Koutarou barely calls her name before he's swept up as well.

He hardly feels his vertigo tilt and the amazingness of swinging through the air before his feet touch something flat and solid again. Shiro is holding the ear of a guy with a mean crew cut. The man who'd been his own personal Tarzan steadies Koutarou before stepping away from him. He owns a resting bitch face that could give Mattsun a run for his money.

" _There_. We got him. Happy?" declares the crew cut. Shiro levels him with a scalding look before releasing his ear.

Crew Cut rubs at his pierced now red ear. "I swear, nobody appreciates what I do around here."

It's about now that Koutarou realizes that he's in a freaking flying carriage fifty feet of the ground.

"Oh my god! This is so freaking awesome! I don't know what that creepy black smoke thing was but this!" He gestures to the wooden floorboards of the carriage. "And this!" He points to the curved red of the roof. "And this!" He motions wildly to the open back of the carriage. "Is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my whole life!"

His eyes sparkle as he rounds on a very startled Crew Cut. "Where can I get one?"

"Koutarou, you're bleeding." Shiro steps towards him and he involuntarily flinches. She had been very scary looking when whatever had happened down there... had happened. Koutarou doesn't want to be scared of Shiro, especially of she's _Shiro_ Shiro, but he can't stop himself from feeling that way.

Shiro hesitates momentarily, but gets over it and places two hands over his ears. It's all soft and warm and mushy for a minute before it's gone and she removes her hands. A small soft smile tugs at her lips, like the one he'd placed as a blubbery Kuroo expression. It transforms into a glare as she turns Crew Cut's way.

"Is there a plausible reason as to why you've disgraced us with your presence, Yuuji?"

'Yuuji' grins despite the accusation. "I'm gracing you with my _awesomeness_ , Shiro-chan. Not many people get to enjoy my company." He winks at her, and Koutarou suddenly has the urge to pull her behind him and protect her even when the expression of utter disgust on her face is doing quite a fine job of that. "Especially so intimately."

Shiro reaches out her arm, as if to grab Yuuji's ear again. Yuuji swiftly covers it with both hands and takes a step back. "Ok ok _fine_! It was a quest commission!"

Shiro's eyebrows reside into her hairline. Koutarou turns confusedly to Mattsun 2.0. "What's a quest? Is it—oh my god," Koutarou gasps, excitement overriding his confusion, "a _quest_ quest?"

Mattsun 2.0 stares at him for a minute. Pounding a lazy finger in Koutarou's direction, he asks, "Who's this?"

"A concern which is certainly not yours," Shiro seethes, with a dark scowl eclipsing her face. She pulls out a white paper again from her sleeve, accompanied by a black marker she uses to scribble furiously on before capping it back into place. She them crumples up the paper and throws it out the back of the carriage with a satisfied " _hmph_."

"Shiro-chan! You can't litter just because you're mad!" Koutarou exclaims, leaning out the back on his hands and knees. Something like a hand grabs the back of his shirt and places him back into safer parts of the carriage. Koutarou glimpses something that is definitely not a hand whip back and behind Mattsun 2.0.

Something like a tail.

"Do not fret, Koutarou. I have done no such act."

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around how _that_ ," Mattsun 2.0's tail points to Shiro and then the backside of the carriage, where the trajectory of the crumpled paper Shiro threw out would be, "even became an item."

"It was love at first sight, Kurokawa!"

"If this conversation continues, I'm throwing someone out of the back of the carriage," Shiro interrupts with a close-eyed smile. She turns to Yuuji again, her hands resting in the sleeves of her yukata. "Now, Yuuji dear, enlighten me with the details of your... commission."

"Just one! Making sure Kokkuri Chishiro-chan is a-ok." Yuuji even throws in an ok sign and a wink.

Shiro touches her forehead with a hand and resigned sigh. "That doesn't entail returning me to my abode, does it?"

"Nope! Unless you want to become _my_ familiar, in which case I'd be _more_ than happy to take you back—"

"I would rather elope on a romantic tryst with Hiroki than so much as entertain the thought of being your familiar. Let alone subject myself to that disastrous tongue molesting you call kissing."

Kurokawa Hiroki smirks just the tiniest bit. "I'd be offended but it's all true. Especially the second part."

Koutarou isn't sure what Shiro just said, but he's not going to let anyone steal Kuroo's girl.

"Nobody is kissing Shiro-chan!" he announces, pulling a baffled Shiro behind him. He sends her a thumbs and a grin over his shoulder. He's got the situation completely contained.

"Well," Yuuji shrugs. The grin he has plastered on his face hadn't so much as dropped a notch with what Koutarou assumed was a sick burn on Shiro's part. "Either I drop the both of you off the back, or I get something out of this."

"I'll kiss you!"

Yuuji blinks owlishly. There's a chuckle behind him that further motivates Koutarou with his cause.

"How noble of you, Koutarou. You'd subject yourself to such horrors for me?"

"Of course!" He'd do anything for Kuroo to stay happy.

"That's not—" Yuuji tries to say. "That's not the point—"

With the Must Preserve Kuroo's Happiness mode taking complete control over Koutarou's mindset, he steps forward, dips down Yuuji, and smooches him right on the mouth.

* * *

"We received a complaint you were selling damaged goods," drawls the inugami with the longest suffering sigh Kenji has ever heard in his life. He almost feels sorry for the police officer. Almost. " _Again_."

"No idea what you're talking about, Kunumi," states Kamasaki. If _Kenji_ is impressed with the poise and collected calm Kamasaki can attribute when his business in danger, then Kunumi is really biting off more than he can chew trying to police him. Granted, the inugami must want to be anywhere but here in the first place.

Kunumi gives him a I Know You're Bullshitting And You Know That I Know And We're Both Going To Pretend That We Don't Aren't We look.

"Besides, Shiro's the one who made the complaint," Kamasaki states. None of them question how he'd come across this knowledge. "Aren't you gonna tell her off for not showing her ears and tail in the market?"

Kunumi makes a face like he's swallowed three lemons. Kenji snickers.

"Flaunting power isn't something Saeko-san is particularly against," Kunumi tries. Kamasaki returns the look Kunumi had just given him with an extra Oh So Now You're Bullshitting Even Harder spice to it. Kunumi's black ears flop in irritation.

"Just don't do it again."

"Can't really do something again when I never did it the first place, can I now?"

Kenji is on his second bout of snickers when something hits him in the back of the head rather hard. He yelps as he falls off the stall onto the dirt ground.

Kamasaki bursts out laughing. Kunumi smirks.

"Shut up," Kenji grumbles, as he gets to his knees. There's a talisman floating lazily in the air that drifts into his hands as soon as he is fully up. Reading it causes him to adopt Kunumi's I Just Swallowed Three Lemons look.

"That from Shiro?" Kamasaki asks with a smug grin. Again, nobody questions this because it's quite obvious. Nobody can really send him into a bitter mode faster than one Kokkuro Chishiro these days.

The last line gives him pause. It had all been riddled with insults up until the last part. She'd called him—" _an insufferable fool_." And then prattled on about— " _I cannot fathom what you were stupidity possessed you when you assumed I required help from the Sainetto Society and Yuuji of all people, but I am perfectly capable of dealing with a god on my own. Do not interfere again._ "

He hadn't known Shiro knew about the god. How much… how much did Shiro know?

His vision blurs for the second time this week.

Blood. Lots and lots of blood.

A woman once white now painted red.

Angry. Very Angry.

"Futakuchi? You ok over there?"

Kenji shakes his head once and the vision disappears. No, she doesn't know, she doesn't know anything. So this might be worse than he'd assumed. Might turn out to be much, much worse than he'd given her credit for.

He doesn't want to prove them right.

"Hey, Kunumi," he begins, gears shifting in his mind. Inugami could send messages through canines. Surely sending a message to a fox wouldn't be that far from his jurisdiction?

"Think you can give a fox a message for me?" He then grins. "I'll make sure Kamasaki-san here doesn't break anymore laws.

"Again, can't break more when I haven't broken anything in the first place," Kamasaki reiterates, with a twitch in his brow and a confused glare in his gaze.

Kunumi peers at him, his dropped black ears twitching.

"Deal."

* * *

What's worse than Kuroo getting accidentally engaged to a youkai is that the youkai is exactly his type.

They slide open the front door of the shrine, nerves jumbled, Yin growling and at the ready. There's a man with a head of red hair with a game strong enough to battle Kuroo's. In his arms are a stack of manga, a box of chocolate, flowers, and a mewling fluffy black kitten with one white paw. He both looks like he wants to cry and skin them alive at the same time. The first words out of his mouth are—"I'm _really_ sorry about the accidental engagement thing. Please don't let your bara husband beat me up."

Kuroo cracks up into horrible hyena laughter. Michimiya has a baffled look on her face. Hajime facepalms.

They're now sitting in the living room while the youkai who'd introduced himself as Tendou Satori shoves all his early 'wedding gifts' into Kuroo's arms.

"I thought you might be an asshole. So I got you these in an attempt to bribe you out of the engagement."

Kuroo catches the kitten before in crawls out and falls. The rest of the stuff barely manages to stay in his arms.

"Ok, breaking engagements aside—you got me a _cat_ as a wedding gift?"

"Humans like cute things!"

"I don't even like cats!"

Tendou gasps and grabs the kitten from Kuroo, covering both of the fluff ball's ears. "You'll hurt her feelings!"

"I'm not keeping her."

"You have to! Eita-kun will kill me if I bring a pet to work!"

"And you're inability to get proper wedding gifts is my problem because..?"

Tendou shoves the kitten onto Kuroo's head. It happily meows and nestles into the gravity defying locks. "You're problem, my almost husband!"

"I would never marry someone who thinks _Vampire Knight_ is a proper gift manga."

Tendou gasps exactly like Oikawa had when Hajime had insulted him. " _You read manga?_ "

And then they both spend an entire hour debating best shoujo manga ever. Hajime has to leave the room when they start arguing about best girl. ("Tohru-chan is the best! You just can't beat her pure need to help others!" "That's where your wrong, Kurokuro! Yuki-chan is flawed and therefore more realistic and relatable! Girls like Tohru-chan don't exist!" "Say that again to my face, you mountain chicken!")

Michimiya sits all smiley at the kitchen table with the kitten Tendou had brought it. She'd poured in some water in a small bowl and was watching it as its tiny pink tongue darted in and out to lap up the liquid.

What he doesn't understand at all is why Yin is whimpering in the corner with her big soulful eyes like she's _afraid_ of the kitten or something.

Hajime sighs. He studies the smile on Michimiya's face and the kitten who's just finished the bowl and is now trying to walk off the table. Michimiya lowers her to the ground. The kitten tries to walk towards Yin. The gigantic fox, who has tripped both Hajime and Kuroo on numerous occasions, makes a beeline for the exit and escapes the room. Hajime grabs the kitten by the scruff before it can amble after the terrified fox. He meet's Michimiya's eyes.

"You can keep—"

"Nope. She's yours."

Hajime sighs even louder, ruffling the hand that isn't holding the kitten roughly through his hair. Not only does he have to deal with Kuroo, Oikawa, Shiro, and Yin, but now he has to raise a kitten too.

Did Michimiya not want it because they'd gotten off at the wrong foot? But she had been the one who thrown the first punch. And she sort of practically beat him up to boot.

Hajime holds up the kitten to his face. It mewls at him, placing its only white paw on his cheek.

He's on Kuroo with the dog person front, but it was sort of cute.

Something like a held back squeal erupts from somewhere close to Michimiya. His eyes dart to her. Her face is all red but she doesn't say anything even when he lifts an eyebrow.

"Is something wrong—"

Yin bounds in and practically bulldozes into Hajime.

The kitten soars out of his hand. Michimiya dives for it and manages to catch it. Yin clampers off Hajime and runs for the living room. After Hajime makes sure both Michimiya and the kitten are alright, he quickly shuffles after the fox. However, he swiftly moves out of the way as Yin bounds back in, dragging a confused Kuroo by the sleeve.

"What's going on?" Kuroo asks, and no one has an answer for him.

Yin drops his sleeve as soon as he's completely in the kitchen. She opens one of the lower cupboards with her muzzle and pulls out a talisman and a marker, dropping them at Kuroo's feet with an even sadder whimper.

"I think your fox is trying to tell you something!" comments Tendou, as he too arrives in the kitchen. Yin turns her big soulful shimmering eyes on the redhead. Tendou yips and places a hand over his heart. "Don't look at me like that! You're making me feel bad for not knowing how to speak fox!"

Yin turns to Hajime.

Hajime is completely stooped. He doesn't see Yin get like this often. He's only seen her get like this when Oikawa is down. But he'd just gotten a picture text from Oikawa that definitely ruled against that. That reminds him, however, that she only gets like this when someone is down or about to become sad.

"Did something happen with Shiro?" he asks, and the fox whimpers louder.

That immediately gets Kuroo and Michimiya's attention.

"What? What happened to Shiro?" Kuroo asks frantically, looking between the fox and Hajime.

"Nothing. Not yet. At least… _Gah_ , I don't know." Hajime looks to the fox again. She has a talisman and a marker in her mouth for a reason. Kuroo can do something with that right?

He takes the items and shoves them at Kuroo. "You. She wants you to do something."

The fox affirms them when she pads closer and nips Kuroo's hand.

"Ok, ok." Kuroo carries the items over to the table and drops them there. Hajime then realizes that telling Kuroo someone he liked was or might be in danger was not a good decision at all. He can practically see the anxiety taking ahold of his friend. He can see the chains Kuroo uses to describe the pain he feels when he's distressed tighten.

Hajime needs to do something.

"Kuroo."

His friend doesn't even look in his direction.

" _Kuroo_." Hajime grabs his shoulders and forces him to look him in the eye. Kuroo's eyes are wild with too many emotions and not all of them have to do with Shiro. He keeps looking away from Hajime and to the marker in his hand and the crumpled talisman thrown on the table.

Hajime should have dealt with this without involving Kuroo.

"Listen to me. _Look_ at me." Hajime places a hand at Kuroo's neck just under his cheek. "Shiro's alright. She's not in danger."

"But you said—"

"I said something might have happened to her." He looks back at Yin once and notices Michimiya's staring at him. He fixes gazes with Kuroo again. "Yin only gets like this when someone needs comfort. That's it. Something probably happened that made Shiro distressed and since Yin can't do anything herself, she gave you the magic paper I'm sure can reach Shiro."

He shares a glance with Michimiya and she nods at him. Thank everything that Hajime is right about that.

"You just need to—" he struggles for the right word, "—say something nice to her. Something… comforting. Say—" Hajime tries to think of something that would work. Something the he'll— _they'll_ all have to trust to work with Shiro. He doesn't know her enough for this dammit. He barely knows her. All he truly knows for a fact is that Kozume Kenma was a family to her and she's spent the past six years, sixteen weeks, and four days searching for him without a moment to spare.

And then it hits him.

He tells Kuroo, who immediately tries to stammer a blush on his cheeks. "I can't say that!"

"If you want to help Shiro, it's your best bet," Hajime states.

Kuroo groans and moans and complains on how Hajime is actually more of a romantic then he makes himself out to be as he begrudgingly writes out the suggestion. They turn to Michimiya on instructions for how the hell they're going to let the piece of paper reach Shiro.

"Hold it out and will it to reach her," she says, with the softest of sad smiles gracing her features. Hajime doesn't like it in the least.

Kuroo holds the paper between two fingers like some an anime character about to release an evil spirit. He whispers something nobody catches, and the paper jumps out of his hands, swishes in a wide berth, and then darts out the door.

A knot Hajime wasn't aware of in his throat grows softer. It seems a bit childish for him to be so relaxed when they're not sure if that will even work, but he can't help but believe it will.

He also can't wait for the idiot to come back so he can bash her over the head for making Kuroo worry like that.

"Anybody see where Tendou went?"

Hajime looks around and finds no trace of the redhead. Michimiya shrugs as says, "He probably had something to do and left."

Hajime never trusts these magic people who just up and in leave without a word, but he really doesn't care much for Tendou Satori.

* * *

"So, Yuuji, is there something you would like to admit to us? I'm dying to know what made you change your mind about taking me home."

After Bokuto Koutarou had made out with Terushima for a solid minute, he'd released him. Terushima stumbled a bit, something dazed in his expression. He'd very quietly proclaimed that he'd changed his mind about not taking Shiro back to the shrine and Bokuto Koutarou had cheered. They'd dropped him off somewhere in Tokyo. He'd gotten all teary-eyed and tried to hold back the waterworks while he patted Shiro's shoulders repeatedly. Then he'd pulled her in an embrace and latched himself onto her. They'd taken forever to remove him and had to practically drop him out of the back once they were at ground level so he wouldn't try to hug anyone else.

They were now sailing through and over the youkai realm. They'd just about reached the market distract. Shiro had yet to let go of how quiet Terushima had went after The Smooch.

"Shut up," he mumbles and Shiro just grins at him. Hiroki isn't sure he's ever seen Terushima tell a girl to keep quiet before in his life. And he's known the guy a few decades. "That guy… Boruto? Whatever his name was, he was just… a _really_ good kisser, ok?"

"Oh, of course he was, Yuuji," Shiro says and Terushima makes the stupid mistake of looking up at her. The grin on her face is as fox-like as she is. "Someone with such a horrible talent for such a thing must think anybody is good."

"That ain't true. It doesn't matter what you think of my superb kissing skills," he says, and then he turns his face into his hand as he mumbles, "I've kissed a lot of girls. I can tell when someone's a good kisser."

"Only women?"

There's honest to goodness pink in Terushima's cheeks.

"Shut up."

Shiro laughs at him.

Hiroki crosses his arms and eyes Terushima. He's honestly never seen the guy like this. Subdued and starry-eyed and speechless. It's starting to creep him out.

Shiro stands from where she's been seated and studies the outside view of the back of the carriage. They're in guild territory. Massive Edo Japanese buildings upon massive Edo Japanese buildings clatter all around. They're almost above the The Sainetto Society's guild in fact. The carriage just now casts a shadow on the stone swans perched at the tips of the roof where it curves upwards towards the sky.

Then the carriage dips and begins to plummet.

Terushima and Hiroki are thrown out of their seats. The wind howls as the carriage drives towards the earth. The wood of the carriage groans and creaks and practically screams. Some of the wooden planks have curled up and towards Shiro, whose grip on the back of the carriage has splintered the wood.

"It's gone," she whispers. And that's when Hiroki realizes that the carriage's descent is from the fox girl's magic. "It's gone. It's gone. It was there… and now it's gone."

Hiroki has to grab the edge of one of the broken floorboards so he doesn't fly out the back of the carriage. His tail wraps around Terushima so he doesn't suddenly find himself in the open air.

"What is it? What happened?" he yells.

"I don't know!" Terushima replies unhelpfully.

The mantra of 'it's gone' continues in a horrifying chant. The spike in killing intent that ripples through the air is what sends goosebumps up Hiroki's spine and makes the hair on the back of his neck stand.

They would be better off jumping out the back than staying in the carriage with the crazy lady with the killing intent.

"Shouyou… I should have never let Shouyou… I should have gone… I should have … I should have…"

A blur of white ripples in quickly and smacks Shiro in the face. She slowly removes the paper and gives a quick glance to the object that dare disrupt her while she was about to go trigger happy.

It's a long moment of utter chaotic silence.

Then the carriage slowly shifts back to normal. The wood rearranges itself into its original place and the carriage ascends to reach its previous height before slowly moving forward again.

Hiroki stands up from where he'd been crouched in the corner. He keeps Terushima behind him, unwilling to even entertain the thought that everything had just gone back to normal as simple as that.

Ever so slowly, Shiro eases down into the seat behind her. The paper or, now that Hiroki is examining it more closely, the _talisman_ is stretched taut between her fingers.

"Take me home," she begs weakly, with something Hiroki doesn't want to believe is defeat in her voice. Timid Terushima he could stomach, but defeated Shiro? Never in a million years. "Please." He can't even see her eyes from here and he's not sure if he wants to if it will prove that this all really just happened.

"Please just take me home."

* * *

Eita pins another quest submission to the board in the main hall. He adjusts the paper so it's level with the all the other ones before nodding to himself.

His hands are empty of further submissions to stick up. He's also already checked their wards. They're all working just fine. He doesn't have much else to do.

He spares a glance over his shoulder to the tengu hidden beneath a blanket cocoon in the corner. His heart clenches.

"Shouyou." he racks his brain for anything to say. Shouyou lifts his head slightly. Only his eyes and a tuft of orange hair are visible, the rest of the boy is lost in the blanket Eita had wrapped him in an attempt to just do anything to comfort the boy. It hadn't done much at all besides make him look even more like a drenched kitten. Eita's heart cannot stand drenched kittens.

Eita perks up as a thought crosses his mind. "Have you eaten anything?"

Shouyou gives a weak shake of his head. Eita immediately strides over towards the kitchens.

"I'll go get you something." Eita pauses before he leaves the room. He shouldn't leave Shouyou alone. It was partially his fault Shouyou even had to find out like this. They should have known Satori couldn't keep his mouth shut for long. It was a miracle he even lasted this much. Still, it's not like he can do anything about it now when he'd let the bakeneko out of the bag like that.

_Stupid overgrown lizard._

And, because speak of the devil and he shall appear, a gigantic crimson boa constructor slips into the room at lightning speed. It zigzags every which way until it reaches him. It slithers up and around him before he can even let out a strangled comment. He's completely constructed, one of his wings stuck to his back in an awkward angle, when the snake's head appears in his vision. It's tongue sticks out and pokes his nose.

"Eita-kun, why the face?" Comes Tendou Satori's voice. Eita would slap him if he had control of his hands, or if he could breathe.

"Get off me."

Satori constricts around him tighter. He wraps around him one more time, so his angular head is next to Eita's instead of in front of him. He seems to spot Shouyou's cocoon corner.

"Woah! What's up with Chibiko?"

With the wing not stuck to his back, he smacks Satori upside the head.

The snake unwraps himself and slithers around Eita's arm, shrinking down to the size of a garden snakes and wrapping snugly around Eita's forearm.

"Ow! Why are you so pisssssy today?"

Eita gives him a look. The snake doesn't even have it in him to try to look sheepish. Or he just can't because of the, you know, snake form. But Eita doubts it's the second one.

"I thought I threw you into the human world," Eita says, "Why are you back?"

"I can't go to the human world and leave you behind by yourssself, Eita-kun!" answers the snake. "Besides, who elssse would plan my wedding?"

Eita frowns. "Wedding—?"

The spike in murderous energy is instantaneous.

Eita doesn't even bother to look around. There's no one around but the three of them and that's his priority. He soars towards Shouyou, who hasn't seemed to notice the foul miasma suddenly enveloping the building, and wraps his wings around him.

"Eita-nii…?"

Eita's gaze swivels right and left. He can't see anyone nor does he feel any hidden presences. Satori hasn't said anything either, so Eita can either assume the threat isn't in the building or it's hiding very well. Although, now that he's thinking about it, his sudden appearance was a little too convenient.

The miasma disappears as soon as it had appeared.

He doesn't risk moving, even when Shouyou starts squirming. It's only when Satori's forked tongue tastes the air for the third time, and he gives the all clear with his slithery voice does Eita budge the slightest.

"What was that..?" is the weak question Shouyou asks. Before Eita answers him, he lifts his hand, where Satori is wrapped around his fingers in an even smaller snake, and glares. The unspoken _We'll talk about this later_ rings loud and clear.

Satori flicks his tongue, and Eita can somehow tell it's a human gesture more than a reptilian one.

"I'm not sure," he finally answers, peering down at Shouyou. This close, the drenched kitten effect multiplies tenfold. His heart can't take this anymore.

"Why don't we go get some ramen?"

Eita nearly falls over when Satori suddenly grows back to boa constrictor size and drapes himself across Eita's shoulders.

"Yessss! Free food!"

Eita clicks his tongue. "I asked _Shouyou_."

The snake droops his head so it's closer to Shouyou, and Eita does not like that at all.

"Chibiko isssn't going to sssay no to free food."

Shouyou doesn't say anything immediately and, since he's still wrapped in the blanket cocoon, Eita can't make anything out by his expression or body language. It's just horrifyingly sad to see Shouyou anything less than excitable.

"Okay," he says, in the weakest, most resigned voice ever. Eita is wrenched with guilt for letting this happen to the boy. He should have did something to prevent this, or at least tried to explain it better when he couldn't. This is ruining him.

Satori cheers and all three of them head out of The Sainetto Society guild. Eita looks back once, still feeling the lingering dark miasma that sticks to the air right under his skin even when he knows it's passed.

He still can't decide if moving the heart was the right decision.

* * *

Michimiya tearing him a new one, he could stomach. All the magic stuff in general, he could live with. The youkai he's forced to deal with, he could manage.

The shrine getting overrun by carnivorous old lady demons? Yeah, Hajime's still trying to get out of that one.

"How the fuck did this happen?!" he yells, as he bats away an ugly grandma with a frying pan. He's got Kuroo behind him on top of the kitchen because apparently, new land god was on the demon menu if the "Let me eat your flesh, young god!" was anything to go by. Michimiya is somewhere in the fray beating down the grotesque things with her bare fists and even Yin is snapping her maw at the demon grandmas. The kitten is somewhere in Kuroo's hair as he tries to do something with a talisman while also yelling across to Michimiya attempting to figure out the situation.

Hajime bangs another demon across the forehead when it tries to go for Kuroo's leg when Kuroo asks, "Michimiya! Why am I suddenly getting attacked by old lady demons?! This has never happened before!"

"I don't know!" she replies, introducing another pouncing demon to her fist. "I—" She spins around and knees grandma oni number a thousand, "I think Chi might have broken the contract!"

"What does that even mean?!" Hajime shouts. He's trying to hack away three different demon ladies at once when a fourth one jumps over him. He barely has time to turn around before the old lady honest to god bursts into flames.

"I did it!" Kuroo cheers, only to yelp as another old lady gets to close and attempts to bite his leg off. He slams a talisman on her forehead and she too joins the first's fiery demise.

"It means that—" Michimiya punches through another demon and jumps to Hajime's side, "—Kuroo doesn't have her protection anymore. Which was what was stopping this—" Michimiya knees a zombie lady in the gut and the grotesque woman goes down immediately, "—from happening on a daily basis."

"Why would Shiro break the contract?" Kuroo asks, throwing a talisman folded into paper airplane at the row of onii grandmas in front of Hajime. That too bursts into flames.

Hajime's just glad the magic fire doesn't make anything else burst into flames. He isn't glad, however, from the way Michimiya's face twists into worry.

"I honestly don't know," she confesses.

Yin yips, and Hajime whips around and pounds the demon lady who'd just tried to bite the fox. Yin whimpers and lips over to Hajime's side.

Things take a turn for the worst and best at the same time when Oikawa Tooru rings out with an, "I'm back~!"

"Watch out for the—!" The temperature in the room drops dramatically. It's a few moments where Hajime can hear nothing but the cries of anguish he'd written off as Crazy Demon Lady noises. The doorway slowly freezes and becomes incased in ice. Several huge blocks of ice can be seen being thrown down the hall through the icy doorway, or maybe Hajime should call them demon grandma popsicles.

Oikawa sashays into view with a butler's uniform of all things, his arm threatening icy demise to any youkai lady daring to approach him lifted, and he immediately brightens when he sees them all huddled in the corner of the kitchen.

"What's this? You all decided to have a free for all without me? I'm _hurt_."

"Does it look like we're having fun over here?!" Hajime shouts, as another demon lady takes the opportunity to leap at him. He flings the frying pan right at her face.

"Not really." Then, because Oikawa Tooru is a fucking asshole, he grabs on of the chairs that Hajime had thrown earlier, rights it up, and sits in it. Crossing his legs and his arms, he gives them all what Hajime can only describe as an Eat Shit look. "This will be fun to watch!"

"I cannot believe you're really this much of an—" Kuroo shouts as yet another lady tries to chomp his leg. Hajime realizes, very quickly, that he should not have thrown the frying pan.

He throws himself at the demon lady who pounces at Kuroo. They hit the kitchen floor grappling. Oikawa snickers.

"I hadn't known you went for the older type, Iwa-chan!"

"Fuck you!"

Hajime flips over and manages to kick the lady off of him. He'd rolled around until he was now at Yin's feet. The fox licks him and it gives Hajime no comfort at all.

"Oikawa! Come on! Help us!" Kuroo pleads. He fumbles with a talisman and Michimiya has to come to his rescue when he accidentally drops the paper. The kitten meows wildly in his hair. "Aren't you supposed to listen to me now?!"

"Now, why would I do anything of the sort?" Oikawa chimes. One brave demon lady endeavors to approach him. Oikawa shoots her a glare and she backs down.

"I don't know— _because I kissed you_?!"

" _What._ " Hajime kicks a demon lady away and reclaims his spot next to Michimiya. "Why the hell did you kiss Oikawa?!"

"I didn't _kiss him_ kiss him," Kuroo explains, chugging two more paper airplanes over their heads. "It was to—break a contract or something!"

"Exactly, Roocchi." Oikawa lifts a sophisticated finger with a tut tut gesture. "The first kiss broke the contract." He lifts another finger and adds it to the first one, the Eat Shit expression on his face still in effect, "You'd have to kiss me twice to form contract with me. Isn't that convenient?"

Kuroo jumps off the table and over the old ladies right in front of Oikawa who blinks at him in surprise. Kuroo then grabs him by the front of his shirt and slams a kiss on his mouth.

Hajime pretends that all the old demon ladies don't stop and stare for a second.

"Oikawa Tooru," Kuroo begins, with a shit-eatting grin on his face as Oikawa pouts, "I order you to—"

The ground shakes.

Everyone just about tumbles and falls. Kuroo manages to grab the kitten before it drops out of his hair when he tumbles to the ground. Hajime has fallen onto Yin. Michimiya, who had been grappling with a demon lady right before the earthquake, falls onto him. Oikawa had been thrown somewhere near Kuroo, and scattered all around them were a bunch of fallen youkai grandmas.

The wooden wall of the shrine shifts and rearranges itself, folding it on itself and creeping away to form a gigantic hole in the wall which leads through several other rooms straight to the outside. It kind of reminds Hajime about the story he'd read once where the water had shifted into two to let a man past, except this was an entire shrine and, of course, Shiro.

She strides through the newly made pathway with purpose in her step, her pristine white yukata fluttering. Pieces of wood form into root-like entities and wrap around most of the demon ladies, flinging them up and over Shiro and out of the shrine. Still, she strides in as calm as the ocean. Once she reaches the kitchen, most of the old demon ladies are stars somewhere in the distance. The last one is presented to Shiro withering and reeling as the wooden tentacle like thing dangles the old lady youkai in front of her by the neck. Shiro, with her arms hidden in her sleeves as usual, has her nose up in the air and glares murder at the struggling demon grandma.

"Show your grotesque excuse of a face in front of me again, and I will singlehandedly remove your existence from this world."

She doesn't even wait for a response as the wooden tentacle flings the old lady with all the others ones. As soon as the demon grandma is out of sight, the shrine closes in on itself and returns to normal like nothing has ever happened.

"That," Michimiya begins as she removes herself off Hajime with a face pink from what Hajime assumes is exhaustion. She dusts of her pants before she grins at him, "That is why you need Shiro's protection."

And it would have been really cool if it hadn't ended then, but then Shiro walks up to a dazed Kuroo and yanks him down into a kiss.

They all ignore the startled sound he makes at that.

"Disgusting monstrosities, the lot of them," she says as she releases Kuroo. Hajime kind of feels a little bad for him with how red his face gets at that, but just kind of.

He touches a hand to his forehead. "I really wish all you magic idiots would stop kissing Kuroo."

Oikawa, completely scandalized, goes, "Excuse me! _He_ kissed _me_!"

Shiro, with absolute delight in her voice as she turns to him, says, "I would be honored to rid you of your jealousy on the matter, Hajime, You have but to ask—"

"No. Just… no."

* * *

Shouyou isn't sure what to do now.

Eita says and stands firm by the belief that Kenma is still alive, but Shouyou doesn't know. It's not that he doesn't want it to be true. He'd love for Kenma to be alive, he just doesn't know he would be.

The ramen he eats somehow tastes bland and like nothing. He's been to this shop before, and he knows that on any other day it would taste absolutely amazing as it melts in his mouth, but today he just can't feel it. His chest hurts and his eyes are itchy and his wings keep flopping around and hitting things. Eita apologizes in his stead each and every time Shouyou accidentally knocks over something, and he never stoops to scold Shouyou even when it's clearer Shouyou's fault. Shouyou would get mad if he had it in him each time Eita took the blame, but right now, he doesn't.

Keiji has taught him about possession. It's usually bad old youkai, fallen or former gods who stoop to it, in an attempt to gain a stronger body. They first must force the host they wish to control into depravity to weaken the heart. This can be done in a number of ways, Keiji has informed him. An evil youkai could kill their host's loved ones, force misfortunes upon them, force foul miasma on them, any number of horrible things to cause despair-inducing grief. Once this is accomplished, the evil spirit can easily invade their desired host. Once possession has taken place, it's a matter of either completely destroying the host's will, or the host may still have enough in them to force the spirit or old god out.

Shouyou doesn't understand how Kenma could reach any of those points without anyone noticing.

There's also the possibility of what Keiji had called instant depravity, where the evil spirit will take advantage of a misfortune immediately right after it happens and attempt to take over a body. This had much less of a chance of succeeding than long term depravity, but it could still work.

The knowledge doesn't make Shouyou feel any better.

Eita has been trying to coax him into talking for a while now, and even Tendou has cracked a joke or two, but Shouyou just can't do it. He just feel so sad and heartbroken and sad and angry and _sad_.

He doesn't like feeling sad.

"—to go back to the mountain, but I don't want him to go by himself."

Shouyou blinks lazily and scopes for Eita's black tipped locks. He's speaking to Tendou, whose finally reverted back to his human form. They're both walking on either side of him and having a conversation in low tones.

"Well, it's not like I can take him!" Tendou gapes, all wide eyes and gaping mouth. Then he smirks and all his features shift and narrow to accompany it. "You know, you haven't visited home in a while, Eita-kun! Maybe you should take him!"

Eita glares at him before sighing and running a hand through his bangs. "I don't have the time. There are things I need to do." Shouyou believes that there's an almost wistful tone in Eita's voice but he isn't sure.

"Things? What things?" Tendou questions, and Eita is back to glaring at him.

"Important things."

"Like planning my wedding?"

"Why do you keep bringing that up—?"

"I could take him."

Tendou and Eita pause. Shouyou keeps walking until he bumps face first into someone's chest. He blinks once before peering up.

"Taichi?" Eita places his hands on Shouyou's shoulders and pulls him back a step. Shouyou can almost feel his gaze on the back of his head before he addresses this 'Taichi' person, "Are you… are you sure? It's a long way off..."

"I'm sure." Taichi rubs the back of his head, "Though I'd have to take him now. Right now."

"Oh. Well, alright I guess… just give me a minute."

The hands on his shoulders place enough pressure to force Shouyou to turn around and face Eita. He leans down until he's eye level with him.

"Listen, Shouyou, Taichi here offered to take you back home. I want you to go with him, ok? And when you go back, don't—" Eita's face twists in concentration while he struggles for the right words, "— don't cause a lot of trouble for Keiji, ok?"

Shouyou gives a weak nod. Eita reluctantly removes his hands at that.

Shouyou turns and starts walking off in whatever direction. Taichi slings in next to him. They've barely walked a moment when Tendou says, "Wait _just_ a minute, Taichi!"

Taichi stops and so does Shouyou. He peers over his shoulder at Tendou just as Shouyou turns back to see him. There's a narrowness to his eyes and a contorted twist to his mouth as he stares with something like suspicion at Taichi.

"What's so important you gotta be to and back Kurama Mountain for, eh?"

Taichi doesn't miss a beat. "There's a quest I promised Shirabu to go on with him."

Shouyou's breathe hitches.

Shirabu… used to go on quests with Kenma. They'd probably went looking for treasure and beaten up bad youkai with their kickass skills and helped those in need. They'd probably had loads of fun going on those journeys.

Shouyou had always wanted to go a quest with Kenma. Now, he'll never get the chance.

Tendou has nothing more to say to that, so Shouyou and Taichi head off one of the paths weaving through the market district.

"You're Hinata right?"

Shouyou nods.

"You used to be friends with Kenma?"

Shouyou stops and peers up at him. He didn't know Kenma had even more friends in the Sainetto Society.

Taichi inspects the surrounding crowds and streets once before flicking back to Shouyou.

"My name's Kawanishi Taichi," says Kawanishi Taichi, "And I have a proposition for you."

Shouyou tilts his head, confusion overcoming his features.

Again, Kawanishi disregards Shouyou to look around, his dark orange hair shifting in the process. He finally seems to deem it satisfactory as he focuses back on Shouyou.

"I plan to find Kenma, and I want you to help me."

Shouyou isn't even surprised at the declaration. He's more surprised at the bitterness he feels. He wants to be the one able to say that and believe it one hundred percent. He was the one who's been Kenma's friend since forever. Shouldn't he be the one to find him; to believe in his safety even when everyone else is in doubt?

Yet why is it, when everyone else believes Kenma to be safe, he can't even bring himself to believe his friend is alive?

"Kenma… got possessed," he finds himself saying, even when his silence has rung loudly these past few days.

"Yeah I know," affirms Kawanishi, "I was there."

Shouyou snaps up to look at him in shock.

"You… you were?"

"Yup." Kawanishi never breaks eye contact even once with him after that. "I was there, and I saw it happen."

Despite everything Shouyou had said earlier, relief still floods through him. Knowing that it had happened instantly and not over time brings a sort of release to Shouyou. Knowing that his friend hadn't slowly been falling into a depravity no one had known about somehow settles him. Like a reaffirmation of his friendship with Kenma that yes, Kenma had been his friend, and no, he had not been living a double life behind the scenes, and yes, there's a possibility that Kenma is still out there and kicking.

"I saw it happen. And I saw Shirabu banish him."

Shouyou suddenly feels the conviction he'd been so desperately yearning for earlier.

"I think I might be able to find him," Kawanishi says, and Shouyou finds himself believing him, "but I can't do it alone. I need your help."

Shouyou does not like being sad. He likes to take action and go on adventures. He likes Kenma and Keiji and Eita and all his friends and family. He likes using magic and flying and a good fight. He likes being happy and having fun and bringing joy.

He will never gain those things he likes from being sad.

"I'll help," says a Shouyou with belief and conviction and drive, "Of course I'll help you find Kenma!"

* * *

Tetsurou has not been this giddy in a long time.

After that mess Shiro had so amazingly and awesomely cleaned up with her magic wood things from hell, she'd cooked for them.

Tetsurou doesn't understand why her food tastes as good as it does but it just _does_. It's all their favorites as usual, and all the spots on the table are taken. Michimiya sits next to Oikawa, teasing him about the earlier blunder he'd found himself in, and Kuroo is next to a grumpy Iwaizumi who chew mechanically. He's bitter about all of them ignoring the food he'd already taken the time and resources to make. Iwaizumi's cooking does taste good, but Shiro's is still better.

Shiro had even laid down a bowl for Yin and Miko, the new kitten. Shiro had been very spectacle about this new addition to the family, but had otherwise no other comments.

They'd all eaten their fair share and gone separate ways. Iwaizumi had gone off to bed, and Oikawa had disappeared with Yin somewhere. Kuroo watched as Michimiya hugged Shiro goodbye rather tightly before leaving.

Only Shiro and him remain awake in the living room. She's trying and failing rather hilarious to educate Miko and Tetsurou himself is barely holding back the laughter at the exchange.

Shiro pushes the kitten back a bit from where it had been trying to climb her thigh. She commands it to, "Stay." And Miko does as well as anyone would expect a cat, let alone a baby one, to do. She completely ignores the command and pads right back over, much to Shiro's indigence.

"Insolent feline." Again, she pushes it back and commands it to stay put.

Miko meows and walks right back over.

Tetsurou laughs a lot at the horrified shock in Shiro's face as Miko climbs her thigh and then curls up and rests there. Shiro shoots him a look but he can't help himself.

Shiro carefully lift the kitten with two hands and brings it closer to her face to glare at it.

"I have cowed greater enemies before, you _will_ listen to me."

Miko puts her paw on Shiro's nose, resulting in a complete dead pan expression that has Tetsurou laughing even harder.

"Laugh all you will, Tetsurou," Shiro says and he does just that, "I find it absurd how this tiny ball of fluff cannot comprehend that I am stronger than it."

"H-her name's M-miko," Tetsurou says in between breathy chuckles.

"One of these days, Miko will rue the day she defied me then." Shiro places the kitten back on the couch next to her, and Miko immediately curls up next to her thigh again. Shiro rolls her eyes.

A comfortable quiet settles over them for a moment before Shiro says, "Tetsurou?"

"Yeah?"

"Was…" Shiro studies Miko's blackish fur, "Was what the talisman said true? Did you truly… miss me?"

Tetsurou had completely forgotten about the embarrassing thing Iwaizumi had made him do earlier. He'd thought maybe the talisman wouldn't reach her in actual readable form. He's glad though that it did because for once, he's going to pretend that he had not died inside sending that embarrassing piece of shoujo crap to Shiro and just play along with it.

"Yeah." He scratches his nose and ignores the faint heat to his cheeks. "It's just not the same without you around."

"Is it now?" Shiro asks with a smirk to her mouth and voice. Tetsurou had not at all been expecting this. "What else isn't the same without me around? Enlighten me, Tetsurou."

Tetsurou isn't sure if this is what he thinks it is, so he tries another one, "Iwaizumi can't compete with your cooking skills."

And Shiro positively preens at that. It is what Tetsurou had thought it was! He hadn't known Shiro was so susceptible to flattery.

"And?"

He should use this. He should totally use this. "He also isn't as pretty as you."

Shiro grins at him, and Tetsurou finds himself reciprocating it.

"I'm pretty, am I?"

"Yes, very, _very_ pretty."

"Am I smart?"

"Super smart." And he takes a major risk and says, "You dumped Futakuchi, didn't you?"

He almost thinks he's gone too far, but then she laughs.

"I did, didn't I? A very smart decision on my part indeed."

"Very. Like I said, super smart."

"Then am I strong?"

"Are you kidding me? When you came in and handed those nasty old lady youkai their dignity on a silver platter? That was awesome."

"Was it now?"

"Yes, it very much was."

Shiro laughs again, and Tetsurou wants to get used to the sound and the way it makes him feel all mushy on the inside.

"That is strength, isn't it?"

"What else would it be!"

Shiro strokes Miko's fur offhandedly. "Talent, perhaps."

"Talent is strength, too!"

"Is it?"

"Yes!"

It's a long moment before Shiro replies. "Maybe I shall take your word for it then, Tetsurou."

She stands, carrying the sleeping kitten with her.

"I think I will head off to bed now."

Tetsurou moves to stand too and says something like, "Yeah, I think I'll cop out too—" but it gets stuck in his throat when Shiro leans down and kisses his forehead.

"Thank you, Tetsurou."

She heads off in the direction of the bedrooms just as Tetsurou's heart slams into his ribcage. He groans and moans and presses his red face in his hands.

Kokkuri Chishiro is unfair.

* * *

Taichi doesn't really _want_ to invade the crazy woman's dreams but he doesn't have much of a choice. Shirabu's life is at stake and it's one of the only lives he'll stick his neck out for.

As soon as he's in, goosebumps immediately tickle his skin. The whole place is ominous in its emptiness. There is no nature or anything rural in here nor is there anything urban and complex. There is no grass or barren land or paved road or buildings or shrines or people in here. It's just one big white nothingness enough to give anyone the heebie-jeebies and nightmare fodder.

Kokkuri dwells in the middle of this, eyeing an item in her hand rather curiously. Taichi's tail is poised and his wings are folded almost completely on his back as he walks towards her. His footsteps make no sound and he's never wanted to be anywhere else more in his life.

Taichi isn't an expert on human food, but he thinks the brown shelled grain between Kokkuri's fingers is a walnut. He's about to speak when she suddenly looks at him.

"I don't know who you are," Kokkuri implores, eyes back on the walnut as she weighs it in her hand. "Enlighten me with your name."

Taichi really doesn't want to. The danger bells throbbing in his head are screaming red alerts and Shirabu has stressed on so many different occasions how dangerous this woman can be. It's exactly why he's doing this in the first place.

"Kawanishi."

Kokkuri immediately glares his way when he doesn't completely answer her order but Taichi doesn't relent. He'd rather she be outright aggressive and glare because damn is passivity on this woman frightening.

"Is there a reason a demon like yourself has deemed it necessary to intrude on my personal illusion?" she asks with a dry smile. Again, she rubs the walnut's surface between her fingertips "I don't have any vanity left to provide for you."

"I want to make a deal with you."

Her fingers still and Kokkuri eyes him again quizzically, "Oh? Is that so? I'm sorry to say that I haven't made a habit of forming agreements with demons whose names I have no knowledge of."

She smiles at that. It's menacing and cold and anything but not inviting. "Names don't have much power nowadays." A dry laugh. "I know that more than anyone."

Taichi comprehends that yet giving out his name still unsettles him. Kokkuri doesn't look like she's going to give up the issue nor consider his deal if he doesn't so he sighs and gives up his given name.

"So, _Taichi_ ," The way she says it gives him even more creeps than the whole white nothing they're in. "Humor me. What is this 'deal' you'd like to form with me?"

Taichi encloses further around himself and clenches and unclenches his fist. He remembers Ushijima's 'bonds are strongest when blood runs mutually and when blood is drawn' and he remembers Shirabu's face and it's that final thought that gives him courage.

"I want you to vow not to hurt Shirabu Kenjirou in any shape or form."

Kokkuri's eyebrows meet her hairline. "Shirabu Kenjirou?" Her expression immediately turns intrigued. "And what do I stand to gain from this promise?"

Taichi prepares himself for an escape, his wings unfurl and his tails snaps and he's finally able to get some wind in here. _Shirabu. I'm doing this for Shirabu. I won't let her hurt Shirabu._

"If you vow not to hurt Shirabu Kenjirou in any shape or form," he affirms, just to make sure she knows exactly what he wants from her and precisely what she's getting into. He lays down his entire deck and pushes all his bargain chips into the mix. "I'll find Kozume Kenma for you."

Taichi had expected Kokkuri to get angry. He'd expected her to be terrifyingly furious. All up in arms and stampeding down the war path. Indignant. Irate. Annoyed. Vexed. Fuming. Any sort of expression that all ultimately could be translated to mad.

Nothing has ever set him on the tittering edge the way Kokkuri had when she'd laughed.

"Oh, _now_ I understand what you are asking of me, Taichi." She chuckles some more behind a hand and throws him a toothy grin. "I'm unsure whether you are very smart or very foolish."

"Do we have a deal?" The whiteness is beginning to sharpen and accentuate into darker shades. Obscure whispers begin to curl into Taichi's ears. The tension is beginning to turn into something physical and his senses start to weaken. It's like he's trapped in water, all sounds muffled, all sights vanishing, all feelings numb. It's difficult to make out these whispered murmurs with this thick condensed tension denying him of all his senses and it's one particularly sharp mumur that seriously freaks Taichi out and makes him want to second guess everything that has lead him to this point. When he understands what is being said, suddenly it's a hundred times more oppressing.

Even though he's the demon here, it seems like he's going to be the one coming out of this with nightmares of one hundred thousand voices stage-whispering ' _Kenma_ '.

"You have a deal, Kawanishi Taichi." The water-like suspense is gone and shit, Kokkuri's suddenly teleported in front of him. She grasps his shirt before he flaps away. He absolutely does he not want this monster touching him.

"However, for your information," He's yanked down and his blood runs impossibly cold with the threat she whispers right into his ear.

"If you double cross me, _Taichi_ , Shirabu Kenjirou's blood won't be the only one on my hands." Her smile is not at all welcoming. "Do you understand?"

_Completely. Totally. Absolutely. I always thought Terushima was exaggerating with the chill pill thing. Shirabu owes me like fifty hugs._

All he actually voices is a simple yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a tumblr where you can feel free to yell at me


	6. In which Tanaka Saeko and the Miya Twins laugh boisterously through the pros and cons while everyone else takes a highway to hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is late bcuz i played a persona game for the first time in my life and told myself i'd finished the game quick and then write this chapter. my old self had no idea what i was getting into.

**Bonds Of Descendants**

* * *

Chapter Six: In which Tanaka Saeko and the Miya Twins laugh boisterously through the pros and cons while everyone else takes a highway to hell

* * *

The raining season in Miyagi brings peace, routine, an abundance of water, and an equal amount of sick people.

The first one to go down with both the cold and the medal for Stupidest Way Of Getting Sick is Oikawa. He'd gotten rained on and, instead of drying off as quickly as possible like a normal person, he'd apparently used his 'Dripping With Good Looks' state—as he'd dubbed it— in the host club he works at. Tetsurou has gotten the pleasure of meeting Oikawa's boss who'd brought the idiot home after wrapping him in a blanket.

Yahaba Shigeru is like a miniature Oikawa but without the asshole part. Actually, the similarities end at their appearances. Yahaba is polite, respectful, likable, and pleasant. Tetsurou had sort of been sold when Yahaba had addressed him as 'Kuroo-san'. Sure it had then been accompanied by a ten minute lecture on how to care of Oikawa in his sickly state, but he would still take Oikawa Tooru Second Edition over the original, who within one minute of bossman leaving, had groaned and moaned up a storm from within the comfort of his blanket cocoon about the unfairness of it all.

"I don't understand how you even  _got_  sick. Aren't you supposed to be used to the cold, with all the ice magic?"

"I don't know, Roochi, the same way you've gotten used to the horrible thing you call hair. Oh wait, you  _haven't_."

Oikawa is also ten times more mettlesome and likely to piss you off when his nose is stuffed.

Tetsurou expects Iwaizumi's reaction, who starts wearing a medical mask inside the house and avoids Oikawa like the plague itself. He hadn't, however, expected Shiro to go ballistic. It had been something about—"A person under  _my_  care catch a cold? I've never seen the day."

She'd shoved Oikawa in three more blankets, forced him to drink three cups of various teas a day, made enough soup to feed the entirety of Japan for Oikawa to consume, and forced him on a sleeping schedule. The last one had developed into many an argument, where Shiro had threatened to physically hold down him until he fell asleep. And of course, Tetsurou wasn't about to let Shiro sleep with Oikawa.

And that's how he'd ended up sick as a dog.

"I cannot believe this."

Tetsurou groans something like an agreement. He pokes his foot out from under the blankets he'd been wrapped in himself and kicks Oikawa. The harbinger of this disaster is thrown next to him on the couch with just as many blankets, groaning.

"This is your fault," Tetsurou moans. He doesn't even have the strength to return his foot to the blanket cocoon. Oikawa is quick to return the shove, albeit with enough force to make Tetsurou grunt.

"Excuse me, Roochi, but don't blame your shortcomings as both a god and a human on me," Oikawa replies primly, his now nasally voice even more grating on the ears than his usual one. Tetsurou kicks him again.

And the he almost wants to pout when Shiro actually agrees with asshat.

"Tooru, for once in his life, brings up a valid point." With the swish of her hand, another blanket glides into the room and rests between Shiro's outstretched fingers. She places it over their outstretched legs before Oikawa and Tetsurou start kicking each other again.

"I swear I'm practicing!" Tetsurou jabs a finger towards Oikawa. "I turn his food into milkbread every day. How else do you think he stops whining?"

"Forgive me, Tetsurou, I was unaware you were the god of milkbread."

Tooru's following snort is cut short as Shiro yanks his ear. It develops into a yelp as she clicks her tongue. "I know understand why you were overcome by this sickness. If you continue to behave like a child who refuses to eat his vegetables, I will personally insure no further milkbread enters this abode until I decide otherwise."

Tetsurou expects Oikawa to gape at this like someone has just slapped him across the face with a plastic glove, but Oikawa actually has the audacity to scoff.

"I'd like to see you try, Shiro-chan!"

And then Shiro smiles a tiny little smile at Tetsurou, like they're the only ones privy to a secret, and Tetsurou is a bit too preoccupied with the heightened beating of his heartbeat near his ears to think on it. Or it might be the pounding headache he's had since the morning. He's not entirely sure.

"You forget, Tooru, that you are now contracted to Tetsurou."

And then Tetsurou gets the Slapped Across The Face expression he'd been gunning for. He almost returns Shiro's smile too, albeit with his own ingenuity and mockery laced into it, but Shiro ruins the moment with a—"Though why Tetsurou couldn't seem to remember that yesterday is still a mystery."

She then tugs his hair, and quite hard at that. " _Ow!_ " He finds it hard to relish in any of her cold touches when she's endeavoring to press his hair into what she probably think is a presentable position.

His hair continues its streak of flawless victories as usual.

"I blame this mess. I solemnly believe it prevents the correct amount of oxygen from reaching your brain."

He doesn't plan to bat her hands away, but his body convulses with a sneeze and Shiro's quick to retreat. She wordlessly hands him a tissue.

"You know, maybe if you actually taught me some magic—" Tetsurou blows his nose rather noisily, "—instead of leaving me to my own not very magic-y devices, I might actually learn to do something."

Before Shiro can answer, Iwaizumi, with an even bigger medical mask that looks more like an Arabian niqab now than anything with its more extravagant size, slides up open the wooden panel. He wordlessly places Miko inside, and then slides it shut before they can catch the full blunt of his glare.

Miko, the black cat with her one white socked paw, mewls once before padding over and scaling Tetsurou's blanket cocoon until she can nestle neatly into his hair.

Tetsurou's glad at least one being in this household appreciates the crow's nest atop his head, but Miko has gotten bigger and heavier, and her larger size does no favors to the kinks and pains tingling in his neck.

"Mikko," he whines, "You're too heavy."

Miko whacks her tail against his face. Shiro mercifully removes the cat.

"I may see fit to teach you a spell once you get over this sickness," Shiro acknowledges levelly, and Tetsurou brightens impossibly at the thought of magic lessons.

Except he wakes up the next day even sicker.

Iwaizumi downs enough tea and gurgles enough salt water to drown the entire populace of Japan in an endeavor to fight any potential illness that may creep up on him from now both Tetsurou and Oikawa.

Oikawa gets it into his head that they should all go down together, and tries to make Iwaizumi sick. Tetsurou would tell him off with his now godly orders, but he's too busy laughing hysterically while Iwaizumi actually flees from Oikawa, who chases after him with his arms outstretched and a screech of, " _Let me love you, Iwa-chan!_ " which sounds more like a, " _Leb me lob you, Iwa-chan!_ " with how stuffed his nose is.

From the opened sliding door, Yin runs past too with a happy yip. Tetsurou hears first a "Yes! Get him, YinYin!" Then a thump, and then a sneeze, and then—"I'll kill you. I'll fucking murder you in cold blood and throw your body to the crows."

Iwaizumi joins their sick parade the next morning, much to the dismay of Shiro.

"I believed in you, Hajime," she says, her fingers latched around his wrist as Iwaizumi tries desperately to pull away. "Is this bulk of muscle truly just bran?"

"Let— _go of me,_ " grinds Iwaizumi a pitch too croaky. If Tetsurou was more awake for this, he would have laughed at the amount of effort Iwaizumi was putting into escaping. He's clutching the doorframe and trying to push off his feet to yank his hand away. Shiro holds his wrist seemingly effortlessly.

"You are in no condition to be going to work like this."

"I'm perfectly—" a rattling cough shakes Iwaizumi's frame. He has to bend over to accompany it. It has a strangled tone to it which Tetsurou is hurt just  _hearing_. He'd just gotten over that stage himself, and now he's worried for Iwaizumi's health "—fine."

"Yes, you've demonstrated such quite well."

She yanks him into the room.

"I can't—I need to go— _Shiro_."

Iwaizumi is wrapped in the comforters flying into the room. He's dropped in the space between Tetsurou and Oikawa were they now form a trio of sick men. He squirms right and left but Shiro must have magicked the blanket not to unfurl because he can't seem to get out of it.

"Do not fret, Hajime. I will insure your incapacitation is not met with repercussions."

Tetsurou rapidly gains awareness when Shiro, with an actual poof sound, transforms into a taller and bulkier Iwaizumi.

" _You can do that?_ " he asks in a gape. Tetsurou really needs to sit down with Shiro and ask her what she  _can't_  do.

"Ah, you were awake, Tetsurou," her smirk, deeper voice, and just plain Shiro-ness on Iwaizumi is frightful sight. "But of course. I have many abilities, this is but one of them."

"No one in their right mind is going to fall for this—" Iwaizumi is again accosted by a hacking cough. His leans back until his head meets the back of the sofa so he can glare at Shiro without having to sit up. "You look nothing like me. I'm not that bulky, or that—" Iwaizumi grinds whittles down to a grumble "—that tall."

Shiro turns into a much more Iwaizumi looking body with a swish of her hand. His hand. Tetsurou is very confused.

"Will this satisfy your need to represent the shortest among us?" she asks with a smirk. He asks. Tetsurou's sick brain is not really helping him out.

"You talk nothing like me," Iwaizumi deadpans, and then he goes on with the many, many reasons why this disguise of Shiro's won't work. "You don't even know where I work. Or what I do. Or how to do it. I need to go. I can't miss a day."

"Relax, Hajime. Your concerns are a trivial matters." She waves a hand in an offhand gesture. "Besides, all I must do is curse every second sentence, and no one will be the wiser."

"You're never going to trick Takano. Hell, even Kindaichi will know."

Tetsurou gives himself a moment to imagine Takano, Iwaizumi's boss, and Shiro, Iwaizumi's Pain In The Neck, meet.

He snorts so hard it hurts.

"These are your coworkers, yes?" Shiro fixes the now short black hair sprouting from her head, and gives them a simper which doesn't look natural on Iwaizumi's face. "I'm sure they'll both adore my impression of you. They'll never suspect a thing. Now, Yin dear."

Yin pads into the living room with a happy but quiet bark, like she's taking into the account all the sick people with headaches in the room. Tetsurou can't believe the fox is more well-mannered than Oikawa.

Shiro with her Iwaizumi disguise pats the fox's head fondly. "You're in charge. Make sure none of these imbeciles strain themselves."

Yin's happy bark is interrupted by a squeaky yowl from Miko, who bounds into the room with a more dog-like pace than Yin.

Shiro raises an eyebrow as Yin trots behind her with a whimper, but then snaps back to Miko when she meows again.

"You are hardly three months of age. I will not leave you in charge."

Another sound between a meow and a yowl.

" _No_. I will not be leaving you in charge of anything."

"You can... talk to cats?" Iwaizumi asks, a very confused tone in his croaky voice.

"Mikko wants to be in charge?" Tetsurou questions, with an amused lit to his own croaky voice.

"You know what? You deal with this rebellious spoiled ball of fluff," Shiro says exasperatedly, picking up the kitten and placing her between Iwaizumi and Tetsurou. As per usual, Miko immediately begins scaling Tetsurou. "I have work to attend."

"Wait, Shiro, you're not actually—Shiro,  _Shiro_!"

Iwaizumi's calls and further squirming falls on deaf ears. Shiro is already gone.

* * *

In the Marukawa Department for the editing and publishing of Emerald Monthly, Kindaichi Yuutarou is accustomed to screaming.

Although, even he is a little perplexed when his coworker, Iwaizumi, arguably Yuutarou's number one pick for the Best Senpai To Ever Exist award, barely takes a step into the department when Takano immediately shouts, "Who the hell are you?"

Iwaizumi, in a very un-Iwaizumi like fashion, blinks once before a smirk graces his face. Yuutarou has never seen Iwaizumi smirk before, and he's having a lot trouble returning to his proposal when again, in another fashion that does not seem very Iwaizumi Hajime, his coworker runs a hand through his hair and slams a hand on Takano's desk.

"I am impressed, human. To be called out so soon. A disgrace to my reputation is what it is. However," Yuutarou think he needs another cup of coffee because he swears that Iwaizumi's eyes flash red or something, "I  _am_  Iwaizumi Hajime." A pause, and then a cherry, misplaced, "Fuck!"

Yuutarou doesn't wince from cursing anymore either, even if he really wishes he still had the aversion of middle schooler to the more colorful terms Takano used.

Takano leans back and kicks his legs up on the desk, the glare on his face radiating enough annoyance that Yuutarou himself wants to get on his knees and apologize a hundred times.

"I don't really care who the fuck you are. If you can work, then get to it."

"But of course, my liege." Iwaizumi presses a palm to his chest and bows. Yuutarou is starting to get very worried about the sudden increasing politeness and vaster vocabulary. And then he gets worried about himself for thinking extra politeness and big words, as opposed to screaming and cussing, is strange.

And really, the only reason he doesn't go into an existential crisis on the matter right then and there is because Takano snaps and turns the glare Yuutarou had been dreading on him.

"Stop staring like a slack jawed idiot, Kindaichi. Get back to work!"

Yuutarou quickly returns to typing his proposal at a much faster pace after a, "Y-yes, Takano-san!"

Iwaizumi saunters over to his desk and sits. There's a long moment where the smirk on his face just keeps growing and growing as he examines the small calendar propped up at the inside edge of the desk. It's starting to give Yuutarou weird vibes and he's having trouble focusing on the proposal he has to finish by the end of the day. Yuutarou's just never seen Iwaizumi so... un-Iwaizumi before.

It's  _weird_.

"Kindaichi, is it?"

Yuutarou startles and immediately glues himself back to the proposal that he should really get over with. "Y-yes?"

Out of the corner is his eyes, Iwaizumi had a sort of closed eye loose smile on his face that Yuutarou has never seen on him before today. It's soft in a way that Iwaizumi usually isn't and wow, this sudden change is really starting to effect Yuutarou a bit too much if he's suddenly having philosophical monologues instead of working on something that will insure his death by Takano's hand if not done in time.

"Remind me of your full name. My memory betrays me," asks Iwaizumi. Yuutarou doesn't even have time to be confused before Iwaizumi adds, "Oh, forgive me. I meant to say my memory fucking betrays me. Yes, that is exactly it."

Yuutarou doesn't comment on the rather misplaced f-bomb suddenly laced in Iwaizumi's speech. Or rather, he's not really sure how to say 'You're f-bomb to sentence ratio is a little out of whack today. Are you ok, Iwaizumi-san?' without Iwaizumi thinking  _Yuutarou_  was out of whack. And rude. He definitely wants to live his life free of being rude to a senpai he greatly respects.

"Yuutarou. Kindaichi Yuutarou."

"Then, Yuutarou," and really,  _Iwaizumi Hajime_  calling him by his first name is enough of a reason for anyone to be startled. And blushy. Definitely a good reason for blushing. The whole room seems a little warmer than usual actually. "Be a, ah,  _fucking_  dear, and remind me where the printers are, won't you?"

"U-um," Yuutarou opens and closes his mouth. Surely he'd heard that wrong, right? They weren't close enough to go by first name basis. Well, Iwaizumi  _is_  his superior coworker, so that probably gives him a head start on the gist of things. But Iwaizumi doesn't seem like the type to do that? Yuutarou has to have misheard—

"Yuutarou? Are you well? Your face has gone impossibly pink— _Ah_ ," Iwaizumi Hajime rests his face on a knuckle, the sleeve of his shirt falling around his elbow. Yuutarou's having trouble thinking coherently. "It seems Hajime has an admirer."

Iwaizumi  _smiles_  at him. "How— _fucking_  adorable—"

Takano smacks Iwaizumi upside the head with a manuscript. The glare to his upturned nose is enough to send Yuutarou back to his proposal at godspeed.

"Stop flirting with my employees and get to work, fox."

Iwaizumi hisses while massaging the back of his scalp. He returns the glare immediately.

"How  _dare_  you assault me, human—"

"If you don't get enough work done by the end of the day, I'm firing Iwaizumi."

Iwaizumi stays quiet at this, the seething glare still on his face before it's replaced with a more neutral one.

"I will accomplish twice Hajime's usual load for I  _am_  Iwaizumi Hajime, you insufferable fucking human."

Yuutarou is  _very_  confused.

"And you," Takano uses the manuscript in his hand to point at Yuutarou. For his part, Yuutarou immediately places this entire situation at the back of his mind and resumes typing, pretending that he isn't slouching to hide from Takano's glare, "That proposal better be on my desk by tonight or I'm placing you on Yokozawa duty."

Yuutarou begins typing at a much faster pace almost immediately.

The mystery of Iwaizumi Hajime can be put on hold when Yuutarou isn't in danger of being put on dreaded Yokozawa duty.

* * *

Under normal circumstances, Hajime would be opposed to throwing cats at people.

However, when it involves a bolt of lightning, Terushima, the breaking of second coffee table after they'd just fucking fixed the first one, and Terushima pontificating something along the lines of, "Hey, peeps! How's it—Shit, you all look  _horrible_ ," Hajime isn't exactly opposed to Kuroo throwing Miko at the asshole.

Miko soars with a yowl and lands claws first on Terushima's face. He yelps and tips over, and the other three men in the room are left immensely satisfied.

Terushima detaches Miko and holds her at arm's length. There's a few long scratches now dotting his face.

"Not cool, man," he announces with a frown, "Not cool at all—"

Miko digs her claws in his wrists and he drops her with another yelp.

Miko jumps back onto the couch and climbs back up into Kuroo's hair. Said boy jabs a finger towards Terushima.

"You totally deserved that, you jackass. Now give me back that mallet thing you took!"

Terushima sits cross-legged on the floor and gingerly touches one of the scratches before wincing.

"I'm not giving something back Shiro gave me  _willingly_." He pokes another one of the scratches. "Aw man, did you really have to throw the cat at me?"

"What do you mean she gave it to you  _willingly_? She wasn't even here!" Kuroo protests before devolving into a coughing fit.

"Do you really think we're gonna believe that?" Hajime continues and Kuroo throws a thumbs up his way while still hacking his lungs out. Hajime rolls his eyes.

"Unfortunately for you two, Shima-chin  _is_  telling the truth," Oikawa yawns. Hajime narrows his eyes at him.

"What do you mean he's telling the truth? What was the point of all the ward things then and the speeches and all that other shit!"

Terushima is the one who answers him. "Do you really think Shiro's gonna be all like 'Yuuji-kun! Here, you can have your mallet back. But it isn't because I like you or anything like that!'"

Oikawa snorts. Hajime doesn't even try to protest the notion anymore.

Kuroo still tries, but Hajime doesn't think it's for the right reasons.

"First off, Shiro is not a tsundere, and she does not like you," Kuroo articulates rather well despite his earlier coughing fit. "Second, I still don't believe you."

"Why weren't those points reversed, Roocchi?" Oikawa implores in mock wonder. "I think the second point is more important than the first one, no?"

"Shut up."

"Woah, wait, you  _like_  Shiro?" Asks Terushima in an incredulous voice that does not at all match the hypocrite that had kissed her without permission.

"Why are you even here?" Kuroo asks, in a blatant attempt to change the subject away from his pink ears.

"Woah, you  _do_!" Terushima cackles. Hajime really wishes Miko would find it in her to jump on him again. "That's  _precious_."

"Shima-chin, back to the main subject," Oikawa interjects with a lofty hand gesture, actually helpful for once in his useless life. Hajime should not be this baffled over Oikawa trying to be an upstanding citizen of society. He should, however, be more baffled over the fact that's all it took for him to believe Oikawa is an upstanding citizen of society.

"Oh, you're gonna  _love_  this." Hajime already hates it. "So you know how Kuroo-kun here is a god and all?"

No, Hajime does not want to know. Because if the standards for being a god are low enough for both Kuroo  _and_  Terushima to be one, Hajime is becoming an atheist. He likes to think of them more as Powerful Idiots In Over Their Heads. He likes that title way better.

Terushima continues without waiting for an answer, "So there's this super awesome party for gods up in Izumo around the corner, and well, since no one knows you exist except, like,  _me_ , I'm inviting you!"

Hajime waits for the punch line he knows isn't coming.

"You're serious," laments Kuroo, with enough confounded exasperated in his rough voice for all of them. "You literally just  _stole_  from us, and now you're inviting me to a  _party_?"

"I want to go!" Oikawa, who had just been groaning under a mountain of blankets about all the sores and aches he had, throws them off with strength Hajime wishes he had right now, and leans over Hajime to get to Kuroo. Hajime does no appreciate the extra weight. "Let's go, Roochi! It'll be so fun watching all those stuffy delegates try to one up each other!"

"Who's side are you on?" asks Kuroo, offended, as Hajime grumbles, "Get  _off_  me."

"The party side of course!" Oikawa wiggles until he's sprawled halfway over Kuroo with his legs still on Hajime's lab. He throws hand over his forehead in his usual dramatics. "And I'm too weak to move."

Hajime and Kuroo ignore him just because they also really are too weak to move.

"How come Shiro never told me about this god party?" Kuroo asks, and that's a good question. However, since when has Shiro ever been—

"You really think Shiro's gonna be all like 'Tetsu-kun! There's going to be a Divine Assembly soon! But it's not like I want you to go or anything like that!'

—that. She's never been that.

"Can you please stop doing that." Kuroo massages his own temple. If the headache is from the cold or Terushima, though, Hajime isn't completely sure. "What do you even do in this... Divine Assembly?"

In complete cherry unison, Oikawa and Terushima go, "Talk shit and get hit!"

Hajime is not even one bit surprised. He wasn't joking about Powerful Idiots In Over Their Heads being the perfect description of these 'gods'.

"We  _have_  to go, Roocchi." Oikawa adds, with a pleading sort of look that promises whining and pouting no one wants to deal with right now.

"Plus," Terushima adds with a grin that gives Hajime more bad feelings than Future Oikawa Whinings. "There's going to be gods from all over Japan present. Maybe one of them will know a thing or two about Kenken!"

Suddenly, Hajime does not like the sound of this party at all.

* * *

Yui tugs a strand of hair behind her ear while she waits. She'd finally managed to drag Chi into an outing Yui had been planning since forever. They're in the human world, at a local mall in the town Chi lives close to, and Yui sits at the edge of fountain tapping away at her phone waiting for the fox.

She's late. Which is either a cause for exasperation or worry. Yui decides exasperation when black slacks appear in her vision and she looks up to find an out of place smug look on Iwaizumi Hajime's face.

"Salutations, my sweet," 'Iwaizumi' bends at the knee and takes her hand, placing a soft kiss on her fingers. The mischievous smile is exactly that, too mischievous. "I dear hope you haven't waited long?"

Yup, definitely, positively, impossibly confident, not actually Iwaizumi Hajime.

"Chi, come on!" Even if it is a rather extravagantly cute look on the man, Yui isn't about to let this continue more than it probably has. "You know Iwaizumi-kun isn't really going to appreciate you gallivanting around like this!"

"Pardon my dear, but I am this 'Iwaizumi-kun' you speak of." Yui nearly trips over her own feet when Chi straighten ups abruptly and pulls her close to Iwaizumi's chest. The smile hasn't even dropped a smudge. "Surely you must trust the increased beating of your heart on this, no?"

There are humans staring at them.

Yui shoves a hand against the face too smug to ever be caught on the real Iwaizumi. Chi immediately uncurls the arms which had been wrapped around Yui's waist to rub at a red face.

"Why must you be so rough on me? I was under the impression you held a torch for me," Chi pouts. On Iwaizumi, it's a smolder soft on the inside but rough around the edges. Yui isn't sure she can take much more of this.

"Chi—"

"Allow me the satisfaction of choosing lingerie in this form before I do as you wish."

" _Chishiro_ —"

It's after the third clothes stores does Chi finally change back into her original human form. If only so she could find the right size for the human's newest invention of the bakeneko keyhole bra.

"Are you really going to buy this?"

"Come now, Yui! Don't you find it charming?"

"I mean, it is cute, but like...it's really impractical? And you don't even  _like_  cats."

"Just because I'm not the fondest of felines, doesn't necessarily translate to me not understanding their appeal. And besides, Yui, if I purchase this while in Hajime's form, it will be as if he bought the gift himself! Imagine his face as I say, 'I'm wearing that dreadful piece of undergarment you gifted me!' It will be marvelous!"

"Pfft—C- _Chi_! T-that's just m- _mean_ — _Pfft_ —" Yui can't help but burst into laughter at that, no matter how long she tries to stifle it behind a hand. Chi is back in Iwaizumi's body in an instant.

"Huh? What? I would never fucking buy something like this!"

Yui laughs so much her sides begin to hurt.

Again, Chi stubbornly sticks to Iwaizumi's form. They flock to a restaurant and order some hamburgers and fries. They don't really need food the same way humans do, but it's a fun luxury and Yui always did like the way the fried potatoes tasted after she dips them in ice cream, no matter how much Chi scrunches her face at the notion.

With Chi back in Iwaizumi's body, however, Yui's having a hard time steering her thoughts away from imagining how this would be with the real Iwaizumi. She'd do her best to keep him laughing, and make sure he enjoyed himself, while she'd silently watch her internal fireworks each time he smiled. She knows he's got have a cute smile, even if she hasn't seen it quite yet.

God, she's so  _ridiculous_. What, she's talked to the boy once and she's already trying out the letters of Iwaizumi Yui? She's a grown woman, for pete's sake! She shouldn't be having crushes like a blushing human high school girl!

This is worse than that one time she'd thought Kamasaki was cute when she first met him.

"You know, Yui," Chi begins, pulling Yui away from her rather incriminating thoughts. "I had always assumed you fancied yourself Kamasaki's lover. I had ceased efforts for the same position with regards to that assumption."

Chi places Iwaizumi's face against a fist before turning to her.

"Was I wrong?"

Yui blinks once, twice, three times, and even then it still doesn't quite sink in.

"You—! I—! Oh my gosh— I thought  _you_  liked him! And I thought that since you were so pretty, he'd go for  _you_  and I just gave up!"

It's Chi's turn to blink a million times. Then, with Iwaizumi's throaty chuckle, she starts laughing.

"Y-you mean to tell me," she starts, and wraps Iwaizumi's strong arm around his stomach, "that Kamasaki Yasushi had  _two_  beautiful women pining over him and he ends up with  _neither_  of them."

That's... actually funny. Hilarious even. Yui revisits her earlier laughing fit. She's feels a little nice on the inside with Chi calling her beautiful, and the laughter mixes in with that feeling to form something giddy in her.

Which she probably should've held onto with the peaceful silence instead of saying, "I can't believe you went from Kamasaki to Futakuchi."

Chi scowls, an expression which fits perfectly on Iwaizumi's face, albeit still a little soft around the edges.

"There are times I wanted to wring his scrawny neck right from his body," says the scowl. "And then there were times where I just really, truly wanted nothing more than to kiss him."

Oh shit, Yui's heart just skipped a beat.

" _Chi_! Don't say embarrassing things like that!"

Chi gives her a flat look. "Says the woman who had a crush on Kamasaki of all people."

"Oh you— _you_  had a crush on him too you know!"

Chi absentmindedly sips one of the smoothies they'd ordered.

"He has nice arms."

Yui grabs the other smoothie and sucks profusely after saying, "He does, doesn't he?"

* * *

Koutarou would punch a baby if it would make it right for him to spill about his tengu adventure.

Ok, maybe not punch  _punch_  a baby because, hello, it's  _a baby_. He's not  _heartless_. However, the notion is dangerously close to what he would do just to tell anyone about his super awesome mountain detour. Hell, he wouldn't even care who he told, just that he would tell someone already!

Yet, he can't do that, because 1) he doesn't want to put the tengu in any danger with even more people knowing where their home is, and 2) whoever he did tell would think he was crazy.

_But Koutarou_ , goes a traitorous part in his mind,  _if they think you're crazy, doesn't that mean they won't believe the story anyway? It's a win-win situation_!

While Koutarou wishes against wishing for that ideal situation, he also doesn't want people walking on even more eggshells around him ever since what they've dubbed as The Mountain Incidenttm. Yes, it even has its own trademark! Aren't they all being so absurd?

He just used the word absurd in his mind right now. Dammit, his nervous tick of using big words to dodge situations is making an appearance. This cannot possibly end well.

"Jissan, you're really starting to creep me out." Yumeko, his stupidly cute niece with the curly pigtails, is not helping.

" _Yumeko-chan_ , don't be  _mean_  to me," he groans, thrown down haphazardly somewhere between the TV and the coffee table. There's really no real reason he's sprawled out on the floor. He just feels he'll have the least opportunity to do damage if his mutterings are nowhere anyone can hear, and the floor was his best bet.

Yumeko's socks appear in his vision, and he avoids looking up at her.

"Why are you on the floor anyway? Aren't you supposed to be pretending to take care of us?"

"I'm not pretending!" he protests, even as he strives to sink lower into the floor and avoid all the traitorous thoughts jumping to the forefront of his mind. He could tell the story to Yumeko, but she wouldn't believe him, and that would ruin the fun of regaling his grand adventure.

He just used the word regaling. Dammit.

Stifling out all the frustrated noises he's making with a pillow he'd taken down with him, Koutarou shoots up suddenly. Yumeko doesn't even blink.

"Yumeko," he begins, concentrating all his willpower on choosing his words carefully.

"Ah huh?"

"Ok, so, imagine this really super cool thing happened to you."

"Ok."

"But you can't tell anyone because—! They won't, uh... believe you! Yeah, they won't believe you because it was so cool that it's almost unreal! They might even say you're discombobulating them on purpose or you're insane or something!"

"Discombaba what?"

"The point is, you can't tell anyone what happened! But it was just so cool and breathtaking and enthralling and just—!  _Amazing_... but I can't regal anyone."

Koutarou slumps. Yumeko dodges his body and watches as he sinks to the floor, wreathing with sounds of his own disgruntlement. She taps her foot just like his sister does, and crosses her arms.

"Well, I'm not really sure what the problem is, but if I had an... enthralling tale? I think that's what you called— I would maybe tell it to a bunch of kids?"

It takes a moment for the suggestion to settle in his mind, and, when it does, he shoots up again, peering at the little girl in front of him like she's given him the key to the universe.

"I mean," she continues, unaware of the Rays Of Awe being shined her way, "as long as it isn't anything ridiculous like how Umetarou-nichan is always trying to convince as he's the author of 'Let's Love', I think it's fine— _eep_!"

Koutarou is spinning the girl high up in the air like he's been reunited with his long lost lover.

"You're a  _genius_! Oh my god! How are we even related?!"

"You have your smart moments, too, Jissan— _ew_ , don't  _kiss_  me!"

"I love you, Yumeko-chan!"

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

Damage control is a task Hajime has become accustomed to heaping on his plate. He's got an abundance of experience under his belt from multiple problem children (read: Kuroo ' _But I was only trying to be nice!_ ' Tetsurou, The  _'how much damage can we do in the least amount of time_ ' Meme Team, or even the latest addition, Oikawa  _'I work at a host club during questionable times of the day and require many questionable things to keep up my image, Iwa-chan!_ ' Tooru.)

Basically, he's supposed to be used to this. However, pretentious and timeless fox demon dressed up as him is a true try to his patience, no matter his experience levels.

"And then?" he asks, his hands finding his face where they may reside permanently if this story gets any more outrageous. He should have never thought Shiro could be trusted with normal human interactions.

"Then—right after the scoundrel Takano ordered me to take an early leave— while I was happily mulling over the details of his bloody demise by my hands, I walked to the human dumbwaiter—"

"It's called an elevator."

"—the human elevator, I repeatedly press the button contraption jetting from the wall, to alert the foolish humans I wish to ride their dumbwaiter—"

"Elevator."

"—and  _then_ , to my pure and utter  _delight_ , the door opens and I'm welcomed to the sight of the bastard Takano  _snogging_  the intern."

Shiro actually sighs happily at this. It looks weird on his face.

"The look on his face almost quelled the thirst for his blood running through my veins."

Yup, his hands are permanently going to be stuck to his face in an endless facepalm.

"Did anything  _else_  happen that I should be aware of?" he asks again despite  _everything_. It's not like he can take any more of this, but he has to know how much more havoc Shiro has reaped in this day — it had only been a  _day_ — she has taken over for him, even if he really doesn't want the knowledge.

Shiro gains a sort of pleased yet exasperated look on the features of his face.

"He agreed to forget today as long as I spoke no words of what transpired in the dumbwaiter. A pity really."

"Elevator," Hajime corrects automatically. That's one positive of this entire absurd tale Shiro has spun. He's also glad she hadn't romanced Kindaichi or something. He honestly wouldn't put it past her after all that happened.

" _And_ ," she continues, holding up a finger as the pleased part of the expression overrides the exasperated side, "he left me with a final message for you."

Oh god. Could Takano possibly make it worse?

"'Next time, tell Iwaizumi to call in sick and not let his fucking youkai fling to take over for him'" she says, and her image and body finally sort of melt back into the Shiro he's really starting to hate. The close eyed smile on her face now fits perfectly. "End quote."

Hajime doesn't think he can remove his hands from their endless facepalm even if he tried.

"I'd much rather be 'mythical mistress' but I suppose either way I still get be your lover," she articulates, like that single line is somehow going to win her enough brownie points to reestablish herself a place back in his good graces.

Jokes on her, she never had a place in them to begin with.

"Ok." Hajime slides his hand away from his face until they meet in a prayer-like gesture. Maybe he should be praying. Maybe only the pity of some higher power will salvage his life. Yes, his entire life. This has ruined his entire life. "Ok."

"Give me a time and place and I will happily dispose of the scoundrel Takano for you," she proposes, and Hajime wishes there were at least some sort of hesitation in her voice or face when she had said that, but there is none.

"That." He points at her with his folded hands. "We're not doing that. You're not allowed to kill Takano-san."

Is his mind playing tricks on him or is she  _pouting_?

" _Hajime_." Oh god, she  _is_. It's worse than Oikawa's eternal whining by fifty percent. "He  _upset_  me. Allow me the mercy of feeling his blood on my hands."

That last statement should not be said while whining. Hajime realizes he's getting absolutely nowhere like this, and any promises he forces out of her will be easily overlooked if she ever gets an opportunity. He sighs.

"Kuroo."

Predictably, there is no answer. Hajime didn't want him to find out like this either. Or really, to never find out about the truth of his job. But Shiro had ruined that too. More places for her on his shitlist.

"Kuroo, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I worked in shoujo manga."

There's a faraway strangled, " _fiend!_ " accompanied by a loud meow that somehow sounds like a parrot of the word.

"I could really use your help here," Hajime tries, searching for something to appeal to his friend and dangle it in front of him like a forbidden fruit. "I was going to tell you eventually—"

The sliding door abruptly opens. Kuroo stands imposingly with his arm crossed and a Just As Threatening Miko standing in his hair.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you had this job?"

Hajime finds a particularly interesting spot on the opposite side of the wall to stare it. Which is ruined because Shiro is in his sight and he doesn't really want to look at her either.

"...does it matter?" he grumbles. Is this what his friends feel like when he's the one doing damage control? Hajime can't in good conscience say he likes being in this position, not even a little bit.

"Yes."

Maybe if he stares hard enough, the wall will take pity on him and handle the situation itself. Shiro continues to smile like this isn't her fault at all and this somehow doesn't concern her.

"...two years."

" _Two years?!_ " Wow, that's what Hajime sounds like when he's yelling? He hates the position he's in even more. "You were hiding this from me for  _two years_?!"

"I didn't want—" the excuse he's about to say sounds horrible in his head, and yet he has no other words but it. "I didn't want... Hanamaki or Matsukawa to find out, and use it for a YouTube video or something."

"Oh so you didn't tell  _me_?" Kuroo demands, with a sort of offended tone Hajime usually uses himself. Man has this experience has been otherworldly. "Wait, who else knows?"

"No one."

"He's lying." Hajime immediately levels an exasperated sort of glare on Shiro. She continues to smile despite everything. "His heartbeat quickened. I could hear it."

He's now with Kuroo on the Make Shiro Write A List On Everything She Can Do Before It Bites Them In The Ass Like It Already Has Team. A long name for a team, but all very necessary.

Before Kuroo can comment, Hajime sighs heavily and reluctantly admits, "Suga. And Yaku..." he adds the last name very quietly, "...and Bokuto."

"You told  _Bokuto_  but didn't tell  _me_?!"

"Guy knows how to keep a secret, ok!" Hajime snaps, and that just makes Kuroo even more upset.

"I can totally keep a secret!"

"Kaori-sensei."

"T-that was an accident!"

"Hanamaki still sends me links of teacher-student romance novels."

"That's not my fault so I'm still mad!" Kuroo puffs up like a rooster or something in an attempt to keep up his affronted appearance.

"Iwaizumi, you're a butthead."

Hajime gives him a look so flat Kuroo flinches. He turns to Shiro.

"Shiro, you're not allowed to kill Takano-san or hurt him in any shape or form."

"Boo."

"Iwaizumi, I'm still mad."

"I don't care."

"And—since we're all here even though I was waiting until later—I'm going to the Divine Assembly thing."

Seeing Shiro's comically astonished face is almost enough of a price to outweigh the entire day's expanses. Just almost.

"I..." she hesitates. Hajime is struggling rather difficultly trying to stay mad at her. "I would rather not go."

And then Kuroo hesitates, and really, Hajime is left rather awkwardly between the two.

"I really want to go," Kuroo insists, and Shiro smiles in a sad sort of way.

"You misunderstand me, Tetsurou," she says, and Hajime is  _really_  getting uncomfortable here, " _I_  don't wish to go. You may do as you please."

Nobody says anything after that. Kuroo scratches his head, except Miko is in there and swats at his hand. He yanks it back immediately with a grimace on his face.

"Ok," he concedes, with a sort of reluctant yet guilty tone. "Guess I'll just go with Oikawa."

"Forgive me, Tetsurou."

Kuroo becomes sort of stunned at that. Hajime is racking his brain for a way to rectify the atmosphere to its previous more cheerful charge. He comes up so short, he immediately jumps to the last embarrassing thing he'd revealed with his only thought being  _For Kuroo_.

"Kaori-sensei was the teacher I had a crush on in elementary school."

Instantly, Kuroo gapes. Shiro blinks rapidly before a grin worthy of a fox stretches her mouth.

"Oh? Does that mean your taste falls with older women, Hajime? Perhaps I stand more of chance than I had originally believed!"

"I cannot believe," Kuroo starts with the sort of disbelief worthy of an actor. "That you just. Told  _Shiro_. After just now— but a  _moment_  ago—you were giving  _me_  a hard time for telling Mattsun and Makki."

"I wish to hear the complete rendition of this tale," Shiro implores with a happy lit.

Hajime is just glad Kuroo isn't sad anymore.

* * *

"Hey, Kenjirou-kun! What'sss up?"

Kenjirou pins the red snake a glare before it even tries crawl up his arm. Tendou does anyway, and, after attempts of flinging the red nuisance away prove futile, Kenjirou leaves him there with an angry huff.

"What do you want," Kenjirou demands, setting down the clear vial he's been holding in his hand. He doesn't want Tendou to accidentally (or purposely) flick it and get magic goo all over the carpet.

"Oh, nothing really," he says in a tone that does not at all indicate something insignificant. Kenjirou wishes he'd gone with his Plan A of ignoring him. " _Jussst_ popped in wondering how the quessst with Taichi-kun went?"

Kenjirou pauses, a furl to his brow and the question of 'what quest?' on his tongue. However, he does not voice the inquiry, because that would be exactly what Tendou would want and you do not give a snake a robin's egg in hopes it won't bite you.

And that brief, passive aggressive pause is enough for a whole bunch of other inquires to jump to the forefront of Kenjirou's mind. The biggest them being what exactly Taichi is doing lying to Tendou of all people.

"What are you talking about?" asks Kenjirou begrudgingly, and, while that question is cut from the same cloth as 'what quest?', the connotation are hopefully different enough not to rouse suspicion.

"Oh, you know," Tendou's forked tongue slithers out as he wraps a bit tighter around Kenjirou's forearm, "that big bad quest he had to hurry back for because Kennny Ken asked him for help."

What is Taichi even doing? Was this revenge or something for not hugging him back? The bastard knows Kenjirou's not good with those types of things. Maybe Kenjirou should out him if that's the case. But then he'd be on Team Tendou, and those scales are really starting to agitate him. They're smoother than what Tendou usually goes for, kind of like a weird leather bracelet around his wrist, but Kenjirou could care less about this weird sort of consideration Tendou is showing, especially not when Kenjirou had clearly indicated he did not want a snake wrapped around his wrist—

_The fucking lizard is checking my pulse._

With that realization, Kenjirou vehemently shows just which team he's on (Team Refuses To Give Tendou Satori The Time Of Day, of course). Pulling out his wand, he points it as Tendou's stupid snake nose and bites out, " _Chill_."

Tendou make a sort of shrill noise specific only to a five year old girl getting a slimy slug put on her shoulder.

" _Cold cold cold cold cold_ —" Tendou, now a six foot man with outrageous red hair, sort of runs around in circles like a headless chicken just when Ushjima walks into the guild lobby with a confused look.

"What is going on here?"

Tendou immediately jumps on him. He looks absolutely ridiculous with how his arms and legs are wrapped around Ushjima like a child greeting their father coming back from work. His attitude doesn't help hinder the image.

" _Hold me like daddy does_ ," he exaggerates. Kenjirou smirks when Ushijima encloses the hug from the other side and honest to goodness flexes.

"Ow, ow, Wakatoshi-kun! Timeout!  _Timeout!_ "

"Forgive me. I'm unsure how tight your father holds you."

"It's just an expression, Wakatoshi-kun! Man, you're such a  _dope_  sometimes, ya know?"

Kenjirou leaves that mess rather quickly.

Heading up to his room, he mules over his next move. He should probably find out what Taichi is doing. Something sits uncomfortable in his stomach at the thought of Taichi lying to the guild about his whereabouts. Taichi has lied saying he'd gone on a quest with him, so Taichi must trust him enough to know Kenjirou will cover for him, but why couldn't he tell Kenjirou the truth beforehand? What was keeping him from doing so? Why would he lie?

Kenjirou bites the inside of his cheek. He should have some Dream Soot left, shouldn't be?

He strolls stiffly to the cupboard beside his bedpost. Hinging open the drawer, he grasps a small amethyst vile tucked neatly at the corner of the wood. He holds it up and shakes it between his fingers. There's about a third of the powder left. The testament the nearly empty vile connotes pisses him off. He uses this  _way_  more than he should. He isn't supposed to be this much of a worrywart. It's  _stupid_.

Even with that thought badgering him however, he still unplugs the vile and sprinkles some dust over his head. He barely has time to recap it and shut the drawer before he's passing out on the bed.

His Dream World is a field of endless grass this time around. There are no demons roaming around like they own the place, even if this is the one time Kenjirou wished there was. He walks around a bit and the grass tickles his bare feet. He can feel the Dream Worlds of the people around him, of all the people in the district actually, and tries not to get caught up in the swirls of unconscious, unadulterated emotions. He empties his mind, and extends himself and his world out, pouring into more and more Dream Worlds in search of the one stupid demon he sometimes admits is his friend.

Kenjirou stretches out rather far, and he gets a bit worried when he still doesn't find Taichi. His search coming up futile can mean two things. Either Taichi had gone home, where the livings ' Dream Worlds cannot follow, or he's too far out, where even Kenjirou's vast Dream World cannot reach.

He doesn't like either explanation.

_Stupid demon._

"Hello, little mage."

Kenjirou snaps back into his own mind so fast, the whiplash wilts the grass under his feet barren.

There's a broad man with hair red as blood and eyes green as jewels Kenjirou does not know at the edge of the desolate horizon. A grin both charismatic and deadly rests on his scared face as he eyes Kenjirou like a buyer assessing a particularly exquisite artifact.

"Who the hell are you?" is the intimidation tactic Kenjirou goes for, despite the unsettling swirl of nerves settling uncomfortable in his stomach. Having Taichi break in here in one thing, but having an unknown being do so screams danger.

"Oh me?" Somehow, in spite of the somewhat broken Japanese and the lingering accent, the man still manages to portray a sort of charisma Kenjirou usually attributes only to Ushijima. It's offsetting, the way it becks and calls to him to just place his trust in this strange man, even when trusting the invading man is the last thing he should be thinking about. Not only because the red haired man with the scarred face and the green eyes has just invaded his Dream World, but also because the aura surrounding the knife of his smile is off-putting , and, dare he say,  _familiar_  in an unsettling way that is nothing short of dangerous.

"I'm just some god here to give his gratitude to a mage," he says, and Kenjirou does not like the sound of that at all, "because if it wasn't for your oh so inviting Dream, I would have never been able to leave the mountains."

The red haired man vanishes and all of a sudden, there's a skin-crawling whisper at his ear

"I'm so grateful, young mage, but, you know, I wouldn't mind even  _more_  of a helping hand."

There are rough fingers around his neck before Kenjirou can do anything, and he's lifted from the ground as the man with the knife of a grin chokes him.

Kenjirou scrambles to yank the hand from his throat. He kicks the man several times and wreaths like a snake trying to escape the grip. The terrain is changing ballistically, going from barren to grass to weeds to sand. Kenjirou knows panicking isn't going to help, but it's hard to convince himself when  _he's fucking choking_.

Kenjirou introduces an especially rough kick to the bastard god's side, and the grip loosens a bit. His red hair falls away from his face as he stares at Kenjirou peculiarly.

"You don't remember me, do you?" he asks, and Kenjirou answers that by digging his nails in the flesh of the man's hand. The bastard doesn't even flinch. "To be honest, I'm a little hurt."

" _Fuck you, you shithead_ ," Kenjirou bites out, even though he should really be saving his limited oxygen supply. He's still clawing at the hand and he's also started kicking again, but that shouldn't mean he's safe to start cussing out the god who's choking him.

Probably.

"Well, I'd hate to kill you in your ignorance," the man taps a finger against his temple in a thoughtful look. Kenjirou fails to kick his face. The grin is back immediately. "Maybe this will jog your memory."

A ring of black fog surrounds them. It has a curling, smoke like attribute to it.

Instantly, it all clicks. Instantly, the sand beneath their feet is drowned in a red sea. Instantly, Kenjirou feels a war drum in his chest.

" _You_ —"

"Yes,  _me_ ," the man with the scarred face and the evil grin pulls him close, and Kenjirou squirms furiously to  _get away get away get away_ , "You were  _so close_  to thwarting my plans,  _so close_  to insuring I could never stand a chance in this world,  _so very close_ to turning my entire existence into  _nothing_."

The grin is so wide it stretches the scars horrifyingly. The emerald eyes gleam with pure morbid delight. The man could not look more like a feral animal.

"But you made a  _mistake_ , and now you're paying for it."

The man's other hand wraps around his neck and he wrings his fingers together. Kenjirou struggles desperately, hopelessly. His head spins, and his lungs ache, and his brain screams for  _air air air_. His vision is tunneled. All he can do it fight and scrape and kick and wreath and squirm for a life he so desperately wants.

He doesn't want it to end like this. He hasn't been a good enough friend to Taichi yet. He hasn't impressed Ushijima using his magical prowess yet. He hasn't shoved Goshiki out of his weird rebellious stage yet. He hasn't gotten back at Tendou over his earlier assholery yet. He hasn't thanked Yamagata for the bread he always buys Kenjirou yet.

He hasn't found  _Kenma_  yet, and he hasn't fixed his mistakes yet either.

Someone barrels into shitty god man.

The force is enough to knock Kenjirou out of his grasp, causing him to fall into the waters below. Kenjirou thinks it's a rather stupid for him to get out of the chokehold only for him to drown to death. But the pressure on his lungs disappears when someone grabs his wrist, and Kenjirou finds himself shooting up from where he'd passed out on his bed.

He gasps and gulps for air as he frantically touches his neck. There are areas where his presses hurt and spike pain alarms, but the reassure of nothing blocking his airways is enough to send waves of relief coursing through him.

A rough grunt of  _shi_ ' brings his gaze down to his new bunkmate. Futakuchi Kenji sits up abruptly, and gingerly holds his own arm. Kenjirou doesn't think it should be bent like that, and he also has no idea how the shaman got in here.

"I think the bastard broke my arm," he grumbles, a wince pulling the feature of his face as he pokes the willowy arm. "Jokes on him though. The pain woke me up."

"What—" a racking cough cuts Kenjirou off, and it hurts his throat even more. When he finally settles down, he feels even more horrible than he had been feeling while choking. Massaging his throat doesn't do much to help. "What are you... how... did you... get in here?"

"I kinda just walked in— _ow_." Futakuchi pokes his broken arm again, and Kenjirou would glare at him if he had the strength to do so. He isn't an expert on broken limbs, but he's pretty sure poking them isn't a type of treatment.

He doesn't even get to think on why Futakuchi is here or how he's here. Once he remembers that he just almost  _died_ , any other thoughts are completely forgotten.

Shirabu Kenjirou would have died and nothing could have stopped it. He would have perished without even a moment to spare, and he would have no say in it. He wouldn't have been able fix any of the things he'd left unresolved. They would have all been abandoned to the winds because Shirabu Kenjirou would cease to exist. He would have died, without accomplishing anything, just because he was being somewhat of an ass to himself, and to those around him.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, smothered out by all the overwhelming negative thoughts taken ahold of himself, he sort of wishes Taichi would come and force another hug on him right about now.

* * *

"I really,  _really_  appreciate this, Kou. You don't know how much this helps— oh no, not again. Can you just give me one sec—Shiho-chan! Would you  _please_  stop terrorizing Yuuta for five seconds?"

"But, sensei! He  _deserves_  it!"

Koushi runs a hand through his hair and gives a thought on how he's going to go about this without unleashing another performance of six year old Shiho's tragic backstory. The solution he comes to has the risky side effect of sugar involved, but Koushi isn't sure what else to do to give poor Yuuta a break.

"Will you stop if I give you a cookie?"

"Of course!"

Koushi huffs in exasperation. He levels a flat look at Kou, who's suddenly looking suspiciously uninvolved in the kindergarten going-alongs compared to his previous passionate involvement just mere moments ago.

"This is your fault, you know that?"

"What—I had absolutely nothing to do with this!"

"You're the one who told her to take initiative."

"I-I didn't know she was going to be  _mean_  about it!"

Koushi sighs again. He grabs a cookie and hands it to the gold digging kindergartener before shooing both her and her victim towards the toy stations. Opposite toy stations. After giving one more once over to make sure there are no other unseemly skirmishes, he turns back to Kou.

"As I was saying, I'm really thankful you're doing this. The kids really liked your tengu story." Koushi chuckles a bit after remembering all the dramatic hand gestures that went into the telling of the mountain tengu tale. He punches Kou in the arm. "Hell, even I really liked it! Didn't know you had in you to make all that up. I kind of wish this Akaashi fellow was real so I could maybe punch him or tell him to lighten up or something like that."

Kou laughs boisterously, and there's a weirdly nervous edge to it Koushi becomes confused with. Kou punches his arm in return, and wow, those biceps are not just for show. Koushi rubs his arm and hopes it doesn't bruise or something.

"Y-yeah, me too! Akaashi's a real chore. Had to make someone the antagonist in the story, ya know? Hey, I think that kid over there needs assistance building that castle, so I'm just going to slide over there real swift and give him a helping hand. Capiche?"

_Assistance_? Koushi thinks, as Kou swaddles over to help a boy with a Lego castle.  _Swift?_ Koushi mules, as Kou dramatically stacks legos together as the boy states in awe.  _Capiche?_  Koushi recalls, as his mind goes from Show Kou Gratitude completely into Find Out What Kou Is Hiding.

He scans the kids again, a battle plan forming in his mind, and waits patiently with a smile he hopes is angelic and not marred by any glee or evilness he feels on the inside. Kou flits from station to station, each time leaving behind kindergarteners with a little more enthusiasm and drive. Koushi's grateful, he really is, but nap time isn't long off, and Koushi's starting to get a little worried these little buggers will still be on their Bokuto Koutarou high by then.

Fifteen minutes later, at the opening act of the dreaded Nap Time Hour, Koushi plants his first seed.

"Hey, Shiho-chan," he begins innocently as he helps roll out the little girl's futon. He catches her eyes, and he really hopes his own aren't twinkling evilly.

He cups a hand around his mouth and whispers dramatically, "I hear Bokuto-san has a  _secret_."

Koushi reaps his answer in the next seven minutes, but it isn't anything he'd anticipated at all.

Kou gets dog-piled by children chanting " _Secret! Secret! Secret!_ " within seconds and spends an impressive six minutes just shouting out random big words like "Resplendent! Balderdash! Chlamydia!" It's into the beginning of the seventh minute does he blurt out, "I'm worried about Kuroo!"

Koushi laments this new information while Kou explains to the little brats who Kuroo is. When the the word 'friend' gets thrown in the mix, the secret suddenly disinterests Shiho, and the rest of them disperse accordingly. Koushi rounds them all up and sets them each to the correct futon. They're out pretty quickly, much to Koushi's relief, and now he can finally confront Kou.

"So, Kou—"

"I'm super worried about Kuroo because he likes this girl but I don't think she likes him back and this year Kenma's gonna be officially declared dead and we haven't all been together since forever and I don't think Kuroo can take in all that at once, " says Kou in exactly one breath. Koushi's impressed, but it falls short in comparison to the overwhelming pressure caused by the fundamental truths laced in Kou's words.

This  _is_  the last year they can pretend their gang isn't one member short. No, there's an even dustier skeleton hidden in that closet. It's not that they just haven't all met up since forever. They all haven't met up since Kenma. As if... as if they could run away from the fact that he's gone. But now, this year, they can't do that anymore, because it's all going to be thrown in their faces that Kenma might as well be dead, and the least they could do is attend his funeral.

"You're right, Kou..." Gears clink and turn in Koushi's mind, powered by the sadness of it all and the desire to burn it away. "We need to do something. All of us. Not just Kuroo. We need to meet up before... before the funeral."

He says it, but it's Kou with the ugly sobs dangling precariously on his cheeks.

* * *

"I'm still not convinced you should go to this god party," declares Iwaizumi for the nth time. Tetsurou is still undeterred. "And I don't think it's safe for you to go, especially since Shiro's not going, and especially because Terushima  _is_  going."

"Come on, Iwa-chan, lighten up," tries Tetsurou, ignoring the feint, badly timed crash and yowl behind him, followed by an 'I'm a-ok!' from Teru the menace. "Oikawa's coming. That has to give you some insurance, right?"

There's another crash, a yelp from Yin, and a loud obnoxious guffaw from the only person whose obnoxious enough to emit it (read: Oikawa Tooru). Tetsurou honestly has no idea what they're even breaking. There's nothing but grass, trees, and an old Japanese carriage at his back. Certainly nothing breakable.

Iwaizumi pinches the bridge of his nose. "Yeah,  _no_. Oikawa going is like giving sugar to whatever demon baby this disaster is going to birth."

"How rude, Hajime." Tetsurou immediately perks up. Shiro pads over and settles poised next to Iwaizumi by the door, hands tugged in her flowy sleeves. "Surely two gods and a swan maiden have the capability not to devolve into children in each other's presence?"

It takes a moment where Oikawa squawks, " _Shiro-chan_!" for it to click. Iwaizumi is still stuck confusedly mouthing the words while Tetsurou bursts out laughing.

"Wait, wait, you're a  _swan maiden_?" Terushima sputters, leaning out of the side of the carriage and gawking at Oikawa in a new light. Oikawa, the main actor in this new reveal, is currently bemoaning Shiro's betrayal on the ground with a hand dramatically draped across his forehead and a whimpering, comforting Yin beneath his head. "I thought you were a selkie, dude!  _Now_  I know why you're so hot!"

Whatever traces of petty revenge Oikawa may have been harboring immediately vanish. He straightens abruptly, supporting hands on the grass behind him, and grins wickedly at Terushima.

"You think I'm  _what_ , Shima-chin? I'm not sure I caught that."

Terushima instantly realizes his mistake.

"Nope. Not happening. I said nothing. Go away."

"But, Shima-chin—"

While those two problem children are occupied settling whatever  _that_  is, Tetsurou reaches the last of his chuckles.

"So, Shiro," Tetsurou scratches his nose but still manages to cock a smirk to his mouth, "you gonna miss me?"

"You're leaving for like five days," Hajime dully notes, very unhelpful to Tetsurou's new confidence. "She's not even going to notice you're gone."

"I feel as if you are especially critical today, Hajime. Perhaps you are more worried for Tetsurou than you make yourself out to be?" Shiro comments. Tetsurou's shoulders droop as the conversation turns says from initial question because  _someone_  does not know the first thing about being a wingman.

"I just don't get why we're suddenly buddy buddy with  _that_." Iwaizumi's finger points to the spectacle that is Yin sitting down on Terushima while Oikawa taunts away something with a rather devious expression.

"We are not 'buddy buddy' with Yuuji," confirms Shiro, her nose turning up in distaste at the name. "This has nothing to  _do_  with Yuuji, Hajime. This is solely Tetsurou committing to his godly duties because  _he_  wishes to. In any case, it is not as if Yuuji is capable of much damage besides tongue defilement."

Tetsurou and Iwaizumi respectfully to not comment on the last bit.

Iwaizumi sighs, rubbing the back of his neck as his brow crunches. "I guess you're right." And yet another crash erupts from near the carriage area. Iwaizumi huffs again. "I'm going to knock some sense into those idiots before they get themselves killed."

Iwaizumi trots over to the Idiot Area, and Tetsurou is left alone with Shiro. Tetsurou gets the wildest fundamental notion that Iwaizumi may be actually doing his bro duties right for once, but he isn't too quick to believe it.

"Is there something you would like to say Tetsurou or are you going to continue dillydallying until Tooru comes over here to pout you away?" Shiro asks coolly, eyes level with Tetsurou's. However, this time around there isn't any coldness in them.

Despite himself, Tetsurou chuckles breathlessly. "Yeah, yeah. I'm going, really." He readjusts his backpack straps and pivots towards the Idiot Area. "You know, for the record, even though I'm only going to be gone for a few days, I'm still going to miss you, you know—"

A tight grip catches his wrist. Tetsurou's heartbeat skips just a bit faster, and he hopes Shiro can't feel it thumping against her fingertips. He turns back to her, a lazy grin across his face, and an even cockier, "See, I  _knew_  you were going to miss me—" that's dies on his lips when he glimpses her face.

The fingers snagged around his wrist are not playfully regretful, nor is the almost wild panic flickering in the fire of her eyes lit by mock defeat. Both of those powerful emotions are the real deal here, and it takes Tetsurou a moment too long to realize why.

Shiro asks him first.

"You... will return, Tetsurou?"

" _Of_   _course,"_  he will. Kuroo Tetsurou will not be the one to break her heart a second time by not returning.

"I promise."

* * *

"I am unsure."

Eita's jaw drops. Kenjirou looks like he's just been slapped in the face. Even  _Satori_  is gawking, though it appears less like his usual Kid In Candy Store surprised and more like Kid In Candy Store Who Just Bit Into Black Liquorice appalled.

"W…Wakatoshi-kun?!" Satori shrinks into a scaly menace, slithering rapidly through the carpet of the Sainetto Society's lobby until he reaches Wakatoshi's chair. He twists up and then continues to spiral until he's covered the full length of Wakatoshi's arm. "Are you ok?! Do you have a fever? You're not allowed to die on me just yet! You still haven't given me back the manga you borrowed, you jerk!"

Wakatoshi sighs, an irritated huff laced in his words. "I am fine, Tendou.  _You_  gave me that book of your own accord. You may take it back anytime you wish."

Satori sticks his tongue out at Wakatoshi. His dramatics, however, have given the time for both Eita and Kenjirou to recover from the shock of Ushijima Wakatoshi hesitating, though Eita still isn't sure what to do. Should he encourage Wakatoshi, and reaffirm his belief in their plan to end this, or should he take this sign of their pillar crumbling to rethink himself?

"Ushijima-san," Kenjirou, apparently, has other ideas, "if this is because," Kenjirou grinds his teeth, a sort of seething agitation to the notion "if this because I got hurt—"

"Yes."

"It was my own damn fault, I was being  _reckless_. You don't have to—"

"It isn't the first time."

The silence takes them as the elephant in the room trumpets.

It isn't as if they are all ignoring or pretending what happened so many nights ago with Kenma was just a dream. They do still feel echoes of that night in their missing comrades, and the tighter atmospheres. However, they've been dealing with it rather unorthodoxly. They were out to destroy pieces of a game they all assumed hadn't been set up yet, when really, they were all being moved around like pawns, regardless of their good intentions.

Maybe Wakatoshi has a point in his hesitation. If they are to checkmate this board any time soon, they need to change the way they approach this.

"I think Wakatoshi has a point," Eita finally concedes, and Kenjirou rears on him.

"Semi-san—"

"We can't deal with  _this_  like  _this_  anymore, Kenjirou!"

"I'm fine—"

"This isn't just about you! It isn't like you were the first one to get hurt!"

Eita doesn't realize he'd stood up, wings fanned to either side, every tip of his feathers poised. He folds back in on himself, and sits back down to calm his breathing. Kenjirou is even worse for wear. The ugly imprints against his neck make the expression of bitter anger across his face worse, and his knuckles have gone white. Eita can practically feel Kenjirou's need to protest the fact Eita hadn't meant to bring up, but Kenjirou knows more than anyone the truth, the horrible, ugly truth.

"It's final," There are no protests this time when Wakatoshi speaks. Satori seems to curl tighter around his arm. Wakatoshi doesn't waver. "We place our last bet on the Divine Assembly, and, if it fails, just as everything else has failed, we ask for help."

Everyone in the room knows exactly who they'll be asking for help. Eita just hopes it doesn't prove to be the wild card to kill them all.

* * *

Chaos, Tetsurou had expected. Utter pandemonium, well, he probably  _should_  have expected it. What else would happen if you stuck a bunch of gods and familiars in a room and told them to wait?

He'd been impressed when he'd first walked into the banquet hall. Infinite columns of tatami mats covered the floor, and rows upon rows of cushioned roundtables everywhere. The ginormous hall is open on both sides, but the shoots of bamboo trees sprouting out of the surrounding the area look like makeshift sliding doors anyway. At the end of the hall stood a massive throne, simple in nature, but luxurious none the less.

And, of course, there were the gods.

Apparently, someone, who Tetsurou isn't sure to call a madman or a genius, had the great idea of placing a bottle of sake and drinking cups on each table. There were already drunks. Tetsurou, again, isn't sure if that's a good or bad thing, but he supposes the more powerful beings out of commission, the less damage in the long run. Tetsurou has already been the subject of way too many curious gods, and he really wishes a familiar face were to swoop in and save some face for the newbie human god. Hell, he'd be fine with Terushima's familiar who he barely knows, but that cow-eared jerk had gone to sleep the moment they'd found two adjacent empty spaces, and still hasn't woken up despite the blaring chaos.

Tetsurou is impressed, and extremely jealous.

(He really wishes Shiro was here.)

"Hey look! New meat!"

Tetsurou lets out a tiny, quiet sigh, and then dazzles whichever upcoming god coming to intimidate the newbie with a terrifyingly disarming smile.

"I see my reputation precedes me," Tetsurou states. The new god doesn't even falter at this. In fact, he appears even more delighted. He saddles up next to Tetsurou after snagging a cup of sake, and leans on his other hand with a happy lit to his sigh.

"I like him already. What do you think, Osamu?"

Tetsurou startles as an almost identical voice on the other side of him, which had not been there before, says, "He looks smart."

Tetsurou spins, and is met with an exact replica of New God #1, with the exception of a darker tinge to his hair in contrast to New God #1's blonde. Tetsurou resists the urge not to facepalm.

Great, there are two of them. Just what he needs. More opportunities and witnesses for him to embarrass himself.

"So, Land God," begins the original twin, swirling around the contents of his cup, "how are you liking Izumo?"

_Well if that_ sure _didn't seem like a loaded question,_ Tetsurou thinks bitterly. Where was Oikawa when he needed him? What even was the point of bringing him if he was going to ditch Tetsurou first chance he got?

"Atsumu." the other twin, Osamu, reaches over from behind Tetsurou and yanks his brother's hair, eliciting a loud yelp that hurt's Tetsurou's ears. "Stop."

"I wasn't even doing anything!"

"Sure you weren't."

"Hey." Tetsurou almost regrets interrupting when they both look at him at the same time. It's almost unsettlingly how much they look alike. "Do you know what we're waiting for?"

Atsumu grins, the beginning of what Tetsurou is sure is not an answer on his lips, when Osamu says, "The host of the summit. She's not here yet."

"' _Samu_ ," whines Atsumu, and Tetsurou has the weirdest premonition he's about to drape himself across his lap in a total Oikawa move. Thankfully, it's a false call. "You never let me have fun."

Osamu plucks the sake cup from Atsumu's hand and takes a sip. Then, before Atsumu can whine in total Oikawa fashion, he says, "Ask him about Kinoshita."

Atsumu's an immediate 'Kid In Candy Store' Poster Child at the suggestion.

He shoots up, cups two hands around his mouth, and calls, "Hisashi-kun! You have one minute to get over here before I tell everyone about the weather girl incident!"

Osamu actually pulls out a smartphone to seemingly time this. Tetsurou is more surprised at the fact he has a phone than anything else.

Seconds in, some blonde with wings comes flying across the banquet hall like his life depends on it. He crashes before them face first, right in front of Tetsurou's table. Atsumu immediately slices a hand through the air and cheerfully says, "Time!" and then Osamu says, "Thirty seven seconds."

"Wow, Hisashi-kun! That's a new record!"

Hisashi or Kinoshita or whatever the poor dude's name in is too busy heaving his lungs out to comment, but he does raise a weak thumbs up.

"Is he ok..?" Tetsurou asks, more out of obligation than anything else. He's more curious about this 'weather girl' story Kinoshita was so desperate to keep under wraps.

"I-I'm fine," gasps Kinoshita, in a totally not fine voice.

Atsumu turns to Tetsurou with a grin, "So, Human-kun—"

"It's Kuroo."

"—Kuroo-kun, then. What do you think Hisashi-kun is?"

Tetsurou pauses, a crunch to his brow, unsure what exactly he's being asked here. "You mean like, what type of youkai he is?"

There's a suspicious tense silence after he says this. Tetsurou knows he should've milked Oikawa for more god etiquette he should be following.

"Yeah," Atsumu finally says, his smile not as true as before, "Something like that."

Tetsurou doesn't see any harm in answering this since they asked. Hopefully he doesn't get proven horrible wrong or something. He studies Kinoshita for a moment, noting the whitish, grey wings sprouting from his back. He isn't sure if angels are a thing in this magical world, and if they were, he thinks that's the obvious answer here. The only other mythical beast he knows are tengu, but Shouyou's wings had been pure black, so...

In the end, he ends up with, "Albino tengu."

Atsumu bursts out laughing so fast he falls over. Even Osamu starts chuckling softly. Kinoshita just facepalms.

"Valkyrie, dammit!  _Valkyrie!_  Why does nobody ever get it right?! It's not that hard!"

Tetsurou has no idea what that is. He can't even pretend to be sorry.

"CAN NOBODY DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS AROUND HERE?!"

"Ah, there she is," Osamu comments, taking a larger sip from his sake as Tetsurou baffles the newest addition to the summit. It's a very pretty blonde, with mascara so sharp it could kill a man, and with an even more boisterous voice. "That's the Ookuninushi, Tanaka Saeko. She's the host of this summit."

"Hey, Saeko-chan! Long time no see!" Atsumu calls, waving wildly at the  _very_  anger-looking blonde lady. Her coal kimono whips around her madly, and Tetsurou has half the mind to pull Atsumu done and stuff a pillow in his face so he doesn't antagonize the angry lady any further. He does the pulling part, but it's too late. She's stomping toward them.

He's not sure if the now wolfish smile on her face is a good sign.

"Hey there!" To his utter surprise (and abject horror), she throws an arm around his shoulders and beams at him. "You're the new Land God, ain't ya? How're ya liking the place so far?"

Tetsurou decides he does not want to say anything to antagonize the host. "It's, uh, nice."

"Good, great!" She wraps an arm tighter around his shoulders. Tetsurou struggles not to get stuffed in her ample chest. If he knew any better, he'd think she was doing it on purpose. Though for what reason, he can't possibly fathom—

"Hey, everybody!" she bellows, flexing her arm and ruining all his struggles. "The newbie's volunteered to go to Yomotsuhirasaka!"

The cheering is deafening. Tetsurou can't believe how hard he's struggling to get out of this busty chokehold.

"I didn't—"

Somehow, she flexes even more, and Tetsurou is now afraid he's going to pass out from lack of oxygen before he ever gets out of this.

He really, truly, with all his heart, wishes Shiro were here.

* * *

"This is a good plan, but, you know, if  _I_  think it's a good plan, and 'Hiro think it's a good plan, than Yaku will definitely not like this plan."

Bokuto whines, the sound coming out like that of a torched animal's, stuffed out by the pillow he'd buried his head in. Issei puts the paper of what Bokuto had titled Operation: Make Kuroo Happy Again Before Funeral down. He'd tried to be optimistic, but the title had already kind of thrown everyone out of their loop, especially considering the demonic looking numbers indicating how many days left they had to pull this off.

_**188 DAYS BEFORE FUNERAL** _

Issei hadn't realized they were this close to it. It sets off something tight and depressing inside him.

"But does it matter?" Makki interjects, bouncing on the bed somewhere near Bokuto's head. "I mean, if we like it, and Bokuto made it, doesn't that mean Kuroo will like it?"

Bokuto shoots up immediately; the sudden motion throws Makki straight off the bed. He goes down with a squawk.

"Yes! Kuroo's all that matters, right?!"

It's true, in a sense. Sure they'll probably get their collective asses kicked before the party, but then everyone will be forced into party mode afterwards. And it's not as if they've ever backed down from shenanigans before because Yaku wouldn't like it. Issei  _never_  plays bad cop. It's not like him to act like this.

"Yeah, but…" He just doesn't want to say it. Yes, throwing a surprise party for Kuroo would be awesome, and yes, hosting a mock volleyball match with all of them there would be nice, but… won't that define their lose? Issei isn't sure if he wants to give that up yet, even if it's a truth they can't truly hide from anymore.

"Ok, so," Mattsun climbs back to his feet and rubs his nose, "I'm  _pretty_  sure me and Issei are thinking the same thing here," Makki meets his eyes, and Issei isn't sure how to react, "and I don't want to be the asshole here but—"

"Don't say it—" Issei tries, but it's too late.

"—this idea is sort of depressing. Sorry."

There's a silent moment where Bokuto sort of sits up and cocks his head, the most innocent of knots between his brows. It's completely terrifying.

"What do you mean?" Bokuto asks, and Issei brings his hand to his face in a silent prayer. He can't just let Makki take the full blunt of this.

"Look, Bokuto," he begins, and Makki shoots him a grateful look, "I know how this is going to sound, but I can't say it any other way. If we throw this party… we'll really be bringing up the fact Kenma's gone, and I don't think it's going to be a party after that."

"I agree with Mattsun," Makki says immediately, before Bokuto can even react.

Bokuto looks between the two of them, like he's seeing them for the first time, and Issei can't bring himself to meet his eye. He knows it's a coward's move, but he's just not in the mood for depression. Nor, he thinks, will he ever really be in the mood for it. It isn't exactly the most welcoming of emotions. It's selfish, he understands, but he doesn't know how to be selfless about something like this.

"But…" Bokuto hugs a pillow between his arms once, before he looks at them again, fierce and expectant, "It's  _for_  Kuroo! It's not for—! It's… not for… Kenma."

"We get it," Makki says, "We really do, but don't you think this will make things more depressing after the party?"

" _No_ ," he proclaims, his eyes shining angrily as he puts the pillow down, "I mean,  _yes_ , it will be sad, even if I don't  _want_  it to be, but it's also going to be fun and happy and  _hopeful_ , so even if Kuroo gets super sad afterwards, and reaches rock bottom, he'll remember the fun and happy and  _hopeful_  parts, and then he'll realize he has nowhere to go but up."

Bokuto breathes heavily as he finishes. Somewhere in his speech, he'd stood up on the bed. He jumps down, back now to them, and says over his shoulder, "I'm disappointed in both of you," before walking out the door. Issei's pretty sure he hears the front door open and close.

"Ok, now I just feel shitty—" Issei and Makki say at the exact same time. Issei is quick to add the, "Jinx, you owe me a soda."

"Dammit! Now I feel horrible  _and_  I have to go buy cola," Makki falls forward on the bed. Issei doesn't stop him.

They stew in a sort of regretful silence for a while, neither Issei or Makki really knowing what to say at this point. Issei was honestly a bit surprised by Bokuto's response. He didn't think he'd thought out this surprise party of his that far ahead. He's impressed, and feeling really shitty for being such a coward about this whole thing.

"God, Bokuto was so c— jinx,  _you_  owe me a soda!" Makki is the one who says it first this time, springing and pointing at Issei with all the vindication of a revengeful five year old. Now either they both revoke soda rights, or they both go to the supermarket. It's a loss-loss situation either way.

"Ok, so I know this isn't the best time to bring it up," Makki starts, sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed, "but he does know that he just walked out of his own apartment, right?"

Issei looks at Makki. Makki looks at Issei.

"Two thousand yen he's outside the door."

"Deal."

Issei and Makki scramble to get through the bedroom door. They race towards the front door. Issei gets there first, and pushes Makki down to look through the peephole.

Bokuto Koutarou sits crouched in a ball with his head in his hands, looking to be silently screaming. Issei can even see the red tips of his ears.

He grins victoriously and holds out his hand to Makki.

"Pay up."

Makki shoves him and looks through the hole himself. He grumbles a profanity under his breath and begrudgingly pulls out two one thousand yen bills to slap on Issei's outstretched hand.

"Thank you for your services, good man." Issei even adds a little bow to further gloat his victory. Makki shoves him

"Shut up," Makki says, and Issei laughs a little. There's a small pause, and then, "We're going to the party, right?"

" _Of course_  we are. How can you even ask that?"

"I'm still feeling really shitty, ok? I lost so many times today."

"There, there. There's always next time, right?"

"Shut up."

* * *

The house is painfully quiet without Oikawa and Kuroo.

In the beginning, it had been a blessing. Hajime had gotten loads of work done, without having to take any breaks doing damage control for trouble children. Even Yin and Miko have been less lively, though Hajime suspects the former is just depressed Oikawa's gone, while the latter doesn't have Kuroo to egg her on into trouble.

However, after a while, when he's done with his work for the day, and he sits around the living room scrolling through his phone, he finds himself restless, in a sort of Edge of His Seat state that doesn't seem to fade no matter what he does. It's stupid, but he sort of wishes he'd went with the idiots regardless of the backload of work just so he knows they're not getting into otherworldly trouble.

He's such an idiot.

"Is this necessary?"

Hajime startles badly. His phone fumbles from his hands and he barely manages to catch it again. He glares at Shiro, who looms over his shoulder, disinterested in his antics.

"What," he snaps sharply. She didn't have to sneak up on him. He can't help but feel she's been a little off since the idiot trio left. He's caught her more than once looking out windows for elongated times without an apparent reason. He's getting tired of it, and just the slightest bit worried.

She gestures to his phone. "Is this necessary?"

Hajime remembers what he was searching through even before he rescans his phone. He'd been inspecting new apartment listings, searching for something suitable to replace their old one. He isn't exactly sure how to feel about Shiro catching him. Ashamed? Apologetic? Submissive? It wasn't like they could stay here forever. They've already leeched off Shiro's hospitality enough as it is. Hajime can feel himself getting dependent on it, and he doesn't like it.

"Yes," he finally admits, though still unsure how this is going to play out exactly.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why is it necessary?"

_Why?_ It was a question with a million answers. Hajime isn't sure which one to pick.

"Because…" Should he be professional about this? Or should he try a personal approach? Was this even about any of those? Or was there an entirely different conversation going on here Hajime isn't privy to? He doesn't  _know_ , goddammit. He has no idea what's going on. He's going to wing this. "Because it's disrespectful to keep taking advantage of your hospitable like this—"

"I don't mind."

Hajime stops. What is he even supposed to say to that?

"It doesn't matter," he says quietly. He places his phone on the couch and stands. He faces Shiro and repeats, "It doesn't matter if you don't mind. That doesn't suddenly make it ok or any less rude. We've been impeding on your life so much and it's about time me and Kuroo made some real life decisions."

Hajime bows, back impeccably straight from experience. "Thank you for your hospitality."

Hajime spends a long time staring at the floor, waiting for Shiro to say something. However, the silence stretches long and looms over Hajime's back until he finally gives in and straightens.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight awaiting him.

"What life, Hajime?" she chokes, bringing a palm to her face to catch the teardrops. "What life do I have to go back to, Hajime?"

Hajime is frozen still. None a single part of his body even twitches. His eyes are wide, sucking up this image of Shiro, Shiro who tore away a house to save them, Shiro who'd revenged to kill Takano for him, Shiro who is brass and sarcastic and rude and unmoving. That same Shiro, crying.

"Shi—"

"Kenma is gone! Takanobu is gone! Sora is gone! Everyone I love is  _gone_! What life is there for me to lead without the people I love, Hajime?!" The tears spill more freely, and Shiro doesn't try to catch them anymore. "Here I think I've finally found reason for all the patience I've given to this life, but it was for naught, Hajime! You will all leave as well, just like everyone else in my life…"

There's a cruel, twisted smile at her mouth as she plumps down on the couch, bringing her hands to her tear-stricken face.

"Forgive me, Hajime," she says immediately, while Hajime is still reeling from the reality he'd just witnessed. "Watching Tetsurou leave reminded me too much of the pathetic tragedies I've brought on to my life."

That's when Hajime suddenly understands where this is all coming from. Or, well, to be honest, he doesn't understand. It's not like he's gone through losing so many people to understand, nor does he think he will get it if he'd gone through the same thing. The only action he's sure of at this point is that he has to say something, because he's sure to regret not saying  _anything_.

"There's always something worth living for." He's hopeless. That sounded like the fakest, most plastic statement to start off any heartfelt infomercial. Hajime keeps going on out of sheer embarrassment. "I know you've heard it a million times, and I know how stupid it sounds right now, but it's true. There's never  _not_  a reason to keep living. There's always something out there, no matter how small or how seemingly worthless, that's worth getting up in the morning for. It can be the stupidest thing ever, like wanting to hear the rest of Oikawa's fake-ass story, or wanting to get revenge against Kuroo for being stupid, or anything. And… if you think you don't have a reason, then you just have to—you just have to wait for one!"

His cheeks are aflame. His fists are white. He has no idea what possessed him to say any of that. He has no idea where any of this is even coming from. Maybe he should quit his job in shoujo manga and go live under a rock for a while.

Despite herself, and despite the tears, Shiro laughs a little.

"You're horrible at this, Hajime." He can't believe she's actually making a jab at him while crying and having a breakdown. "How will you ever marry?"

"Oh, put a fucking sock in it."

He's about to storm off and try to find a way to erase this evening from his mind forever, but Shiro leans her head against his chest. Hajime, despite wanting to bury himself alive to avoid further embarrassment in his life, lets her settle herself against him.

* * *

Taichi did not sign up for this.

"Are we there yet?"

"No, and that goes for the next three times you're going to ask."

The tengu brat slumps, a feat which surprisingly has no effect on his flying. Taichi is comfortably tugged in the birdy shadow Hinata paints against the pavement, and therefore unaffected by the fatigue of the actual travel, but Hinata's constant need for conversation is starting to get him, and regret is starting to pool into thoughts.

When he'd cornered Hinata and requested his help, Taichi had really only taken into account the whole flying thing. He'd assumed with more distance covered, and the conviction Hinata held for Kenma's return, they'd be able to make more progress, as opposed to Taichi's lone nightly escapades through dreams. But, as it turns out, Taichi has unknowingly signed over his life for a new babysitting profession with Hinata Shouyou, the tengu who has never seen an inch of human civilization, as his first baby.

This job is not his thing in the least.

"Something smells really good over there, like, Shiro-san's cooking good." Hinata starts, and it's an immediate precursor for a  _here we go again_  to ring in Taichi's head. "You know what else would be really cool? If I could tell Daidaimaru and Botanmaru and Hitoki and Yuu awesome things I did in the human world. Like, maybe if we found a dragon or something, we could beat it real quick and then it'd be a super awesome story to tell them, don't you think so—"

"Hinata, have you ever tried a pork bun?" It's a tactic Taichi has yet to try, and it immediately grabs Hinata's attention. Maybe if he feeds the kid, he'll stop talking as much.

"No, what is that! Is it good?" Hinata asks in wonder, with all the desperation of a child asking for a piece of candy.

Taichi emerges from the shadow and stands to his full height. It startles a nearby human woman and she's quick to roll her stroller around and away from him. Taichi hopes it's just from his sudden appearance and not from the demon thing and all. He's equipped both himself and Hinata with glamors around the neck which he knows are working fine (it's Kenjirou's own work after all), but he isn't really sure what he looks like to human. Or, for that matter, what Hinata looks like flapping around him. A little too close to him actually, he can feel moots of dust kick about behind him each time Hinata flaps his wings, and it's really starting to irritate him. Yet when he turns around to push the brat back a bit, the sheer wonder and dependence shining in his orange eyes throw him off.

"Don't make too much noise," is his personal compromise on the matter, as he walks over to the source of the wondrous wafting smells, rubbing a hand through his hair. Was he always this soft on kids before? Or is it just something outside his normal zone of experiences he just has to get used to? He isn't sure if he's liking this development. Yes it's been a week or two (or even three, he hasn't really been keeping track much) since they've been traveling together around the human world, but he didn't expect to…

"Two please." The woman behind the cashier is giving him looks. Taichi is starting to think his human form must be some delinquent looking fellow complete with a leather jacket, tattoos and piercing with all the disapproving glances he's attained. So much for not wanting to garner unwanted attention.

He grabs both paper wrapped buns and pays. Hinata is very short of watering at the mouth when Taichi hands him one. Taichi can't really blame him, the meaty smell is quite heavenly, probably more even more so for someone who is hungry with the way Hinata's stomach growl.

For his part, Hinata stares at the freshly-made bun between his hands for a good minute. And then he chomps on the entire thing, paper and all, and his cheeks puff out like a particular greedy chipmunk.

The transformation of his facial features is instantaneous. He's chewing and relishing and trying not to choke while simultaneously attempting to say something to Taichi — probably his extremely positive comments on the taste — and it's all making Taichi very uncomfortable in his general heart area.

With a move that gives Taichi secondhand pain, Hinata swallows. Before he can even begin to gush, Taichi holds out the second pork bun.

"You can have this one."

Taichi's a little more prepared for the second-coming of The Look Of Wonder, but it stills disconcerts something in his gut. He's afraid he might have to change the plans he's made for ones a little more fortunate in Hinata's favor.

* * *

How Yahaba has kept Kentarou on lockdown for more than a month is fucking  _beyond_  him.

Yahaba has swamped him with a thousand and one jobs to keep him from wondering off during the day. He's on kitchen, cleaning, and box-moving duty, and, to top of this stupid butler job of a cake, he's got Shibayama's puppy dog eyes on him any time he goes out for errands, and Kogane's very earnest company. He could go out at night, but he's always too exhausted from the day's work to do so. There's also the fact Terushima's partying his ass off in Izumo that's really stopping him from confronting him any time soon, and it's not like Kentarou's about to do it over text messages.

"Kyoutani."

Kentarou snaps up from where he was scrubbing a dish to death to glare at Yahaba. It's way too early to start anything right now, and Kentarou has got to get these dishes — that have somehow magically made their way in the sink even though he'd just washed them last night — clean before any customers come in and swamp them with orders.

" _What?_ "

"Lev's cousin flew in yesterday, and he's bringing him over today." Holy shit, there are more of them? Why the hell is Yahaba bringing more disasters to the restaurant? Is he trying to kill them?

Yahaba continues with his arms crossed over his chest, unaware of Kentarou's inner mindfuckery. " He loves Japanese food, and he's famous. I need you to make the most Japanese thing we have for him. The longer he stays here, the better. Oikawa's been gone for all but a week and is business is already declining."

Oikawa not being here has been the best thing that has ever happened in his life. If only Yahaba had gotten sick at the time as well, then Kentarou would have been in heaven.

As if Yahaba can read his thoughts, the werecat glares at him and turns up his nose in exact replica of a move Oikawa would have pulled. "You better be on your best behavior. The last thing we need is international mishaps."

"Whatever."

Lev's cousin is a circus party only inferior to Oikawa Tooru himself, and even then it wasn't by much. He hasn't tried to kiss Kentarou or anything like the other bastard, but he's done everything else short of kissing him. He's shaken Kentarou's hand, looked into his eyes like he's his long last lover, and gone on and on about everything he loved about Japan. It's gotten to that annoying point where Kentarou sort of wishes the bastard Russian would kiss him just so he could be over and fucking down with this.

"Lyovochka! Your friend is upset! Was it something I said?"

"No! He just always looks like that! Here, try this parfait! Kyo made it for you!"

Kentarou cannot for the life of him remember or even pronounce his name, but the animated twinkle in the green eyes of the older man is so prominent of Lev about to explode in wonder after getting a present, Kentarou is already backing away and fleeing towards the backrooms.

He hears something like, " _vkusno!_  " just as he ducks into the kitchen.

Thankfully, nobody follows him in, and Kentarou manages to snag a few minutes of blissful silence before Shibayama pokes his head in.

"Kyo-kun," he's already equipped the Worried Eyebrow look, "are you ok?"

Kentarou grunts. It's the same old routine he's become used to every day. Two versions of Haiba Lev isn't any worse than what he's accustomed to dealing with, he'd just rather deal it in the safety of the kitchen far away from any touchy feely Russians.

Shibayama slips in and just stands there fidgeting for a minute. Kentarou sort of wishes he hadn't already done the dishes this morning so he'd have something to do now instead of stewing in this awkward silence.

"What do you want," he tries, and Shibayama flinches. Kentarou regrets the day he was born.

"Oh, um," Shibayama rolls on the balls of his feet and pokes his fingers together. He pursues his lips before continuing, "So… Shigeru-kun has been very hard on you lately, hasn't he?"

When isn't Yahaba increasingly hard on him is the  _real_  question. Though Kentarou isn't really sure were Shibayama's going with this. Is he trying to pick a fight with Kentarou?

"So?"

Shibayama flinches again. Dammit, so he  _wasn't_  picking a fight. Kentarou is horrible at this picking up social cues thing.

"I… I talked to Shigeru-kun… and I convinced him to be easier on you."

Kentarou blinks once, twice, thrice, and the downtrodden face of the werecat who just convinced Yahaba Shigeru to go easier on him is still there.

"What."

"I—! I know it's probably none of my business! But Shigeru-kun was being very unfair, and you looked really tired so I—!"

Shibayama slumps, and lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry."

Kentarou's mind is still blown over by the fact Shibayama argued with Yahaba for him. He has no idea why or even how Shibayama is suddenly apologizing but he isn't about to let this weird atmosphere go on for any longer.

He trudges over to Shibayama, who looks as much like a sad wet kitten as he possible could without the fur or the wet part, and roughly ruffles his hair. Shibayama squeaks at the sudden notion and bats his hand away. His hair is a masterpiece of angles as he blinks at Kentarou in astonishment.

Kentarou is quick to grumble out a, "Thanks" before losing his nerve.

Shibayama looks like his favorite anime character just came to life and gave him a sandwich.

Kentarou has nowhere left to escape, so he just rolls with it. Anything is better than dealing with the cesspool of morons outside.

Plus, Shibayama isn't half bad to be around.

* * *

 

This is completely Oikawa's fault.

"Roo _cchi_ , let me go back—"

"If  _you_  hadn't ditched me for all your new friends, this wouldn't have happened. So yeah,  _no_ ," Tetsurou continues to drag Oikawa along as they follow their escort through the bamboo trees to their newest destination. "It's your fault I got saddled with guarding the fucking  _underworld_."

That's right. You'd think Ookuninushi-sama would think twice about giving the job of guarding hell's gate to the newbie with less magical prowess than a… Tetsurou doesn't even have enough knowledge to complete that analogy. How do they expect him to guard  _hell_  for two days?

"It's not as bad as it seems," offers their escort. Tetsurou didn't quite catch his name, but he's pretty sure he's a familiar of one the evil twins, and that's already not the greatest foot to start off with for Tetsurou. "Just make sure the Great Boulder isn't moved and scare off any loitering youkai and I'm sure you'll be fine."

Unacknowledged by his escort, Tetsurou halts mid-step. He lets the fellow get ahead and, once he's a good few feet in front of them, he tugs Oikawa a little closer.

"Hey, Oikawa," he begins quietly, "why are youkai suddenly a bad thing? Isn't… isn't Shiro a youkai?"

Oikawa narrows his eyes, but thankfully doesn't start any bullshit. "Youkai haven't 'suddenly' become a bad omen, Roocchi," he answers, eyes on their escort, "They're demons, after all. Powerful, uncontrollable, unholy beings. Of course the gods aren't going to like something they can't control."

"But what about all the other familiars—"

"Those are just harmless animals spirits. Dogs, cats, birds. You know,  _weaker_ spirits." Oikawa's lips turn about a knowing smile. It's a sinister one. "You don't see anyone masquerading around with a fox now, do you?"

Does that mean, if Tetsurou had brought Shiro here, she would have been  _in danger_? Is  _that_  why she didn't want to come? But… why hadn't she told him?

"Uh." Tetsurou and Oikawa snap to attention. Their escort stands in front of them, sweating bullets. "We have a bit of a problem."

" _A problem?"_  Oikawa and Tetsurou question at the same time, though Oikawa says it with misplaced cheer, and Tetsurou says it with the horror of anyone tasked to guard the underworld.

"There's, um, a youkai, and, uh, I think he may have moved the Great Boulder," says their escort, with the panic Tetsurou is starting to feel creep into his nerves.

" _Yes!_  Just what I need! A good fight!" exclaims Oikawa. Tetsurou is going to smack him. Oikawa grabs his wrist. "Let's go check it out, Roocchi!"

With his other hand, Oikawa freezes the ground at their feet, and they're suddenly moving along through a blur of bamboo trees very quickly.

The thick forest splits into a clearing, and Tetsurou spies a rock three times the size of him in the middle of it. It must be the Great Boulder Escort-kun was talking about. There's a thick bloom of smoke-like fog billowing up from the area as well, and the sheer ridiculousness of it suddenly hits Tetsurou.

"You mean that's all they have to guard the underworld?" he shouts, unbelieving of this situation. " _A rock?_ "

"It's the Great Boulder, Roocchi! Isn't it beautiful?"

"There's a hole. In the ground. Leading to the underworld. And the only thing the great godsof Izumo do is put a rock on it."

" _Great Boulder_! Listen when someone's talking to you, Roocchi!" The magnitude of hypocrisy in that statement alone could cause a nuclear explosion. "And don't be ridiculous. Of course there's someone guarding it! They're just probably on a luxurious vacation at the moment! Look, we're almost there—"

"Yeah, stop, right now."

Oikawa comes to a complete halt. Tetsurou forgets that the idiot is bound to his orders at time. Oikawa levels him with a pout.

"I want to punch something, Roocchi. Why do we have to stop—"

"Remember the last time I went into something blind? Yeah, I refuse to go into this without information. I'm pretty sure there are do's and don'ts when guarding the underworld." Tetsurou tries for his best imitation of a threatening smile. "Spill. Now."

"Why would  _I_  know anything about the underworld—"

" _Now._ "

"T-the underworld is the line between death and rebirth," gasps out a voice behind. It's their escort. Tetsurou's impressed he was able to keep up with them with how fast Oikawa was going. Oikawa, on the other hand, appears very insulted, like the man has just spat in his face or something.

Their escort continues regardless after he catches his breath, "Mortals can't breathe the air there without decaying. Weak spirits, malevolent or benevolent, will turn to dust if they fall in. Only gods can come and go freely, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take caution. It's very dangerous."

Tetsurou slaps the back of Oikawa's head before the escort even finishes. "What the hell, Oikawa?! Why are you rushing off like some suicidal maniac if it's so dangerous?!"

"I was  _not_ ," whines the suicidal maniac, "and Chikka said weak spirits." Oikawa than flexes an arm and poses. "Have you  _not_  seen these guns as off late? You can't be a host without gaining a few arm muscles carrying all those plates."

"It's Chikara," deadpans their escort. Tetsurou feels as empty as Chikara's voice sounds. "And no, guns are not enough to withstand underworld miasma, Oikawa-san."

"Ok, I can't believe I'm the one saying this," Tetsurou drags a hand through his hair. He can only hope this will end well, "but I think the both of you should stay here while I check this out."

There is immediate protest for his suggestion but Tetsurou is quick to shoot them both down. "Look," he begins sharply, "if things go south, I'll be the one to sustain the least amount of damage, since I'm technically a god and all. You," he points to Chikara, "on the hand, just said you'd turned into sad little piles of soot if you so much as breathed in that black stuff. And you," he points to Oikawa, "are in the same boat as Chikara-san."

Oikawa scoffs, an unbelieving tone laced in his voice, "You can't be serious—"

"I am  _very_  serious," Tetsurou uses his trump card before these protests go on any further. "Oikawa, I order you to stay here."

The betrayed look across Oikawa's face almost makes him regret his decision. But Tetsurou isn't about to get anyone hurt on his watch. He turns to Chikara, "I can't force you, but I think we both know where I'm coming from on this."

Chikara visibly hesitates but then he nods. "Be careful. Youkai are unpredictable."

Tetsurou tries not to answer that bitterly, "I will."

" _Roocchi_ —!"

"If I look like I'm in danger, then you can swoop in however you want to save me, but other than that, stay here, Oikawa."

Tetsurou doesn't turn back after that.

He spends the walk from the edge of the clearing to its center writing down talisman, stuffing half of them in his pockets, and the other half he makes into paper airplanes. He's gotten pretty good at aiming them, and there may be a chance he can deal with this problem using long range attacks, instead of any direct frontal confrontation.

He does not expect to recognize the bright red hair of the youkai holding some poor sap over the edge of the underworld.

" _Tendou?_ "

The youkai snaps his neck sideways so fast it almost flies off. He blinks at Tetsurou, red eyes wide, and then he detaches one of the hands holding up a rather petrified boy over hell to wave at him.

"Hey, Kuroo-kun. What's up?"

"' _What's up?'_ " Tetsurou repeats incredulously. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"P-p-please help me!" squeaks the truly terrified boy in and equally terrified voice.

"Well, I'm just sort of looking into this abyss here," Tendou comments, scratching his hair, "And I may or may not be having a friendly conversation with my buddy here," He holds up his hand in half a prayer and tilts his head, "And I'd really appreciate it if you maybe ignored what was going on here? Think of it as a… favor for your ex-husband! It could be like, my bride price!"

"Tendou." Tetsurou takes a deep breath. This situation could actually be in his favor if he can play his cards right. He knows Tendou. He'd bounded with him over shoujo manga. Nobody who likes shoujo manga can be all bad, right? He goes for a soft smile, a peace offering. "Why don't you put the poor brat down, and then maybe we could have a talk instead? I mean, I still think Tohru-chan is a hundred times better than Yuuki."

"We've been  _over_  this, Kuroo-kun!" Tendou exclaims. "Yuuki-chan is totally better than Tohru, you're just blinded by too much childhood nostalgia to see it." Then he does something Tetsurou certainly doesn't want. He turns back to Petrified Boy and asks, "Isn't that right, Aoi-kun?"

Aoi could not look any less ready to have a conversation about best shoujo protagonist while dangling over hell.

"I-I won't give it to you," he chokes out, "I-I don't give c-care if d… drop me. Y-you don't deserve it."

_Is he_ trying _to get killed?_  Tetsurou does not think antagonizing the youkai holding your life in his hand (one hand!) is ever a good idea.

"Why not?" Tendou queries. Tetsurou hopes to all the gods drinking themselves silly in the banquet hall Aoi has some semblance of my mind left not to say anything stupid.

"Tadashi-sama w-would be upset with me."

Tetsurou isn't privy to the backstory here, but he can see Tendou's demeanor change drastically. He wants to smack Aoi.

"Oh? Is  _that_  why you've been so stingy?" Tendou mocks a thinking pose. "You know, I think he'd be more upset over how fast you changed shrines. I mean, you were crying, and then next thing I know, you're suddenly a familiar at the Great Shrine. Haha! I was pretty shocked, ya know." Tendou's happy expression drops, just a little. "Didn't think Tadashi meant so little to you."

"S-shut up." Ok, since Aoi seems to be as suicidal as Oikawa, Tetsurou is going to take this into his own hands. He shifts through his talisman, careful not to draw attention to himself, and forms a plan in his mind.

"Oh but  _no_!  _Please,_ be my guest and continue this pity act. I'm sure  _Tadashi-sama_  would love to see what a hypocrite you are!"

"It's y- _your_  fault he doesn't exist anymore!" Aoi shouts, grasping Tendou's wrist roughly. Tetsurou takes aim with his newly folded paper airplane and throws it.

His aim is perfect. The paper plane makes a beeline for Tendou's chest. Kuroo is at its tail, ready to grab Aoi if the  _shove_  he'd inked into the paper goes awry.

Aoi shoves Tendou, and Tendou's grip barely holds. Kuroo manages to tap the airplane and change its course away from the disaster. He rushes forward, something like an icy wind at his back, both arms outstretched to grab both Tendou and Aoi. Tendou manages to snag Aoi with both hands and surprises everyone when he yanks him forward. The loss of vertigo, however, suddenly imbalances Tendou. Tetsurou grabs his shirt, just about to pull him upright, but then a great force shoves Tetsurou's back and he falls forward instead of back.

_Note to future self: do not throw a talisman with a push spell inked on it when there's a gaping hole leading to hell in the ground._

Kuroo Tetsurou and Tendou Satori fall into the underworld.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos to everyone who can spot all the cameos of other anime character in this, there r also some in earlier chapters that no one has yet to catch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), also here a link to my tumblr if u'd like to yell/talk to me


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